Dinei Achsana'i B'Chanukah: Guests, Boarders, Yeshiva Bachurim, and the Place of Hadlakah

Transcript

Okay. דין אכסנאי בחנוכה. Achsanai, big sugya. I believe that we have to get down to the root and define what an achsanai is. You know, there's an oreach and there's an achsanai, different words in Hebrew. Oreach is closer to a guest. And achsanai is closer to the word in English we call a border. Okay. That's right in the shiur, the ba'alim attached it, border. Border. Okay, so I know that some sefarim translate border and some translate guest. Okay. Some translate border and some translate guest. You just didn't find to bring me some water. As soon as you walked in, I needed water. Thank you so much. Getting there, getting there. It was a rough week, Baruch Hashem. I think I'm out of it. I'll help, Hashem. Okay. No, just a little bit cold, but it's fine. So the question is, what is an achsanai? Would I call it a border, a temporary border, a guest? Like I said, the word achsanai connotes, it's a little bit more than just an oreach. Okay, an oreach seems to be a simple guest. I believe that there's a very big nafka mina lahalacha. It's okay, it's all right. I believe there's a very big nafka mina lahalacha in the definition of achsanai, and many, many chilukei halacha come from it. So first let's see that the Mishnah Berurah himself doesn't interpret an hachsanai. You noticed that, I'm sure, right? He just runs right into habochrim sheloimdim, sheloi b'veisam, tzrichim lishtatef al kol panim. Now, he doesn't tell me where these bochrim are. Are these bochrim in yeshiva? Are these bochrim, in the old days they used to eat kest. Kest means they stayed in other people's homes, and those people would support them, would give them food. Right, so this is the shaylah. That was question number one I gave you. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure. I wanted to clarify the connection between the hachsanai and the bochur. Okay, we'll get back to it as we read in the Mishnah Berurah. Al kol panim, what's the basic halachah of hachsanai? Says the Mishnah Berurah that if it's סמוך על שולחנו בקביעות, מדינא אין צריך להדליק, אלא אם כן רוצה להיות מן המהדרין. Unless you want to be מן המהדרין. What does מהדרין mean? מהדרין means you want to be from the mehadrin and light yourself. You want to light yourself. Okay. So the first rule is, if you're סומך בקביעות, you don't need. But what happens if you eat by yourself? Says the Mishnah Berurah, right? ודווקא בבחור שאוכל בפני עצמו. So it's mashma that someone who eats בפני עצמו and he's not סומך על שולחן בעל הבית, so he, takke, doesn't light himself, but he's משתתף בפריטי. Meaning he doesn't light with the baal habayis; he's משתתף בפריטי. That's what I mean. Or he lights himself. I'm saying that the משתתף בפריטי is said for him. Okay, I'm sorry. Yeah. Mishteburah סעיף קטן ד'. Mishteburah סעיף קטן ד'. היינו אפילו אם אוכל על שולחן בעל הבית, לא אמרינן דכבני ביתו דמי, ומדינה דאי בנרח לקולם, כיון דאורח אכל. Here he calls him an oreach, ואינו ישן על שולחנו בכפיה, צריך להשתתף עמו. So here he calls him an oreach, and that's what we're going to tell you. And you knew I was going to go there, right? Okay. I'm old school Torah about this. Let's go. Again, let's artistically carve out this Mishteburah. There's a few things we have to—again. So the guy is אוכל בפני עצמו, then he has to light himself or be משתתף בפריטי. If the person, if the person is not אוכל, but he's אוכל על שולחן בעל הבית, then technically he doesn't have to light himself unless he wants to be מן המהדרין. The kvius, rabosai, is in time of how long he's going to be there. No word of Mishteburah about that, right? We have the Biur Halacha about the kvius. Correct, I know that, and I'm going to work on that Mishteburah because that's—

Reb Shlomo Zalman says it's shayach with the leshon. Reb Shlomo Zalman writes clearly, yeah, eight days. I saw that. Even though he says right after it's kol yemei chayav. Yeah, we'll get to talk about it, but shayach with the leshon, and I'll explain to you what I think he means, yeah. Is there any chiluk if there's any arrangement in mamonus as far as the secher? That's enough part of the shiur. We'll get to everything. I have a very big chiddush about that also, so slowly. I just want to first get the groundwork, and then we'll start moving. The word—are you masking that the word kvius has nothing to do with how many days he's there, as far as the reading here in the Mishnah Berurah? It's about ochel al shulchano. Reb Shlomo Zalman seems to learn that it does have something to do with kvius of time, and he makes it thirty days. If a person goes there to be there for thirty days, that's called he's kavua by the person; he becomes an achsanai. I guess for thirty days it's normal to be an oreach, and I guess after that, then you're like a real—you moved in, and you moved in to stay. Okay. To me it's a chiddush a little bit. To me it's a chiddush a little. Okay, that's also a good nekudah, but before we get to that, doesn't say it here. Doesn't say it over here, okay? Does it depend on place? Depends on matzav? Could be, I don't know. But for some reason, Reb Shlomo Zalman learns thirty days, okay? So keep that in your back pocket. Now, in the shaylah of kvius of achilah, what's called kvius? Let's say breakfast and lunch he eats out on his own; just supper he eats together with the house. How many meals a day? What do you call—what's the lashon he uses? Yeah? Muchan al shulchano b'kvius. What does that mean? That means he eats all meals there? I don't know. You know, maybe the pshat is that since he's able to go to the fridge when he wants. Maybe that's called oichal shulchani tamid. I'm going to spend... It's mistama, it's probably on a home seudah. Where do you eat the... Oh, I'm not sure. Right, so I'm going to speak about this nekudah also. For example, let's say—let's say why he spoke about this yesterday—well, let's say the other way around. Let's say all week nobody eats. You know, in today's house, you can have a week that nobody's eating. Well, who's necessarily has to do with eating in the house? Maybe he eats the food of the house, takes it somewhere else. So I said he's able to go to the fridge. That's what I'm asking. I'm clarifying. Pashut shaylah. Let's say I come there. What's the chiyus? What's the chiyus? I'm going to clarify. They have, you know, shtia, kar, you know. Okay, so I'm going to show you later on in the shiur how far I go with this. I want to know if, let's say, normally in your house, but the father more supports the son-in-law. Is that called somech al shulchano baal habayis for this? Well, what does support have to do with anything? Why not? Why can't you be mechadesh? Why can't you think out of the box? Why does support have to do with anything? He never eats there. He never eats there. That makom is his kvius? He never eats there. If he's supported by a gvir, he could start—he could be somech on the gvir's... Yissachar-Zevulun. So Yissachar doesn't have to light neiros; he's Zevulun lights for him. Okay, so let's wait till the end. Obviously the olam's not ready yet. I haven't softened up the olam yet enough to hear this, okay? So again, achsanai—we've established that the word achsanai is not an oreiach, okay? It's got to be a little bit more. How much more? That's tonight's shiur, okay? What's the difference between an oreiach and an achsanai, that the achsanai becomes a chelek of the house that he's in. And the answer is one rule, it seems, and that is that he's oichel al shulchano b'kvius. Oichel al shulchano b'kvius. It doesn't say much more than that, right? So what happens if, let's say, he's there for just a day or two, three, four? Is there some kind of a kvius in the zman of how long he's there? Rav Shmuel Zalman says yes. It's not muchach here or anything. A different shaila. Let's go. What if he's going to be there for a week? Will he be there for three, four weeks? What happens if what? If he's there for two days, but he's not there for thirty days yet, but he's going to be there for thirty days. So he's moving in for thirty days now, but he's only been there for— Yeah, that's what Rav Shmuel Zalman says. Once you move in for— that's what he says. Oh, once you move in for, not yet to be there. So your question is, eventually the guy's going to kick him out after three days. That's your question. Who says he'll last the term? I know, I know, I know. He talks about kvius, but from all over kol shas, this is Rav Shmuel Zalman's way of thinking. Okay, let's move on. I have a different shaila. What happens if he's somech al shulchan baal habayis, okay?

But he really doesn't sleep that much over there. He comes home for meals and he's running around, and he can sleep anyway. He can sleep by his friends. It doesn't— if the ikar kav is a samech al shulchan baal habayis, so that's all you have, that's all you need. So that's shaila number one. Where's the Ramah telling him? This Ramah in Shulchan Aruch about the— about the yagovas of the makom achilah, as long as the place where he's sleeping is not beiso. Let's see, let's see which Ramah you're talking about. This one, 'Hagah: v'yesh omrim...' Which one? That one? 'Hagah: v'yesh omrim, ... yadlik b'makom she'ochel.' And the Mishnah Berurah says, '... davka l'inyan hachsanai she'ein beiso etzlo.' So the place where he's sleeping is not beiso either. That's something else. I'm asking a different shaila. Maybe if he doesn't sleep there that much, beiso means his beis is not there. I'm saying a different— he's saying a different vort, that where he's sleeping, meaning his house, is not really called beiso so much. You're learning it in the Ramah. I'm just saying a different ikar. He's not there so much. So he has no beis? Yeah. The mashal, he comes and he's traveling here, there, collecting. That's a hundred percent. Mishnah Berurah's saying a different vort. Mishnah Berurah's saying since he's an achsanoi, so what's the ikar kvius? The ikar kvius is the fact that he eats there. Where does he sleep? Mishnah Berurah's not saying he's not sleeping there. You're adding that. Yeah, that notes not. One sec. Let's see. Wait a minute. That's what he means. Ein beisah etzloi. That's what he means. Ein beisah etzloi means he doesn't have a beisah. I understand. So where's he sleeping? The pashut is, we're over there. So what's the shaylah? If he should lie in his bedroom or lie in the kitchen? Yes, the case of shulchan. Absolutely. Which means he has a kvius for—he has a kvius for, right, l'choira, right, after this Ramah it shouldn't really be a shaylah. I'm sorry, maybe you're right. Oh, since the case, he has a kvius for both. He's here and here, so we follow the eating. It's not a Chanani; it has nothing to do with where I'm staying. It has to do with what I'm eating. According to Ramah it's clear even. Anyway, okay, you're right, you're right, yeah. Okay, so let's go back to the first shaylah. The first shaylah is if he only, let's say, eats one meal a day, or if he only eats their Shabbosim, okay, or if, pshat is, he's able to go to the fridge, okay. I want to tie in an interesting chiddush. What happens if he has a kvius to go every year for two days Chanukah to visit a certain family? That's a kvius. Every year. This is set in stone, okay? Shabbos, Chanukah by the parents. I hold it's a kvius. It alleviates a lot of things in the sugya. Pay attention. What's called a kvius? What tells of a kvius? Maybe kvius is if it's done b'oifen kavua, that's called a kvius. That's kvius, or tmidiyus. I hope that could be kvius. I hear. The kvius to visit. Which is really, in lomdish terms, it's... You like it, huh? But you like it? I don't know. I'm trying to say forget. Kvius is just a visit. A visit. You're wording it in a way that you're not accepting it. Okay. The what? You're bordered in. You have to soften the... Okay, we're getting there, we're getting there. Soon I'll show you more. Soon I'll show you more. Are you paying rent? This hachsanai is for free or for money? Not one word. Huh? One word. What? Are you paying rent? What's the story here? What's the hachsanai? You're a boarder. Boarder usually pay money. Huh? Why not? We just said it's not a guest. I thought we said it's a boarder. No, it means a guest has to pay other... Okay. If you're paying rent and you're... Oh, so some Acharonim want to say this, that if you're paying rent, that if you're paying rent, even though you're living among all the people, right? So then the pshat is you become your own baal habas. Then you can start clarifying. Are you living mamish like everybody else in the house? If you have your own room, so then maybe you could start, you know, splitting it up.

Let's say your mom's living together, and you're gonna give a guy, you know, a hundred dollars. Your father pays a hundred dollars a week to his brother to take you in. Other Acharonim want to learn that fakert, it doesn't make a difference; he has a din achsanai. I want taina b'gisucht. What's the whole ... pshat in the Mishtatef b'prutah? Machlokes רבי שלמה זלמן and רבי יוסף. I love this. רבי יוסף learns that the neiros and the pesilos — soon we'll get to the pesilos — but pashut the shemen has to be lachem; there's a din that has to be yours. So Mishtatef b'prutah means that that's how it becomes yours. Ah, mois and koins, we'll discuss in a few minutes. Oh, we'll see, we'll see, we'll see. רבי שלמה זלמן learns it's a way of becoming part of בני הבית. He says, בני הבית. Mishtatef b'prutah — you're involved in the activities of the home. And by Shabbos candles, Shabbos candles, there's a din lachem. Oh, so that's famous kasha. The truth is, they all attack רבי לויושע, but he has rayas, that there's rayas from Acharonim there's a din lachem. It's a big raya in Acharonim if there's a din of lachem. I'm stumped with this: is there a din lachem on the oil? Machlokes, right? It's al t'reid. Kitzur, רבי לויושע holds there's a din of lachem; רבי שלמה זלמן holds that Mishtatef b'prutah is to make you part of the בני הבית. It's very shayach that the paying of the rent, fakert, makes you alts בני הבית. What's the difference in the Mishtatef b'prutah? Whoever is mishtatef b'priti — besides being he's in the oil, I'll give you better: mishtatef b'priti, I'm takke mishtatef in the house. Huh? No, but I'm part of the house now. I'm not just a guest. Tenant? Can't throw me out when you want. I'm paying you. Yes. Not a tenant, achsanai. Achsanai is a boarder. A boarder. Shailah is, how do you magdir a boarder? That's the question. So many Acharonim want to say — Huh? So that's what we said, we don't know. Reb Shlomo Zalman seems to say there is a din of zman. Zman is thirty days. L'maaseh, if you learn, let's say he pays the rent, so many Acharonim want to say he pays the rent, so he baal habayis, he oys achsanai. Others want to say, fuck out, you're still living an achsanai. And these halachos — of course a big nafka mina. We're going to give me — of course I'm going to give me to talk. You know the case in the Mishnah Berurah is that the bachurim are eating elsewhere. Can I ask you a question? Where were they eating? You didn't answer that shailah, huh? Yeah, tell me something, who took them in? I just want to know who would take a bachur in. People in the neighborhood. How much money did it cost them? Of course he paid for it. What do you think it was? I know maaseh, יש לו... to say. It's a maaseh, it's famous, they say it over all the time. He took in a guy from yeshiva, and the father asked they should serve meat. His child needs — well taken care of. So Rav Moshe asked him for a hamon of money. We were now the money. So I said, how's that? I made the cheshbon. The amount of meat, it's half the money. Why did you come up to this number? He says, if your son is sitting at the table with my son, and he's getting meat, well, my son should get chicken. I think you need also. The family get meat. The family has to get meat. The wife is in the house. She has to charge extra. All the rice. All the rice. HaKavod, the rabbi said, in the old days, cash was for money. Usually used to pay for it. But this would be in big nafka mina. And of course the nafka mina, we'll talk a little bit later on. If he means yeshiva, make big nafka mina. The father pays for the dormitory and for the food. We'll discuss it, okay? Does hachsanoi mean with money or hachsanoi means without money? It's a big, I hold it's a very big sugya, okay? Now, we said over that, ein tzarich lahadlik, ela im kein rotze lihishtatef im hamadlik. What about bocher sheochel bifnei atzmo, right? Aval im... right? So what happens when a bocher is ochel bifnei atzmo?

So he has to what? Shtatef b'priti. So the Biur Halacha says like this: אי משתברא, מה שכתב בבבא סלמא שולחן בעל הבית, אין צריך להשתתף. ... ואע״פ, בכל גווני צריך להשתתף. ... So how would you say the Mishnah Berurah paskens? I saw Rav, what's his name, Rav Eider, הלכתחילה should always have mishtatef. I don't see the Mishnah Berurah seems to say not like that. Isn't this what this Mishnah Berurah says? Rav Eider usually says good. Well, in this case, the bach that he says, he says even that is preferable he should mishtatef, and he brings this Biur Halacha. Which Biur Halacha? This Biur Halacha says we don't pasken like that, no? Which Biur Halacha does he say has to? What type of bach? He talks about this Mishnah Berurah. He brings this Biur Halacha. He talks about this Biur Halacha. He might not should. How? I don't care. Yeah, but he's saying he brought the Mishnah Berurah not that way, no? I don't know why would he bring this Mishnah, this Biur Halacha. Okay. Now, rabosai, when you are mishtatef, yeah? Yeah, but he says, but in the Mishnah Berurah he didn't bring it. ... So hu midivrei haMagen Avraham. So he's obviously paskening the Magen Avraham. I'm just saying. He's just saying. Maybe he wrote in the Mishnah Berurah for aniyim that might not have that money. Ach, it's pennies. What are you talking about? You're not talking money, you're talking pennies, not even pennies. ... Huh? Eleven cents. That's what they say today, eleven cents. Shreklach. ... said three cents. Okay, let's talk. We're going to talk about this case. We have a lot of work ahead of us. We just started. Come on. Okay, so al kol panim, Mishnah Berurah brings down, you hear, rabosai? So if you take a look, Mishtateh b'priti in the Mishnah Berurah, there's not one word of psilos. It just says shemen, right? Mishtateh in the shemen. The Mishnah Berurah, shulchan aruch, yeah, shemen. Talks about the shemen the whole time. Haneiros ... sagi, makdil chelev b'shemen. Where's that? Shemen, no? Gimel. Shemen, no? Mat shemen, l'hosif chelev b'shemen, matanah, shemen. That's it, shemen. So before we get to that, there's a psak from Rav Elyashiv that you have to have in mind to be mishtateh b'priti, and the psilos also. So I was wondering where it comes from. So I used to make fun of it, but I think there's a mekor for it. Let's take out the Magen Avraham that quotes a Rashba. I want to see how the Magen Avraham—there's a Rashba over here. Huh? We'll talk about it, we'll talk about it. ... lachem, we'll talk about it. Yeah, kain, it's only ... lachem. Okay, yeah, good. ... Yeah. ... Yeah. Okay, that's it. So what does it say? ... Okay, next, there's no other line? ... There's no Rashba? Okay, so I want to—let's go back to that Rashba. I remember once seeing that the Rashba used the word pesul. Maybe I'm wrong. Could we get to that Rashba? We don't have a Rashba here. All right, go look it up. Look it up. This Likkutei cup—yeah, this Likkutei cup, that this Rashba uses the word pesul. So say Likkutei cup. Otherwise there's no mekor from—mamash no mekor for it, not one word. Oh, no, no. Unless maybe—unless maybe the word neires. There's one word in the Mishnah Berurah here: hotza'as ha-neiros, she'ein tzarich leitol kol chatzi hotza'as ha-neiros. Yeah, but he talks about the shemen mostly, no? He קורא it the shemen. Pashut the shemen, right? ...

So, ... okay. So, l'maaseh, l'maaseh, in other gadol, posek hador says this, so do it. I don't have to tell you, but that's a good enough reason to do it. So if you're ... b'priti, say l'sheim mitzvah, l'shem yihud ... But I have to be more for ...? Maybe. Maybe. I know, that's what I'm saying. ... Okay, next. Okay. Tell me something. Mishtatef b'priti. They say, that's nothing. That's what they say. It's only derabbanan. Let's talk l'maaseh. I didn't make it up. I made it up with yellow. They made it to be ... So that's good. It's not ... Okay. Now let's take a look at the lashon of mishtatef b'priti. I don't like that. Something I would go. They say mishtatef b'pruto or mishtatef b'priti. Prutah is one. Priti is a few pennies, no? What's the shiur takkeh? What's the shiur? So the truth is, it's brought down, most of the acharonim, that you don't even need a shaveh prutah; it can be less than a prutah. It's just like a symbolic ... Huh? A prutah is less than a priti? No. I'm medayek that it has to be more. Pritei is rabim. Priti? I don't know. I'm not sure. You don't think mishtatef b'priti, priti is lashon Aramaic for one? It could be even less than one. It could be priti is even like a smaller ... less. Not even a kol shehu, maybe. Maybe. Think. What? It could be a type of coin, priti. So, rabosai, I behoove you, and I ask you to look into this, because I know the yeshiva's atzal held that it has to have a certain shavus of a prutah, and today a penny doesn't have a shavus of a prutah, and therefore you have to give two to three cents. No, Mishnah Berurah says חייב all night. Okay. L'choira, it's telling this shaila, right? If you learn that a false kinyan, so how can be less than a prutah, right? It has to have some shavus. But if it's just to be a chelek of a bnei habayis, so whatever you give is good enough also. Okay. Now, the Biur Halacha says ches yamim. So Reb Shlomo Zalman learns it's lav davka, it's shigras halashon, it doesn't mean ches yamim. Okay. Now I want to point out that there's a few nekudos here. It's very shayach that he needs ches yamim because it's in the same town, like I told you two nights ago, and he's going back and forth. You're talking about he's in his house and he's going to shver. So if he goes every night to shver to sleep, so that undoes the fact that he's all day in his house. But ein hachanami, if a guy goes out of town to some other place, that's not this Biur Halacha. That's what I'm saying, in town. That's what I'm saying. This Biur Halacha is not the story you go away to your in-laws in New York. It's not the same story. But even in town, it's only if he's going arai in his house. Right, I'm just saying. He's eating all day in his house. He's eating breakfast and lunch, kvius. Yeah, but that's what he means to say, that if a guy is eight days, every night he goes to sleep by a shver... Look at the Be'er Halachah. Be'er Halachah, right? So according to the Be'er Halachah, you would have to go away for eight days, and that's where a four-shayach is possible. You're going to your brother for Shabbos. The Be'er Halachah... Yeah. Page 292. Ah, okay. So that's what Rav Shlomo wants to ta'in. One day is good enough. If you're going out of town... It's only in town. He's talking about the Be'er Halachah like I told you. I want to tell you another thing also. Reb Shlomo Zalman learns it shikur in the Lashon. I'll explain to you what he means. In the old days, you didn't jump around that much. You think they got into a car and went here and they were there and they were running around. Even in the same town. You know the story, if you look carefully, where is his wife and his children? By the shver.

And you come, you're popping into the house for, say, to pay the bills, to cover their face, to pick up the mail, I don't know, whatever you're doing. It's not the same scenario. Today you jump around, you go from one place to another in two seconds in a car. You know, in order to change, in order for the case, the case was normal that you went to yeshver, so you went for eight days. It's possible you, chveis, you hitched a horse and buggy back to your house during the day. That's what he means. He doesn't mean more. But halachah nami, today that you can have a kvius by less. It doesn't have to be that I'm going to my shver, it means I'm there for eight days. Who can be in a shver for eight days? That's our leina, our leina nes Chanukah. Okay. According to this, I want to see how ... chiddush, rabosai, yeah? And I'm matzmia, I'm matzmia. I know Rav Dovid and Rav Belsky, I heard it from them, and I know all the Gedolei Eretz Yisrael pasken like this, and I'm matzmia on it. I don't understand it. Let's say a person gets married on Chanukah, married on Chanukah. So A, where does the chassan light? B, where do the guests, meaning the relatives, the shver, the chveis, the brothers, where do they light? And C, where do the guests light? Okay. So all the poskim write one of two things. Either it depends on when the chuppah is. If there's zman hadlakah before the chuppah, so then they have to light and then come to the chas. And the chassan lights b'veis hayorim, and wherever they are, wherever their kvius was. If they lived in their father's house, so they're still in their father's house. If the zman hadlockah is after, for example, the chuppah is before, so then he has to go to his house, where his house is, and light. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now there's a very problem with that, because today they don't even go to the house; they go to hotels, maises, chaleves. So also, what does a chosson do? It's still a problem. Wait a minute. Reb Shlomo Zalman wants, ad kdei kach, that he should leave the chasunah with the kallah and go to his house and sit there for half an hour with the neighbors. Tell me, you ever tried a thing like that, to disappear for half a— It's not a half an hour. Take an hour and a half by the chasunah hall. Take the pictures there. Oh, no, no, we נדחה from there, we נדחה from there. Take a picture. I'll call upon him, rabosai. This is what Reb Shlomo Zalman wants. Reb Shlomo Zalman wants that they should leave the chasunah. What about a hotel? You would light in a hotel? And a hotel is a very big problem. It's mamash a very big— Now what? What do you do? It's a very big problem. What do you do in a hotel? Dangerous? Really? I know somebody who their family is renting out a hotel in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, and they're lighting next week. They're renting— I mean, but they're renting out the hotel, live there, so something else. Okay. Now, others learn— oh, so Reb Shlomo Zalman says, but in case that's too difficult, ישי ממנה שליח. You should have a shliach go to your house over there, give him the keys, does pasul b'nei brach. Sounds right out of Bnei Brak. Well, it's not even his house yet. I hear, but I'm just saying, I can hear that Yisrael, they come up with this. Well, it's his house. He's going to live in there after. That's what's— that's his house. He moved in. He bought all the stuff in. You know, you know, he says a very nice chiddush. The Mishmeres, the, what's his name, the Karp. Karp has a ... The wife is not really his l'maaseh kinyanim till later. So how does she ...? So you have to be makneh to her the oil. I was going to ask, what happens if they get married? ... You know, he has to be makneh the oil because she's not really his wife a hundred percent. Why? Because it's only yichud without bi'ah. It's not ... It's not his wife till later, so that's it. Basically, to make a long story short, I don't understand. I heard ... it's not a hundred percent his wife, and if you look in the Mishmeres ... What's the name of the sefer? Mishmeres ... I saw it over there, Mishmeres ... years ago. Okay, let's go back there. Okay.

Mishmeres hamayadim, you hear? Mishmeres hamayadim brings us down. Okay, now, I hold — you know what, let me not say I hold. Let's not say that. Say it megufei my mishpacha. I had three family members that got married on Chanukah. Yeah, Chanukah. Okay, for one of them, the wife's family had to come in from very far, to come from very, very far. So what do you do, myse? Okay. Rabosai, there's a ma'aseh in Maharsham. I don't know why, why, why the oilam ignores it. I even heard a p'sak nusach that Rav Yankiv heard that they want to light by the chasan itself, and he laughed at it; it was a big joke. Rav David told me it's not. Again, Rebelsky, everybody. There's a ma'aseh in Maharsham, okay? Maharsham says that if you go on a train, you light. You know why? You paid your ticket, you rented it, it's your house. You go to a hotel, you said you light over there, it's your house. Who pays for the hall? Who pays for the hall? Either the chasan, whatever, the father, chosson, kallah, whatever, it's paid, should, it's paid. You light over there, rabosai, it's your house. Why do you make sheva brachos there? It's called beis chasanim, you know? Huh? You have a room there. They give you even a room there. They give you a yichud room. It's your house. Ela mai, let's go with another chap. What about the shver that came in from who knows where, from California, Vegas, right? It's your house for five hours. It's yours. Whatever, it's your house, no? Everybody lights up when they finish. That's ... by all three chasses. That's how we did it. We spoke to Rav Leibus then. ... Leibus ... Beis Avi. Light it there. It's something the Chassidim do it this way. They light by the chasan. It must be a Chassidishe halacha. The oil lights by the chasan. By the chasan. Why? They light by the chasan. Don't forget, everybody's there with their families and the children. ... What do you want? It's annoying. ... Okay. You light b'zman, no? Before the chuppah, you get up there, you get all the shver mit the shviger ... That's right, the chuppin ... Okay. Now, someone who has an office. Someone has an office, and he has customarily, he eats over there lunch, and he could sometimes eat over there supper, and he lives there. You light over there. Why not? It's your office. Belongs to you. They rent? No. Well? I'm saying, if you're a worker, I'm saying, it's not yours, not yours. But if it's yours, then it's yours. It's like you're the owner. If you're just a worker, it's not working, you're in an office. That's what I'm saying. If it's yours, it's yours. It's not ... They're overnight sometimes. People have to 24 hours. It's a 24 hours. Doesn't sleep. ... Okay. Yes. There's no ... בזמן הזה. Why? Nobody knows. Not true. Nobody knows. There's no ... בזמן הזה. We learned this, huh? Next. Should I tell you the truth that Reb Dalsky made a face when I said it to him, but I still think it's right. I don't like it. Why doesn't it sound right? He eats there, he eats breakfast there, lunch, supper. He's not eating there. Once I eat there, once I come... Why doesn't it sound right? How can I eat in yeshiva? How can I eat in yeshiva? It's never... It's never... There are people who live in their offices 24 hours. Okay. You're right. The guy never comes home. The guy never comes home. The guy comes home once a week. That's fine. The guy comes home once a week. Okay. How about... So we said this: if a guy lives in his car, a guy lives in his car, then... Okay, now, what happens, what happens if a person has his father or father-in-law next door?

He lives next door, two houses away, yeah, and he goes there all the time. Especially when his wife is out working, he stays by his mother, okay? He's there, and then he reads the paper, and then he goes to the mail. He's fandunden by the tatte's shtub, okay? Does he have a din of kibbud av va'em? I don't know. I don't know. He's not supposed to be there. He wasn't meant to be that way. What? Chaim eats breakfast by his mother? You mean years ago, you mean. Yeah, so he used to go every day. I got confused. By his sister. By his mother. Sister, I always thought. By Berza. By his sister? I always thought it was Berza. By sister. By sister. I'll tell you the truth, the reason why I'm saying it, because my father, my father lived by my Bubby's house. Since my zeide was... he used to come there, breakfast, lunch, and supper, and then the mail, and then take care of everything. That's the din of kibbud av va'em. And it was the gevaldige ma'aseh. It was the gevaldige ma'aseh. When he lights, when he lights, could he light? Mamash in beyotzei with her. Nice shaylah. There is a din of kibbud av va'em. Okay, next. Is that כי סמך על שולחן? I don't know. That's what I'm asking. I don't know. It's not official. Not official? He's there, all right, though. He eats there with the whole family. No, he's there. Okay. What about his bnei beisah? I'm saying they weren't there. The case was that he wanted a light. Nobody was home. He wanted to light over there and be yotzei. His mother. Shabbos was yotzei bizman, because could be he lives there, come on, he's always there. Okay. Nimtza b'veiso yorei'em. Let's say you go to your father's house for Shabbos Chanukah, you like it, huh? You go to your father's house and he's not there for Shabbos. They gave you the house. What do you say a bochur becomes what? Becomes like your house, right? Because your mother... That's only because you're there b'kvius. I'm talking about if you hold the property, you hold this, this, the three days, four days. So even with all the cheshbones, nice, when you're there, you become the balabos. We have to go back. Come, we have a lot of work to do. Let's go back, let's go back, let's go back. Okay, now, a bochur in yeshiva, yeah? I want to tell you a beautiful chiddush point, yeah? Is he called an oichel mi'shulchan balabayis? A lot of poskim in Eretz Yisroel hold that he's considered oichel mi'shulchan balabayis in the yeshiva, and therefore just one person in the yeshiva lights and that's it, it's done. A lot of Eretz Yisroel, you could do it like that. So it's funny because I once spoke, when I came to Torah Temimah... Yeah. It's nice, it's an interesting chiddush, huh? No, you'll be samech on the balabos. So who? One of the... yeshiva. Yeshiva. Hey, he's not lighting there. The administrator. So one guy, who's whoever's lighting for the yeshiva. I'm just saying, the head gabbai. The yeshiva's the balabayis, he's not lighting there. So whoever the gabbai, whoever represents the balabayis to light, whoever's the shliach of the balabayis to light, and everybody else. Okay, I remember standing on that rate like this. It was right about it. You don't have to be... the pri tzi, because it's called... shulchan balabayis. Okay. L'maaseh, when I came to Torah Temimah, the first few weeks there was chaos. The bochurim used to break into the kitchen every night, and they used to steal all the food. I don't want to be ma'arich, but it was very interesting, very interesting, my first few weeks in yeshiva over there. So we could discuss it. So Rav Golus got up and he gave a whole thing, and he said like this: Be'etzem, he spoke to Reb Yankiv, and Reb Yankiv told him that the food belongs to the bochurim. But l'maaseh, they're mechuyiv to give it out fairly. You see, it's not sholchem al habayis, because the food belongs to the bachurim. If you hold that the food belongs to the bachurim, so you don't have the cheshbon. Okay, there's a machlokes R' Moshe— One and the same thing? It belongs to the bachurim. It belongs to the whole yeshiva bachurim. It belongs to each bachur. It says no shulchan malei. It says no shulchan malei. What do you mean? There's the yeshiva. But then again, if three people pay, so— What if you have three or four bachurim in a house, renting a house? Okay, so I'll tell you what. I want to be b'zman. I was told that everything—I don't mind continuing a few minutes after Maariv, and then we'll work out, shleimah, we have to work out how to light the menorah Shabbos. You have to Shabbos, right? Okay, Yoel's here for Shabbos.

I want to set it up. I think I'm gonna have all seven aliyahs the way I hear. I know. So I think you're gonna have to make sure that... Moshe didn't tell me he's not here. Moshe didn't tell me he's not here. We'll talk, we'll talk back. I have a lot... Oh, yeah. Shouldn't he? What's that? It happened here. It happened in here, in America. But I'm saying last year I was in Eretz Yisrael, they didn't make a seudah. It was my wife. I have a chiddush here, like this. I want to... Let's say father pays schar... pays the... in the... father. ... What's the nafka mina? I'll say the nafka mina is: ... give yotzei. Yeah, just ... life. ... Because ... now. People do this. Wait a minute. Elamai, he wants the light, right? So the only way he can light is if he lights after his father. Because if he lights with the mehadrin, the Mishnah Berurah says, after ... it's the light. He's already yotzei. Can he make a bracha? He can make a bracha. He always makes a bracha. ... Even after ... that you...

You have to be ... So the starting light, the father lights ... they want to ... people who are in the car ... Here. So you have to ... not ... Yeah. ... I said this years ago. That's how you learn ... If you learn the Maharal, ... on the father, so you can ... Okay. If the Maharal is to light on the father, so for keri you're supposed to ... your father, no? Good, so the teretz is that's called a ... whole velt. Wait, let's start over. A whole velt. You tell the velt since they're not ... ... So therefore it comes like this: if the pshat is ... the father, and you want to light out ... you should light out. But if the pshat is it's not called ... Find out what time your father lights. ... Yeah, that's something else. By the Mishkaneses, you didn't make the first night because of Yom Tov. Shabbos you make it second. The mitzvahs of the... In base knesses. ...base knesses. ...Yom... ...even there, yeah. ...I got one more, so I just got to get one, I think just one more. I don't want anybody to feel a feeling of giving up. Many people are left town already for the holiday. I'm finding them. One person's coming. Can he come? If he can come from upstairs, that's the minyan. Do we know if he's coming or not? He has a number? My phone is... The pulse is so weak on there. I don't know what happened. I charged my phone all night. For those that are here, who have... I'll go through the halachos, but this I know that I... ...But they gave back all the terrorists. They demanded more now, I think. They want the ... of Gandhi also. It's a big game with them. They enjoyed the ... They could. They're gonna get everybody out before they get him. It's not that. It's the fun of... He's almost out? Right, right. He's almost out. It's the game. That's why they're not hurting him. Yeah. We're done. We're done. We're done. ... I'm sorry, I was gonna call you.

enிலையில்.

Hey.