Shmiras Halashon: Miriam, Judging Others Favorably, and Guarding Our Speech

Transcript

It's either that or you don't like your wife. It's one of the two, and both reasons you should get divorced. For both reasons. If you could turn over the house upside down because of a supper, says esh das, that's pshat, the Chazal. Chas v'shalom. I'm not telling you you should get angry at your wife for not cooking. If you could be so upset that you wanted divorce because she burnt your supper, that means, פרט forgive me, this is not a shidduch. This didn't work out. That's the pshat. When somebody likes— Let me tell you something. There's levels in how you get angry. When you love— Not too יכול work, because then you're mechuyav, but it depends how angry. Let me tell you something. A father has to love a son, but he sees negative l'shem Shamayim, not personal negative. Hashem loves Klal Yisrael, so what happens? So what, He doesn't see that we sin? L'poel, if He sees, we sin. V'shalo l'poel, He says, okay, you know, let it go. That's ahavah mechapeh al kol pshaim. The ahavah mechapeh al kol pshaim. The same thing here too. A person can go walk around speaking bad about another person. You know what the answer is? He doesn't like. That's the bottom line. Bottom line, he doesn't like him. You don't know, my best friend— Yeah, but l'maaseh he's a ganef in business. You wouldn't talk like that about your best friend. You know, these are your friends. That's what the Chofetz Chaim means. Ha'ocheir kamocha is chiyuvi, and if you're speaking lashon hara, that means you don't like him. And if you don't like him, oiver the issur of v'ahavta. We have a lot of ... That's what the Chazal say here. No, that's what he's trying to say. That's what he's saying. No, that's what he's answering. You see from here that there's no point that matters. That's right. That's it. It's just a raya that he doesn't like him. And the Chofetz Chaim, Chazal are saying— No, no, no. He's just saying, you want to know where you're holding if you can get angry about him? It's a very good point. You want to know? Only Godly can say such a thing. It shows a certain havanah, in the words of Chazal. ... Esh das. The third thing is matzah and nima. He found that. What? Who? Let me tell you. Usually, 99.9% of the time, they can't get along. So that's your work, Chaim. They don't love each other. It's a waste of time. It's never gonna happen. It's never gonna work. It's never gonna work. That's how you can explain. Very often, after a while they start to love. And if it doesn't come, so how much time? The rav. The rav can figure all these things out. After 40 years being together, they still don't get along, you know it's time to say goodbye. A 95-year-old man and woman came to the rav to get a divorce. So they asked him, Why'd you wait so long? He says, I waited for the children to die. They didn't want to do b'chayei banim. Okay, let's go weiter. Baruch leva'er kamon mitzvot aseh she'over al yedei sipur lashon hara u'chilul, kemo sheyadanu le'el. V'zeh hecheli be'etzem tzurah mi'ga'ali. Now we start. These are the asehs, you hear? Asehs that you're over. Okay, so now we did one test, ten dollars. Keep in mind, next test, another ten dollars. You go to Rabbi Chaimov, he's giving you the ten dollars. Whoever brought me in a test should go to Rabbi Chaimov for the ten dollars. I just spoke to him. You know what, let me talk to check if—it's not a bad idea. Let me check. Huh? No, no, I just spoke to him. He said he'll give. Just this minute spoke to him. I said, The bracha, while you're at it, I should get the money from him. Okay. It's easier for you. Okay, so I'll get the money from him. All right. So let me check the test, and I can come to him and show him the check test. I could give it tomorrow. Yes, you bring it tomorrow. Bring it tomorrow. Now. Amar ... mechabero. Someone says rechilut about his friend. Besides the lavim that we just said, seventeen lavim, over gam ken al kama aseh. He's also over many aseh, v'va'er ba'esh Hashem yisbarach echad lechad, one by one. Over al yedei mitzvat aseh, Zachor es asher asah Hashem Elokecha l'Miriam baderech. Remember what Hashem did to Miriam on the way, shehizhiranu haTorah bazeh shenizkor b'peh tamid ha'onesh hagadol asher asah Hashem yisbarach l'tzaddeket Miriam haNeviah. Remember what? The peh, remember? But isn't that one of the lavim that he said? No, no, no, no, no. Ben man asks the question, I have the same thing as— heshamer b'nega tzaraat. Ah, hishamer b'nega tzaraat, so why is this not? And he says over there is also b'peh. There it's b'peh, here it's— Yeah, but he says whenever it's hishamer. Right. So this is the aseh. That's the lav and this is the aseh. He said that there. This is the aseh, but it has to be b'peh, okay? Tamid ha'onesh hagadol asher asah Hashem yisbarach...

Tzadeket, Miriam Hanaviyah. And this is all lashon of the Rambam. Shlo dibra ella b'achel. First of all, who'd she speak about? Moshe, her little brother. Moshe, a little brother. Moshe, a little brother. Ashavton b'knaf shach. She loved him like her own self. She loved him like, like—you see, how do we know this? Because she was ready to give up her life. She put herself in sakana by the water, right, to watch him, to make sure he's okay. V'gidaltahu al birkeha. And she also, she brought him up, because after the story—let me tell you, what the law was: kol haben hayoled haYorah tashlichuhu, to kill him, not to save him, to put him into baskets. How you look? How you look? Miriam took him there. Yes, she could have said, I just saw a kid floating around. But she didn't. She took him there. What do you mean, she brought him there? Who brought him there? She brought him. Mother, no. Don't say mother. She brought him. Mother didn't. She was just watching. She did it. What do you mean she did it? She did it. She was watching. She brought him. The mother put, but she was there. But she was standing there. That's technicality. She was there. She would have been b'sakana. She would have been b'sakana. No, no, Rebbe. I'll tell you what I think, really. This is lashon of the Rambam, which is based on the Midrashim. Obviously, the Rambam is being mekatzer b'lashono based on the Midrashim that he saw. Because every word the Rambam is coming from somewhere. You know, there's a sefer—Rav Chaim Kanievsky put out a sefer to show where every word the Rambam comes from. Yeah, where every word the Rambam comes from. Lubavitch also did something like that. They put out a whole—where every word of the Rambam, the makor of every word the Rambam comes from, every word. The Rambam, how he knew it? You see, you found Midrashim. No, the Midrashim that say—no, they got together a bunch of Talmidei Chachamim. The Midrashim say this, and then the Rambam says this. You see? Oh, that's where the Rambam got this from. I once wanted to buy it years ago. I couldn't find it. I remember when it came out, and I felt bad I never bought it. But the one Rav Chaim Kanievsky has shows where all the ma'amarei Chazal missing from the Kesef Mishneh and the Lechem Mishneh, they also give ma'amarei Chazal. Whatever they don't bring, he brings. He brings whatever they missed. All the makomot, the mitrashim, the Zohars, the everything. Where it goes from here, we'll see that... I mean, like, you know, all the... Huh? I'll look it up. Maybe Reb Chaim Kanievsky has an answer. I'll look it up. I have it on the Rambam. It's called Kiryat Melech. One sefer, Kiryat Melech, everywhere the Rambam. It tells you where everywhere the Rambam comes from, Chumash, the Torah. Kiryat Melech it's called. No, but some places that the... No, wherever the Kesef Mishneh left out. I mean, he's not going to bring what the Kesef Mishneh brought. He brings whatever was left out. Yeah, but it's a whole sefer. It's a whole Kiryat Melech, it's called. All right, we'll see. Shelo dibra ella b'Achia asher avtoken. Afshar v'gitla birkav, v'siknah la atzmah l'hatzilo min hayam. V'hi lo dibra bignuto. She didn't even speak bad about him. Ela mah sheshivatah oto l'shem Neviim. That's the shita of the Rambam. The shita of the Rambam is that she never said bad about him. All she said, 'Agam banu diber Hashem.' We're just... we're also. Why is he greater than us? V'lo dibra b'fanav sheyevosh. He didn't speak before him that she get embarrassed. V'lo bifnei rabim, rak beinah l'vein Achia HaKadosh b'tzinah, like you go to a rav. She discussed with him, Aaron, because Aaron was a rav, not because she wanted to embarrass him. So she didn't do it b'fanav. She didn't do it bifnei rabim. Rak beinah l'vein Achia HaKadosh b'tzinah. V'hu lo hikpid al dvarim, and he wasn't even makpid. Moshe, shene'emar, 'Vayishma Moshe vayeitav b'einav.' Af al pi ken, lo ha'ilah kol ma'aseh hatovim. And even all this, the ma'asim tovim that she did, after everything we just said, and all together with the ma'asim tovim that she had, all this didn't help her. V'ne'enshah b'tzara. She got punished with tzaraat. Kal vachomer l'sha'ar bnei adam hamatipshim, hamarbim u'medaberim gedolot v'niflaot al chaveireihem. How much more for sure stupid people who say stupid things about their friends. Shemadayan shu'al zeh me'od, and this is what? This is not say. Okay. Yeah. יש שתי אנשים שמדברים על מישהו שידוע שהוא לא טוב, כזה עניין. מה שידוע אין לשון הרע. מה שידוע אין לשון הרע, אם הוא לא מתכוון לבזות אותו. In other words, if my kavanah is not to say, Well, he's the terrible guy, hey, סתם אני מספר סיפור מה שקרה לי בעיתון. אני קראתי בעיתון שחיים גנב כספים. זה לא לשון הרע, זה ידוע. אבל אם אני אומר, תשמע, חיים הזה, הוא...

Is that ...? Huh? Nothing, not even anything. No, he said like you ... If that's the reason, but who says that's the reason? I stopped you. You read what happened in the papers today. To say what happened in the papers ... What does it mean? But let's say it's not ... just two people know this. Then it's assur. They're both just talking between them. Then it's assur. If they themselves both know it. Yeah, they know it. What about apiklasa? Apiklasa, he's talking about a different case. He asked you a question. Let's say I know and you know, but nobody else knows. So maybe it's not lashon hara; we both know it. Apiklasa is something else. Apiklasa means if I say something in front of three people, then it's not lashon hara anymore because then everybody will know about it. That's something else. This is two people. It's a good question. Maybe it's not lashon hara that we know already, huh? But maybe somebody ... apiklata, they will know, everyone else will know. That's apiklasa. But these people, when they tell someone else, it's also lashon hara, no? Apiklasa means when something is said in front of three people. Already said. Said. It was said in front of three people, meaning it's out. That's what it means. So to repeat, it's like the newspaper, because the newspaper people know about it. But maybe somebody doesn't know. They know, people know. Apiklasa means it's out. All right, we'll learn that halachah of apiklasa. We'll learn it. ... Mistama is mutar. Im ani lo marbeh u'mosif u'mechabed atzmi bazeh ... I mean, you have to make sure you don't have all the bad middot. Mistama, I'm misaper. ... Just without. No, you'll have this discussion. Why should— I'm saying it's lashon hara. If one somebody knows something, it's lashon hara. To come, amifursamot is not lashon hara. Make sure, make sure, make sure that you're not being mosif, and make sure you're not trying to be mechabed yourself with it, and make sure you're not making... That's bizayon talmidei chachamim. That's something else. That's something else. That's klal u'prat klal. That's something else. Okay, now. Oh, so let me tell you something. They just came out with a new volume, Einei Yisrael, volume four. You saw that? You saw? I tell you, yeah. So they have a lot of things in there that I gave them. So over there it says one of the things is from my father's sefer. No, the main thing it doesn't say. He brings you down. That's the main thing. That's the main thing for you. For me it's not the main thing. I promise you it's not the main thing. The main thing is what it says. It's not that he brings you down. Here, if you take a look, my father brings down in Damat Sefer Orach Chaim that the Chafetz Chaim used to say that, you see this person's onesh? This was midah keneged midah of something else ben adam l'chaveiro that the person did. Wow. No, I think both. Yeah, first of all, what is ruach hakodesh? You have to know, ruach hakodesh is. Ruach hakodesh does not mean that a light, you know, like goyim choshvim, you know, and God talks to... you know what I mean? The person is mechaven al ha'emet. HaKadosh Baruch Hu puts in the person's mind the koach l'chaven al ha'emet. That's ruach hakodesh. Rashi, Rambam, you think the malach came and... the Rambam... Huh? I believe me, I didn't see it. Not as much as most guys. Yeah, it's right here. Come here, who wants to read it? You'll read it inside. Here you go. Hakdamah to Orach Chaim, right here. And they printed the me'orei Yisrael. They just brought it down. Here it is. U'voto ha'et. Who wants to read it? Read it carefully, slowly, here. I'll tell you what the Chafetz Chaim tried to bring out, and then you'll understand what he writes here. One second, one second. The onesh of ben adam laMakom is not in this world. The mishpat is really over there. The mishpa, ben adam lamakom, said the Chafetz Chaim, is really over there. Yom Kippur, the ikar mishpat is... and he's right if you think about it. Why? Because there are three mishpatim a person has. So if you have mishpat every Yom Kippur, then what's the mishpat of lachar moto? So the Chafetz Chaim learned. It's not so clear. The Rishonim argue about it. The truth is, maybe next year Rosh Hashanah we'll talk about it. Next year Rosh Hashanah we'll discuss what are the differences, the different mishpatim. B'kitzur, there's one mishpat Yom Kippur, there's one mishpat lachar moto of ben adam, and then there's a mishpat latid lavo, Mashiach will come. And there's a machlokes.

Talk to Sholem what each mishpat is for. Because you have— I mean, ... if you give mishpat on Yom Kippur, let's say a guy dies the day after Yom Kippur, so there's no mishpat when he comes to Shamayim. I mean, what happens if the Brisker Rav died on Yom Kippur? The Brisker Rav died on Yom Kippur. They say over, the Gemara says if someone dies on Yom Kippur, it's a siman ra, it's a bad sign. It depends when, before chatzos or after. After. So a person dies before, it's a bad sign. He died before? He died before. Brisker Rav died on Yom Kippur by night. So they came to ask Reb Berel, the son. He already said, You don't know, but if you know that he's a tzaddik... A little bit better, a little bit better. He said, The Gemara says it's a siman ra. What does a siman mean? It's a sign. When you don't know something, you need a sign. But when you know for sure someone's a tzaddik, when you don't know if a person is a tzaddik or a rasha... Yeah, because they knew how to learn. You see, that comes from knowing how to learn. You see, you understand the Gemara. Gemara didn't say that it's ra. Gemara says siman ra. It's a bad sign. Meaning, when you have a safek about a person, who died on Yom Kippur before chatzos, siman ra. ... Yom Kippur, not a problem. Siman, siman ra. Okay, ... so the Chafetz Chaim held... Now, the ikar mishpat ha'adam Yom Kippur is bein adam l'chaveiro. That's why you say Tefillas Zakah. Do you say Tefillas Zakah before Ne'ilah? Zakah, it's called, that we ask mechilah for all the aveiros we do, but not asking mechilah for pratei aveiros. We have a few tefillos. We have an inyan, we have Shemoneh Esrei, Zakah, Tefillas Zakah, not Tefillas... Would you pray? You're asking... At every bracha... So the way zakah works is that first you have bein adam laMakom, ... all these things, and then it has bein adam l'chaveiro. The Chofetz Chaim was metaken to switch it around. The Chofetz Chaim held—I mean, he was metaken, decided—even though the סדר of the Tefillas Zakah is why, because what happens is people start saying it and they never finish it, because they right away say Ne'ilah, time to say Ne'ilah—not Ne'ilah, time to say Kol Nidrei, right? So they never get a chance to finish it, and he held that the ikar mishpat of Yom Kippur is bein adam l'chaveiro. So what ends up happening is, because that's the ikar of Yom Kippur according to the Chofetz Chaim. So the Chofetz Chaim held that that was the ikar of Yom Kippur, and then he would say that the mishpat, bichlal, in this world, the punishments people get in this world are from bein adam l'chaveiro, not from bein adam laMakom. ... unbelievable Chofetz Chaim, unbelievable Chofetz Chaim. No, it's unbelievable. It's chidushim atzumim. You have to... halachah v'chaveiro. You have to ask him if... I just want to finish this nekudah, I want to finish the nekudah. And he would say that whenever somebody had bid, you know, today when somebody has some bid, what do you say? Ah, his tefillin is mezuzah, you have to check his mezuzah. Chafetz Chaim would laugh at you. If it's not due to a mezuzah, it's the way you behaved to your friend, it's the way you were not nice to your parents, it's the way you're not nice to your brother. I heard a joke once. There was a conservative rabbi, and his son, one of the balabatim from the shul, started becoming more frum, and putting on... I don't remember the story exact... started becoming more frum, and, you know, one day he comes to the rabbi and he's like, I don't know, my son's becoming weird. Why is he...? So he's like, I don't know, you have to do this and that and whatever. The next day, like, he sees his son, two boxes, tefillin and two black boxes. So he comes and says, My son's become crazy, has two black boxes. So he's like, Check his mezuzah. Checking the mezuzah, yeah. Checking the mezuzah is not, you know, pshat the joke. People love to check the mezuzah. Check yourself, don't check the mezuzah. Okay, it's an inyan to check mezuzah, but the main thing is livdok et atzmecha, yeah? And I want to... I want you to remember, because it's a big yesod. The Meir Yisrael brings it down, it's a big yesod. Read it, okay, now read, here.

You take a look. The new siddurim have this point. He says, they bring down the new siddurim, al פי החפץ חיים צריכים לשנות הסדר. It says, it brings it down the old way. The ikar mishpat of Kippur is ... That's what a person does. When a person comes, ... Let me tell you, it's almost impossible, because it's— I want to tell you a hadgah kach. I want to teach you something, you ready? And then this will stop. I want to teach you something unbelievable, you hear? If someone asked you, did Yaakov Avinu do right by taking the brachot from Esav? Yes. Of course he did right. ... Esav was a rasha, a chayav. You look later on in the Gemara. The Gemara says, Vayizak ze'aka gedolah u'marah. Vayizak ze'aka gedolah u'marah means he cried a bitter cry, you hear? Years later, in Tanach we find the same lashon. You know where you find it? By Mordechai. Mordechai, Vayetze betoch ha'ir, vayiz'ak ze'aka gedolah u'marah. Same exact words. Says the Gemara, why? Because he had to be metaken for what his grandfather Yaakov took, what? From Esav. So I once asked—one second, I thought he was right. You know what the answer is? Even if you're right, mamash, you hurt Esav. Even if you're right. Yousef level. Unbelievable, no? For his level. It's not even a question of level. When you hurt somebody, there's going to be tikkun. Tikkun is necessary, no matter how right you are. So Rebbe is saying there's somewhere, sometimes you have to go that way and you'll get hurt and you make a mistake also. So maybe you shouldn't go. Let me again, just explain again. What are you saying? Maybe sometimes it's the right thing to do, and with that right thing you do have... There's nothing you can do. There needs tikkun. There's going to have to be somewhere down the line. ... tikkun. The whole yesod, especially ... the whole yesod of the world is tikkun. You do something, there's tikkunim later, years later, children later, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren — tikkun. Always tikkun. That's the tikkun. ... Unbelievable, unbelievable thing. About Mordechai. The Gemara says. The Gemara says, right, ... The Gemara says. I think it's ... You know, if you ... I'll find it in a second. We have a ... here? Which one? I'm ... You understand? ... Yes. ... went out. ... unbelievable. If a person wants to correct, but he's ... You have to be very careful. If you hurt him — no, you have to know, that's the chiyuv of a Jew. A Jew has to be able to cheshbon. I have to be tochachah, and I have to make sure. It's a big ... it's a very big nisayon. Yeah, like ... shiurim. I just, I know you have to bring Bamidbar, Bamidbar. It's not in ... No, it should be Shemos. No, but where is it? It should be Shemot. Bring me Shemot. Shemot, yeah. It's not by ... The ... is in Pesach. Shemot. I need Shemot. Torah gives us ... It's not angels. It's not angels. You want to know something? Al yedei Torah, a person can reach these levels. But he has to be ... I'm not ... Maybe it's nothing. Don't feel—listen, let me tell you something. Just because—when you feel this thing, when you see everything that you have to be, and you're not like that, and it's such a far way... Let me tell you two answers to what you're saying. מצד אחד, you should know that no one expects you. It's like a person wants to get to one place, and he knows for him to walk, it's going to take years, so he's not going to start walking. Can I be honest with you? I'll be very honest with you. That's a very, I don't want to say childish, but young way of thinking. A person has to try. מסייע גיו, מסייע דלמסייעא לא תאי, the Gemara says. You have to try. The rest is סייעתא דשמיא. The rest Hashem helps you with. You're right, על פי חשבון you can never be this, but the Rambam says you could be. There's a very famous Rambam: אדם רשות לאדם ניתן ... כמו משה רבינו. You know, the Rambam writes...

Right, Hilchos Teshuva. The Rambam says—no, you know, bring him the Rambam. Let them read it, because they think I'm lying. They think I'm a liar. No, you said, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here it is. Who wants to read? La yizak z'aka gedolah u'mora... Here it is. Z'aka gedolah u'mora, zaka achat hizik Yaakov l'Esav. Shene'emar—here, who wants to read it? Here, go. Medrash Rabbah. It's in the Gemara also here. Who's reading? Me, no? Mi kore? Z'aka gedolah u'mora. Last one. The three—he brings three Gemarot. Z'aka gedolah u'mora. I think it's more Megillah, but then he brings from the Medrash. No? Last one. Z'aka gedolah u'mora. Zaka achat hizik Yaakov l'Esav. Zaka achat hizik Yaakov l'Esav. When Yifra no b'shushan, shene'emar, Vayeitzei z'aka gedolah u'mora... she'ein vatranut lifnei HaMakom. Hashem doesn't forgive anybody. The Gemara says, payback. Whoever is... payback. Whoever... we say. ... Yaakov... ... Halacha beis. Who's reading Halacha beis? Gershon, Gershon. Halacha beis, read. Okay, we'll just learn one more Chafetz Chaim. I want to learn one more Chafetz Chaim. Go. Halacha bet, halacha bet. Nu? Go ahead, nu. ... The idiots talk like this. What do they say, you hear? Hashem decided already. What do you want from me? That's how I was born. I was born retarded. I was born rasha. What do you want from my life? Go ahead, yeah. Ein hadavar, Ken says the Rambam. Tzadik, kemo Moshe Rabbeinu. You can be a ravah yourself. There's a chance. There's still hope. Go ahead. O chacham. Who? O chacham means smart or rachman or have rachmanut? What do you mean? My nature is to be mean. You made yourself mean. Don't talk nonsense. Okay, this is what he says. The kid says, first has the ability to change all his middot, and to be chacham, as great as Moshe Rabbeinu. Let's finish. We do fine. That's not true. So what's the answer? What's the answer? The Rambam wasn't crazy. What's the Rambam talking about, nu? You know what the answer is? Don't chanun v'chaser min hakovetz mamarim answers. You can be keh, but not Moshe. No one's telling you to be Moshe. Tzadik k'Moshe. What is Moshe? Moshe did bishleimut his tachlit in olam hazeh. What do you yield? It's pasuk. Lo kam k'Moshe Navi, it's a pasuk. It's a pasuk, lo kam k'Moshe. The answer is very simple: lo kam ba'avah v'lo ba'yirah. What does the Rambam mean then? The Rambam means you could be as great as Moshe. What was Moshe? He fulfilled his tachlit bishleimus; you could also fulfill. That's shot as great as Moshe. Okay, let's finish. You know what? Let's stop. Gam mitzvat aseh v'ahavta... shenitztavinu bazeh la'ehov amon chaveiro k'mo shehu chas al atzmo. A person has to care about the money of his friend like he cares about his own money. V'lachus al kvod chaveiro, ul'saper bishvacho, k'mo shehu chosesh al kvod atzmo. So so too, you have to care about the kavod of your friend. Would you like people speaking lashon hara about you? No. No? So you shouldn't do that about other people too. What? I can't hear, what?

That's right. That's right. The same way you don't want people ruining your coat, make sure you don't ruin other people's coats. For example, a lot of people, yeah, they come into a house, right, and their feet are all wet, all wet from the snow. So instead of cleaning your feet first, what do you do? You walk into the house. You're making his carpet dirty. Would you like someone to do it to you? Would you like? No. So it's over. I know what happened. That's why I brought it up. V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. But if let's say... same thing. So from here it's shlili for sure. It could be even more. Shlili is definite. The question is, is it more also? It's definitely... The question is, is it more? So he doesn't talk about more. He doesn't talk about it. But definitely shlili it is. There's no kufi. Huh? Okay, now. ... al chavero, o ha'mekabel afilu davar emet. You see, even the mekabel is asur. Why? Because the same way you wouldn't want other people to mekabel lashon hara about you, what are you hoping? You're hoping what? Yourself, you hope that what? That the person would say, I don't want to listen. So if you want other people to what? Not to mekabel lashon hara about you, so so too you shouldn't what? Be mekabel lashon about them. Afilu davar emet. Nir'eh ba'alil she'eino ohev klal, because it comes out like you don't love the guy. ... lokol adam yodea et nigei atzmo. Beautiful Chafetz Chaim. Listen to the Chafetz Chaim. Every person knows he has chesronot. Deep down, deep down, everybody knows. Deep down, every person knows what's wrong with him, right? Right, Kaykov? Everybody knows what's wrong with him, right? V'af al pi ken, אינו רוצה משום אופן שחברו ידע מזה. You definitely don't want your friend to know about it, right? Hide it, right? You hide it. You don't want him to know. Af echad me'elef, right? Even one from a thousand. Meaning, even one out of the thousand things you have no good by you, you don't even want him to know one bad thing by you. V'af im eino shenoda me'at michesronotav, and even if it sometimes happens that he does know a little bit, etzel chaveiro, וחברו הולך ומספר את זה לאנשים, and his friend goes and tells this to other people. V'af al pi ken, הוא אומר ומצפה הלוואי שיותר השם שלא יקבלו את דבריו ולא יאמינו לו. You hope, Oh, I wish nobody listens to him, right? הכל כדי שלא יתחזק ביניהם לאדם שאינו הגון. Why? Because the person doesn't want to look, like, doesn't want to look bad in front of people's eyes. Unbelievable thing, if you think about it. A person's whole life, he works not that people should look bad. It's an unbelievable thing, think about it. It's also matanah, but it's also chesronot. I'm saying, but it's— But you see this nekudah, says the Chafetz Chaim. A person hides all his weaknesses. People shouldn't look bad at him. So he says like this: ואף דהוא יודע בעצמו הרבה והרבה בעוונות, יותר ממה שסיפר חברו עליו. Even though he knows more. He knows that whatever your friend said is nothing compared to what really is. You know, your friend said what? You're a batlan, believe me, he knows. You know about yourself that you're a million times worse than that. אף על פי כן, אינו להבלש, ואוהב את עצמו. נדחה הכל מחמת זה. But since you love yourself, you don't want this. It's true, but the fact is you still don't want it. No matter how great you are, and no matter how much you don't care about yourself, one thing you care about: you don't want people saying bad things about you. No, the metzius of ahavat atzmo. When you love yourself, that's what you want. You don't want people saying bad about you. So therefore he's trying to say—what do I mean, what's bad? That what? Which part? Oh no, it's bad because sometimes a person, all he does is hides himself. All he looks is about how other people see him, that's all. That's good. That's a good thing, that all a person lives for is how people look at him. It's only b'di'eved. It's only b'di'eved, not a lechatchila. How can it be good? It's not the yesod v'shoresh avodah. The yesod v'shoresh avodah is to be for Hashem. Why is it ganav worse than a gazlan? Why is a ganav worse? Because he's scared of the people more than Hashem, of course.

I want to finish now. Beautiful. Listen to what the Chofetz Chaim says. I love this. I love the Chofetz Chaim. He knew how to learn psukim simple. There's no kofel. Beautiful. Why did the Torah have to tell us bad about Noach? Noach got drunk. Why would the Torah have to tell us about that? He says like this: Why? They try to cover over the bizayon of their father. What happened? They got blessed, l'dor dorot. That's why he says the Torah. He said, like this: Meaning, a person should want to cover over the bizayon of his friend the same way he wants his bizayon covered over. Then says Chafetz Chaim, with this we understand why the Torah had to bring me the story of Noach. I had to know the story of Noach. Why is it so important to know? Why do I have to know that Noach got drunk? That's a thing to write in the Torah. If you were writing a book about somebody, let's say you write a book about your grandfather, right? Tzadikim book. So you write that, you know, one time this tzaddik, you know, couldn't control himself, and he got drunk. I mean, why would you write that? What would you do? You would cover it over, right? Why is it important, says the Torah? Why do we have to learn? What do we have to learn from it? Says the Chofetz Chaim, we learn a big yesod: not that Noach got drunk. That's not important. Hagam we learn a lot from Noach getting drunk also. What do we learn from Noach getting drunk? Vayachel ha'adam, right? Ish ha'adam, right? The first thing he did was what? Karah. What do we see from here? That if a person's first thing that he thinks about is what? Vodka. Vodka. What's going to happen? He'll end up being a drunk. But HaKadosh Baruch Hu, Chofetz Chaim says, there's a different reason. What's the reason? To see that Cham, who didn't want to cover over the bizayon of his father, what happened? He got punished. Shem and Yefet, who tried to cover the bizayon of his father, what happened? HaKadosh Baruch Hu gave them bracha for l'dorei dorot. A person should be zahir to cover over the bizayon of his friend. So how was Noach covered over? Who? Cham didn't; he got punished, and Shem and Yefet, they got rewarded. How did he get rewarded? They got bracha. Yafet, v'yitken Elokim l'Yefet, v'yishkon b'ohalei Shem. Tremendous bracha. Tremendous bracha all through. Why do we have Torah? Shem, because of this. Yeah, but Amalek... Okay, that's not... He got bracha. Shem also was Amalek. Shem also was Amalek. You have to... l'Yefet v'yishkon b'ohalei Shem. They got bracha, that eventually his children will have in the Torah also, chelek in the Torah too. Oh, Yefet? Yefet, because the writing. Okay, Rabosai, we have a big Chumash shiur ahead of us. What about? B'mitzvat aseh, gimel, aseh gimel. U'lefa'amim over navi b'mitzvat aseh d'vetzedek tishpot amitecha. B'tzedek — righteousness — you should judge your friend, here. Anachnu yeshalem minhag acher b'zeh, lafuch. Kegon shera'ah et chaveiro, kavshut. Kegon shera'ah et chaveiro shediber o asah ma'aseh. He saw his friend, shediber o asah ma'aseh, here. He spoke, or he did something. Yesh b'davar hazeh lishpoto l'tzad hatov u'l'tzad hazechut. And you can always judge this person for good or for bad. Eilu im hu ish beynoni, im v'eino tzaddik, here. A person say, tzaddik, of course you have to judge him good. Chidush is even if he's ish beynoni. You underline those words in the Chofetz Chaim, afilu hu ish beynoni, here. Person always says, him?

Of course, tzaddikim ... even if he's just ... och, mashma rasha ... and that's very important. The Rashi ... A person does always have aveiros. What are you going to say? Well, I ... and he's sogeret einayim. You know, a guy is big, you know what I'm saying, and he's supposed to tell b'tzedek. You know what that's called? Chassid shoteh. To take a rasha and say, lo kach garua, that's assur. He's supposed to say, mistama hu asa b'tzedek, mistama he meant right. ... b'mitzvat aseh azu ladun oto l'kaf zechut. You hear? ... al פי Torah ... l'kaf zechut. V'im hu ish yarei Elokim, if this person is a yarei Elokim, ... לדון אותו לכף זכות, גם כי קרוב ונותה יותר דבר לכף חובה מלכף זכות. You see a person with a long white beard and a big hat. He walks into McDonald's, you hear, and he orders a burger. What do you say? You say, or you say no. Mistama what? Mistama he bought the burger for a guy, yeah? And the reason is because what? Because the guy, chaveres, is he helped out the Jew or something, so he bought him a burger. Hagam ze mistama asur anyway, because ... hana'ah, me'achalot asurot, and mistama it's also hana'ah, tovat hana'ah. But whatever, let's say you see a big Rosh Yeshiva like Avraham Yitzchak walking into a movie theater. What are you gonna say? What are you gonna say? There you go. You have to be dan l'kaf zechut, that he's dragging out other people from the place. Ah, he's standing there ... I'm just kidding. Now, so what happened? ... l'kaf zechut, l'kaf zechut, l'kaf zechut. Now, I want to tell you a beautiful thing. So here, this is the halacha. You should remember this. Listen here. If he's tzaddik, what happens? If he's tzaddik, what happens? You have to be dan l'kaf zechut even if it's karov levadai that he's doing wrong, even if it's karov levadai. Ninety-nine, it's so clear, but you have to be dan l'kaf zechut. Let's say you see a Rosh Yeshiva eating chazir. Do you have to be dan l'kaf zechut? No, because then it's vadai. Maybe it's not chazir. You're right. No, you know it's chazir. Maybe he's sick. No, no. Let's say you see a big ... you know that. Maybe sick, but maybe sick. I see a big ... Exactly. Who? What's the story with the chazon ish? What's this? Yeah, but that's normal. That's a normal kaf zechut. But obviously, if you see him doing aveirah, you see for sure, the bottom line, you see for sure you're not mechuyav to be dan l'kaf zechut. Hagah is a Gemara. The Gemara says, no, I don't know, maybe not, because you see karov, you see the words. The words of the Chafetz Chaim are noteh karov. What if it's vadai? I mean, I'm reading the words. You see, you say b'koach nefesh. Here you can say. Here you can say. Always you can say. I don't know, I don't know. Let's say you know a friend. Let's say you know it's your brother. Go to Chafetz. If you know, you know. If you know, you know. If he's what, tzaddik, you're not mechuyav laduno to l'kaf zechut. If he's tzaddik and it's 100%, for sure, you know for sure, there's nothing to be doubtful, you don't have to say, 'Soger einayim.' You know, my grandfather used to say, the Chafetz Chaim, Tamim tihyeh im Hashem Elokecha, tamim tihyeh. Im Hashem, not to be shoteh, person beshoteh, לא מאמין, לא צריך להאמין. That's lashon hara, that's something else. But you yourself, you yourself, should you believe what you saw? The answer is like this: if it's vadai, vadai, vadai, vadai, you know what the halacha is, you can believe it. It was aveirah. But I don't know why he doesn't bring this down. The Gemara says, afilu ra'ita talmid chacham sheasa aveirah balayla, al taharer acharav balayla. Why? Shema— then the Gemara says, vadai asa teshuvah. Then the Gemara— first Gemara says shema, then the Gemara says no, really vadai asa teshuvah. Same thing, whatever. Main thing is, when a talmid chacham does aveirah, the next day you can be sure already that what? Clean. Clean, right? So what's the pshat? You're allowed to believe he did the aveirah, but you have to believe also that he did teshuvah. That's the kaf zechut. See, that is the kapshut, that he did teshuva. You understand? Gershon, you with me? So if I ask you when tzaddik is vadai, you...

So for sure he did aveirah. What's the halacha? You're allowed to believe he did it, but the kaf zechus is to believe that he did teshuvah. See? The kaf zechus is to believe that he did teshuvah. But if it's adam beinoni — meaning he did it. That's right, but he did teshuvah. That's the kaf zechus. That's the shevach of the vadai as teshuvah. The beinoni, I'm chayiv to think he did teshuvah, but it depends. If it's karov levadai that he did the aveirah, you could choshesh that he did the aveirah. But if it's not karov levadai — what? No, that's lashon hara. Lashon hara, betzedek, kushya has nothing to do with teshuvah. There's no issur. If you think he's a tzaddik and you see him doing, for example — you think he's a tzaddik, that means he made a mistake. Now, I want to tell you — we'll finish the halacha, and then I want to tell you a beautiful story of Reb Aryeh Levine. This story made a big roshim. Reb Aryeh Levine. You never heard of Reb Aryeh Levine? Never heard. Stop right here. Who is this? Stop right here. Reb Aryeh Levine just happens to be the father-in-law of Reb Elyashiv, and also just happens to be the grandfather-in-law of Reb Chaim Kanievsky, and many other gedolim as well. Everybody — he was zoche to a lot of children and grandchildren, talmidei chachamim. He himself was not such a big talmid chacham. What do you mean not such a big talmid chacham? He wasn't — he's not like Reb Elyashiv, he's not gaon atzum, but he was a tzaddik yesod olam. He was something like a super. Ben Adam L'chaveiro. His big thing was Ben Adam L'chaveiro. He used to go—first, he was a big baal regesh, big baal lev, beautiful heart, very beautiful person. He would go to the hospitals to visit all the cholim, the soldiers when they used to get wounded. He used to go and be with them and talk to them. As a matter of fact, there was a hospital of lepers in Eretz Yisrael. Today we don't hear of it. But they had it in Samarkand, metzora'im, they had it. You cannot hear of it. Not tzaraas of the Torah—leprosy, that the limbs fall off, leprosy, not tzaraas of the Torah. All the aveilim fall off. Yeah. Hillel, Hillel. Now listen carefully, yeah? Hillel, who? Hillel. Now listen carefully, yeah? Come, come. All right, see a guy by the window, frozen. Mikurar, you know? Atmarozhne, there you go. Now listen carefully, here. Listen good, listen, you hear? He was a—there was a hospital of lepers. You hear? Tishma, I want you to hear two stories, okay? It's not that funny, okay? Shh. Listen, yeah? He should though discuss it with somebody. You know what I mean? Now listen carefully. Listen good. Listen, listen good. Listen. The kids saw Rabbi Levine. There was a hospital for lepers. Nobody wanted to go near it because the machla medabeket. If you catch the... It's tremendous. You know, they... in neighbor that... It's called... In... also. People lived there because of the medabeket. You know, fingers, hands, feet. It's not tzaraas of the Torah. It's tzaraas leprosy. They have it in Africa today. No, kids. It's real machla, terrible machla, because they're medabeket, yeah? You want to know the teshuvah talk about? Rav Avadi has a teshuvah about it. Rav Moshe has a teshuvah about it. Tefillin of such people, you're supposed to burn them. What are you supposed to do with them? The whole problem. What do you do with tefillin? It's a sickness. It's medabeket. It catches. It's very, very contagious. Today I think they have something like this. It's called the Ebola virus. Ebola virus. They have it today. It's a very, very big problem. They have it in America. Not curable. Not only not curable, anybody comes in contact with it, right away, within 24 hours, ...

Ebola. It's called the, not Ebola, it's called Ebola virus. There we go, not Ebola, Ebola. Ebola virus, Ebola. Have you sketched it like that? The nurses who take care of these cholim die right away. They couldn't get nurses to take care of them. The kids said there was a whole hospital for mitzoraim. Rabbi Levi used to go visit the cholim like nothing, like nothing, couldn't care less. He went to visit cholim, nothing ever happened to him. Nothing ever happened. He used to go visit the cholim. It's a unbelievable story. He didn't live a million years, he lived 20 years ago. He used to go visit the cholim. Take his book, it was history. He used to go every week to visit the mitzoraim. He went to visit them, nothing ever happened. Nothing ever happened. He used to go to the jails. You know, the British, before Eretz Yisrael, we had Eretz Yisrael, the British used to take young kids and throw them in jail for years. He used to go visit them, mechazek אותם, they should be mechazek in teshuvah. It's tremendous tzaddik, tremendous, tremendous tzaddik. I'll tell you three stories about him, three stories, ready? Three beautiful stories, and one of them has to do with the tzedek, ... Very important, you should know. To know who Rabbi Levi was is to know what a ben adam l'chaveiro he was. He was, he was, he was a... Levi? Rabbi Levi. Levi. Tremendous tzaddik, tremendous. The name of his book is A Tzaddik in Our Time. A tzaddik in Yerushalayim, they used to call him. He's a tremendous tzaddik, yeah? So let me tell you, let me tell you what type of person. One time, he used to take care of all the cholim, that was his big thing, you know, the cholim. So one time... There was a certain person that went to visit an old age home, where they keep old people. So Rabbi Levine says to him, Do me a favor, go to the nurses. Tell the nurses. He told a certain person that went to visit his father in the nursing home, right, an old age home. Tell the nurses that this guy's cousin, Aryeh Levine, ... Tell the nurses that. A person went, and he asked the people around, who knew him, since when is this guy's cousin Rabbi Aryeh Levine? It was not his cousin. Let me tell you what happened. He used to go visit. There's a custom, this terrible thing, the achayot, the nurses, they treat the old people very bad, especially when they know that there's no family. When there's no family, no children who come to find out about them, so they treat you like a piece of meat. You know, they grab you, eat you, they scream at you. So Rabbi Levine once went and he saw the way they were treating this person. So he walked over to the nurse and said, How do you treat my cousin like this? They should always think sheyesh lo ben mishpacha, that they should be careful with him. And he always used to send messages to the achayot that I'm asking, the cousin is asking about the choleh. Like this, they should always be afraid to treat him like a piece of garbage. That's the cheshbonot of chesed that this person had. He was unbelievable. There's another beautiful, beautiful story. He used to cry a lot about ... the soldiers, the chayalim shenaflu, zayach. It hurt him very much. Tremendous. He never read ... history. It's amazing. The book, it's unbelievable. Yecholim, kol daf, kol daf, yecholim is kot, like. Unbelievable story. They have it in Hebrew, they have it in English. A tzaddik in our time by Simcha Raz. It's a Feldheim book. Haflah, Feldheim book. Unbelievable book. Haflah, fellah, what this person was. You should buy it. You should buy it and read it. It's an unbelievable book. Here's, listen what happened. Listen. So one time there was a woman, her husband was killed. Her husband was a chayal, he was killed. Rav Aryeh Levine, he went to Menachem Avel, went to Menachem Avel. So he knocks on the door. Before the woman had a chance to come to the door, the lady, Rav Aryeh Levine broke down. He couldn't take the tzaar. He went to Menachem Avel, a woman who lost her husband, one of the chayalim. He was so בצער that he started to cry, that he didn't want to—she should see him that way, so he quickly left. Three, four days in a row he came to the house and he couldn't be there, he left right away.

Listen to the story. It's a unbelievable story. Finally, she wanted to—who keeps on knocking, and the door running away, so she waited by the door. She knew at ten o'clock every day somebody comes to knock, and the door runs away. So she waited, and she opened up the door and she saw him. The kid, so he saw her, so he started to cry. He started to cry. So she was being menachem him. She was being menachem him. She had to console him that he's an olam haba, and it's unbelievable story. He's an olam haba, and he died as a yid with kiddush Hashem. So she felt so good from being menachem him that she thanked him, that he thanked her. That's her vayelev. That's her vayelev. They used to call him the rav of the Beit Tzohar. That's what they used to call, the rav of the jails. He used to go to all the jails. Now let me tell you the last story, and this is no ... I'll tell you just what kind of a person—give me another story. He has in ... Rabbi Eliyashiv, right? He taught his daughters kavod for the husband, talmid chacham. Unbelievable. What? They're not allowed to wash the floors. They're not allowed to wash the floors when the husbands are at home learning. Why? Because it's going to cause a little bit of tircha. The house has to be, when they come home, the house has to be sheket, clean, everything. Like this, they come, they learn, and then they go back home to wherever they have to go back. That's the kavod habaal, towards his daughters, that he was zoche to. בקיצור, let me tell you the end of this last story. It was by Levaya, it was by Levaya of somebody, a friend of Reb Aryeh Levine, or a talmid, or whatever it was. He was also in a heichal yeshiva, Etz Chaim, the famous Etz Chaim yeshiva. He was the menahel for the little kids, for the little children, yeah. בקיצור, what happened was, they went to a levaya. In the middle of the levaya, one of the people of the levaya stops, walks away from the levaya, and he walks into a store. You know, they were going, as they were going to the levaya, to bury the person, he walks into a store של עציצים. You know what עציצים are? Atzitz, plants. Atzitz plants. A plant, a house plant. Now, today we don't have it so much, but in the old days, especially in Eretz Yisrael, that was the furniture. See, today you want furniture, you go out, you buy it. In Russia it was furniture, because today you want furniture, you know what you buy? You buy a thousand-dollar bookcase, right? You didn't have that in Europe. What did they do? You started buying atzitzim, nice plants for the house. So in the middle of the levaya, he sees this person buying an atzitz. Middle of the levaya. That's what you think about, buying atzitz? Reb Aryeh Levine was bothered that this person went to buy an atzitz. He was thinking, he should have said, I'm going to tell him something. So he walks over to him, he says to him, שְׁטִילע. ... לא מצאת לזמן, רק באמצע לקנות עציץ בשביל הבית? He says, Rebbe, you don't understand. The atzitz is not bishvil habayit. What's the atzitz? Listen to a story. אני תמיד מבקר חולה. I have a bachur choleh in the hospital. The choleh yesh lo machlah medabeket. He has a disease which is very, very contagious. Hu met etmol. He died yesterday. The choleh digested. The rofim, the hospital decided they're going to take all his clothes and burn it, including his tefillin. Reb Moshe says teshuvos about it. Reb Ovadia has teshuvos about these things. Well, what do you do with the tefillin with such people? They want to burn it. Chok hamedinah. It's the law of the land. That's what you have to do. So I begged the rofeh, he should at least give me the tefillin. Give me the tefillin. Chok hamedinah. What should he do? He doesn't want to lose his job. If he gives me the tefillin, he's going against the law of the hospital. See, I finally meshachnea him. I finally convinced him that we'll do a trick. What will be the trick? I'll come the next day, so to speak, to visit the family that's taking the met out, right, as they take. I'll come with an atzitz, because an atzitz is something you bring, let's say flowers to a met. In the atzitz I'll hide the tefillin, and with this I'll leave and I'll go out, and they won't see me taking the tefillin out of the hospital. So on one hand, it looked like a terrible story. ... Now you know the true story. Tzadik, right? ... said, he thanks HaKadosh Baruch Hu that he asked him, because like this he would have lived his whole...

Life. Thinking, ... His whole life, you see what it means. ... A person could take tzidkus. A person was a tzaddik. Not only big — nobody would have done it. Who would have taken tefillin shel adam sheyesh lo machlokes? Who would even think about it? People would say, I don't want to touch it. If he wouldn't have known, he would have fought all his life that this guy is... Says Rabbi, that taught him a bitul shel haTorah, what Torah is so right, that something that could be so tzaddik, I can judge him l'kaf zchus. Says the Torah, judge l'kaf zchus. That's the mitzvah of b'tzedek tishpot amisecha. ... The person that heard it, he's, Yeah, yeah, I know he's that type of guy. I know. ... You tell a guy lashon hara, you know what he said? Yeah, yeah, I know. Don't have to tell me. Don't tell me. I know. I know what type of guy he is. What do you oiver? You oiver b'tzedek tishpot amisecha, here, the mekabel and the mesaper. If they don't do it, ... oiver in this mitzvah. Now, I want everybody to go over the chavrusas. Eleven. You know, when I look at you, right, and I see you happy, I'm happy. It's my responsibility to make sure everybody's happy. Let's say I look be'etzem. It's a chaimov thinks to himself, Why is this so upsetting? What did I do, maasit? And then he's be'etzem. And when he's be'etzem, the ner looks at him and goes, You see, chaimov, he usually looks terrible. Now היום looks really bad. Yeah? Yeah? And all of a sudden, Yitzchak says, What's going on? I'm telling you. Oh, he must be angry at me about these things that I did. He must be angry at me, things that I did, yeah? So because I was in a bad mood, yeah? Hu meshuga'yon, hu meshuga'yon, hu meshuga'yon. Kulam meshuga'yim hayom. Why? Because I didn't come to ... yeah? That's the whole story, right? ... Whatever, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, whatever the story is, yeah? So because of what happened, so because of that, all the rabbim is crazy because of me, yeah? ... No, it's see inside with him. It's a rishut harabim means it's like putting a stone in front of— you know what? Put a hole in the ground. Everybody's going to fall into it. Everybody falls into it. It's rishut harabim. More than that, you're in the rabim, you're in the park. I just start swinging a bat in the rabim. You're going to hit somebody. Of course, you're going to be hurting somebody. Somebody's going to be upset. He'll be upset. He'll be upset. And what's going to be the bottom line? He'll cool. So you have to always be what? B'simcha atzumah. Yosef, let's go. Not the end of the world. Come on. I'm telling you, whatever it is, it's not the end of the world, I promise. We'll survive. We'll make it. We'll become one of the Gedolei Yisrael. Either way. Amen. Trust, trust. We'll come ... with Yisrael. Come. B'simcha, come, b'simcha. Let's go. Ready? Baba, baba. נכון? Whatever I say, I have to ask him about the right. It's my ... my ... Okay, let's go live. You're supposed to go there for Shabbat, Shabbos Chanukah. You're supposed to go there. The whole family is supposed to come together Shabbos Chanukah. So ten minutes before I left, my mother calls.