Asarah B’Teves: Yosef’s Sensitivity, Kavod HaBriyos, and the Path to Rebuilding the Beis HaMikdash

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. B'ezras Hashem, we'll speak a little bit, בעשרה בטבת. Before we start the shiur, I'd like to bring out two ha'aros. The first thing is, letters went out to all the rabbanim, all the shuls, all the yeshivos. I got a letter. I have to daven for the Mashiach. Haramatzio Chaim b'netel. So the shiur should be l'refuah shleimah for the Mashiach, sheyimaher yam, sheyiz gezunt. I also would like to begin by saying that last week I said something in the shiur which I was mistaken. Because of that, I feel that before we begin the shiur, I would like to correct it. I made a mistake. A Yid was me'orer to me. We were asking, what's the chiluk between zon, u'mefarnes, u'meichin mazon l'chol b'riosav? What are the three things? What is zon, what is mefarnes, and what is meichin mazon? So we said a shiur last week on meichin mazon, but the Yid, tayere Yid, he comes every week to the shiur, he was me'orer that mefarnes is on begadim. It's clothing. Zon is food, and mefarnes is begadim. And I was me'orer to him that I didn't understand that that should be the pshat, because we're talking about benching, and benching is about food. It's a little out of context. That mefarnes should be the clothing. I made a mistake because the goyin in Imrei Noam, taka says, zanu, mefarnes; mefarnes is clothing. So I made the mistake. The Yid was right; he was mechaven to a goyin. I felt important that I should bring this out before we begin the shiur. Asarah b'Teves. What is Asarah b'Teves? We know that Nevuchadnetzar besieged Yerushalayim. The Rambam brings it lahalacha, besiege Yerushalayim. But there's something interesting about Asarah b'Teves, which is a chumra over all the other taaniyos. The Avudraham, it's a rishon, the Beis Yosef quotes him. It's an Avudraham in Tefillas HaTaaniyos. The Beis Yosef in Orach Chaim siman taf-kuf-nun brings the Avudraham that there's something special about Asarah b'Teves, and that is that if Asarah b'Teves falls out on Shabbos, even though it can't because the calendar works out that it doesn't happen, but if it would have fallen out on Shabbos, we would fast Asarah b'Teves even on Shabbos. And this is different than all other taaniyos, even Tisha B'Av. We doicheh, we doicheh Tisha B'Av. Asarah b'Teves, we don't push it off. It's based on a pasuk, tzom l'cha ben adam, b'etzem hayom hazeh, this day. Mark this day on the calendar, something unique about Asarah b'Teves, that no matter what day it falls out on, if it means even if it falls out on Shabbos, we fast even on Shabbos. Of course, there's a lot of discussion why. Why is Asarah b'Teves different than all other taanis? Mekanchnitz zayn erger vi Tisha B'Av. It's worse than Tisha B'Av. Tisha B'Av, we matcheh, right? We push it off. Ma she'ein kein Asarah b'Teves, we would fast even on Shabbos if it would have fallen out on Shabbos. So there's yeshiva sheteirah from the Heilige Brisker Rav, Betzem hayom hazeh. It's a din in the yom. The other ones are din in the chodesh, the month. It's the Tzom Asiri, the Tzom Revi'i. These are all the month, and therefore it could be pushed off a day earlier, a day later. It doesn't have to be the specific date. Ma she'ein kein here is ksiv lecha, ben adam ksiv lecha b'etzem hayom hazeh. Brisker Torah from the Heilige Brisker Rav. It's from Reb Chaim gaon. There's an interesting Yaaros Dvash. The Yaaros Dvash says pshat: why is it that this taanis is different? Zogt the Yaaros...

In chelek aleph, derush beis, page lamed beis, and the She'eilos Uteshuvos, She'eilos Uteshuvos, madurah kama, Orach Chaim siman kuf ayin tes says the same pshat, that the difference is techilas haparanius, the beginning, the beginning of the punishments. It started, and the start is worse than anything else. Techilas haparanius. Azoi zogt der Yaaros Dvash, sheboi samach Melech Bavel al Yerushalayim, which means he surrounded. This was the beginning of all the tzaros to come, so the beginning is much worse. Techilas haparanius, and therefore we would fast on Asarah b'Teves regardless, even if it fell out on Shabbos. The Yaaros Dvash is me'orer that l'choira, in the lashon of the pasuk it comes last: Tzom harevii, tzom hachamishi, tzom hashvii, and tzom ha'asiri. Tzom ha'asiri is this, it's the tzom ha'asiri. So the question is, why is it that it's at the end? If it's rosh l'chol haparanius, it should have been mentioned in the beginning of the pasuk, when the pasuk mentions all the other tzamos, all the other tzomos: tzom harevii, tzom hachamishi, tzom ha'asiri. Why is tzom ha'asiri ba'achronah? So the emes is the Gemara, the Gemara in Rosh Hashanah, daf yud ches amud beis, says that the truth is it should have been first. Aval pshat is, hischil b'revii, v'gam ba'asiri, aval l'olam tzom ha'asiri shehu techilas haparanius, and the answer is, it goes according to the months. From Nissan all the way to Teves, so it's seimo asiri, so we go lefi the seder of the months, and therefore it's last. But in truth, it's really the beginning of all the tzaros, okay? So we have the pesukim, Tzamei Ravi, Tzamei Chamit, Tzamei Asiri. It's going asara b'Teves. It should have been in the beginning if it's according to the way we're explaining the beginning in the teretz is according to the months. It's seimo asiri, the last, okay. Hefsher ha'beis, I came to say a pshat. There's a meiredige Chasam Sofer. The Chasam Sofer is in Toras Moshe on his shmuzen of Zayin Adar. It also can be found in the siddur of the Chasam Sofer, in the hakdamas to the slichos of Asarah b'Teves. He says a chiddush. He says that all other taaniyos is for the past, for the tzaros that happened. Ma she'ein kein Asarah b'Teves is for the tzaros of the future. Every year, the pamalia shel maalah, the beis din of Himmel, gets together and they discuss, yavo in the Beis HaMikdash, nishba in the Beis... should we? Do they deserve it? And therefore, it's not about the past. It's about the future. The other ones are about the past. All the yesurim, all the galusim, all the problems, it's gemishpet, it's judged today. Kol mi shelo nivneh Beis HaMikdash b'yamav, k'ilu nechrav b'yamav. So today it's k'ilu nechrav. Today, if we don't get the psak from Shamayim to rebuild the Beis Hamikdash, and if it's a psak that the galusin should continue, then today is ki'ilu nechrav, zogt der Chasam Sofer. And he says that that's the pshat why we would fast even on Shabbos. A taanis chalom is different than a taanis shemeis bo aviv. Taanis shemeis bo aviv, if you fast the day that your father, aleinu, has passed away, you don't fast on Shabbos. Why should you fast on Shabbos? Mashenkein taanis chalom. If you have a bad dream, you do. Why? Because it's a tzaar of upcoming. There's a tzaar that's on its—something that you're being nisbaser, you're being told about a future tzaar that's pending. The word in English would be a pending, a tzaar that's pending. So you fast even on Shabbos. Zogt der Chasam Sofer, mimeila, we fast even on Shabbos for a tzaar of the Teves. You know, rabosai, oy vazoi, I find it to be in place.

To talk about something simple, chizuk, hisorerus, something that caused the churban habayis, something that because of it, we don't have the Beis Hamikdash nivneh biyameinu. And it's not something I say, but Chazal tell us, and therefore it's the time and the place to be me'orer, to be mischazek, to be mis'orer on the nekudah, and that is achdus bein adam l'chaveiro. If today is the day that they're going to mishpat us, if we're going to have another Beis Hamikdash in the future, so let's find out why we don't have a Beis Hamikdash, and let's work on it. You know, in sefarim that gebracht that all the churbanos and all the galuyos and all the yisurim are rooted in mechiras Yosef. I believe I once saw this in the Alshich. Recently, I know I've saw it, I've seen it also. Bnei Yissaschar brings it from the Megaleh Amukos. The Bnei Yissaschar says, Hinei kvar yadua, this is in Kislev, maamar daled, Hinei kvar yadua lecha shekol hayisurim bchol hagaluyos, all the yisurim and all the galuyos, hakol yesh bahem me'ein mechiras Yosef. It's all tied to mechiras Yosef, kemevuar kol zeh bMegaleh Amukos oifen kuf tzadi gimmel. Many sefarim have brought this. I just took out one mareh makom of the many that bring this down. Mechiras Yosef, mechiras Yosef. So avadeh, churban, yisurim, it's all tied to achdus and sinas chinam. But we all understand not to have sinas chinam, even though, of course, it's kedai to repeat it over again and over again. But I'd like to bring out a small detail in an hanhaga of where we can be mechazek ahavas chinam opposed to sinas chinam, something that we can work on from mechiras Yosef, something interesting, rabosai. You know, there's an interesting ha'arah: did Yaakov Avinu ever know about mechiras Yosef? There seems to be a machlokes rishonim if he ever knew about it. Did Yaakov Avinu go away from this world not knowing about mechiras Yosef? There's a sevara which seems to say that he did know. When the brothers came and said, Ana, sona l'pesha achecha vechatasam, that they were telling Yosef that the father said to be mochel the chet. So, I mean, obviously they were quoting the father, so that means that the father knew. And the sevara works it out that he said lifnei mosai — what's pshat lifnei mosai? He didn't get a chance to tell you himself. That's pshat al vicha tzivah lifnei mosai. He didn't get a chance. He wanted to, and he told us that in case it ever comes up, we should... Tell you to be moichel. Azei learned the sipurna, and it's mashma from the sipurna that he's working out from the pesukim that Yankev Avinu knew about mechiras Yosef. The Ramban, ki yadua, learns that he never knew about it. The Ramban says clearly, Yitachen, Yankev Avinu passed away and he did not know about mechiras Yosef. You know, it's an unbelievable thing, huh? Dovor shel peleh. Could you imagine coming down to Mitzrayim and he never once asked what happened? You know, rabosai, I want to tell you something. There's a gevaldige mekor for the Ramban. There's a psikta, which I'd like to read with the oilam. The psikta says, Hayitachen that Yosef was not around his father 24/7? He should have stood around his father. He was told, Hinei avicha choleh. Behold, your father is sick. He had to be told his father is sick? He should have been there. Should have been the first one to be by his father's side, and he had to be called, he had to be summoned, Hinei avicha choleh. I read the psikta, Rabosai, gimmel, yud: Harei kol shevacho shel Yosef shehu maflig al...

I thought Yosef was tremendous in Kibud Av Va'em, v'lo nichnas etzli b'chol sha'ah. And yet, why was he not commonly there? He should have been there on a frequent basis. So he says, a meyridike thing: shelulei sheba'u acheirim, it's mashma if others didn't come to tell him, Abba, cheila lo heyeh yodea; he wouldn't have known. Zogt the pasuk, v'lo yada ha'ach tzidko. This tells me the tzidkus of Yosef, shelo ratzah l'hisyached im aviv. He never wanted to be alone with his father, in case his father asks him, Yosef, what happened? Chadava shel Potifar. Could you imagine? He stood away years. He was longing to see his father. Oy, chas v'shalom, the tatte t'fregn Yosef, what happened? So he never was by his father. It's a Chazal, it's a Chazal, rabosai. Shelo yomru, heich asul b'chachicha, mekallem. He's afraid that they're going to curse his brothers. Amar Yosef, says Yosef, ani yodea tzidko shel aba. Kol d'varav gezeiros hein. We know that any word that Yaakov said became. He cursed Lavan—by Lavan, I'm sorry, he cursed Rachel. He said, Im asher timtza elokecha lo yichyeh, u'meis imi. Rachel died. One word. Said, in case someone taka took yirah aveidah zarah, Lavan—could you imagine? One word, look what happened. Ani ba l'omer sheyekallem. So therefore, if I come and I tell him, chas v'shalom... He might come to curse. Nimtzei simachavis kol ha'olam, shelo nivra olam el bishvil hashvatim. Lefi kach lo haya holech etzel aviv, v'chol sha. He didn't go to his father. Yeah. So we have a meirdige zach abeis. In case, chas v'shalom, a bad word would come out, so he refrained from being around his father. I want to show you something interesting also. Later on we find that when he comes to his father, Yaakov Avinu gives him a whole shmooze to bury him in Eretz Yisrael, u'kfatani bikvurasam. But he gives an introduction: Hu baderech, u'veisah lai Rachel. Rachel died. Says Rashi, why did he give the whole speech about Rachel dying and being buried b'derech אפרתה? Says Rashi, Yodea ani sheyesh b'libcha. I know that you have a taina. I know it bothers you. I know it's something that, I'm sure, this is something that you're thinking about. Hayitachen? I buried your mother on the road. I want you to know I did it al pi hagvurah, I did it al pi Ruach HaKodesh, so Yidden should be able to daven over there. What's the pshat, Yodea ani sheyesh b'libcha? How come Yosef didn't speak about it? How come Yosef didn't speak? Yosef should have came over and say, Tata, you know it bothers me. I don't understand. Hayitachen? Why did you bury my mother? Every other one gets into the me'aras hamachpeilah. Leah. Zilpah. They all get in, everybody gets in, yeah? And the mama nisht. He never spoke. What do we see from over here? The zehirus of adinus, of sensitivity, of not talking, not speaking, where it's something that needs to be kept quiet. It's something that needs to be, in a zacht, it's something which is sticky. Stay away. Zehirus, the adinus, the sensitivity. Remember, I once spoke with one of my roshei yeshivas, Reb Reuven Feinstein shlita, and we were discussing that there's a type of person that they call themselves, tell it as it is people, and they're proud of it. They're proud that they tell it as it is. It's a maileh. In today's times, this is something that a person is, he is praiseworthy because he says it as it is. He doesn't hold back. He talks, and the room...

Yeah, there's plenty of people like that. I like to call them, they say it as the Torah tells them not to say it. That's how I call those type of people. You know, just because it's the way it is doesn't make it the right dibur al פי התורה. The Torah teaches how we're supposed to speak and to be sensitive in case we're hurting another person, and to be choshesh for that. And I thought of something interesting, rabosai. You know, I was sitting and talking to somebody, and I was trying to explain to him that if you say this, you might be being pogea, and somebody might get hurt, he might get insulted. And the person had no idea what I was talking about. He had no idea. He had no idea what I was trying to bring out. He said, Yeah, but what do you mean? But this is what it is, and this is, and so what? And therefore what? And let the other guy learn to get over it. He's not a baby. Why isn't he smiling? We know, shprach, you know, rabosai, I could sit here all day and give you examples of the same point, and you'll let everybody knows, you know, so what? It went on for quite a while, and the person had no idea what I was talking—he had no clue. It didn't even dawn on him. What? But I'm right. But I'm telling the truth. But there was no way for me to reach him. And I want to tell you, I came across something beautiful, rabosai, something very beautiful. I remember my uncle, my Bubby's levaya, said something which was so unique, and as I get older, I understand it more and more. He was talking about the middos that my Bubby had, my grandmother had. Don't forget, she grew up by the Chofetz Chaim. She was an eishes chaver of a big talmid chacham. She saw gedolim. So he said a meirdige thing, my uncle Chaim, he said, Di vos farshteyen, darf men zei nit zogn. I will translate it in a moment, rabosai. Di vos farshteyen, darf men zei nit zogn. Un di vos farshteyen nisht, vet zei nit helfen kein zogn. Which means, those that understand, they'll understand. They don't need to be told because they understand. And those that don't understand, as much as you talk and talk, they won't understand anyway. Di vos farshteyen, those that understand, darf men zei nit zogn. Un di vos farshteyen nisht, darf men zei nit helfen. It's not going to help all the talking in the world. What does he mean? I'll tell you a maaseh I saw from the Belzer Rav. Pilei ployim, pilei ployim, rabosai. Reb Aharale Belzer was known as a tzaddik, heilege Yid. Everybody knows, say in the Chassidishe circles and say in the Litvishe circles, Reb Aharale was a tzaddik. Reb Aharale, you know, him and his brothers, he had stepbrothers, his brothers and him used to come to the father. B'sachadayv, they used to come and get a feher once a week in learning. They would get a feher in learning. Nope. Pesachadayv was a tremendous talmid chacham, and he pushed them, kashes, miterutzim. All the other brothers, which were his stepbrothers, were talking, learning, and answer. He never spoke, never said anything. Pesachadayv, the tata, he couldn't understand, what's the pshat? He doesn't. He doesn't have what to say. He started to feel maybe he's missing something, his son's not learning. I couldn't understand, how yitachen? Are we talking learning for weeks and weeks and weeks, and he has nothing to say? One week, a bachur came in and didn't stop talking. He answered all the kashes, and he was mamish doing all—he was running the show, as they say, mamish. So they went over to him and asked him, what's the chiluk? What happened? You're so quiet. He said, I'll tell you the emes. These are my stepbrothers. His father remarried and had these children, you know, from before.

The first, the wife brought in these children. Dalmaneh, the stepmother, she's happy to hear the way her children know. He never spoke. Punkt this week she wasn't there. She was out of town. Mimeila, he decided, okay, now he's able to talk. Sensitivity. Think of it. Temahaneh somebody, temahaneh. Why am I telling you this maiseh? Because at the end of this maiseh, there was a great mashgiach in Kalteir, which I knew. His name was Reb Gedaliah Eisman, he was a tzaddik livrachah. He was a talmid of Reb Ber. The story was told to him when he was in an old age home, Beis Avraham v'ad hayeshivis in Netanya. So a talmid of him told him the story. Reb Gedaliah was so moved by it, walked back and forth, and he said, Wow, wow, what a meiridike maiseh. How much mussar one has to learn to be able to do such a thing. What's he saying, rabosai? You know, if we just talk about achdus, of course everybody understands, avada achdus. But there's so much work that takes to be able to taka have the proper achdus and the proper bein adam l'chaveiro, and the proper sensitivity, where and when to do things bein adam l'chaveiro. You know, if you just say, Ya, Avada, Avada, yeshua, of course, yeah, yeah. Reb Gedalia Eisman understood that it takes so much. First of all, humility. It takes caring for the other person. It takes to understand the feelings of an almana, of a woman. There's so much that a person needs to work on. These things don't just happen by itself. I know Reb Chaim Shmulevitz used to say over, Tell me small stories about big people, better than big stories about small people. They reflect the zag, and I'd rather hear small stories about big people than big stories about small people. What's the pshat? Same pshat, rabosai. There's no such a thing as a small story. When you look at it simply, it looks small. It's never small. It takes years of understanding and working on oneself to understand what the other guy feels, and to be able to be mevater on what you want and what you feel. People don't even understand. The point is, even at first to begin to understand what it means. Tell me Yosef HaTzadik, yeah, to for him to make this cheshbon, yeah. I mean, avadai he probably could have made a cheshbon the other way. Wouldn't it be better for my father to know? Wouldn't it be better if my father, if he would know that, and I'm mochel them? Wouldn't it be better that way? What's better, rabosai? Let him know the story, so he shouldn't sit and wonder what happened. And tell him, you know, I'm meichel and it's over. No. Didn't want to know. I want to tell you a mechedike maiseh about this, a beautiful story. When you hang around tzaddikim and gedolim, you start to realize the greatness of the little things that they do in bein adam l'chaveiro. At my son's bris, my son Naftali, his bris was in the summer. Reb David Feinstein was the sandek at the bris. Reb David told me that I'm coming on one condition. I said, Yes, Rebbe, what is the condition? He said, The condition is that nine o'clock, the car that's bringing me is taking me back. I'm starting my trip back at nine, not a minute later. Do you promise me that it's not going to be a minute later? I said, Rebbe, yes. I don't know if I want to use the word promise, but I understand, and that's what's going to be. Exactly at nine o'clock, you'll be heading back to MTJ. Okay. I think it was like four to maybe five minutes to nine. David, Roshiva...

He looks at his watch. He starts to show me that, a word is a word. I said, fine. I told the driver, I said, the driver starts saying, maybe another few more minutes, the seudah just started. I said, Oh, no, no, no, no. Yeshiva said nine o'clock is nine o'clock, and he has to be there. Okay, yeshiva said, no problem. The guy went to get the car. Two minutes to nine, Reb David Kviat, lechatzadik livrachah, got up to speak, got up to say. Now don't forget, a bris is a bris, and how much could you already say by a bris? And what's the ... pilpul that you could say? He give a mazel tov, a maaseh, ... what, what? Reb David turns around to me. It's a minute before nine. He says, Cancel the nine o'clock. I'm staying. Reb David Kviat got up, and he was maarich, he went on and on. Reb David did not move. He stood there, I'll never forget, stood there, he was watching, respect, with kavod haTorah. And I remember Reb David was just being nice. He was giving brachos to the family, and it wasn't ... Torah, it wasn't much. And I realized what it means. Simple. It's a simple story. Not a simple story. It's years and years of kavod haTorah and kavod habriyos and derech eretz, and middos tovos. It's a small story. You know how many times today, rabosai, we run out. A rav gives a shiur, a rosh yeshiva gives a shiur. A kleyft men. They run out. Now by me it's okay. Everyone who wants to leave could leave. I'm not talking about me, chas v'shalom. I give full permission with the lev shalem. Everyone could leave, should leave. Everybody who wants to leave, who needs to leave, should go. But I'm just trying to bring out Reb David, an adam gadol. But there was a derech eretz. There was something beautiful. I want to tell you another story, rabosai. Stories, and the reason, like I said, you know, stories of gedolim speak volumes, because it's the person from years and years of learning, of shimush talmidei chachamim, capsulized in a one-second story. It's a tremendous lesson, rabosai. Listen carefully. Gedolim, gedolah shimusha yoser mi'limuda. Why? Because how much limud could you have in a minute? How much? You could learn a Mesillas Yesharim, you could learn one line, it takes a minute. The story has in it all the Mesillas Yesharim, and all the shimush talmidei chachamim, and all the regesh of the adam gadol. It's all capsulized in that moment. Toya maaseh, rabosai. When I made my bar mitzvah for my son Pinchas, so Rav Belsky shlita, my Rebbe, Rav Belsky, was saying a drashah. He had to leave early, so he was the first speaker. Rav David Kviat. Zatzal came in the middle of this speech of Rav Belsky. He was already in a walker, and there was a stage that you had to get up on the stage where the rabbanim was sitting by the bar mitzvah. It was making noise, and there was a shuffle. He had a walker. It was Rav Belsky. A shteitzer, an adam gadol. He stopped. He stopped. Kavod of Rav David Kviat. I'll never forget, Rav David Kviat said, Rav Belsky, Rav Belsky, continue speaking. Finish speaking. But that wasn't what he did. There was more. There was a little sentence after that which spoke volumes, rabosai, of what it means to be good and what it means to be sensitive to somebody else. Du redst a chazalche gute sheine zachen. You speak such beautiful things. Far vos darfstu fern fun mir? Why do you have to stop for me? Continue talking. The oilam needs to hear you. Those were the words. I'll never forget. I said it was small. It was a small sentence. Rav Belsky, Rav Belsky, continue. Far vos bist mafsik? Redst a chazalche sheine gute zachen. You speak such beautiful things. The oilam has so much from...

You continue talking, don't stop. An opportunity to be meitiv, to be kind, to be giving a word of a compliment. It's one compliment, Rabbi Yisai. Here, years later, how much I gained from watching that, from seeing that, how many people would remember it. You think Rav Dovid had big intentions in mind? It came out of his mouth. It was years and years of middos, of tzidkus, and yet it spoke volumes. Small things, small things. Kleine zachen, Rabbi Yisai. I'll tell you another maiseh. A friend of mine told me I must buy a sefer about an adam gadol that they put out, a certain sefer about someone called Rav Ganechofsky. I don't know if the oilam heard of Rav Ganechofsky. He was the chabina Rosh Yeshiva. My friend said to me, You must buy the sefer. You must buy it. All right, I went out and I bought the sefer. Now, me, I don't have to be convinced to buy a sefer. When in doubt, I buy it. Believe you me, I have. It says for Rav Ruderman, zecher tzaddik livracha. They say over Rav Ruderman. Rav Ruderman used to say that he's not allowed to go past the sefarim store. Why? Just like a shikker is not allowed to pass a bar because he can't control himself, he's not allowed to pass a sefarim store. He can't control himself. He had such ahavas haTorah. Rav Ruderman had a tremendous library. He loved learning, he loved Torah, so he couldn't pass by a sefarim store without buying a sefer. Okay. So my friend calls me up and he tells me, You gotta buy the sefer. I said, to convince, you don't have to be marich. I'm already on my way to buy the sefer. I bought the sefer. The sefer is called Vayomer Hineni. I read and read and read. I can't put the sefer down. Every page, every story, every maiseh, is just oozing tremendous middos, and ahavas Yisrael, and ahavas haTorah. Something very special, very unique. And he brings a maiseh there, hafla vafela, hafla of mamash, hafla vafela. It's unbelievable. He brings a maiseh that he was a speaker to say a shiur by a yeshivas bein hazmanim, one of these bein hazmanim drashas, you know, that they have. His shiur was supposed to be about shesh ma'alos b'kedusha—I'm sorry, shesh, excuse me—shesh madreges b'tumah: rishon l'tumah, sheini l'tumah, shlishi l'tumah, revi'i, the different levels of tumah, the pilpul shiur, a shiur of iyun, lomdus. He was supposed to be the second speaker. The first speaker was supposed to be a mashgiach who was supposed to give a shmuez chizuk for bein hazmanim. The mashgiach came late, came late. He missed—I guess he was stuck in traffic—so they asked him, him, to start the shiur. Rav Chaim Chofsky, in his derech of limud, was able to give a shiur for an hour. He could have went on and on and on. As soon as the mashgiach came in, Rav Ganachovsky, with his midas tovos, felt it was time to stop and let the mashgiach speak. And more than that, he understood that the mashgiach might feel a little ashamed that he was late. So he said the following. He says, I'd like to finish the shiur on the following note. Rabosai, listen. Listen what it means, bein adam l'chaveiro, real bein adam l'chaveiro. Listen, listen. He said the following. He said, till now, you heard what it means, sheish ma'alos b'tumah, rishon, sheini, shlishi. Now you'll hear from the mashgiach, sheish ma'alos b'kedushah, how we can elevate ourselves, one ma'alah on top of another ma'alah on top of another ma'alah, so it's one big hemshech of a beautiful shiur. I'll do the tumah part, and he'll do the sheish ma'alos b'kedushah, the kedushah part. What's the point? The point, rabosai, is the sensitivity, and the people who gave this ma'aseh to the book said that they got more mussar from that one line.

And the whole schmooze about sheish ma'ilos b'kedushah, that itself was a mussar schmooze forever and ever. I'll tell you another maaseh, rabosai. Maaseh was once invited to a convention, once invited to a convention. Not gonna tell you which one. Better left for you to contemplate, whichever one you think it is. It was a big convention. He was the guest, one of the guest speakers for Shabbos. He was the third speaker on a Friday night, third speaker on a Friday night. The first two speakers went on and on and on and on. They just didn't stop. By the time it was his turn to speak, it was not fair to the oilam. You know, they came to have a good Shabbos. I know you're gonna complain by me too, maybe I'm going on and on and I'm not being fair to you. I apologize. Nacha minutcha, feis. I'll finish this story and tell you one more beautiful story about my Rebbe, Rav Pam, and I want you to think about things that we spoke about today. Kitzur, maaseh. Shmuel David walked in, Reb Shmuel David walked in. The zeide, avada, Reb Shmuel David walked in, avada. Kitzur, he saw that it was late, so he told the people, He's not speaking. It's tircha d'tzibbura. It's not fair for the people. So they told him, But we invited you special for this inyan. We invited you special for this inyan. You came. You're here for Shabbos. You got to earn your stay. You have to speak. Shabbos sheisheshpet, it's late. So the person who, the head of the organization, said, Have aval, get up and say something short, sweet, to the point, that everyone will enjoy, and that'll be good enough. My zeide got up and said, Mechav rabosai, sishpet, a guten Shabbos, and he sat down. He turns around to the organizer — he was a chashuv Yid, ... — and he said, Nu, you asked me. It was short, it was sweet, it was to the point, and alem gehat a nach. There's nobody didn't have any enjoyment. Hakol modim vhakol had anah. Now, kemuvan, he was never invited back, farshteit zich. He was never invited back ever again to be a speaker at this venue. A talmid of my zeide told me that he went over to my zeide because he was there for Shabbos, and he said, You realize it's, it's like strange. It's like, what, you could have said something. He said, You think it has to do with that? It has nothing to do with that. The second speaker went on and on and on and on. The oilam fell asleep. So I guess it wasn't normal to fall asleep, so the oilam fell asleep. My zeide was a dynamic speaker. He knew how to speak, and the oilam would have anah. He was afraid that the oilam would zogen, Ah, etker et gut, et... but the tzeit, it geplaplt. So, mipnei kvodoi of the second speaker, he decided he's not going down that road. He says, Nishkadayfeh. So, nishkaday, that dinus, the sensitivity to understand. Final last maaseh, chabeisai. Please bear with me another second. We want to bring Moshiach. We want a Beis Hamikdash, chabeisai. He's not good. He's not good. Don't think we do big aveiros, okay? Mishlatzecha bissel, it's all normal, it's all within range, okay? But maybe if we do things which are very special, maybe we do things which are l'maalah min hashiur, so we'll have nisim. The Ribono Shel Olam will send us hatzlacha, a Beis Hamikdash out of nowhere, also l'maalah from the final and last maaseh. I was very close to my Rebbe, Rav Pam, all the years. My Rebbe, Rav Pam, after my zeide was niftar, Rav Pam became my zeide almost. Got engaged. My wife's from France. My wife is not from here. I came to the Rosh Yeshiva and I told the Rosh Yeshiva, Rebbe, I'm engaged. He was so happy, gevaldik. When and where's the vort? I'm putting it on.

My calendar, I'm coming. I said, Rebbe, it's in France. It's not negeya. He says, Vos zich ken farn in France? Vos iz shlecht? I said, Rosh Yeshiva, I'm not making you come to France. He said, Why not? I was never there. I saw he was kept on. I said, Rosh Yeshiva, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. He says to me, Nu, az de chasene? I says, De chasene ich in France? Dos eich nisht? That also you're not going to tell me to come? I said, No, Rosh Yeshiva, you know, you're here in New York, you're Rosh Yeshiva. It's not. You don't have to come. So how am I going to be mishtatef in your simcha? That's what he tells me. So I think a minute and I say, You know, I have a family member that's making a pidyon haben, 25 days, just had a baby, making a pidyon haben. Rosh Yeshiva is a kohen. My kallah is going to be coming in from France to be part of the pidyon haben, to meet the family. Rosh Yeshiva could be the kohen, could be the kohen by the pidyon haben. Good idea, he tells me. I'll be the kohen by the pidyon haben. Who is the person? I start told him and everything. Not, he knew the person, not he had shaychus. He's coming, coming to be the kohen, and this is how he's mishtatef with my simcha. Rosh Yeshiva gevaldig. Beautiful. He came. He was part of the simcha, the kohen, met my family, my wife, the in-laws. Beautiful, very nice. A yasher koach. My turn to make a pidyon haben. I call up the Rosh Yeshiva and I say, Rebbe, kohen in pidyon haben. I couldn't invite him for Shabbos, for the bris. It was Shabbos, it was in Queens, it wasn't again, but the pidyon haben, I said, Rosh Yeshiva, pidyon haben. What day? So I tell him the day. He looks at his calendar. She used to walk around with a calendar, and he says, I can't make it. I can't make it. In the morning I have Torah v'daas, a breakfast. In the afternoon I have agudah. Un b'nacht, the Torah mesayerech. He's booked all day. He can't do it. I said, Rosh Yeshiva, I understand, and it's fine. Ilu hiskabalti. Why? Rosh Yeshiva, kiyumin tzudam, my mishpacha last year to the Pidyon HaBen, and you only did it for me, so I look at it like you went to my Pidyon HaBen. You did it for me, so it's like you went to... Good, I thanked you. Good, we hang up the phone. I don't think it was a minute. It was within a minute. It was less than a minute. The phone rings. Yes? Avram Pam. They flicked the Rosh Yeshiva, zatzal, they flicked the... Avram Pam. I said, Rebbe, yes. Make the arrangements. I'm coming. I said, What happened? He says, How would you feel that I came to Plonyi, Plonyi, I don't know. I came to his pidyon haben for you, and I don't come to your pidyon haben. Make the arrangements, and I'm coming to the pidyon haben. Of a minute. It didn't take long. It wasn't long thought out. It was a response of years and years and years of mussar, of sensitive, of caring, of Torah, rabbeisai, Torah. What Torah does to a person, nobody, nobody. Torah makes a person to a whole davar shalem. Take these lessons, my boys say, to be sensitive. Everybody could think of, in his ways, where he could be sensitive to somebody, a talmid chacham, a friend, or something. This is going to be the mezakeh. Mechiras Yosef. Let's work against mechiras Yosef. ... zoche zayn ... ... ... ... ... binyan Beis Hamikdash bimheirah. You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.