Shelo Asani Isha and She’asani Kirtzono: Women’s Spiritual Completeness and the Power of Tears

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. ... Continue with the brachos, birchas hashachar. Holding by the bracha, shelo asani isha. Shelo asani isha. And a woman, on the other hand, makes the bracha. She'asani kirtzono. She doesn't make the bracha, shelo asani ish. V'choirah, mashmaus is that an ish is more than an isha, ma'alah of ish is a greater ma'alah than isha. That's why the ish gives a shevach that he's an ish. Al the isha, she doesn't say shelo asani ish, or she'asani isha. She makes the bracha she'asani kirtzono. Achein, on the peirushi ha-tefillah, oisik in this she'eilah, is derech ha-mashmaus should we take out from this that the nusach ha-bracha seems to imply that the ish is a me'ulah, so he makes a bracha she'asani ish, while the isha, she makes the bracha she'asani kirtzono. So it's interesting, Leket Yosher, page zayin, he brings from the Trumas HaDeshen. The Trumas HaDeshen had a girsa in the Gemara, Menachos, that actually... There's a bracha, shelo asani beheima. We don't have the girsa in the Gemara Menachos. Brings Azak girsa, shelo asani beheima. He says that his mother used to make this bracha. From a Sadeshin. The Sadeshin writes that his mother used to make a bracha, shelo asani beheima. That's an isha. Not she's meshabeach that she's an isha, not even shelo asani kirtzono, chala pachos nishkin beheima. Lemaaseh, other Rishonim already bring this nusach habracha, stam a zach. Shaila, why doesn't every person, not only an isha, why don't they make the bracha shelo asani beheima? So the Rikanti in Shemos chav-beis brings it, the pasuk Shemos chav-beis, he brings that there's such a nusach, shelo asani beheima. And the Sefer HaMinhagis, Blezem Lunil, he says that you don't make this bracha because it's nichlal in Elokai neshama. Baald, we say Elokai neshama.

מסעתא בי, a beheima tachnis keneshama. Since the beheima doesn't have a neshama, so already nichlal, shelo yesani beheima. Not from the chap lernen. You need an anisha. Seems like the ish is on the highest madreigah. So you don't make a bracha even that you're an isha. You even raiderai to make a bracha, shelo asani beheima. So I saw, the Yeshuos Yaakov says that the bracha shelo asani kirtzonoi is not a demeaning bracha. Chayra, we're asking a woman should make a bracha every day, a demeaning bracha. Not only she shouldn't make shelo asani ishah, shelo asani kirtzonoi. It's mashma b'di'eved. No, no. Whatever you wanted, asani kirtzonoi. And even that, we're saying, the Rishonim have said, gebracht she should make the bracha shelo asani beheima. A shvere, a very difficult thing to understand. So the Yeshuos Yaakov says, farkert, shelo asani kirtzonoi needs to be viewed as a bracha amailah. Why? Chazal tell us, na'aseh adam, the Ribbono Shel Olam turned to the malachim and He asked if they should create Adam, and the malachim said yes. So he needed permission, so to speak. The davta b'reshus of machin adam. An ishah, he didn't ask. He didn't say anything, he didn't ask. Shasani kirtzono. Understand? He didn't. Kirtzono. You wanted to create me, eh? Then you created me. Undos hamailah. Az ey lent the issue is Yankif. Nit der pshat she'asani kirtzonei means that it's a lower form bracha. It's a bedi'eved? Forget. She'eino zach. She'asani kirtzonei. Beisai, is there a mailah now that the ishah is she'asani kirtzonei? It's not. An ish was not kirtzonei. What does it mean, kirtzonei? He didn't have to ask the malachim. Chazal tell us he asked the malachim. It was simply reshus. He was asking permission. It's a nova. L'maaseh, an ish has a chisaron. An ish, when he's created, he's not mushlam. He's not—oh, good. An ish is not kimushlam when he's created. Maybe kirtzonei, it's not stam kirtzonei that the Ribono Shel Olam didn't have to ask. Maybe kirtzonei means az eyvi der Eibershter gevolt. Ona chisaron. Efsher. Yeh, Rabosai. Dos darf men oyslernen, men zogt a shiurim debis Yankivs, miz farshteyn. It's not a lower-level brachos; it's kibud av v'eim. I can't. Retzonei, un dos gar a maileh af shekirtzonei. One saw, the Chidda, Maris Ayin, Shvuos yud ches, does a peirush on the... called Maris Ayin. In a frekte terzaktne zach: every time Chazal want to give a mentsh a bracha, the bracha is banim chachamim. Haragel baner, have lo banim... always chachamim, banim talmidei chachamim. Vos is mit she'eino bis Yankiv madelech? Azoi fregt the Chidda. Biskulah is always a sign. Why not a daughter? He says, l'choireh is mashma from this, if I count, ... Some sefarim zogt er, aber l'maaseh, the isha is chayva l'olam haba yoser me'ish. A woman, in her tchunah, in her ma'alah...

Kreiva, closer to Olam Haba. So we're starting to learn, asifekeit efshar gadol, was ma'alos to an isha over an ish. There's a beautiful teshuva from Reb Shlomo Kluger. Reb Shlomo Kluger says, l'choira, the pasuk, the brachos, she'asani kirtzono is mashma, ha'ish is not like a man. So he clarifies a question in Tzans. There was a discussion that they're allowed to make from the shul in Ezras Nashim. Stama they wanted to make the Ezras Nashim bigger. It's very shayach that the women used to come more than the men, actually. I don't know what the situation here was, but they wanted to expand the Ezras Nashim, and efrech der Sheilah, and he bases it on this, which is really a levush, the fakert. The man is more than the woman, oy bazoi, so the tefillah where the men daven is more than when the ladies daven. The kedushah is much less. And he gives them the right. He says, you know, those that have a ta'ina not to make and extend the Ezras Nashim from the shul, they're right. And he bases it on the brachos. You see clearly, shelo asani ish, mashenkein a woman says, shelo asani ishah. It's interesting. Most Rishonim take on like that. The Avudraham says, Shelo asani isha. We're trying to say that we're not an isha, she'eina chayeves b'chalal mitzvos. An isha doesn't have mitzvos; we have more mitzvos. L'chaim is muchmer, az he says the Avudraham, yeah. Mipnei she'eina metzuvah b'mitzvos, aseh shehazman grama. He brings an interesting thing, mashal: Ha'ish doimeh l'po'el shenichnas l'sadeh chaveiro, v'natah b'reshus. V'ha'isha doimah l'nichnas shelo birshus. I'm not even sure if that's up level. A man is here, achrei, it's called birshus. Shenichnas l'sdei chaveiro birshus, v'natah birshus. V'ha'isha doimah l'nichnas shelo birshus. Going to the world of a man, that's ... shelo birshus. ... This is the mashal that the Avudraham brings, v'oy she'ein mazba'alah, v'ein yecholah mekayem afilu ma she'nitztaveis. And even the mitzvos that she does have, she also can't keep if the husband is standing in her way. Even those mitzvos, hatznius. Iba yakar, it's, she can't even give tzedakah. Kein zach nisht. She can't do anything. Can't even give tzedakah. Let's talk in the pshat. Chazal is doch gerecht, men are more mitzvos, women are not patur from all the mitzvos. Is it that men are more, women are more? Pashut in acharonim of peirush ha-tefillah, how do we learn up? Shema Yisrael, are we saying, Hakel, Baruch Hashem, we're not an isha? Or is the lady saying, Baruch Hashem, ...? Or is she saying, ... whatever it is, I mekabel it, mekabel b'ahavah. There is a nusach like that in a lot of meforshei ha-tefillos, like a ... din, mekabel b'ahavah. So, rabosai, ... On one hand we find women are patur, patur from mitzvos. We also find that it was the Ribono Shel Olam's almost perfect briyah, kirtzono. So there's a .... Maral explains why women don't need to have more mitzvos than men.

Safta meral in drush al haTorah, ki haish b'mashu hu gever, einenu baal shanan v'hashket, mitzad hizgabruso v'hispa'alo. A person is not settled. He's not settled. You know, you make a person sit to do nothing, he can't do it. He needs to do something. He's got to be unsettled. You know lashon? Because he has a ... retzonos, and he wants and he needs. Uvachein ein hamuchanim gam ken kol kach el hashanah vhamenuchah, so they can't come to a shleimus for themselves. Man is always searching to do and to come and to see and to sit and to conquer. ... This is never shalem. He's never in peace with himself. Isha, hanashim reuyim umuchanim l'mitzad atzmam, she'einam bnei pe'ulah v'yis'orerus mitzad atzmam briyusam. They're born with a shleimus. ... Drush al haTorah. Huh? What does he mean? I'm quoting it from Rav Schwab's sefer. I didn't see it inside, but he's quoting it word for word. Drush al haTorah. Rav Schwab brings it in his sefer, Iyun Tefillah. Uv'ma'at hasiyua shemesay'imim laTorah. So the little bit that they help out, it's good enough. They help out. They help you learn. It's good. A man, a gever, he needs ameilus b'Torah, mitzvos. He's got to be busy, otherwise he's... Shehasani, kirtzoni, kirtzoni. There's a certain shleimus that a nisha has. As hezakt, that's pshat in the bracha. So the bracha is not a chisarondige bracha, a punkt farkert. The shleimus, kirtzoni. As hevi the Ratzon HaBorei, sani kirtzoni. Rebosai, I want to tell you something interesting. I want to throw out. Machshav. You find Chazal that women, d'mosan chaviv, women cry. They're close to tears. Does that mean they're sensitive? Is that the taich? Simply they're sensitive, they have a ... face. What is sensitivity? What is it? What does it mean to be sensitive? I want to show you an interesting pasuk, a very interesting pasuk. Moshe Rabbeinu in this week's parsha: Vayeitzei eilecha haya'ar b'sivloso. Rashi says, Nasan einav libo lihyos meitzar aleha. What does it mean, eina v'liba? What's the ... of eina v'liba? What does it mean? We've always thought about it, and I've spoken about it in the past. What are the ...? Na'asan eina v'liba, lihyos meitzer. So in the past, I've always said, you have people that they have a heart, they've ... but they're not busy paying attention. You know, you can see around you tremendous things that you should feel bad for, that should hurt you. ... says to stop reading newspapers. He couldn't read the Yiddish newspapers. Why? How could you read? Honestly, be honest with you. You know, we don't realize, we look right away in the newspaper, for this, and for this simcha, for that happened, and we skip over all the tragedy, the ... mamash. You read it, I don't know how a person survives. It's—we don't pay attention. We don't pay attention to it. And there are people who could read; it doesn't affect them.

Leinim, leintim, leintim, leint. Nasan einav v'libo. That's from David Hamelech, my friends. You know, how many times you pass by in a shul, say, davening, ... rachmi Shamayim, how many times you pass by it? Doesn't—unless it's a place, HaGadol, HaTzadik, okay, so then. But otherwise, we don't even—it doesn't catch. You know, there's an interesting Alter from Kelm. When the sneh was bo'er ba'esh, what does the pasuk say? Moshe Rabbeinu says, Asurah na v'eereh, hamarah. Let me turn to see. Vayar Hashem ki sar liros. Vayikra Hashem eilav mitoch hasneh. The Eibishter talks to him. Because what says the Alter from Kelm, Vayar Hashem ki sar liros. Pay attention. You have to pay attention. A lot of times, ... it's a sheiner vort. The pesukim are very geshmak. First of all, you know, people don't realize. It says, Asurah na veereh. What does it even mean, asurah? What does it even mean? Asurah na veereh es hamarah hagedolah. Pasuk, asurah na veereh. He was there, wasn't he there? Obviously, was he there? He was there. He saw it, no? So what's asurah? The Torah says you can be there and not be there. Chazal זאגן, what's a sukkah? It's a medrash. Chamish p'sios. You walk five steps towards it. It's one medrash. V'chad amar, there's another man d'amar that says, you turn this head towards it. No? V'yar Hashem ki sar liros. A person could be standing next to it and it doesn't affect him at all. You know, there's a middah like kliyaka. Asurah doesn't mean I'll turn to it. Asurah means I'll turn away from it. Kliyaka. No, when you look, step back, you can see a lot more than when you're close. Sukkah nofeles. No, from far away, you start to see more than from close. Sukkah nofeles. Life, chaveirim, you can be too close to see. You look around, cholim, it doesn't... Step back a bit. Vayar Hashem ki sar liros. Moshe Rabbeinu כוח. What was Moshe's koach? No? It was tension. Asurah nofeles. I'm gonna pay attention. Madua sneh einenu ukal? Chazal tell us, Chazal מפרשים tell us, it's Klal Yisrael. It's on fire, but yet it doesn't. You gotta look. It doesn't get extinguished. Because if it gets consumed, it's something like this. Pay attention. From far, sometimes you see more than from close, and sometimes from close. You have to pay attention. Di masa, a woman cries. Chazal tell us women cry. Moshe Rabbeinu cried. It's the lashon of the Medrash. Vayal besivlosam. What does besivlosam mean? Nasan einav v'libo. What is libo? I asked you the kasha: what's nasan einav v'libo? It's talking about ruchim gevaldig. Einav is the gashmius. Libo is the ruchnius. The lev, the rikchei halev is the ruchniusdikah habatah. You didn't just look with his eyes. Nasan einav. The eyes, physical, physical. Then v'nasan libo, hekesh, and ayid, tzares, the things around me.

Ruchniyusdike herges. One kayova beautiful Sfas Emes habeis. I think with this we can explain a Gemara, and yes, today we're going to finish up. The Gemara says, Af al pi sheninalu shaarei tefillah, shaarei dema'os lo ninalu. The שערים of dema'os are not ninal. What are shaarei tefillah? What are shaarei dema'os? Suppose someone's crying. I saw a ma'irdige Sfas Emes, a hafla'ah. Sfas Emes says, the Gemara in Chagigah, daf daled amud beis, says, Rav Huna kad have mati lahekrach, hava bachi. He cried. Rav Huna d'veint. Rav Huna cried. Which Gemara made Rav Huna cry? Shteit in the Gemara, Yira yera. Oyle regel is the Ribbono Shel Olam. We come to see Him, and He comes to see us. Eved sherabbo metzapeh lir'oso, yischachek mimenu? How can we stay far away from the Eibishter if the Eibishter wants to see us? That's a Gemara, and of dem what the Gevalt. Look at Sfas Emes in Pesach tof reish mem zayin. What was he crying about? He says, a meiredike vort. Bechiyah has a special ma'alah. He brings the pasuk, the pasuk in Tehillim, perek pei, pasuk vav: ‘Hachaltem lechem dimah, vatashkeemoi bidma'os shalish.’ People use this, this word constantly. It's called dma'os shalish. When a person cries a lot, it's called dma'os shalish, which means consecutive, constant crying. There's a whole question, Rashi, the Radak, why is shalish? It has to do with the third galus. Look at Rashi and the Radak. The Sfas Emes says, what is shalish? It's the shalosh regalim. HaShalosh regalim. Through the shalosh regalim, a person is able to connect with the Ribono Shel Olam, and that's the dma'os that David HaMelech is talking about. He says that's the pshat, ‘Shalom l'rachok ul'karov,’ that through the dma'os, which is dma'os of what? Of richuk, a person feels he's far away from the Ribono Shel Olam. ‘Shalom l'rachok ul'karov,’ you can get close. Vatashkeemoi, dma'os shalish. Omer HaMelech is saying that through the d'moyis, through the d'moyis that one has on a Pesach, on a Shavuos, on a Sukkos, can have kivud to the Ribono Shel Olam. The richuk, that's pshat eved sherabbo metzapeh l'raiso, longing itself, longing itself, that itself is the kiruv. Told you many, many times. Chazal tell us Klal Yisrael will come to the Eretz Yisrael, they'll pass a mountain called Amona. They'll sing, and they'll say shirah me'rosh Amona. What is Amona? Me'rosh Amona. It's the name of the mountain, me'rosh Amona. And they'll sing shirah. What is this rosh Amona? The Medrash says that Klal Yisrael, on the top of this mountain, will look back at the galus, and they'll say shirah on the galus.

Dalsa Rebbe, tzaddik devracha, b'sefer Dalsa said pshat: There's a maila in galus that we're not going to have when Moshiach comes, and that's mitzapeh. Mitzapeh. Meirosh emunah, we'll have emunah, the longing. That itself is the kirvah, and that we're not going to have when Moshiach comes. We'll be there. We'll be together with the Ribbono Shel Olam. Das alein, musta menches mitzapeh. Tefillah. What is tefillah? Tefillah, a person feels close to the Eibishter. Then there's something called sha'arei dma'os, when the person feels he's rachok from the Eibishter, and he cries. Those dma'os is efshar me'karev, mekarev alei. And those are b'noit chaliyos, those are tachas kisei hakavod. Those dma'os reach the kisei hakavod, because those dma'os are ruchni. It's only ruchni. It's the a mensch's karev to the Eibishter davens. What's he crying? He's crying heder, he's missing. Something is not there for him. Das alein is the kirvah. Sholom, sholom, omar Hashem larachok velakarov. Das alein. Bechirah, rabosai. I don't know how to tell it to you in simple terms. I grew up with people that cried like that. Similar to the time. Come on, I don't see it anymore. We see it. We see beautiful davening. We see people are davening with a lot of kavanah. I saw a world of people davening much less and understood much less. They cried like that. There's a certain kirvah that they have. There's a certain ruchnius. A woman has this ruchnius, d'maos, so she cries. Why does she cry? Because she's ruchnius. It's a certain ruchniyusdike shleimus that a person has. He's able to cry. When we're not able to cry anymore, then you start to realize we're רחוק, very far. Moshe Rabbeinu, what was his ma'alah? He cried. Moshe Rabbeinu cried. He was crying, v'omar, and he said, Mi yitein musu alai. He was through bechiyah. A person has to be able to have hishpa'ah. Baruch Hashem, b'emes, very matzliach. We learned and we davened pnimiyus, pnimiyus today. We became cold. We became rachok. Farbiten, דער נקודה. Stop. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.