Banim Atem LaShem: Bitachon, Achdus, and Protecting Others from Bizayon

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. Shalom Aleichem, bruchim haba'im. Being that it was bein hazmanim the past few weeks, so we did not give the shiur on Parshas Re'eh, and we did not give the shiur on Parshas Shoftim, so we'll try to give both on Re'eh and Shoftim, a dvar Torah together. In Parshas Re'eh, by Revii, Banim atem laShem Elokeichem, you're children of the Ribono Shel Olam, and therefore, lo sisgodedu v'lo sasimu korchah bein eineichem lameis. Someone passes away in the family, a relative, someone close to you, do not rip, not yourself nor your clothing. Lo sisgodedu v'lo sasimu korchah bein eineichem lameis, ki am kadosh atah laShem Elokecha, uvcha bachar Hashem lihyos lo l'am segulah mikol ha'amim asher al pnei ha'adamah. What is the Banim atem laShem, and why is it significant and relevant in lo sisgodedu? Why is this the introduction to the issur lo sisgodedu, to tear oneself and clothing on a meis, Banim atem laShem? What is the point of the Banim atem laShem in this context? So the mefarshim differ, many different pshatim. What is the Banim atem laShem? What is the significance? What's it trying to tell us? So we'll bring a few of those pshatim from the mefarshim, because each one on its own is a tremendous lesson in hashkafah. The big yesoidus in Yadus and hashkafah that a Yid must know: Banim atem laShem. Why do we have to know Banim atem laShem, and in what relevance is it that we should know Banim atem laShem? We will quote a few different pshatim, and we will show how in the Rishonim already these pshatim could be found. Many learn the Banim atem laShem, it's about behavior. You need to have behavior which is appropriate as Banim atem laShem, the king, the son of the king. The king has to be royalty. It demands respect. The behavior has to be such with royalty. Banim atem laShem, you have to know that you represent the king because you're banim, you're his children. And therefore you too need to have a hanhaga, a ufpasung — in Yiddish they call it an ufpasung. It's the way you behave with royalty befitting banim of the Melech. If you look at the Gemara in Kiddushin, daf lamed vav amud aleph, the Gemara darshens on the Banim atem laShem that there's a machlokes, the Tana Kamma and R' Meir. The Tana Kamma says, Banim atem laShem bizman she'atem nohagim minhag banim. Then you're called banim. And when it's not that way, you're not called banim. And we know Rameir, famous, Rameir says, I'm cholek, בין כך ובין כך קרויים בנים, no matter what, you're called banim. Notice that the Gemara doesn't say, בזמן שעושים רצונו של מקום, then you're called banim, but rather, בזמן שאתם נוהגים, נוהגים, נוהגים מנהג בנים, that there's a hanhaga, there's a behavior that is required from a Yid because he's banim atem laShem, and that's the taich of the banim atem laShem, hanhaga. It's a special exalted behavior of royalty. And בזמן שאתם נוהגים מנהג בנים, אתם קרויים בנים. The Rosh Yeshiva, Reb Baruch Kotler, zecher tzaddik livrachah, Mishnas Reb Baruch, chelek alef, amud kuf nun. In the shmues there, he speaks — in Yiddish they say he muns — he requires the tzibur of the Bnei Torah to realize, banim atem, their unique position that they represent.

The Ribono Shel Olam, and therefore their behavior has to be such, and their behavior has to be fit, that they are bonim atem, bnei Torah, bonim atem laShem. And this is the Torah's dictum. The Torah is trying to tell us that we must understand this, and this is an achrayus, our responsibility. Who we are. Know who you are. Bonim atem laShem, and behave so in your hanhaga. This is, in Rashi, the wording of Rashi, we can see this mahalach. Rashi learns, Lo yisgodedu, lo sitnu gedidah v'sered b'sarchem al meis, k'derech shehamoraim osim, lefi she'atem banav shel Makom, ve'atem reuyim lihyos no'im v'lo gedudim u'mekorachim. You need to be on a pedestal of beauty because you're bnei HaMelech, and Rashi means it physically, but it's also, of course, spiritually, in the hanhaga, not only physically, no'im. Imuzaina sheniyit. I always say this is the mekor of a sheniyit. Imuzaina sheniyit. People should look at you and say, Ach, ki bakuk. The way the person behaves, she'shein. It's beautiful. So this is the first pshat in bonim atem laShem. We could also say that bonim atem laShem is about our approach of emunah u'bitachon to the Ribono Shel Olam. And that is that just like a child has full trust in his father, he has full trust in his parents. He doesn't fear. He's not afraid. Children, they walk around without a worry. Why? They know the father takes care of them. Banim atem laShem, kegamal al ha'eim, like a child. That's one of the expressions that the Torah tells the Yid's supposed to be, kegamal al ha'eim, like the nursing baby. He doesn't know from nothing. He is taken care of. He's carried. When it's time to eat, eat. When it's time to be changed, clothed, sleeping, kegamal al ha'eim. Banim atem laShem, plain a kinder. You're like little children by the Ribono Shel Olam who you could trust to take very good care of you, and that's emunah bitachon. It's a level, an ultimate level that a Yid must reach in emunah bitachon. Ich bin der Ribono Shel Olam's kind. I am the Ribono Shel Olam's child, and I could trust Him. He'll hold my hand. He'll take care of me. This I've seen also in the Rishonim. This yesod could be found in the Even Ezra, the lashon of the Even Ezra, v'taam banim. Why is it banim? What is the reference here, banim, trying to allude? What's it trying to tell us? Achar sheteidu she'atem banim laShem. Now that you know you are the children of the Ribono Shel Olam, v'hu ohev eschem yoser me'av laben. He actually, he actually likes you more than a father. Father's love for a child is a humanly love. This is even greater. It's p's. Surpass is a humanly love. It's the love that the Ribono Shel Olam, hu kolei ruchni. It's the love that He has for you, so therefore al tizgayde du. Don't rip your clothing. If you have yizhak b'na umglik, when something bad happens, someone passes away, don't rip your clothing. Al kol ma she'asa, ki kol asher ya'aseh l'tov hu, because everything the Ribono Shel Olam does is for benefit, for your good. V'im lo tevinu, and even if you don't understand it, ka'asher lo yavinu habanim haktanim understand, it's like a little child. What does he understand? Ma'aseh avihem. What the father does, he doesn't understand. Rak yismchu alav, but they rely, Tata takes care of me. That's what he knows. Ka'asher lo yavinu habanim, ma'aseh avihem, rak yismchu alav. כן תעשו גם אתם. You should do the same. Emunah uvitachon. So you see, the Even Ezra learns, בנים אתם לה' אלוקיכם, lo tisgodedu. Even when bad things befall, have emunah uvitachon.

That the Rabbeinu Shalom is the tata of a rachaman. Everything is with rachmanus, and it's for your benefit. Ki am kadosh ata, v'eincha k'shar kol hagoyim. You're not like the rest of the goyim, al kein lo ta'aseh k'ma'aseihem, therefore do not behave like the goyim, and that is, Banim atem laShem. There's another pshat which I saw in Banim atem laShem. What is the significance? What is the message of Banim atem laShem? Rav Moshe Soloveitchik, zecher tzaddik livracha, the tzaddik of Tzirech. There was a tzaddik in Zurich, Rav Moshe Soloveitchik, an einikel of Rav Chaim. In the sefer V'ish Moshe, amud nun hei, he says, what does it mean, Banim atem laShem? You should turn to the Eibishter whenever you have something that is needed, whenever you're in pain, whenever you need to turn, turn to the Eibishter, like a child who knows he can always turn to his father. Banim atem laShem, you are children of the Rabbeinu Shlolem. When a person's in need, when a person's in a tzara, when a person's in pain, he knows he has who to turn to, his father. Banim atem laShem, he always has who to turn to, especially tefillah, daven, daven to the Rabbeinu Shlolem, and understand that the davening, when you daven b'eis tzarah, is like a child turning to a father in time of need. I enjoy saying over the story. I've said it over to the talmidim many a time. Reb Chatzkel Abramsky, zecher tzaddik livracha, the great goy and the chazon yecheskel, he would talk to the Ribono Shel Olam, his needs, like a child talks to a father. Whenever a child, he has a need for something, it's not a big appointment necessary. He just turns to his tatte, and he says, Tai, I need this, Tai, I need that. And Chatzkel Abramsky used to do the same thing. Tatte. Chatzkel is hungry. Chatzkel's hungry. Tatte. Chatzkel himself, Reb Chatzkel, Chatzkel is cold. Chatzkel is tired. Chatzkel has a headache. He's in pain, because a child does that with a father. Ta! I'm hungry. Ta, I'm tired. Ta, I have a headache. Chatzkel, fleigt zogn, Tatte, Ribono Shel Olam, Tatte, I'm hungry. Chatzkel is hungry. It's your son. I'm your child. This too, I think, is in the loshon of the Rishonim, this mahalach of Banim atem laShem. Das geinen mibali ateisvis, v'naas l'charachamim, zogt the Baalei Tosafos, Banim atem laShem Elokeichem, v'lachein imeis avichem habasar v'dam. If your physical father, your flesh and blood father, he passes away, lo sisgodedu. Don't tear your clothing in— Misery of despair. Why do people tear their clothing? They're lost. They're so in desperation that they, what are they going to do now? Hopeless. Lois is goydulu, sharei, einchem yesomim. You'll never be a yasom without parents. Ki yesh lachem av, because you always will have a father, shehu chai v'kayam, yisbarach, yisbarach shmo. Aval ha'akum, a goy doesn't have this. So when his father passes away, he takkeh rips his clothing in despair. Why? He's in trouble. Who could he turn to? He has nobody to turn to. She'ein lo av. Ki im eitzei v'avonai sheheim b'ma'il, because then he has to turn to his avodah zarah, himself, to the bankes, to fleik mezonen Yiddish. It helps. What does he have? When his father, who can't stand for him, passes away, oy vey, he has to turn to his avodah zarah. Oy, rachmana litzlanim. What a big rachmana litzlanim. But you, lois is goydulu. Don't feel despair that you don't have who to protect you and who to do for you and who to stand for you. You always have a different father, Banim atem laShem, that comes in to fulfill the needs.

That you have, and the requests that you have, like your regular father, you have always the Ribono Shel Olam. Banim atem LaShem, you have who to turn to. So the first pshat, Banim atem LaShem, behave beautiful, hanhaga. Second pshat, bitachon, trust, like a child trusts a father. And the third pshat is, Banim atem LaShem, you're never lost. Hastalam al ha-taten himo, and you can always have who to turn to, and you should turn to Him, like a child that turns to a father when he's in need. There's another pshat, rabosai. Lo sisgodedu. The pasuk says, Banim atem LaShem, lo sisgodedu. So pashut, lo sisgodedu means do not rip your flesh. Chazal darshen, lo sa'asu agudos agudos. Don't make camps. Don't divide, divisions among Klal Yisrael. V'asu kulam agudah achas. Yidden must be an agudah achas, one unit. Don't break into little frills of different factions. Lo sa'asu agudos. These are very big halacha she'eilos, minhagim, the minhag is to wear on Chol Hamoed tefillin or not to wear, in the same shul. A lot of halachas come from lo sisgodedu. Pashut, it means don't break up into different groups. This is brought in the Chofetz Chaim. Al HaTorah used to fatach losis goydedu. Even that there's different factions, don't make it into different groups. A lot of times we take what'staka, different minhagim and different camps and different kehillos, and we say, Oh, that's this type and that's that type. Losis goydedu. Don't break into different parts. Don't make the different parts of Klal Yisrael. Hagudas, hagudas, that they're different camps. It's all one unit, and within that unit there are many, many camps and many, many kehillos. It's a beautiful pshat of the Chofetz Chaim. He understood the essence of Klal Yisrael. The essence of Klal Yisrael is we are different yet but one. We are all different. No one has to be like the other person. Yet unique in our differences, we are united in the common that we are all one unit. Leisasa agudos agudos. I would say that according to this pshat, maybe that's the banim atem LaShem. You're all children of the Eibishter, you know, in a family they're all brothers. Just because they're all different than they usually are doesn't make them that they're not connected as one, as a family, because they're banim, they're banim to the father. The Torah is telling us, loisis goydedu, like the Chofetz Chaim is understanding, don't make different camps. They could be different, yet they're all one because they're all bnei HaKadosh Baruch Hu. We all kindred from the ein, from the zelbe tate. A father wants that all the children—it's one of the most important things in a father's life. It's one of the things that a father yearns for, that the children, as different as they are and as different paths they take in their life, yet they should remain echad, united. I saw also this yesod in the words of the Chofetz Chaim in Chovos HaShmirah, seif perek aleph. Chofetz Chaim says that a person needs to pay attention when he speaks lashon hara to the situation that's happening and that's unfolding when he speaks lashon hara. We think you speak lashon hara about another Yid, all right, it's about the other guy. He might not even be here. Yeah, but the Ribono Shel Olam is present. He's everywhere, says the Chofetz Chaim. Would you speak lashon hara about a child in front of a father? When you speak lashon hara on anyone in Klal Yisrael, wherever it is, you're talking in front of his father. And remember, you can't talk. Most people understand as mereknisht.

Afkin faratat. That's a pretty basic, a pretty basic rule, universally accepted and understood. Zachter Chafetz Chaim, in Lashon Hara, remember, is an ale kinder, and that person is the kin for the Ribono Shel Olam. I'd like to tell you a nice story. Chazak, the organization I'm very involved in kiruv. There was a big sugya that was nogea. They were an interesting undertaking with kiruv. So we were taken to meet the Satmar Rebbe, first the one in Williamsburg and then the one in Monroe, as the Rosh Yeshiva. I was asked to go. I did my job. I went. And on the way there, I was thinking, we're asking a big thing from the Satmar Rebbe, an undertaking. It was going to take a lot of financial and a lot of hours of work to do this kiruv project. What can I tell the Rebbe that will give them a push to accept on, to take on this thing of kiruv? They should take it on. It came to memory a story, years, years ago, when I was a bochur, actually even before what we call a bochur, I was actually a kid at the time. Reb Yankev Goldstein, zecher tzaddik livracha, the menahel of my yeshiva in Ar Yisroel, may he be a tzaddik, I owe him so much. Mechanech all the talmidim like a father is mechanech a child with love, and he guided us. So he used to take us Shabbosim to his home in Williamsburg. It's where he lived, and then Shabbos he would take us to the Rebbe's experience, Williamsburg Shabbos, a Chassidishe Shabbos. So he then took me, as we went from Rebbe to Rebbe, from Tish to Tish. I was a young boy from Queens. He spoke to me. It was beautiful. It was such a beautiful, elevated thing to see the Rebbes and the tish and the Chassidim. So one stop we made was by the Satmar Rebbe, Reb Moishe Teitelbaum. Reb Yoel was not alive anymore. Reb Yoel zecher tzaddik v'kadosh livrachah. Reb Moishe Teitelbaum was the Rebbe. Reb Yankiv Goldstein pulls me over towards the end of the tish, and he tells the Rebbe, This is Aaron Walkin. So he goes, Reb Shmuel David Walkin's an Enkel? Reb Shmuel David Walkin's a grandchild? I said, Yes. He says, I have a nice story to tell you about your zeide, Reb Shmuel David. What's the story? Years, years before, there was a family that needed a lot of help, financial and many other issues that needed a lot of work. And your zeide put himself into it, b'lev u'nefesh, spent hours toiling, hard work to help these people. When I met your zeide, I asked him. I see you helped and you put so much mesiras nefesh work in. How do you come to this family? It's a family in Williamsburg. Now today, there's no boundaries, you know, with the phones and the traveling and the vans and the cars and that. It's all one. There's no agudas, agudas anymore. We're all connected, you know. In two seconds, you pick up a phone and you text. But then, you know, you had to pick up a phone. It wasn't, you know, all the time that from Williamsburg you came to Queens. How did you come to this family? So he said, my grandfather answered, I had no choice than to help them, because their father, their tata, their father, hat mir azoi ingebeten. He begged me to help them. And therefore, even though I didn't know him that well, I don't know this family, I'm not acquainted with them per se, but I put it, I gave it my all as if I knew them, vail zeyer tateh, their father, he begged, and I couldn't say no. Says Reb Meisha, titledbaum, zecher tzaddik livracha, the Satmar Rebbe, and how do you know their father? Really, you come to their father.

That their father begged you, and that you had a conversation. How do you come to him at all? It's also Williams' b'chasidish yid. My zeide pointed upwards and he said, Zeh tateh. Their father, meaning the Ribono Shel Olam, asked me to help them. I couldn't say no to their father. וְנָתַתָּ לַה׳ has deep implications of achrayus, of responsibility from one Yid to another, understanding that he is bonim and you are bonim, and you have the same Father. וְנָתַתָּ bet — v'natata requests, vegen zayn kind, remember these are His. So the achrayus is not only that you should view yourself as bonim, but bonim, not ben ata, but bonim atem laShem, responsibility to the other because he's also bonim atem laShem. I would like to now jump to Parshas Shoftim and to tell you a dvar Torah on Parshas Shoftim, a beautiful vort. The Torah in Parshas Shoftim, perek chaf, speaks when Klal Yisroel goes to war. Ki seitzei lamilchamah al oyvecha, v'ra'isa sus v'rechev, lo sira mehem. You can't be afraid, ki Hashem Elokecha imach. The Eibishter is with you. Hamalchah me'eretz Mitzrayim. When they come close to the war, says the pasuk, they get a speech. What is the speech? V'hayah, d'karvuchem el hamilchamah, v'nigash hakohen v'diber elam. The kohen goes and speaks to the people, and he tells them, and this is the speech he gives them: ואָמַר אֲלֵהֶם שְׁמַע יִשְׂרָאֵל, אַתֶּם קְרֵבִים הַיּוֹם לַמִּלְחָמָה עַל אֹיְבֵיכֶם, אַל יֵרַךְ לְבַבְכֶם, don't be afraid. And then the kohen starts sending people home. They have a deferral. Who? Somebody, mi'ish asher nata kerem—I'm sorry, the first one is mi'ish asher banah bayis chadash. You built a new house and you didn't live it? Go home, go home. You never lived in your new home. Why? You might die and someone else will take that house. If someone was nata kerem, he made a vineyard, he planted a vineyard, v'lo chilalo, and he never got the fruits of it, yelech v'yashov l'veiso, go home. Kan yamus bamilchamah v'ish acher yechalelenu. Mi'ish asher eras ishah v'lo lekachah. You got married, but you weren't with your wife, shanah rishonah, go home. Yelech v'yashov l'veiso, because you might die, v'ish acher yikachenah. And little by little, the groups go home: the one who built the new house, and the one who made the vineyard, and the one who got married. Rashi points out something interesting: pen yamus bamilchamah, yashuv. He better go back. Pen yamus. How do you know he's going to die? What do you mean, pen yamus bamilchamah? Yaashuv pen yamus, maybe not, says Rashi. It means she'im lo yishma, because if he doesn't listen to go home any stays, then he'll die. Kedai hu sheyamus. He deserves to die. You were told to go home because personal, personal reasons, right? Home. You have your own personal reasons why you don't have to go to war. You better go home, because if you don't go home, you deserve to die. Why does he deserve to die? Maybe he wants to go for kiddush Hashem, to fight. The Rambam says clearly that those that went to war didn't go to war thinking that they're not going to die. You know, in a person's mind, he looks at the milchemes Yisrael, that they went secure that they're not going to die, right? You're going for the Ribono Shel Olam. Rambam says not that way. Rambam says there's a good chance you might die, and the Mechas Chinuch speaks about it because there's no pikuach nefesh in milchamah. It's not that you have guarantees. You don't have, and you still have to go, says the Rambam, al kiddush Hashem. You're going to fight milchemes Hashem, you go to die. So maybe this person, he has ideals. This person has a lot of emunah and yiras Shamayim, and he wants to fight for the Ribono Shel Olam, and he's not going to take his part.

of his personal life, what's going on in his personal life. So why does he deserve to die? He should be honored. He should be given a medal of honor that he goes to milchama al Kiddush Hashem, and he doesn't make his personal life an excuse. I saw Rabbi Chaim explains that if he goes to war, we have no guarantee that he can be focused in the milchama, because his mind will be on what's going on back home. The kavana won't be there. So even if in his heart, his heart is in the right place, he wants to fight, but his mind won't be focused, and therefore he might die, because like the Rambam says, you need to go with tremendous focus of Kiddush Hashem and milchemes Hashem, and therefore he needs to go home, and if he doesn't, pen yamus, he will die. My Rebbe, Rav Pam, zichrono tzaddik livrachah, said a different pshat. Why does this person deserve to die? He's doing, l'choira, something beyond the call of duty. He's not going home to take his excuse. He stays on to fight. Why is he kedai l'mus? says the Rosh Yeshiva. Wait a minute. The Gemara tells us that actually these cases that we send you home for the house, it's really to cover up those that really had to go home because they have aveirus. And they were going to die if they go to war with aveirus. And yet, the smallest of aveirus. The Gemara tells us, Sach בין תפילין לתפילין. It's a small aveirah that he, by mistake, spoke between the tefillin shel yad and the tefillin shel rosh. He has to go home. Nevertheless, this person can't go to war. But it's embarrassing. You're sending a guy home because he's a baal aveirah. Everyone's going to start, You heard? You saw? You saw? This guy? Who knows what he did already? Right? Can you imagine? You think they're going to say, Oh, he did nothing. He only spoke between tefillin shel yad and tefillin shel rosh? They'll begin to say, Ooh, who knows what he could have done wrong already? So to cover, we send home a lot of people. So you never know what this person—maybe he built a new house. Maybe he put up a vin. Maybe he just got married. So it's to cover the bizayon, the embarrassment of those that sinned and have to and must go back, otherwise they're in deep sakana. Now, the persons who don't take on this deferral, they stay. People are going to say, Wait a minute, didn't he build a new house? Hey, wait a minute, didn't he just get married? Ah, so you see that only people who really did an aveirah go back. So you're bringing back the bizayon for the baalei aveirah. People are going to say, Wait, I don't see. You built a new house. Why aren't you going back? Ah, so the people who built a new house are really staying, and the people who got married. So who are really those that are going back? Oh, those must be the real baalei aveirah. So to cover the shame. This was meant to cover the shame, and you uncover, and you don't behave in a way that protects the kavod of your fellow Yid, kedai hu lamus. You deserve to die for that. The Torah put a mechanism, a mahalach, where the oveir aveirah that have to go back will be protected from busha. And by you not going back, you're undoing that, and you're bringing bizayon la'acheirim, says Rosh Yeshiva, kedai hu lamus. You're gonna die for that. In milchamah, especially in zman milchamah, the medakdek bichut hasa'arah, you're gonna die and pay for that. I want to tell you over what it means to be careful not to be mevazeh, to be zahir not to bring shame to another person. I have a beautiful story to share with you about my zeide, Reb Shmuel Dov Walkin, zichrono tzaddik livrachah. My zeide was an unbelievable speaker, tremendous baal darshan. He was sharp.

Witty and beautiful divrei Torah, mechayeh to listen to. He was invited by a convention. I'm going to keep the name of the convention covered. I don't want to bring out in public the name of the convention, but a very, very honorable, respectable convention that it's a, it's a treat to be there. And it's definitely a treat to be invited. He was invited, and he would get a free Shabbos for this because he was a guest speaker. His allotted time to speak was Friday night, third speaker of the evening. After the seudah, they had three speakers which were set up to speak, and each one was given 20 minutes. They should speak, and the whole thing, all three speeches, one hour, and people should be able to go to sleep. It's a Friday night. No, one of the hardest things for a darshan, a rav, to do is to keep to the time. Nobody more than me knows that. The first speaker spoke for half an hour. The second speaker spoke for 40 minutes. By the time the two were finished, and it was my grandfather's turn, it was reaching close to the hour, and it was late. My zeide said, I refuse to speak. I will not get tircha d'tzibura, tircha d'tzibura. I will not speak. The one who was the head of the organization was a chashuve Yid, a zecherinah livrachah. He was the yoshev rosh of the whole organization. He turned to my zeide and he says, Reb Shmuel Dovid, I mean, we invited you for this. This was, there was an invitation, a Shabbos. You have to speak. Ma zei, but it's late and people are tired. It's Friday night. So he said, You know what? Get up, say something short, sweet, to the point, that everybody will enjoy, and you call it a night. Zog epes kurtz, sharp, tsum zach, s'oilem vet hoben hanoah. That's how you would say it in Yiddish, and that's how it was told to my grandfather: Kurtz, sharp, tsum zach, s'oilem vet hoben hanoah. Maizeh said, Okay, I will. He got up, Moirai v'rabosai, it's spät, it's late. I want to wish you all a good Shabbos, zay gezunt, a guten Shabbos, and he sat down. He turns to this yoshev rosh, the head, and he says, Nu? It was short, it was to the point, and the oilem definitely had hanoah. They definitely enjoyed. That's what you asked me, I delivered. Can't tell you that he was invited back. I don't know if he was ever invited. I believe he was never invited back for that reason. But Maizeh stood his own, and when people came over to ask him, What's this bizarre behavior? You could have said something, you could have spoke. So he said, The real reason I didn't want to speak was that the first two speakers were not that good speakers. The speeches were not that exciting. I am a good speaker. I was afraid that after the evening was over, people would walk around saying, Ah, the first one, ah, this one didn't... He was sensitive to the hurt and bizayon of his first two speakers, the first two speakers, his friends, his colleagues. To make the cheshbon, to calculate, what if I speak? You know, people might come and say, Eskabed b'kali chaveirei, even though he didn't do anything. He wasn't trying to embarrass them, you know. But if people would walk around, he didn't want that there should be bizayon. He was careful. He was zahir. So this story, this story was a beautiful story. So I told this story to Rosh Yeshiva, Rebbe Rav Pam. I told it to Rosh Yeshiva, Rebbe Rav Pam, and he enjoyed very much, v'shteit zich, he enjoyed very much the story. This brings out the point of what the Rosh Yeshiva was saying, how you have to be careful. Even if you have a ptur, you're going to go to war. It's scary, it's dangerous. You don't take that ptur, and you're kedai lamus if you bring out that someone else will be embarrassed, even if he's a baal aveirah. So I asked Rosh Yeshiva, you know, when we act...

How do we ever know if we're causing someone else shame? It's almost impossible to have, on every act and in every word we say, calculation, maybe some guy will get embarrassed. Ein l'kel yadeinu. What are we going to do? We shouldn't talk, we shouldn't walk, we shouldn't do anything. Whatever you do might hurt somebody, might embarrass somebody. What are you supposed to do in life? Of course, you have to make your utmost effort, I understand, but should a person sit and calculate, like the zehdeh calculate, if I speak, they're going to get embarrassed? How far do you have to take it? How much is in our hands to do? You said, that's a good question. It's a good question, you know. So I thought of an answer and I brought it to the Rosh Yeshiva, and I said, you know, every morning we ask, ... Hashem Elokeinu, ... v'loy lidei nisayon. And one of the things we ask Hashem should save us, lo lidei nisayon. He shouldn't bring us lidei nisayon, protect us not to bring us to the hand of nisayon, v'loy lidei bizayon, embarrassment. It simply means that we shouldn't get embarrassed. We shouldn't get embarrassed. Talmud Dvarim writes that one of the greatest things that could happen to a person is bizayonus. Why? It's mechaper al avonos. And yet it doesn't do physical harm to the person. If he doesn't pay attention, so to speak, to the bizayonus and he swallows it, he can sleep at night. If you needed yisurim to take care of avonos and you get physical affliction, that's hard. You can't live with that. But bizyonos, you can live with it, and that's the best way to be mechaper aveiros. The Torah says a person who gets bizyonos shouldn't be boyet; he shouldn't kick it, go, Oy vey. It's a good thing it happened, bizyonos. It's a kaparah for aveiros that doesn't physically harm you. You know what yisurim, how it harms people and the suffering, and the... Bizyonos is the best form of yisurim. Welcome the bizyonos. Azoi zogt the Torah. He speaks, grada, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We're coming up now, it's before Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Bizyonos is one of the greatest things that's mechaper. My zeide used to tell me, I heard this from him many a time, that the Chofetz Chaim used to say, he used to express himself, Vos vet shin zayn mit Yisroel Meir in Yene velt vos hot nit gehat genug bizyonos af der velt. Chofetz Chaim was treated with great respect, admiration, and he says, What's going to be when I come to Shamayim and I don't have this great cleansing called bizyonos? He was afraid of it. He was trying to bring it out. Bizyonos is a tremendous memarek. It's a tremendous plus. It cleans the person. It's memarek ha'adam. So why are we... And I'm not telling you that you should ask for bizyonos, okay? You know, if Hashem, the Torah is telling us how good it is, maybe a person should start davening, Ribbono Shel Olam, send me bizyonos. Mar sheteichin, lo hein v'lo secharan. Tanoim said, Listen, the yisurim is good, but not looking for it. You don't have to look for yisurim, okay? But you don't have to say, Ribbono Shel Olam, protect me from the bizyonos, v'lo yidei bizayon. V'loy lidei... accepted with open hands, like the Talmud says. Why do we daven to the Eibishter, v'loy lidei bizayon? So I said, Rebbe, Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Pam, maybe v'loy lidei bizayon doesn't mean my bizayon. Maybe it means v'loy lidei bizayon to mevazeh somebody else. Ribono Shel Olam, help me that I shouldn't come to cause bizyonos to others. The Rosh Yeshiva smiled. He said, Wow, that's a nice pshat, that we daven every morning, v'loy lidei bizayon, that we should have the siyata dishmaya not to be mevazeh others, what we say. Sometimes it's beyond our control. Ribono Shel Olam, protect, protect us. Give us the siyata dishmaya. It's a ma'amar chiddush. Years later I found a mekor for this chiddush. Rav Chatzkel Abramsky says, v'loy lidei bizayon. We ask the Eibishter, bizayon more than anything else. Ribono Shel Olam, more than anything else, don't give us bizayon. Why? Because usually when someone gets bizyonos, he goes on a rampage of returning the bizyonos. You mevazeh me, I give back, and that's the worst thing, to be mevazeh somebody. So v'loy lidei bizayon, we're asking, Ribono Shel Olam, don't bring me to the...

Bizayon situation. I might be nifka, I might get hurt, and therefore mevazeh others. Ribbono Shel Olam, protect me from being mevazeh others. So the loy lidei bizayon is really, as we fatach, Ribbono Shel Olam, help me not to be mevazeh others. That's a tremendous bakasha that we have to ask the Ribbono Shel Olam. Azehirus, please. And we need to ask Ribbono Shel Olam siyata dishmaya for this. Give me the siyata dishmaya that I shouldn't be embarrassing others. You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.