Ben Sorer U’Moreh and the Inner Work of Elul

Topics

• Ben Sorer U’Moreh and the Lesson of Elul
• The Status of Ben Sorer U’Moreh
• Derosh V’Kabel Sachar
• The Lesson Within the Parashah
• The Mussar Behind Ben Seir Ha-Meir
• Teshuvah, Ben Sorer U’Moreh, and the Limits of Change
• Yishmael, Esav, and the Relevance of the End of the Parashah
• Yishmael, Esav, and the Ability to Change
• The Difference Between a Yid and a Goy
• Ephraim and Teshuvah
• Teshuvah as a New Birth
• Change That Does Not Last
• A Yid as a Mekabel
• A Story About a Leather Tallis Bag
• The Lesson of the Ben Saira u’Meira
• The Koach of Teshuvah
• Ki Seitzei and the Yefas To’ar
• Fear, Ta’avah, and the Beis HaLevi
• K’neged Yetzer Hara
• The Yetzer Hara and the Milchamah
• The Yefas To’ar as a Lesson
• The Nitzutz Within
• Elul, the Inner Yid, and the Battle
• The Besulah of Elul
• Teshuvah and the Inner Will
• The Bread and the Yeast
• A Chavrusa with the Yetzer Hara
• L’mancha Elokim Chayim
• Mitzvah Goreres Mitzvah and Gashmiyus
• Rav Yisrael Salanter’s View of the World
• A Maiseh in Washington, DC
• The Cost of Olam HaZeh
• The Company Analogy
• Olam HaZeh and What We באמת Want
• A Story About Rav Zev Edelman
• Reaching the Anil Ad-Daidi

Transcript

# Ben Sorer U’Moreh and the Lesson of Elul

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.

This week’s parashah includes Yifas To’ar, and Yifas To’ar leads to the ben sorer u’moreh. I found the great lesson in the parashah, the ben sorer u’moreh, and that is the ge’ah, the point that is relevant in the month of Elul as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

There is a fundamental lesson we can take from the sugya of the ben sorer u’moreh. Ben sorer u’moreh is a perplexing halachah, a perplexing inyan. You are talking about someone who is 13, between 13 and 13 years and 3 months. He is a bar eynshim. But what he does seems benign. I am not saying it is a good way of life that he is leading. I am not telling you that. But misa? That he should be chayav misa? An unbelievable thing. What does he do? He eats a tatyam hasbosa place. He does not listen. All right, where is the chiyuv misa?

Chazal already addressed this question, and they say that it is al shem sofo. Al shem sofo hu neherag, the lashon of Chazal. Rashi quotes that the ben sorer u’moreh is neherag al shem sofo. Why? Because, okay, he stole the tatyam hasbosa, chatzi l’yayin, zoila vaseivea. I would call him a good American boy. I mean, what is the difference between him and any other American kid? He eats. He is eating Baskin Robbins ice creams, mit mit mit, chvez vos mit mit mit—what do they call those beers? Bullhorns, chvez, whatever they call it. Voo, okay, gan b’toichecha. All right, where is the chiyuv misa?

So Chazal say: ben sorer u’moreh neherag al shem sofo. It is not for what he does now. Rather, he is killed because of the future. He giya tera l’soif da’teih. The Torah went down deep into his daas. So if, at the end, he will be mechalel his parents’ money, and he will be mevakesh l’mudim in him mites, and he looks for his allowance and he will not find it, v’omrim parshas derachim u’mal’as mesabris to murder—I am tired of yom ha-zakha while yom ha-chayav. So the ben sorer u’moreh is not dying al shem sofo in the sense that what he does now is enough to make a chiyuv misa. Rather, it is better that he should die zakai than die chayav.

It is known, the famous question, that this goes against the principle of ba’asher hu sham. We find by Yishmael that his asid, his future, was really not good either. Believe me, what he had waiting ahead in the future was only ra and rishus, and sinas Yisrael and hereg, like we see today. Yishmael is a tze’akah, it is murder. Yet when we know that he went to the midbar with his mother and he was ready to die, “ba’asher hu sham,” and Chazal say that the Ribbono shel Olam judges a person ba’asher hu sham, so how do these two inyanim coincide? How could it be, on one hand, that the ben sorer u’moreh is judged al shem sofo—what is going to be in the future, what is waiting ahead—and Yishmael was judged ba’asher hu sham?

Many terutzim are given to this kashya, many terutzim are given to this kashya. But before we get to the terutzim, I would like to be made aware of another thing that Reb Yisrael Salanter speaks about, and that is the story of the ben sorer.

# The Status of Ben Sorer U’Moreh

Is the story of the ben sorer u’moreh a matter of actual consequence? Is it really something that will happen?

There is a machlokes in the Gemara between two Tannaim. One Tanna says, *ben sorer u’moreh lo hayah v’lo nivra*. Another says, *ani v’adayim*, it happened.

Everyone knows the famous view: *lo hayah v’lo nivra*. The accepted approach is that it cannot be. Consider the conditions required. To kill the ben sorer u’moreh is almost impossible. It is self-defeating. The parents must be *kolo v’kolo*, that they have exactly the same voice, that they sound alike. The details are there precisely to disrupt the possibility of *misa*. They make it almost impossible. They are there to safeguard that it should not happen.

# Derosh V’Kabel Sachar

In fact, the Gemara says: why is it written in the Torah? *Derosh v’kabel sachar*. Darshen it, and you will receive reward for darshening the parashah. The Ribbono Shel Olam gave us a parashah. It is written there in the Torah. But if you darshen it, you will have *limud haTorah*; you will have *sachar* for learning Torah.

Mussar asks: if you want to take something, if it is *l’galei amos*, there is plenty of Torah. Why specifically do you need to make up a story about a ben sorer u’moreh? *Derosh v’kabel sachar*—take anything else, and you get reward for darshening it. So of course, the parashah is that if it is *l’galei amos*, then you gain from it. From that, the Torah teaches two inyanim in Torah: there is *Torah l’shem Torah*, and there is *Torah l’shem kiyum mitzvah*. You have to learn in order to know what to do.

When it is *l’gabei kiyum mitzvah*, it is very geshmak, because it is *l’galei amos*. You are learning something practical, not just theoretical. Therefore you enjoy it. Since it is theoretical, it is really not *l’galei amos*, so you do not have much enjoyment in learning it just to know. So, *derosh v’kabel sachar*—when it is mamash *l’shem Torah*, the point is that the Torah took a parashah and gave us a parashah. So there is *Torah l’shem Torah*.

# The Lesson Within the Parashah

Mussar asks: *Torah l’shmah* dafka me’kareves ba’aseh? What is that? It is to think up a story, to make a whole fantasy of a ma’aseh. You begin and build an entire structure around it. For what?

Fali Mussar explained that *derosh v’kabel sachar*, and I think this is the real peshat, means that avad v’halachah l’ma’aseh there will not be a ben sorer u’moreh. But there is a lesson in ben sorer u’moreh. That is what it means.

The lesson of the ben sorer u’moreh is what gets everybody. You are right: the practical implication of the parashah of ben sorer u’moreh is *lo hayah v’lo nivra*. But the lesson of the ben sorer u’moreh—that is *derosh v’kabel sachar*. That is a tremendous limud, a tremendous eye-opening mussar that a person can take. That is *derosh*. If you darshen it properly, *kabel sachar*: there is great reward being given here in the Torah.

So we have to understand well the parashah of ben sorer u’moreh. What is it? Because the Torah is giving us a sugya called ben sorer u’moreh as a lesson to learn from it.

Ba’alei mussar used to give meshalim. What is a mashal? They say over in the Dubno Maggid that he had an interesting mahalach in meshalim. What was it? He would understand the mussar, and around the mussar he would create the mashal. The idea was that there is a mussar, and around that mussar this parashah is being created, the ben sorer u’moreh, because there is a lesson.

So the nekudah is the lesson—that is the *derosh v’kabel sachar*. Around the lesson was created the ben sorer u’moreh. So what is that lesson? It is *derosh*, as if it were a mashal. We would call it *mishlei haTorah*. The Torah is giving us a mashal.

# The Mussar Behind Ben Seir Ha-Meir

To bring out a mussar, like the great mussar giants and the great maggidim used to do, they would bring a maiseh that they created, a maiseh fabricated around the mussar. So here, if the parashah of ben seir ha-meir is fabricated around the mussar, to my understanding that is what it means, derech vekabel schar. So what is it? What lesson of mussar is the ben seir ha-meir created and fabricated around?

I believe that we understand the difference between yishma, basher, and sham. The ben seir ha-meir is the lesson that he is here to teach. What does the ben seir ha-meir do wrong? The Rambam speaks of two things. One is that he lacks kibbud av va’em; he is openly being makleh, and the word makleh means he is degrading and undermining his parents. The second thing is that he is being over on k’doshim tihyu. K’doshim tihyu means you have to be holy. His behavior is such that it cannot be called under the heading of the tzivui of k’doshim tihyu. This lifestyle is not k’doshim tihyu.

There is a lot of talk about that. There is a lot of discussion about what this Rambam means. But it is interesting: the first son of the Rambam undermines his parents. If you look at the pasuk, though, the pasuk seems to use a certain lashon, which gives us an understanding of in what way he is undermining his parents. People can undermine their parents through a lack of kavod. Maybe that is the problem: a chisaron of kavod. We know that the kavod of parents is the kavod of the Ribbono Shel Olam. The Gemara in Kiddushin tells us that the Ribbono Shel Olam looks and sees: if a person is mechabed his parents, then I will come there, says the Ribbono Shel Olam, because I know he will be mechabed Me. If you are not mechabed your parents, you are not mechabed the Eibishter. It goes hand in hand.

Maybe that is the chisaron: that the person, the ben seir ha-meir, is an eino shomea, the kelev of a kelev. I believe that if you listen carefully to the lashon and translate it literally, it is not connoting so much a lack of kavod, but a lack of shemi’ah. He does not listen. When a child at that age is already not listening, he will never listen. He will go to yeshiva and he will not listen to his rosh yeshiva. He will get older, he will get married, he will not listen to his in-laws and his wife. And then when he comes to shul, he will be a chatzan and he will not listen to the Rav. Then when Hashem gives him mussar, so to speak, through life, when the Ribbono Shel Olam shows him through life, through eye-opening mussar, how his way is wrong and how he has to change course, he will not listen either. Because he is an eino shomea already at the shoresh of him, stubborn in his ways.

Again, the Rishonim seem to say that it is some kind of degradation to his parents. He is degrading his parents, and I think it is not so much the lack of kavod; I think it is the lack of shemi’ah, the fact that he does not listen. He is not a mekabel. He is set in his ways.

I once thought to myself: how do you explain the beis din ha-meir as they are paskening on him that he is going to be chayav misah? Doesn’t he realize that he is in trouble? So let him turn around and say, Ta, you know, I changed my mind. I mean, which child...

# Teshuvah, Ben Sorer U’Moreh, and the Limits of Change

Normally, when he sees what the outcome is, he is in trouble. Of course, he says, “I won’t do it again.” So what happens if he says that? Is it too late? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I think he could do teshuvah. I think he is able to tell the Beis Din, “You’re right, I did this and this, but I have a change of heart.” At what point is it too late to return? Maybe after the Pesach halachah, maybe. So what happened until the Pesach halachah?

You know what I really think the real story is? That ben sorer u’moreh can’t change. That’s the word. Even in the face of the punishment awaiting him, erhalt b’zayn, erhalt b’zayn. You find, avad yislohei v’never, but the Torah is bringing out that there is such a metzius in a mensch, that he is an einenu shomei’a. He cannot be, he cannot change. It is impossible.

You know, you have people who are so adamant in their nefilah, where they fell to, that even if it means they are ready to die, you see the Columbine, the high school, the Columbine, he went to Thomas nafshi. That is a ben sorer u’moreh. He went out and he—his drugs. Again, it is an extreme case. But what was he thinking? He is a young guy, his life is ahead of him. And the teretz is: either he is completely troubled or he is completely rotten. Cults, gangs—you know, kids in gangs are Thomas nafshi and plishkin because they cannot change their lifestyle.

Now again, I am just giving this as a mashal to understand what it means that sometimes, even in the face of onesh, you do not change. The Gemara says they do not change. “Yeah, but you are not afraid? Look what is in front of you.” It does not say you do not believe; you see it. When you are rotten and you are not a mekabel, you are set in your ways, that is it. You cannot change.

# Yishmael, Esav, and the Relevance of the End of the Parashah

You know, Yishmael was ba’asher hu sham and not al shem sofo. Why? If you take a look at the end of the parashah, after the ba’asher hu sham, the Ribbono Shel Olam sends a well, he drinks the water. It is a pasuk, a success. Why is that relevant to us, that his mother took a wife for him? I need to know—Yishmael, she do have, what is the name of the Gemara? Yishmael, what is his name? Who cares? My mother—what is my business?

The truth is, Yitzchak had Esav. Esav’s wives were relevant because they were the ones who caused Yitzchak to become blind, right? They were the ones who caused Yitzchak to become blind because they would be me’orer es ruach; they would come and make these frankincense things for their avodah zarah, they would make tayris for their avodah zarah, and that was one of the reasons why Yitzchak got blind. But by Yishmael, we do not find anywhere in Chazal the relevance of Yishmael’s wives to the life of Avraham and Yitzchak. What is the nega? How is it nega?

Vayikach lo imo isha me’eretz Mitzrayim. And I will tell you also another thing which I always found interesting. Anyone who pays attention to the Krias HaTorah on Rosh Hashanah—we read this parashah and we say this chelek also—he went to Gerar, and the mother took a wife for him from Mitzrayim. What is the nega? How did that come into the Rosh Hashanah Krias HaTorah? Partially, it is the end of the parashah, but for the pesukim we do not really need it. You know, legabei pesukim, we have enough pesukim, and we could have stopped before that whole inyan of his wife, of his mother bringing a wife from Mitzrayim.

Ba’alei mussar say that the Torah was addressing the question of why the ben sorer u’moreh is al shem sofo. Well, Yishmael got a lease on life by ba’asher hu sham, and the answer is: he is a shomei’a b’kol of a b’kol imo. He was a...

# Yishmael, Esav, and the Ability to Change

And he listened.

The difference between the B’ensayim and the Meirim is a contrast. Why was Yishmael given a second chance in life? The answer is that at that moment he was still a shemeya. The *al shem sofoi*—that a person becomes punished for, locked into, that this is it, this is who you are—has to coincide with being an *eino shemeya*, *b’kavod* and *b’kli meyut*. Because that means there is no future, no hope. Then you are already *al shem sofoi* now.

The truth is, the girsa of Rashi is like that: “Higiya toirah l’sof daito.” Now. You want to know what “now” means? Now is already *al shem sofoi*, because he cannot change. “Higiya toirah l’sof daito.” Why is it “higiya toirah l’sof daito”? Because it is already set now. It is already programmed now, his future, because he is not capable of change. He is an *eino shemeya*; he does not listen.

Yishmael was given a second chance in life, *b’sheirusham* and not *al shem sofoi*, because he listened to his mother. He listened to his mother. He listened to his mother. And since he listened to his mother, the Borei Olam still did not pasken on him *al shem sofoi*. It still did not pasken on him *al shem sofoi*.

## The Difference Between a Yid and a Goy

I want to tell you that this goes deep into the difference between a Yid and a goy. A goy can be moved at times, but it is very external. It cannot change his life. Life-altering experiences are almost not common by a goy. He is who he is.

You know Esav. We are shown, why is he called Esav, or *asui*? He was born made. He is what he is. Esav cannot change. You cannot make Esav something he is not. It is who he is. He was born *asui*. That is a child who was born with his hair; he is already who he is from when he was a child.

Esav represents the quintessential *ben seir ha-meirach*. That is what he was. He is a ganav. He is a brius. He could not change. There was no way. He is also. He is who he is.

## Ephraim and Teshuvah

What about Klal Yisrael? Habiruchem, HaMashgiach, Sefer Tzadik, Levarchem, Hishmuzin Hanelu, brings a pasuk. The pasuk in Yirmiyahu says, “Shmua shomati.” I heard. Rabbeinu Shem declares, I heard. What did I hear? “Ephraim misnoidate.” Ephraim is moving around. *Misnoidate*. Ephraim is moving around. What does that mean?

Rabbeinu Shem says this is a milah, one of the attributes that Ephraim, Klal Yisrael, has, and that is *misnoidate*. What does *misnoidate* mean? What is the milah? Habiruchem says *misnoidate* means he can be moved. He can be influenced. He can bend and change course. He can bend and be a different person.

“Shmua shomati.” I heard Rabbeinu Shem saying, you know what, Ephraim has a milah. And this is the milah of a Yid: he is able to be influenced to change who he is.

I want to show you something interesting. Rabbeinu Yonah brings down: how does teshuvah work? Teshuvah is a process. What is the teshuvah process? “Bayoim hahu,” the day that he comes to do teshuvah, “yashlich kol p’shav asher asah.” He should throw down all his aveiros. “V’yaseh atzmo k’ilu ki hayom nolad.” He should make himself as if he was born today. You know the expression “born again” is a stolen...

# Teshuvah as a New Birth

It has to do with Eden and teshuvah. Teshuvah means that you say: I was born today, *ki hayom noladti*. *Ve’ein b’yadi lo zechus v’lo chovah*, and *zeh hayom techilas ma’asav*. Today is the beginning of his life. *Hayom mefaleh chasav*. This is the way you begin the teshuvah process.

The Rambam brings this in Hilchos Teshuvah, and it is essentially the same idea, only expressed in different words. The Rambam says, in Perek Beis, Halachah Dalet, *mi-darkei ha-teshuvah sheyehei hashav tso’ek tamid lifnei Hashem u’misrachik harbeh mi’middav u’mi’shechata, u’meshaneh shemo*. You have to change your name. *U’meshaneh shemo*—he changes his name. *Chulu, imar: ani acher*. I am someone else. *Ve’eini oso ha-ish*, I am not that person. *U’meshaneh ma’asav kulam l’tovah u’le’derech yesharah l’olam*. I am not that person.

Could you imagine, rabosai, if they came to give you a bill that you owe money? You know what you say? It’s not me. That’s not me; that’s another guy. The Rambam is telling us that in Hilchos Teshuvah, the way teshuvah works is that you tell the Ribbono Shel Olam: I changed my name; I’m not that person.

What does that mean? I was born today. What are you wearing, diapers? What are you talking about? Maybe you should put on diapers. What, it’s a joke? What are you saying exactly? I’m not that person, you hear? Who are you looking for? You’re looking for Chaim Yankov Bornstein. I’m not Chaim Yankov Bornstein. Yesterday I was Chaim Yankov Bornstein; today I’m Yitzchak Rubenstein. What are you kidding me?

You know, we can make a film from that. We can make a film out of this: yesterday he’s this, and today he walks around, he’s somebody else. Me? I don’t know that guy. Never heard of him. I don’t know who you’re talking about. Who, him? Rubenstein? Bornstein? That’s not—Bornstein is Bornstein, Rubenstein is Rubenstein. It’s a joke, what are you saying?

He’s rishon, and he’s a different person. This is good for bankruptcy. It bankrupts me. He had seven names, right? Why did he have to have—I'm sorry, yesterday he had seven names. Why did Yitzchak have seven names? Well, he had seven daughters, and after every chasunah he had to claim bankruptcy. He’s not saying he had seven names. Yitzchak had seven names. Why does a guy have seven names?

Let me tell you something: if a guy brings these cards that he calls a driver’s license with seven different names, you better be careful. There’s something seriously wrong here. If he has seven names—this driver’s license, this name, and then he just read seven names—and the tag that says he claimed bankruptcy seven times after seven chasunos, seven daughters, that’s a joke.

But how about a chasunah? Could you imagine a guy comes to the DMV and tells the DMV he needs a license. One second, type up the thing. You have a license; it’s this and Mr. Rubenstein. Who? What are you talking about, Rubenstein? I’m not Rubenstein. He says, what’s your birthday? Eleven. And he grabs it and says, today. He says the name of the day—August, where are we holding today? August what? August 18. Okay, today is August. Yeah, I was just born. You don’t know? You don’t see? I just came right out of the hospital.

You know, they’d laugh and put you in jail. They’d put a jumpsuit on you first and then put you in jail. What’s going on here? You’re crazy. I’m not that guy. I was rather born today. All records—erase. Erase all the records.

You know what this Rambam is saying? He’s able to change himself completely, to be a different person. Only he has such a koach. A guy is awesome.

# Change That Does Not Last

Even when you move them to some degree, they go back to being who they are very quickly. I once thought about the day they voted in the UN to have Eretz Yisrael, to have Israel. I’m not getting into the politics behind it, the shittos, Eretz Yisrael—I’m not. But the fact is that they voted for Israel, and Russia voted with them. They outwardly expressed that it was a vote of pity and sympathy because of the Holocaust. The next day, they voted to arm all the Arabs to go fight the Jews. So where was the sympathy?

A terrorist is like that. He was moved for a second, and I could change the guy? The guy liked the zohlba guy. The guy remains the same guy, the same antisemitic guy. It doesn’t move at all. It doesn’t work that way. He is who he is. And Yaakov Avinu knows this. That is pshat: Yaakov Avinu, Eisav comes, he cries, “My brother, Yaakov.” Yaakov knows how long that’s going to last. He wants to travel with him; already it’s not going to be good. From the first minute he knows: forget about when we get to wherever we get to. Tomorrow, we head out together. By the beginning of the trip already, it’s not good.

Yes, but yesterday he was crying, “Oh, see my brother, I’m so happy, I love you, I kiss you.” He was moved for maybe half a second. How deep was it? How much change did it result in? Not much.

# A Yid as a Mekabel

A Yid is able to be moved to be a completely different person. He’s a mekabel. A mekabel can be from parents when they’re young, and from rabbeim when you get older, and from your rav when you get even older. And then from life’s experiences that the Ribono Shel Olam is directing you through. The guy is set in his ways.

# A Story About a Leather Tallis Bag

I want to bring you a story that brings this point out beautifully, this Rambam. In any Yisrael, I’ve told you many times that when I came to the yeshiva originally, there were ba’alei teshuvah in the yeshiva. We had a mix of different types of people; there were ba’alei teshuvah. When I came into the yeshiva, I saw that there was a tallis bag that was made out of leather—a big leather tallis bag. It bothered me. Why do you need to have a leather tallis bag? What’s wrong with the normal one that everybody has, the felt one? You have to go and make a leather tallis bag? You have to go and make a leather thing?

In the shiur I spoke about it, and I brought out: why do we have to have new things? What’s wrong with the old things? After the shiur, somebody comes over to me from the shiur and says, “Rabbi, I just want to tell you about this tallis bag. There’s a story behind this tallis bag. It’s not just that a guy went and bought himself a leather tallis bag.”

What’s the story behind the tallis bag? The person who owned it—you know who it is. His last name today is Chuva. Chaim Chuva. I said, “Chaim Chuva?” “Yeah, that’s interesting. His name is Chaim Chuva.” What’s the story? Chaim Chuva, before he became religious, was a biker. He was in a gang. Gangs on bikes wear leather jackets. Their symbol, as a biker, as a gang member, is a leather jacket. So when he did teshuvah, he took the leather jacket and made it into his tallis bag. He tried to change it completely, to use it for the Ribono Shel Olam. And he calls himself Chuva because he changed his name.

I said, now I understand. Shapir da Rambam. He’s meshaneh hashmoi. That’s called change. When a person is able to change the complete course of life because he was moved to teshuvah, to the point that he calls himself Chuva, to the point that he took his leather jacket, which symbolized his life of the past, and made this his new life—that’s called Efraim meshaneh hashmoi. Efraim is able to change.

You know what I always say, like I told you in the beginning of this shiur: the mitzvah of Meir is a lesson. You know what the lesson is?

# The Lesson of the Ben Saira u’Meira

The lesson is that, deep down, we could all turn into a Ben Saira u’Meira. The practical application of the details of the halachah may not apply, but the mussar, the hashkafah behind the Ben Saira u’Meira, certainly applies. As I always say, it is very possible to walk into shul and find an eighty-year-old man being a Ben Saira u’Meira. He does not change. An eighty-year-old man, yes. You know why? Because some people are not receptive. You cannot move them. You cannot influence them. They do not change. They are not to be changed.

What do I learn from this? A tremendous lesson. We come before the Ribbono Shel Olam on the mishpat. Let me tell you something: it is not good. If you want to keep score, we lose right away. We are on the losing side if we keep score. So what do we come with? We come with the Efraim Yisnei Deid. We are ready to try to change. We are capable of changing our lives, of being different. Who we were last year, we are not the same people. We are not the same people, and we are capable of being the spoiler, of making a complete change in who we are.

# The Koach of Teshuvah

Now, the question, of course, is that every year we say this, and every year we go back to the same thing over and over again. It is not about what happens lema‘aseh. The potential to be something else is what the Ribbono Shel Olam gives us life for, so that we should try to be that. To succeed, as they say, but you have to try. You have to try to change. We have to try to be a neneh oiseh. I am not that person. To make b’yai b’yai neilah—fresh. I am fresh. I start over again. The ability to drop the past and start over is a koach of teshuvah that is b’yisrael. It is the koach of teshuvah that a Yid has and a goy does not have.

There is a big discussion whether teshuvah is only for Yidden or whether it applies to goyim as well. We find by Ninveh that there was teshuvah. I cannot go into the entire topic right now; the time does not allow for it. I am not starting it. There is plenty more, and I do not have time to go through this topic at length. But what I can say is that the type of teshuvah that is shayach by a Yid is not shayach by a goy. A goy can come and say, “I will fix, I will change, I will do something different in action.” What a Yid can do is change who he is. It is a whole different type of teshuvah, rabosai. The goy is able, possibly, to repent, to behave differently, and to force himself to behave differently. The Yid is able to change himself deeply. That teshuvah is only for Yidden. And I will explain to you what I mean.

# Ki Seitzei and the Yefas To’ar

The beginning of the parashah is very, very interesting: Ki seitzei la-milchamah al oyvecha, l’sanei Hashem Elokecha, which is the story that leads to the ben sorer u’moreh, right? The yefas to’ar. Ki seitzei la-milchamah al oyvecha, and the meforshim ponder that the yefas to’ar itself is a peleh. It is a peleh. Why? Who goes to war? Tzadikim. Only the biggest tzadikim went to war. It is interesting, right? If you spoke between tefillin shel yad and tefillin shel rosh, go home. Sochi, go home. Rabbi Aharon, zatzal, the rosh yeshiva of Lakewood, in his shmuess on Ani L’Dodi proves that it is even if you did teshuvah. Even if the person did teshuvah on that aveirah, go home. That already means you are not eligible for the army, okay? So who went? Tzadikei Elyon. And during war, we all know that when a person is b’yirah u’v’pachad, he does not even have a yetzer hara.

# Fear, Ta’avah, and the Beis HaLevi

You know, when the bombs are falling, very few people think about tyrants. There is no famous Beis HaLevi. The Beis HaLevi quotes, it is also in Sipurna, that the question is: how can we ask of a person not to be misaveh, misaveh eisheh Yisra’echa, beis Yisra’echa? He has it. It is a feeling. So there are many different terutzim to this kashya.

The Beis HaLevi used to say that the pasuk ends with yirah. When someone is afraid, he does not have ta’avah. It is just the way it is. The mashal that the Beis HaLevi would always say over was this: imagine you have a river that freezes. A person is going over the river. Kids like to run across the lake when it is frozen to get to the other side to get himself a burger, an ice cream. And all of a sudden, as he runs across, one spot was not completely frozen. It cracks, and he falls in. He is terrified for his life. He is stuck underneath the ice. Do you think he is thinking about his burger then? Do you think he is thinking about his ice cream? When you are in the foxhole, you are not thinking about ta’avah.

So what are we talking about? Tzaddikim. Yesterday I was reading in Tanakh the story of Gideon. How many people did he go to war with? Three hundred people. He had ten thousand. And the Levi just said, what do you need ten thousand people for? All you need is three hundred people. And who were they? They checked how they drank the water, whether they bowed down, whether they drank properly. If it was already no good, they were out.

I remember my rebbi who taught us this in Tanakh when we were kids. So what was he left with? Three hundred yeshiva bachurim. That is what he was left with. He was left with three hundred bnei taichel. He goes to war and he wins. So by and large, I am saying, you do not need all this. Who goes to war? Only the tzaddikim go to war. So you will have a ta’avah for what? For yefas to’ar. For a goyte. That is the chiddush. Mamash davar sheb’pelah. How do you understand this?

# K’neged Yetzer Hara

Chazal tell us: what does it mean, k’neged yetzer hara? If we are not going to permit it, he will do it anyway, so we might as well permit it. That is a cheshbon. Maybe we should permit everything today, because today, I think the Christians, that is what they believe: let us make it all mutar, otherwise people do it anyway. So why should it be asur? That is a cheshbon. Give him mussar, tell him: you are in danger. What are you looking at goytehs for? Let us talk about this.

The teretz chabavah says there is something deep in this sugya. There is a very deep sugya here, and that is: seitzei la-milchamah al oyvecha, v’dibra Torah ela k’neged yetzer hara. You do not talk to the yetzer hara to appease him. Rather, it is dibra Torah k’neged yetzer hara, the opposite. This is understanding the war against the yetzer hara. How do you understand the war against the yetzer hara? What is it talking about? This is how you understand a great war against the yetzer hara: whatever he wants, he wins. Of course there is no war.

You know, things like the Arabs and the Jews. The Arabs think: if you give us what we want, we will not go to war with you. So you are the one making the war. Isn’t that what the Arabs say? If you give us what we want, we will not kill you. Then you are the one causing your death. You are the murderer. What do you say? L’dibra Torah ela k’neged yetzer hara, to make it mutar? Let us talk a minute, rabosai. This represents a deep milchamah.

And it is not only oyvecha, your enemy, the Syrian from the Golan and then the Egyptian from the Sinai. That is not what it is referring to in the deeper meaning. In Zohar it is brought, and all the sefarim speak about it. It is really a textbook lesson that we should learn something. And the mefarshim say: you have to go out, and so to speak, at the first punch on the offense. If you wait for the defense, it is not going to work. It is plural, oyvecha.

# The Yetzer Hara and the Milchamah

Talking about one yetzer hara who comes in all different guises and disguises, right? One day he’s the car, the next day he’s a movie. The yetzer hara comes in all different disguises.

So when you look at the Mishnah in Sotah, they’re sort of busy with this. We mean the milchamah, the greater milchamah, like the Chayei Adam and others talk about—the milchamas ha-yetzer, which is the real milchamah.

Ki seitzei la-milchamah al oyvecha, u-nesano Hashem Elokecha b’yadecha—the Mishnah says, okay, you got it, right? You won. But you know what happens in war? Shavisa shivya. There are casualties in war. There are consequences in war. You might fight the yetzer hara, but guess what? You might come out wounded. You might come out with situations that you have to be careful about. War is war. Even if you’re victorious, you come back. Yaakov left with tze’elah, right? There’s always consequence, and tze’elah yarecha has to do with doros. With doros, it resembles a punch, a hit. Chazal call it that, and they say it’s going on machzikei Torah. They represent the machzikei Torah. There’s consequence in war on both sides, you hear?

# The Yefas To’ar as a Lesson

What’s the consequence in this war? I’ll tell you. The Zohar writes that the yefas to’ar is actually a mirror of ourselves. You bring her into the house, and she cries for who? Avihah, her father; imah, her mother; yerach yamim, an entire month. It says in the Zohar, which is really a loshon of the Shlah when he quotes the Zohar, how did chaydei shal come to be a yefas to’ar? I say: the Zohar, it’s a Chazal. I don’t think it’s just a Zohar that the chassidishe olam found and the chassidishe olam reads. In the yeshivos, they learn up this Zohar at great length. They say a lot of shmuessen. The Machzikei Rabbanim said it over year after year. He said a shmuess about it. Until today in Lakewood, all the yeshivos use this Zohar, because Machzikei was every year with this Zohar.

Bokhsa saviah ve-simchah—the yefas to’ar. She cries for her father; she’s missing him. Imah, her mother—her goyishe father? No, it’s also supposed to be a lesson to the Jew. You, bokhsa saviah, you cry for your father, the Ribbono shel Olam. Imah, Knesses Yisrael; yerach yamei me-chodesh al. What’s the connection to the yefas to’ar? The answer is that the yefas to’ar brings a lesson with it, and that is shivya, captivity. The yetzer hara in war takes captives. Don’t think that we don’t come out wounded in war. We fight the yetzer hara daily, but there’s a shivya—something goes into captivity.

# The Nitzutz Within

You know what goes into captivity? You know what the yefas to’ar is? The Or HaChaim says: how does a tzaddik see a goyte and become aroused, have chashak, cheshek, whatever? It doesn’t sound like any tzaddik. You’re not embarrassed? You come home with her, you bring her into your house—what’s going on over here? The Or HaChaim HaKadosh says that the tzaddik is picking up that there’s a nitzutz, there’s a holy soul here, a holy spark in this woman. He sees something; he’s drawn by something.

Shavisa shivya—the yetzer hara takes those sparks within you. There’s a Jew, there’s a chelek Yid, there’s a chelek neshamah within you. He takes it captive sometimes, during the fight, through the year. So you know what? That spark misses the Ribbono shel Olam. It cries; it longs; it mourns the Tata, the Ribbono shel Olam, the Knesses Yisrael, the Yid.

# Elul, the Inner Yid, and the Battle

And every yid cries: Elul — there is a yid in me. It is in captivity. It is locked in there. It needs to come out. Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkos — lifnei Hashem. To connect with the Abishter. Rosh Hashanah is one form of connecting, Yom Kippur is another, and Sukkos is a third.

I don’t know if you know, but on the days of Elul we say, “L’David Hashem Ori v’Yishi.” What is “L’David”? “Im tachnu lai machaneh, im tachnu lai milchamah, v’zeh sani b’eteach” — we are at war. Man, especially a yid, throughout the years, is on a battlefield. The Chayei Adam talks about this battle all the time: the great battle, fought day and night.

Unfortunately, you know what sometimes gets taken into captivity? The inner yid. And b’khosos, Elul is the time when it cries — “Esaviyo, v’es ima, Knessi Sisro, Yerach Yom” — it cries to get out, that spark, that cheilek of a yid.

# The Besulah of Elul

There is a beautiful Chidushei HaRim, a classic. The month of Elul has as its sign the besulah, the maiden. In the yeshivos, Rav Pinkus, zt”l, and Rav Hutner also speak at great length about this point, because besulah is a lashon of chibah. Besulah represents love. Elul is a time of love, as we have spoken in the past, and even though it is a time of fear, it is also a time of love.

So besulah, which is the symbol of the month of Elul, represents the union of ahavah. The Chidushei HaRim explains the besulah — it is unbelievable, this side is deep — that there is a part in every yid that is a besulah, that cannot be touched: not by outside influence, not by the yetzer hara, and not by the tirda of hachayim. There is a part that remains like a besulah, untouched. And the avodah of Elul is to tap into that shtick yid inside.

The avodah of Elul is to tap into that shtick yid inside. Tisgabei says, I think, two parshiyos together — the eishes yefas to’ar and the ben sorer u’moreh — that eishes yefas to’ar is telling us that there is a yid within us, and the point is that it is shevuyah, it is locked up in there. So when we come and we listen and we are mekabel, what we are doing is tapping into what the yid really is.

# Teshuvah and the Inner Will

The Gemara tells us, and the Rambam paskens this, that whenever there is a mitzvah, we can force you — for example, a korban, a get. So the Rambam in Hilchos Gerushin says, but it says, “Lo sanu.” The Rambam says that every yid wants. What does not let him? It is the yetzer hara. The idea is that within every yid there is some ratzon to get close to the Ribono Shel Olam and do the mitzvos.

Teshuvah is to be able to find that yid. He throws away all the sins. What happens when you throw away the sins? The sar shivya. Who stops us? What is stopping us is the sar shivya, the yetzer hara. So if we combat the yetzer hara, we let the yid and the “us” come out, and that is the pshat. I am not that person. You know who is doing the aveiros? The dibbuk in me, the yetzer hara in me. It is the yetzer hara that is causing me to do all this. But the me in me is not doing all that. The me in me knows that we only want to do mitzvos.

So we come to the Rabbeinu Shel Olam and we tell the Rabbeinu Shel Olam that only a yid is able to be divided: the me external, the me which is the yetzer hara, the me which is the sar shivya. You know, I have a question for you, sar shivya: what makes bread?

# The Bread and the Yeast

But is the bread the yeast? If I were to make a cheshbon, you ready? I once thought about this. Everything has to be thought through; even the language Chazal use has to be interpreted.

The yetzer hara is called *se’ar she’be’isa*. Tell me: if someone wants to eat bread, which part of the bread is really the bread? The bread, not the yeast, not the *se’ar*, right? What does all the activity of the bread? What creates the bread and makes the bread and gives it its *se’ar*? If you think about it, the whole structure and all of that is about the *se’ar*, yet it has nothing to do with the bread. It has nothing to do with the bread. The bread is not that.

That is what we tell the Yid. What you see externally, what you see in what we do, has nothing to do with us. It is an ingredient within us that causes what we look like, what we sound like, and our activity. Do you know what the *se’ar* does? It is active yeast. You ever see what it is called? I don’t know if you know. You go to a store, it is called active yeast—active. You know why? Because it is active. It doesn’t stop for a second. Active.

# A Chavrusa with the Yetzer Hara

I’ll tell you a nice ma’aseh my zeide told me over. Rav Hutner, zt”l, came to Slabodka. The policy in Slabodka was that you had to learn with a chavrusa. Rav Hutner didn’t want to learn with a chavrusa. He was that type of person; he wanted to learn by himself. So my zeide was sitting at the table when the Alter came over and said, “Chavrusa? That’s the policy. You have to learn with a chavrusa.”

So Rav Hutner said, “I am learning with a chavrusa.” The Alter looks around: “Where? Where is your chavrusa?” Rav Hutner responds, “I’m learning with my yetzer hara. He’s my chavrusa.” The Alter looks around. “He’s much smarter than me, and he never, ever misses. Best chavrusa you could ask for.” In Yiddish he said, “He never misses. He never misses a day.”

My zeide told me that when the Alter heard this, he saw right where Rav Hutner was going. There was a ga’on over there. He was telling him, you know who it is—never mind the person. It’s not the person; it’s the yetzer hara. He’s active. He comes all the time. He doesn’t miss. He’s easy. But that’s not you. That’s not you. Who is you? You is the yetzer hara.

And that only a Yid has: a Yid is able to say, there are two people in me. There are two people in me. There is the yetzer hara that you put there, and then there is the me. So when we come to the Ribbono Shel Olam on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we tell the Ribbono Shel Olam, judge me by *asher hu sham*. Why *asher hu sham*? What’s going on inside me—the Yid in me. You have to be able to show the Ribbono Shel Olam, tap in: this is the Yid, this is this. This is the *b’shaviso Shivya u’vachsa*, crying to connect with the Ribbono Shel Olam. That’s who I really am. And meila, all the chata’im, everything that you see, let it go.

# L’mancha Elokim Chayim

I’m going to end with the following word, rabbi Yisrael: *l’mancha Elokim chayim*. U’bali mussar, and u’bali ashra’ah, will talk that the yesod of ha’avodah on Rosh Hashanah, for whatever you ask, is *l’mancha Elokim chayim*. You should ask for You, Ribbono Shel Olam—for You. I’m not asking for myself; I’m asking for You. What does it mean, I’m asking for You? What’s *l’mancha*? What do I mean by asking for life—for You?

Okay. There is a me’uredek word from Rav Chatzka Levenstein, beautiful, classic. You know, in the parashah it says that if you do shiluach haken, the next thing is you’ll have a house. That’s the next parashah. You’ll do a mak, you’ll birth, and then the next thing is you’ll have a field. Don’t plow together, *shor v’chamor yachda*. Shalom.

# Mitzvah Goreres Mitzvah and Gashmiyus

One thing leads to another: shiluach haken to a house, a house to a field, a field to a what? Mitzvah goreres mitzvah. But Reb Chatzko asks: why does mitzvah goreres mitzvah have to mean a house? Maybe mitzvah goreres mitzvah means that I will learn, which will lead me to David, which will lead me to Dutztok. How did the house and the field, the physical things, come into the discussion of mitzvah goreres mitzvah? That is a perfect question.

The Torah is teaching us what gashmiyus is. What is it? Gashmiyus in the context of a mitzvah is real gashmiyus. Gashmiyus not for a mitzvah is not really gashmiyus. What does that mean? He says the following.

# Rav Yisrael Salanter’s View of the World

Rav Yisrael Salanter used to say that the world should be viewed as an expensive, luxurious, five-star hotel. What did he mean by that? Rav Yisrael Salanter said: I’ll explain what I mean. The world has some truly beautiful gashmiyus, five-star, full of beauty and physical pleasure. The only problem is, do you know what it means to pay? How much money do you have to pay to be in a five-star hotel? You have to work three years to save enough money to be in a five-star hotel for one minute.

# A Maiseh in Washington, DC

I’ll tell you a nice maiseh. Are you ready for a good maiseh? Mitzat Tzelt, that Rabbarin, zt”l, Yeshiva Rabbarin, used to go around collecting for Lakewood. He went with Tzivyat, who used to be the executive director for Lakewood Yeshiva. Once they went to Washington, DC, to meet a few rich baalei batim who would give them money for the yeshiva. They rented a hotel room, not even a hotel, a motel, just to be yotzei, just to sleep in a room—one room for both of them.

They came to Washington, but it didn’t work out. This baal habayis was busy, and that baal habayis, eh. Today, Rabbarin, okay, with those, eh. He had a hard time, like every other. He went here, tomorrow, later. By the end of the day, when they were ready to go to sleep, to expire for the night, whatever the expression is, they came to the motel. There was a misunderstanding, and there was no room available. They thought the reservation hadn’t been made. No room. What do we do? Down the block is the five-star hotel, or whatever it was. Go get a room over there.

They came over there. The amount of money they had to pay for one room was unbelievable. They had no choice. This was it. They were sleeping on a park bench. So they took the room and came into it. They sat down on the beds. Zivyak starts to krechts, as they say in Yiddish: a wasted day, what a difficult day. And on top of everything, look how much money the hotel had to cost us. At the end of a miserable day, this was the cherry on top of the cake. I had to pay for such a room.

Rabbarin was laughing, like the Gemara with it, tzechikim uvechaykim, right? With the Gemara in Makkos. He was laughing, laughing his head off. So Zivyak says, well, yeshiva, what are you laughing about? I’ll tell you what I’m laughing about. You see these beds, right? You see this room? Why do people pay $500 a night for such a room? Because it’s in Washington, DC, and they are thinking this is a luxurious five-star hotel. You know which presidents and prime ministers slept here before? So people are willing to pay $500 to $1,000 a night for a room.

If they would only know that two schleppers from Lakewood slept here last night on these beds, could you imagine how they would eat themselves up? $500, $1,000 for the room, and two schleppers from Lakewood come in. I slept in these beds. So Rabbarin was laughing at the irony of the situation. In Washington, DC, the hotels—yes, this is the president, yes, yes, they tell you all the shmues who slept here. But if the people after us would only know that two schleppers from Lakewood slept here, don’t be sleeping here.

The point is that a five-star hotel is a hoitzach, yes?

# The Cost of Olam HaZeh

This world is a five-star hotel. You pay. There are many ways to pay, right? There are many ways to pay. You can pay with money. The Brisker Rav used to say that the cheapest way to pay for things in this world is with money. That is the cheapest method of payment, because unfortunately people pay with other things. People pay with health, with life, with children. Sometimes you get this, but you do not get that. Sometimes it is a trade-off. Or sometimes it costs on the hegemony of Torah. A person is not learning; he is busy making money so he can have Olam HaZeh. So it comes out that he had to give up a lot of Olam HaBa to pay for his Olam HaZeh.

Yeshayah used to tell us this, and my father says it, Yom HaRach Yom always says over this thing. Chutz Chaim would say, “I don’t like Olam HaZeh.” Of course I don’t mind. I have nothing against Olam HaZeh. I wouldn’t mind. But people think Olam HaZeh is no good. Not that it is good — it is very good — but the question is, at what price? It is not worth it. The price that you ask for this is just not worth it. It is just not worth it.

Chafetz Chaim would say that a person creates his lot in Olam HaBa. A person learns a blatt Gemara. How much is it worth? There is no price tag on it. So who puts the price tag on how much Olam HaBa you get? You yourself do it, says the Chafetz Chaim. We go and we say: how much were you ready to give up for this blatt Gemara? How much was it? A hundred dollars? Some people would give up the blatt Gemara for ten dollars. You know what the Ribbono Shel Olam says? You learned the blatt Gemara; I’ll give you ten dollars. Okay, no problem. Some people would say, even if you give me ten thousand dollars, I am not going to give it up. My seder is my learning. So you know what he comes and says? That hour of learning is worth ten thousand dollars. So when you come to Olam HaBa, they say: okay, one hour of learning, ten thousand dollars. A person creates the price for Olam HaBa.

## The Company Analogy

Now let us go back. Let us say a person wants a house, a field, and a wife. That is an expensive endeavor for Zacharia Pachatzko. You know how much you have to pay for that stuff? What are you talking about? How much money and ruchniyus are you giving up? Who knows how much Olam HaBa you are giving up. There is a solution. What is the solution?

When a person goes into a firm, he goes to work for a company. So you know what the baal habos says? Okay, go make yourself a coffee. Sit down. He makes a coffee, he sits down. Then the baal habos tells him: okay, put down a dollar for the coffee. What are you talking about? I am a company employee. It is for the company employees, right? This is true not only by a coffee benefit; it is all benefits. Who is going to give him the car? The company. He is working for the company, so he gets a company car. A house — he has to get it, so the company gets him his house. Insurance, life insurance — it is all from the company, right? I mean, again, I am not talking about a joke company, but normally a company comes with benefits, right? I do not know what it is called in Israel. You are on the tab. You are on the tab of the baal habos, right?

Says Rav Chatzkel, the same thing works by mitzvos. The same thing works by mitzvos. You are on the tab of the baal habos. Meaning, if you come and try to do mitzvos, and you are doing it for the Ribbono Shel Olam, the baal habos gives you all the benefits: house, what? Says Rav Chatzkel, that is the pshat, l’mancha Elokainu. I want to work on Your payroll. I want to be on Your payroll, the Ribbono Shel Olam. I want to work for You. Your company should be toin on mitzvos. Your company should be toin on mitzvos. That is what I want.

So this is the pshat, Rabbeinu say, l’mancha Elokainu. What am I trying to bring out? I am trying to bring out the following: a Yid lives differently than a goy. A goy, Olam HaZeh.

# Olam HaZeh and What We באמת Want

He’ll do mitzvos in Olam HaZeh, yes, he’ll be kind; it’s possible, right? So his life, who he is, is Olam HaZeh, and in that he can change—to behave like this, to behave like that, to eat the other way around. He looks at Olam HaZeh, the Eibershter, the mitzvos and the Torah; that’s called Olam HaZeh. The benefits are only benefits to do it. It’s an order, so she should be able to go do the mitzvos.

So we come to the Eibershter and we tell the Ribono Shel Olam: who am I? You know what the “I” is? The “I” was not the “I” that ran around doing and looking for gashmiyus. That wasn’t the “I.” I was the source of the eisav for draining me a cup to run after all this. What I want is—this is all I want, this is all you want.

I’m going to give you a mussar, which is maybe not so, so to speak, a little, they call it sichas chutz. How many times does a wife tell her husband, “You think I want the present? You think that’s what I need? You think I want from you the diamond ring? I want you. I don’t want the ring.” It’s not about the ring; it’s about you. Ani l’dodi v’dodi li—that’s all we want. We don’t want anything else.

You’re right, we come and we ask. It’s possible we’ll ask for Elokim Chaim, for “l’ma’ancha,” because actually through that we can get to You. Elokim Chaim—it’s not the Chaim that we’re asking for, it’s the l’ma’ancha that we’re asking for. What we want is ani l’dodi v’dodi li. That’s what we really want, and that’s what the “me” in me wants. What is me? What do I want? That’s what I want. I want ani l’dodi v’dodi li.

# A Story About Rav Zev Edelman

I’ll tell you my story; this I’ll tell you. There was a big tzaddik in Eretz Yisrael, Rav Zev Edelman, a tzaddik. I was lucky to know him. Later on, after he was niftar, they put out a book about him called The Edelman—that was the name of the book. He was very adin nefesh; he was a tzaddik. People used to go to him for brachos. If I’m not mistaken, Rav Gershon or Shimon Panovich is his brother—if I’m not mistaken, Rav Gershon Edelman. Edelstein, maybe; I’m sorry. Edelman was a big tzaddik. Okay, I’m sorry, it’s a different one—Edelstein, okay. I used to go to him to get brachos when I was in Eretz Yisrael.

So there’s a story in the book that there was a Rav Nasser Kayin, who, before Rosh Hashanah, was sitting in the Ponevezh Rosh Yeshiva, waiting for the yom to come, for Rosh Hashanah to come. And he said he felt that he still needed more chizuk and more inyanim of Rosh Hashanah; he wasn’t there yet. He said, “You know, I’m going to go to Rav Zev Edelman down the block from the yeshiva, and I’ll ask him to give me mussar and chizuk for Rosh Hashanah.”

He went to the door; Rav Zev brought him in. He asked Rav Zev, “Give me mussar and chizuk for Rosh Hashanah.” So Rav Zev Edelman said—he writes that he felt very disappointed, you know, he was waiting for something. “That’s all you have to say about Rosh Hashanah? That’s it? That’s the whole Rosh Hashanah?”

Then he writes that when he went to shul a few minutes later, Rav Zev went to shul. He understood the entire way Rav Zev Edelman was singing to himself, crying: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li, ani l’dodi v’dodi li—singing and crying. And then he turns around to Rav Nasser and he says, “But now there’s another half hour, twenty minutes, for the ani l’dodi v’dodi li.” It’s almost over; Rosh Hashanah comes, it’s the next month. So the ani l’dodi of Elul—that’s all we want yet? That’s it? In one sentence.

You’re right, we do need other things that we’re asking for, that’s all around.

# Reaching the Anil Ad-Daidi

In order to get to the Anil Ad-Daidi, because that is where he would be. U'bakhsah v'savir v'sim. Why do we cry for him? Mr. Abraham Stevenson.

In essence, he is strong. To let the id from within you identify, to tap into it, to let it come out, to let it express itself—the longing, the Anil Ad-Daidi v'daidili that it is asking for—to express itself in the time of Elul as we prepare ourselves for Rosh Hashanah.