Toldos: Kol Yaakov, Speaking B’Nachas, and the Middah of Respectful Speech

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. Shalom Aleichem and Bruchim Habaim. Parshas Toldos. At the end of the parsha, we have the brachos that Yitzchak Avinu gives to Yaakov. Originally, he wanted to give it to Esav, and Yaakov, b'mirmah, as Rashi and Chazal translate mirmah, b'chachmah, with wisdom, he was able to snatch the brachos away from Esav, and he got it, and Esav lost it. It was done through a system of him coming and acting like Esav. He was there to present himself as Esav, and this is the instructions of his mother: You come in, present yourself as Esav. The brachos will be given to you. The pasuk says that Yitzchak right away caught Yaakov Avinu in this trick, in his acting. Why? The pasuk says, Vayomer Yaakov el aviv, Kum na, shevah. Father, please get up. Na, please get up, and I'll give you to eat. Na, please? Is this Esav talking? This doesn't sound like Esav, says Rashi, in the name of the Chazal on pasuk chof-beis. Esav says, Yakum avi. Yaakov, he doesn't say no. He doesn't say please. This sounds like Yaakov. Says Rashi, na is lashon tachnunim. It's a humble, it's a sweet way of talking, and this has nothing to do with Esav. Only Yaakov speaks like this, and it is this that prompts Yitzchak to comment and to wonder, Hakol kol Yaakov. This is the voice of Yaakov. This is not the voice of Esav, because Esav doesn't say na. He doesn't say please. The difference between a Yaakov and an Esav: na, lashon tachnunim. L'choira, the question is obvious. Yaakov came in there to act like Esav. He was trying to hide himself as Esav. Wasn't he smart enough to not use the word please? If commonly and regularly Esav would never say the word please, that's not Esav's way of talking, so why would Yaakov give it away right away, as soon as he comes in? Kum na, mi'ai. He could have thought it through a little more. He could have been a little more better on his acting. Why would he say na? Why would he come in and give it right away, away? As I always say, the chatzeichel Yaakov Avinu. Na is not the language of an Esav. Why is Yaakov saying na? So the teretz might be based in the words of Chazal. Chazal seem to say that he actually wanted to get caught. Here was his trick to succeed. His acting, he wanted to be a bad act that he should get caught. He didn't want that he should take the brachos. His mother sent him. She told him he's got to do this, but this didn't sit well on Yankif, fooling his father Yitzchak. Lai is was not for him. This was not. And Yiddishak was going kingesheft for him. There's a very famous goyin, a beautiful goyin. We find two words which mean the same thing. We find the word ulai and the word pen. Pen means maybe, and ulai means maybe. So why two words for the same meaning? Says the goyin, pen means maybe, hopefully it won't happen. Pen yasuru m'vavcha, that the Torah will be removed from you. That's pen. Pen tavod elohim acherim. You might go and do avodah zarah. Pen tavod elohim acherim. You might go do avodah zarah. So it's also pen. That pen is, I hope it doesn't happen. That's not a pen that I want to happen. At the same time, we have a pen.

That maybe, but we want it to happen. For example, ulai. Ulai lo yisoveh ha'ish laleches acharai. Maybe the woman won't go. Eliezer was hoping that she wouldn't come, and therefore he would be able to have his daughter marry Yitzchak. So that's an ulai, maybe, hopefully won't. So we have a pen, maybe and hopefully not, and an ulai, maybe and hopefully yes. Let's see the wording of Yaakov Avinu. Ulai yemusheni avi, v'hayisi b'einav k'mitatea. He doesn't say pen yemusheni. He says ulai. Ulai, like we said, means, I hope that it happens. Why would he say ulai? Maybe the father will feel me up, realize that I am not Esav but Yaakov. So he should have said pen, maybe, and I don't want it to happen. And the answer is, like the way Chazal tell us, it was ulai, and he was hoping that it would happen, because he didn't want to go through with it. He was hoping to get caught. According to this, it makes sense. He comes in and he gives it right away away. He speaks na, Yaakov Avinu's language, and that is the way he was trying to get caught. We could say another teretz. The Beis Halevi asks an interesting kasha, and with this he says a very interesting pshat. The Beis Halevi asks. If Yitzchak comments, if Yitzchak is wondering, Hakol kol Yaakov, and the yadayim is the ידי עשיו, so why does he give him the brachos? Then there's a problem. If it's kol kol Yaakov, then he shouldn't be giving him the brachos. He should investigate more. How do you give the brachos if it's hakol kol Yaakov? Red flags are going up, hakol kol Yaakov. So why does he continue and straight away give the bracha? Says Beis Halevi, hakol kol Yaakov was the reason that he gave him the bracha. Esav was very smart, and Esav knew that his brother is very smart. And these two brothers, they were always one step ahead of each other, and they were always choishesh and choshed. And because of this, they always took measures that they should be one step ahead of each other. Says Beis Halevi, Esav told Yitzchak, this might happen. I know he already stole my bechorah. He might come to steal my brachos. So if he comes in and he sounds like Esav, then you know it's Yaakov. So what we're going to do is we're going to play a little trick, and that is I'll come in sounding like Yaakov, and then you'll know it's Esav. So if someone comes in sounding like Esav, you'll know that it's really Yaakov and not Esav. And if he comes in sounding like Yaakov... I'll play the part of Yaakov, and then you'll know it's really me, Esav. So the minute Yaakov comes in and doesn't sound like Esav, all of a sudden Yitzchak says, Wow, hakol kol Yaakov, not in wonder and not in question, but in statement. Great, hakol kol Yaakov v'hayadayim yedei Esav, and therefore he gives the bracha, because he sounds like Yaakov, which was the, in Yiddish, the opmach. This is what they made up amongst each other. Yaakov knew this. So he knows not to sound like Esav, but to sound like Yaakov, because that was the agreement. Okay, so this we understand now why Yaakov sounds like Esav. The problem with this pshat in the Beis Halevi, we need to understand why is Esav sounding not like Yaakov? He should have came in and yes say no. Yaakov comes in and sounds like Yaakov because he knows that's the way to get the brachos. But why is Esav sounding like Esav? He should have said please. He should have sounded like—

Yaakov. The teretz may be possibly, and I've said this many a time, the real pshat is Yaakov can't sound like Esav, and Esav can't sound like Yaakov. Yaakov's speech is deeper than the words he uses. It's who he is. And Esav is Esav. They can't be out of script. It's mechanished. Yaakov comes in, maybe he's trying to be Esav, possibly, but he can't do it. He speaks nah. That's the way he talks. Esav comes in, he sees that, wait a second, there's food. What's going— oh, oh, oh, oh. He loses himself for a second even, and then he goes back to being himself, and he can't say the word nah. Yaakov, nah is deeper than the word please. It's who he is. It's his essence. It's his middos. It's his eidelkeit, while Esav doesn't have it. I've always pointed out, I think it's a mefurash in Eretz Kedaita, learn it up in the pesukim and in the Rashi. He actually says Shem Shamayim. He says, Ki hikra Hashem. He mentions Hashem. Rashi points out that Yitzchak faked himself. Wait a minute, Esav doesn't say Shem Hashem. Esav doesn't mention Baruch Hashem and im yirtzeh Hashem. That's not the way he talks. So this sends off red, you know, red signs, red flags in his mind. Yet when it says, Hakol kol Yaakov, Rashi doesn't go back to say because he said the Shem Hashem, but rather because he says no lashon tachnunim. I would have expected Rashi to say both: the fact that he says Shem Hashem and no, that's the kol Yaakov. And the Teretz is, yes, we know in the yeshivas, kol Yaakov is about Torah and tefillah, but there's a pshat tovah. What is kol Yaakov? It's the eidelkeit of Noach. It's not about saying Baruch Hashem. Yes, it's also Yaakov says Baruch Hashem, yes, but you see from Rashi, you see clearly from Rashi, that Rashi is, in the name of the Chanchuma, the Medrash, that what is the kol Yaakov? What is the divide between the way Yaakov speaks? We just learned in the previous Rashi that Yaakov says Hikra Hashem while Esav wouldn't say it, but that's not the final stamp of what makes kol Yaakov. It's not the ruchniyistic things that he speaks about. It's not the Ribbono Shel Olam that's shogar al piv, but it's the eidelkeit. It's the soft talk. It's the derech eretz. It's the nachas, the way he speaks, the please. You know, we grew up, the mothers always told the children, Please. It's a lot more than just the word please. It's deep into the middos of Klal Yisrael. There's a lashon tachnunim. There's respect. There's humility in saying please, and it's so important that this is the divide. You see Chazal are telling us the Yitzchak is farteitching the chiluk between kol Yaakov and yadayim yedei Esav is in this please. Zeide, Rav Shmuel Dovid Walkin zatzal used to point out, it's in his sefarim. Wait a minute. How could Chazal, how could Rashi bring a Tanchuma that Esav doesn't say please, while in this week's parsha he does say please? He comes back min hasadeh, v'hu ayeif. He sees Yaakov Avinu is cooking lentils, because Avraham Avinu was niftar and yesudas havra'ah is supposed to be lentils, and he tells Yaakov Avinu, he reaches out to him and he asks him, Haliteini na, na min ha'adom ha'adom hazeh. Zogt the Dachyadna? He does, he says na. How could Chazal say, Whoa, Yitzchak is saying na is not something that Esav says? Well, you see, he does say it. Zogt the zeide, yavad ben adafepes. When he wants something, he knows how to say please. When he wants the lentils from Yaakov, he's smart enough to say please. It's on the regular basis where he's not trying to get on the good side of people, to get something out of them, to politically be correct and nice, to be chonef. There's no please over there. Now where is this na rooted from? Where does it come from?

How does this kall Yaakov, how does one have children that have eidelkeit, that say please? Now, of course, you could scream at them, You need to say please, and you could say, I won't give it to you till you say please. You know, that's not by example. That's telling them what to do, and that doesn't always work if the parents are not saying please. You could force your kid to say it. It's not the way it becomes part of your children's language and personality. It's in the home. It's the way the parents speak, badinus, with a lashon no, with a lashon tachnunim. If you'll notice how many times in this parsha, right here in this story, as Yitzchak speaks to Yaakov and Esav, and as Rivka speaks to Yaakov, every time they ask, it's with the word na, and the Torah goes out of its way to stress this. I've noticed it. Why is it so? Just say what they ask. You have to say that they said the word na. You look at pasuk gimmel: V'atah sa na kelicha. Yitzchak tells Esav, sa na. So later we're going to learn that maybe this na doesn't mean please, but it means now. We'll soon learn it's a machlokes in the mefarshim. But pashut, this is, you have enough. V'atah sa na kelicha. Take your arrow and your bow and go get me something to eat. You look further in pasuk tes. In pasuk tes, Lech na el hatzon. Rivka tells Yaakov, Lech na el hatzon. Again, the word na. You look further in pasuk chaf aleph. Pasuk chaf aleph says, the heilige Torah, Chaf aleph: Vayomer Yitzchak Yaakov gishah na v'amushcha bni. Again, na. You look further in pasuk chaf zayin. Vayigash vayishak. Vayomer elav Yitzchak, gishah na ushkah li bni. Again, na, na, na. Always the word na. Pasuk chaf vav: Vayomer el Yitzchak aviv, gishah na ushkah li bni. No extra words in the Torah. And here, the conversations, the word na keeps on popping up. And the answer is, this is the way they spoke in the home: na, na, na. Let's go back to the first na. Actually, the first na was where Yitzchak—let's pay attention here. Vayikach Yitzchak... Vayomer elav, bni. Vayomer, hinei na zakanti. That's in pasuk beis. He begins the conversation, na zakanti, and here na can mean please, but it means now. Here now, I am old. It's time for me to give you the bracha. Right away in pasuk gimmel continues, v'atah, which translated is now. So na—so what's that na? Na means now. Tell me, rabosai, here: Vayomer, hinei na. Now, now. Okay, it's now. V'ata now, sona now? You already said now. So if you look at that in the Ramban and most of the Rishonim, they say no here means now. But it says already v'ata now. It's a double lashon of now, almost to say is now now, like fist fist. You ever see when you talk to your child and you want him to go fast, you go, Now, now. You emphasize and you stress and you repeat, quickly, quickly, okay? And that's how the Targum translates. Gimel, pasuk gimel, k'an sav k'an. K'an means now, sav means to take. K'an now, zainach your sword and your bow and get me to eat. The Maskil l'David, Rav David Perdo says no, that the na here is not now. So na means please, please go and take your hunting gear and get me to eat, get me something to eat. And his proof is because it already says v'ata. So it can't be now if he already said now, which already is the Rashbam's question. The Rashbam says we find this, we find by Sarah, Avraham Avinu tells Sarah.

Ata hinei no yadati. So you see clearly, ata no, which both places, both times it means now. So you see there is such a thing as saying now, now. Says Maskil l'David, I disagree. I think it means please, not like the Targum. And he says a very interesting, insightful pshat in Rashi. What does sonna mean? Sonna means, as the Targum says, take your hunting gear and get me to eat. Rashi says it means hashchazas sakin, which means please sharpen the knife to make sure the food is going to be glatt kosher, chalak, glatt kosher. The knife should be sharp. On that it's possible to say no, please. Why? Because says the Maskil l'David, if it means just bring me to eat, go out and hunt and bring, why would he say no? He's a father. He could just say, Get me something to eat. Your father has to say please? He has to plead and beg from his child to bring him food, to bring him what to eat? And especially, says Maskil l'David, it was for his benefit, because through this he would get the brachos. So why is he pleading? You have to plead with your child to eat ice cream. He likes ice cream. You have to plead with him to eat his vegetables. Das yea. But you don't have to plead with him to eat the ice cream, that if he eats his ice cream he'll go out and he'll get chves go for recess, he'll go out to play in the backyard. You have to plead with him? He wants to do it. Here too, you have to plead to bring supper? Father asks for supper, and that's why he says Rashi learns that it's going on hashchazas sakin, to make sure it's kosher, and that he had to plead with Esav, that he needs to plead with Esav. Esav's the kashrus was not exactly on par, and he's chashud to serve his father something which is not kosher, and as Chazal say, he actually did. He brought him dog. He brought him dog. You know, it's, Esav is not—he has no qualms of bringing his father something which is treif, so therefore, na please. Good? Meyridike pshat. So according to Rashi—I'm sorry, according to the Targum, sa na means na, now. V'ata now, sa na now. According to the maskil l'David, Rav David Perdo, the word v'ata is now; sa na means please. Please be makpid on the kashrus. Why does he feel that Rashi had to say it's about the kashrus? Because you don't have to beg, say the word na, when you talk to your son to ask him to bring you food. Yet I found something interesting in the Chofetz Chaim, Hadrachos of chinuch, of how parents should talk to children. Says the Chofetz Chaim, a father should never directly command his son to do something. Don't say, You have to, You should. It's kibud av va'em. Don't talk like that. Even though he has to do it, say please. Speak with soft, with love. Request him. Make it something that you're requesting and that he's fulfilling your request, and this is how you talk b'noyam u'v'nachas. And I believe that that's pshat in all these pesukim, including when Yitzchok asks and speaks to Esav, the way the Matzludavid learns for a supper, he still says please. Because even when you ask something that your son should do, it's please, all right? How many of you here tonight are going to change your way of speaking? Could you please go to sleep? Could you please do your homework? Okay, maybe the sleeping and homework is for him; it's not for you. Maybe there's a chiluk there a little bit, maybe, maybe. If it's something for you, you say, Please bring me. Don't say, Bring me. You have to bring me, kibud av va'em. Or maybe every time you talk to your son, it's, Please go to sleep, and please get dressed, and please do your homework. It's a tall order. It's going to change the tone in every Jewish home. But possibly the Torah is going out of its way to madgish, to emphasize how many times the word no was used. Let's talk broader: what it means to speak like a Yid, what it means to speak softly, what it means to speak respectfully to people. Here we have respect even to children, even to your own child. Talk to him with derech eretz, lashon tachnunim.

This is the Kol Yaakov. Let's see more how Yaakov Avinu, the Kol Yaakov, is with everyone. In next week's parasha, Parshas Vayeitzei, Yaakov Avinu comes to the town of Lavan, and he wants to ask the people for location, direction: where is Lavan? And he opens his remarks by telling them, the ro'im, the people who were shepherds, Achai, me'ayin atem? Chumcharan, or maybe you know Lavan. Why is it important that in the Torah, Achai? Why does he speak that way? They're really his brothers. You meet a guy in the street, and he tells you, You're my brother, you start thinking, you know, what does the guy want from me? You got to start thinking, you know, I got to run away from this guy. This guy's a little bit too close for comfort. He might be, you know, he might be bothering me. Maybe he wants to rob me. What's this Achai? Why is he talking so nicely to me? And it's in the Torah. The Torah felt necessary, l'doiros, for generations, that we should hear the opening remarks that he said, Achai. Baalei mussar say there's a reason why he spoke Achai and why it's in the Torah. He gives the mussar. He's rebuking them. You know, you're leaving work early. It's not honest, ethical work. You have to work. The day's not over. Tell me, if you walked over to somebody and started meddling in his business about when he comes home or when he works and how he works, you know that he would show you the door and scream at you, None of your business. What are you meddling in my business for? Who are you? Who do you think you are? Say Bali Mussar, the Achai was the key. Once he spoke Achai, once his opening statements were Achai, he had the platform to be able to give the mussar. When you speak gently to somebody, his ears open, his heart opens, and you're able to tell him, you're able to rebuke him, you're able to guide him. I saw, though, another pshat why he speaks Achai, and possibly this is why it's in the Torah to be read and learnt l'doros. The Ralbag, it's in the Netziv, but before him, the Ralbag is a rishon, he also says this pshat. Says the Netziv, and before him the Ralbag, this is to teach us the kol Yaakov. How does Yaakov speak to people? And the answer is, Achai, nachas, adinus. That's why he talked to everybody. A ben Torah, someone who learns, his language has to be eloquent, respectful. It has to be gentle. Kol Yaakov of Torah, kol Yaakov of tefillah is also kol Yaakov of the lashon tachnunim and na, Achai. It speaks deeply to the person. People say, What are in words? Yes, there's a lot in words: the person's personality, the person's religion, and the person's toichen is a ben Torah is in his language, how he speaks. I would like to draw your attention to the Iggeres HaRamban, famous Iggeres HaRamban. Tizaher ledaber kol devarecha l'chol adam, uvechol eis b'nachas. Be careful to speak all your words, not sometimes nice and sometimes angry. No, all your words to all people, everyone, not only to big people, even to simple people. Uvechol eis, all times, even when they get you angry, even when they get under your skin. Tizaher ledaber kol devarecha l'chol adam, uvechol eis, nachas, adinus. The opening statement of the Iggeres HaRamban, his advice is language, how you speak, adinus, nachas, l'chol adam, all your words, bechol eis. Mashgiach, Meran, the mashgiach Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel, tzaddik livrachah.

And, as a bakfogel, he was attached to these words of the Ramban. This was very common on his tongue, to always speak about this Ramban. The sefarim of the Mashgiach write, Leket Rishimos Elul Yamim Noraim, page kuf chaf, how the Mashgiach was very attached to these words. This was to him one of the loftiest of goals that he kept on being doresh; he was moning it from people. It says over there that they once asked the Mashgiach, French jury, a lot of it is far from Torah, a lot of Yidden in France, and they have an opportunity to write in the French newspapers something about Yiddishkeit. It's Shabbos teshuva, like this. This could be words of chizuk, of aseres yemei teshuva. We have the opportunity that thousands are going to read it because they read these secular French newspapers. What should they write? It has to be short and to the point, something that could be a Shabbos teshuva drasha to the French secular Yidden. What should we write? What do you think he told them to write? Tizaher ledaber kol varech, the words of the Ramban. Shabbos teshuva. You see, this to the Mashgiach was Shabbos teshuva. Did he write about doing teshuva? No. He wrote to them about—he wanted the message to get out to them. A Yid talks like this. And this is the, to him, as the Ramban actually continues, is the yesod of everything. Because through that you won't get angry, through that you'll have anavah, and through that you'll have yiras Shamayim. It all leads to yiras Shamayim if you talk, the way you speak. If you're soft in your speech, you will have yiras Shamayim. And to the mashgiach, this was a miut hamachzik es hamerubah, so much contained in this sentence that this should have been the Shabbos Teshuvah drasha. Well, they told him that it's a very tall order. You can ask for everyone to speak all the time, everything that they say to everyone. Who could do that? You're asking too much. We got to tone it down. So he tells, you know what, then if the way you're saying it, and you need something more applicable, then I guess let's go to Plan B. What you should write is what the Gra says, what the heilige Gaon writes: Shekol yamav tzarich adam lisyaser. A person has to work on himself, but not with taaniyos, not with fasting, and not with sigufim, but rather, esem piv v'ta'avosav. Control your mouth and control your desires. And that was the Shabbos Teshuvah drasha for the French people in the newspaper. Interesting, there is some mekor for this in the words of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter in Ohr Yisrael. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter writes that one of the avodos that are important, that Aseres Yemei Teshuvah—we think Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is to do big teshuvah and kaporos and chveis groise inyonim—Rabbi Yisrael Salanter says, please work on something, and that is, when you see people, when your friends, the people around you, on Aseres Yemei Teshuvah, you need to speak softly and kindly and warmly, b'nachas, b'sever panim yafos, because— A person during the Aseres Yemei Teshuva might be, as they say, is angishtrengt, which means he's extremely stressed out because of the fear and the pachad. You might come to speak in a somewhat on-edge tone to your friend, and you got to work on that to make sure in Aseres Yemei Teshuva you don't have it. So you start to see that ledaber b'nachas, as an avodah in Aseres Yemei Teshuva, is already rooted. It's already merumaz. It's already a mekor in the words of the Reb Yisroel Salanter himself in Or Yisrael. Aseres Yemei Teshuva, people are on edge. That's for you. That's the way you should feel inside between you and the Ribono Shel Olam. But the people around you don't have to feel that. You need to speak to them b'nachas uv'seiver panim yafos. In Leket Rishimos, limud haMussar, Avodas Hashem, it's another chelek, a volume of the mashgiach's sefarim that they put out from the mashgiach after he passed away. Page 45, they bring over there something interesting.

That, like we said, this was on the tongue of the Mashgiach always, this lizaher ledaber kol vorecha. He said even the children in the house, not only the grown-ups around him who wanted to learn from him mussar and hashkafah, even the little kids knew that this is what the Mashgiach was always telling them to repeat and to learn and to strive for, these words of the Iggeres Rabbanan. It says over there that when a kid would even raise his voice in the house, the Mashgiach would right away begin with the old famous niggun of mussar from Reb Yisrael Salanter, the famous accepted niggun that they would sing in the yeshivas: Tizaher ledaber kol vorecha b'nachas l'chol adam. This was a common song on the lips of the Mashgiach, especially in his home. Now what's so important of speaking softly, speaking humbly, speaking b'nachas? Why is that so important? What is the reason for this hanhaga? So the truth is, from the Ramban is mashma, as he says, it's m'midos ha'tovos. These are from the best attributes possible. Yet I want to quote a Chareidim. In Chareidim, perek lamed ches and lamed hei, Chareidim is a rishon, he says that it's actually mitzvas aseh, midivrei Kabbalah u'midivrei sofrim. It's almost like it's a mitzvah d'Rabbanan, hatluyos b'peh u'b'kaneh, which means the windpipe, which means speech, the mouth and speech, v'efshar l'kayem b'chol yom, and that is, yisnaheg adam ledaber b'nachas, adam yoshev k'medaber lifnei hamelech, sheyari l'harim kol lefanav, d'mei kol eretz k'vodo. So we have an interesting Chareidim, and that is that it's almost like a mitzvah, mitzvah d'rabbanan. It's not just v'hu mida tova, as the wording of the Ramban seems to imply. Now what is the reason of this midah of l'daber b'nachas according to the Chareidim? And the answer is, as he says, it's a tznius Hashem. Since the Ribono Shel Olam is everywhere, imagine the king is here. Would you yell in front of a king? So this is a humility in front of Hashem. The Ramban seems to learn it's humility. The person is humble; he doesn't yell. The Chareidim seem to say that the pshat is the Melech is here. Don't scream. You act polite in front of the king, and that's the reason to l'daber b'nachas. The Ramban wants that it should be nachas, so you'll come not to have kaas, and you'll have yiras Shamayim. But I saw an interesting Seforno. The Seforno on the pasuk in Koheles, Divrei chachamim b'nachas nishma'im. The words of the wise are spoken in nachas, in calm. Mitzakas moshel b'ksilim, the moshel, the tyrant, how does he rule? He rules with yelling, and that's foolish. Now if you read the words of the pasuk, Divrei chachamim, it's a wisdom thing. Wise people, they speak b'nachas. But it doesn't say nishmo'im, it doesn't say nemarim, but it says nishmo'im, which means that the people hear it. If you speak yelling, nobody hears you. If you speak b'nachas, nishmo'im, it gets heard. Tzaakas hamoichel, the moichel is a tyrant. He forces his way. B'ksilim, it doesn't really work. You could yell and scream, but no one hears you. That's how the Siforno explains the inyan and the importance of speaking b'nachas. Otherwise, you're talking to nobody. You have two people that are learning b'chavrusa, and each guy is yelling at each other. You know who they're talking to? Nobody. Nobody's talking to each other. They're yelling at each other, and no one's listening. So this is the reason, chachamim, it's a wisdom, it's a wise thing. So the Ramban, let's make a quick chazara. The Ramban seems to learn it's a good midah, that this midah will save you from kaas, which will make you be humble, which will bring you yiras Shamayim. The Chareidim seems to learn nachas is because מלוא כל הארץ כבודו. You're in the presence of Hashem, and in the presence of Hashem, one needs to speak politely and humbly. The Siforno seems to say that it's a chachmah; it's the way to communicate with...

People. Otherwise, nobody listens to anyone, and everyone's just yelling on top of the other. We find in the Archei Chaim Leharosh—it's another Rishon, the Rosh—he says a different pshat on why it's important. What is the inyan behind speaking b'nachas? I quote, Al tashmia bchutz kolecha, says the Rosh. Do not let your voice be heard outside. Sometimes the guy speaks so loud you can hear him. Guy's yelling in his car, you hear him from outside the car. Don't speak that loud. V'al titzaveach k'beheima. Do not yell like an animal. U'dvarecha yihyu b'nachas. So it's about your respect of the person. You have to behave as a human being, as a ben Torah for sure, but even as a regular person, because only animals scream. We were growing up, we grew up with Yiddish. Almost everything in Yiddish, the undertones are Torahdik. I used to say, Vashreis vi a beheima, vashreis vi a chaya. What, you speak like an animal for? Right? That's this Rosh. Only an animal screams. And it's interesting the Rambam brings it that way. Rambam, Hilchos De'os, perek hei, halacha zayin. De'os, perek hei, halacha zayin says Rambam, Talmid chacham lo yitza'ek v'tzaveach. Now it's interesting, he speaks about a talmid chacham, and as he does most of the middos tovos in Hilchos De'os, he attaches it to the way of a talmid chacham, and we've spoken about this in the past. It's for sure a talmid chacham, even more so a talmid chacham. A talmid chacham is supposed to be an example for others, but it doesn't mean just because, well, I'm not a talmid chacham, it doesn't apply to me. Should be a talmid chacham. Should behave like a talmid chacham. All right? So the talmid chacham lo yitza'ek v'tzaveach b'shas diburo. Keh, beheimos vechayos. V'lo yagbia kolo b'yoser, dibru b'nachas kol habriyos. You see clearly that, like the Rosh, the Rambam learned that the inyan of speaking b'nachas, a mensch, a mensch, a mensch, sheretz v'a mensch. Speak like a mensch. I would like to point out that we can actually say another pshat, which I did find in the Chareidim as well, and that is, it's not only for your respect that you should speak b'nachas, but it's for the respect of the other person too, when you talk to somebody. So either the b'nachas is the way you—it's about you—or it's about him. Chareidim. Chareidim says, the dibur b'nachas is nichlal b'mitzvas v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. So it's about how you respect another person. So here we've given the different pshatim and the different reasoning on why it's so important, why kol Kol Yaakov means. This is it. This is the kol Kol Yaakov. Of course, learning is Kol Yaakov and davening, but this is the divide that Yitzchak sees between Yaakov and Esav: the word na. It's in the adinus. The words are soft. They're respectful. Why is it so important to speak that way? As we said, either because humility, which will bring you to yiras Shamayim. Or because the Ribono Shel Olam is melameid, we have two pshatim now. Because shem shamayim is shagur al piv, that's why he speaks no. Maybe it's connected to two Rashis. Someone who always realizes Baruch Hashem and Chasdei Hashem, and the Ribono Shel Olam, the Ribono Shel Olam, what's he gonna speak respectfully, meloichol ha'aretz kevodo. And then we have the pshat of the Sifurna. We need to learn to talk to each other. How many times do we have people who speak at and not to, at and not to, at and not to? Screaming is at somebody. Speaking is to somebody. Ledaber kol devarecha b'nachas is divrei chachamim b'nachas nishma'im; they get heard. Mitzakas moishel, the tyrant, the ruler, he's yelling and screaming and no one's listening. And then we have respect for yourself. Don't be a beheima. Speak like an adam, like a mensch. You're not a chayah.

We have the chareidim, respect the person you're talking to, so speak b'nachas, with humility, l'chol adam. I'm going to end with the following, which I've seen quoted b'shem the Sefer Chassidim. It's brought in sefarim that the way you talk to others, the way you greet others, do you smile? Do you talk softly? That's exactly the way the malachei hashares will talk to you when you pass from this world to bring you to Gan Eden. They're going to send malachim, like in the hotels they usually send someone to escort you to your room, they're going to send malachim escorting you to Gan Eden. How would you like them to talk to you? B'nachas? Or you want them to tell you, What's going on with you? Come on, let's go, get up and go. The way you've spoken to others in this world, that is the way that you'll be spoken to. L'asid lavo, when Mashiach comes, Tizaher ledaber. After everything we just said, how it's kol Yaakov, and how this will be the way you're spoken to l'asid lavo, now take heed. Now work on Tizaher ledaber kol vorecha b'nachas l'chol adam uv'chol eis. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.