Va’eira: Leading B’Nachas, Giving Kavod Even to Pharaoh, and the Power of Words

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. The parsha, Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe v'el Aharon, Vayetzavem el Bnei Yisrael v'el Pari melech Mitzrayim, lehotzi es Bnei Yisrael me'eretz Mitzrayim. The pasuk seems to say simply that there was a tzivui. The command was given to Moshe and Aharon for the Bnei Yisrael and to Pari to take out the Bnei Yisrael. What's the chiddush in this pasuk? It's already in the process of the hotza'ah that the Ribono Shel Olam sends Moshe and Aharon to take out the Bnei Yisrael. So what's the chiddush of this pasuk, and why now in the middle do we have a tzivui, Vayetzavem el Bnei Yisrael v'el Pari melech Mitzrayim, lehotzi es Bnei Yisrael me'eretz Mitzrayim? Rashi is masbir the pasuk. Rashi explains the pasuk that it's not a tzivui to take them out, but it's a tzivui on how to take them out. Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe v'el Aharon, Vayetzavem el Bnei Yisrael, tzivah aleihem lanhigam b'nachas v'lizbol osam. The way you're supposed to take them out is b'nachas, calm, patiently, v'lizbol osam, and to be sovel them, v'el Pari melech Mitzrayim. What about the tzivui to Paroi? Tzivam all of lachlik lei kavod bidivreihem. He was metzaveh Moshe and Aharon to respect Paroi when they talked to him. The Yerushalmi on this pasuk is doresh. The Yerushalmi, Rosh Hashanah, perek gimmel, halacha hei, says the Yerushalmi, Vayetzavem lohotzi es Bnei Yisrael. That's the parsha of shiluach avadim. In Parshas Mishpatim, the Ribbono Shel Olam teaches and commands Klal Yisrael that there's a parsha called avadim, and that is sheish shanim ya'avod, uvashvi'is yeitzei lachofshi chinam. This is Vayetzavem here in the pasuk; it was given here. This is the tzivui, lohotzi es Bnei Yisrael, the parsha of avadim. Why here? Why now? It's actually in Mishpatim. It was given in the parshas Mishpatim. What does it mean? What is the significance that this parsha of shiluach avadim is here now, Vayetzavem, a tzivui that was given over el Bnei Yisrael, el Pari melech Mitzrayim? The Meshech Chochmah says a me'oredike chiddush. Meshech Chochmah says because at this point, many of the shevatim had themselves Yiddishe slaves. So the parsha of shiluach avadim... Was said now, for now, not in context later, later generations. Right now, Vayitzavem el Bnei Yisrael taka lohotzi es Bnei Yisrael, the parashah of shiluach avadim, because if Yidden have avadim, how could we come and tell Parah, you must send out the avadim? Bnei Yisrael themselves had avadim from Bnei Yisrael. So that is the pshat. The Yerushalmi says, the Meshech Chochmah, Vayitzavem Bnei Yisrael, and this is why it had to be here and now, in this juncture of Yetzias Mitzrayim. Baalei mussar learn this Yerushalmi and the pshat in the Yerushalmi actually in context of future, future generations. It's taka the parashah of shiluach avadim, of Parashas Mishpatim, not nogea to right here. So why was it given, Vayitzavem, here? Say baalei mussar, the Ribbono Shel Olam wants that we should remember what it felt like to be an eved, what it feels like to be promised cheirus. Moshe was supposed to go and teach Klal Yisrael, you farshteyt vos es feels, you feel it, you understand it.

Bimekabel it from this understanding, with this memory in mind, like this you'll keep it. A mensch fühlt es alein. When you yourself feel it, you went through it yourself. So if you mekabel it with that memory, with that feeling, then you'll be mekayem it taka. And that's why Vayitzaveim el Bnei Yisrael, the parsha of shiluach avadim here in Mitzrayim. Rabosai, efsher we could say another pshat, another deher why the parsha of shiluach avadim was given, was told to be said over to Klal Yisrael here. Let's begin with an interesting ha'arah that the mefarshim talk about. Vayitzavem el Bnei Yisrael, tzivah aleihem lanhigam b'nachas v'lizbol osam. Das farshteit: you deal with Klal Yisrael, it has to be with nachas, with patience, with respect, to be soivel them. Al pari melech Mitzrayim tzivah olav lachlik lei kavod favos? Favos zol men mechabed zayn Pari? What's the tzivui, the emphasis? You must be mechabed Pari. The Ramshik, Talmid of Chasam Sofer, al haTorah asks, a rasha, why does he deserve this kavod? Why is Ribono Shel Olam being metzaveh Moshe Aharon to mechabed azam mensch, az a rasha, vi Pari? The Maram Shik says a chidush, rabosai, hafla vefela. Zogt the Maram Shik. L'maaseh, kumt dem kavod because Paroi was machbid es ha'avodah. He overworked them, and because he overworked them, it led to that Klal Yisroel left Mitzrayim quicker, faster. Koved avodah, koshi avodah, kumt dem kavod of them. A chiddush nifla from the Ramshik, that Paroi deserves to be given his due respect for being machbid, for overburdening us, because retroactively this caused that we should leave earlier. A meyredige chiddush. I saw a pshat from one of the Spinka Rebbes in the sefer Imrei Yosef. The reason to be mechabed Paroi, there's a pasuk, Lifnei shever ga'on. The Ribono Shel Olam sometimes takes a rasha and He builds him up in order his fall should be much harder and much bigger. Haman, the Ribono Shel Olam built up Haman so his fall, his mapalah, is much greater. Zogt Imrei Yosef, Spinka, tzadik livrachah, from the Spinka Rebbes, that that's the pshat in being mechabed Paroi; it's a chelek of the makkos. It's another form of the makah. It's another mahalach in the makah, to build him up, be mechabed him, and then to be mashpil him. Magbia shefalim ad marom. Magbia, the Ribono Shel Olam picks up shefalim, but at the same time the Ribono Shel Olam is mashpil those that are resha'im ad ha'aretz. So to be mashpil, you got to pick them up high in order that the fall should be much greater. I saw a pshat in a sefer. It's an old sefer, many years back. I saw a pshat that he learns that if you're medayek in the words of the Rashi, מיושב מאליו, ויצוום אל בני ישראל, ציווה עליהם להנהיגם בנחת ולסבול אותם. To Klal Yisroel, the hanhaga has to be taka b'nachas. It has to be real. It has to be authentic. It has to be genuine. But בפרעה מלך מצרים ציווהו להלך לו כבוד בדברים, words, flattery. But deep down, as the Charasha ... it should be misaveh lachutz in your words, the way you talk to him, politically correct. You have to talk to him with respect. אבל למעשה, deep down, you should know who he is, and you shouldn't really have kavod for him. This is a sefer Shevet Yehuda from a few hundred years back. He says this pshat, and it's ... מדויק in the Rashi. שתי תוכניות: ציווה לו להלך לו כבוד, but ציווה לו להלך לו כבוד בדברים.

Most mefarshim say simply the reason to be mechabed Paroi was he was the melech, and there's a din and a chiyuv of kavod of malchus. True, Paroi is a rasha, and true, the malchus is a malchus shel akum. Nevertheless, it's malchus, and malchei akum, you're mechuyiv to be mechabed and treat them with respect. Gemara says in Brachos about it, vayaged adam, a person should go see malchei akum. There's a chiyuv to have an exaltation of malchei akum, respect them. Paroi rasha, and a chanami, of a melech, and there's a din and a chiyuv, kevod hamelucha, to Paroi. Shayle, rabosai, is why here? I mean, it's not the beginning of when he's going to speak to Paroi. He's already spoken to Paroi in the past. It's in the middle, it's in the middle of the halach yeilech, the back and forth. Why vayitzavem here, lachuk lo kavod b'divreihem? And even more, but we have to emphasize here, he taka was mechabed. Moshe did it on his own. In last week's parsha, perek hei, pasuk gimmel, Moshe says to Paroi, You have to let us go. We need to go to do this avodah that the Ribono Shel Olam wants, that we should come and nizbach and make a day of zvicha, because if not, pen yifga'einu... badever. Yifga'einu means us. Something bad will happen, some plague. Some misfortune will happen to us, says Rashi. He didn't mean us; he meant him. He meant something will happen to you, Pari, if you don't let us go. It doesn't say, pen yifgacha. It should have said yifgacha. Why does it say yifga'einu? Kavod hamalchus. He didn't want to disrespect him. He didn't want to point the finger at him and tell him, You, something bad will happen to you. So he said yifga'einu. So anyway, Moshe is treating Pari with respect. On his own, Moshe is doing it. Why the tzivui, and why now, in the middle of the shlichus? So efsher kemetzagen pshat, tava, pashut. Yeah, in the beginning he was mechabed him, but as the tachlich, and as the halachiyelech, the back and forth, the makkas, they're continuing, it gets harder and harder. As time goes on, the respect and the feel and the reverence falls away on its own. And maybe that's why yitzaveh. Yitzaveh is lashon ziruz always. Chazal, on the pasuk, Tzav es Bnei Yisrael, ein tzav elashon ziruz. He's being mezarez Moshe to continue. It's not being metzaveh him anew, but he's metzaveh him, mezarez him to continue being mechabed. Moshe, you're mechabed him, yeah? It gets harder with time. The more you deal with him, the less you want to respect him. Mechuyav to be mechabed him. Rabosai, efsher kemetzagen another taich. We could say another understanding in this vayitzavem. Here, now, there was a tzivui lachok lo kavod. Sfas Emes explains that this pasuk is actually an answer to what Moshe tained in the previous pasuk, pasuk Yud-Beis. Vayedaber Moshe lifnei Hashem leimor, Hein Bnei Yisrael lo sham'u elai, v'eich yishmaeni Paroh, va'ani aral sefasayim. I'm not heard, not understood, I'm talking. Not Paroh listens, not the Bnei Yisrael listen. Says Sfas Emes, this pasuk, Vayedaber Hashem, is connected to that taina, says the Ribono Shel Olam, they're not listening. The answer to the problem is, Vayetzavem Bnei Yisrael v'al Paroh melech Mitzrayim l'hotzi, just keep on doing it. Keep on speaking. You keep on following through with the shlichus. The dvar Hashem needs persistence. It's not always heard at first. It's not always accepted in the beginning. But if you keep up, if you keep on delivering dvar Hashem, it gets to where it's supposed to go. It's heard, it's nichnas la'lev, it goes to where it's supposed to go. We began the shiur by being me'oir, it doesn't say in the pasuk what's supposed to happen, just l'hotzi, to take them out. Yeah, we know that he was already commanded this shlichus to take them out.

Mr. saying the taich, there's taka nothing this chadish. There's nothing new in this pasuk. From Rashi we explain that Rashi is saying that it's how to take them out, because what was bothering Rashi is, to, to take them out is already said, it was already nitztaveh. Sfas Emes is saying, no, you can learn the pshatov in the pasuk. He's being commanded to take them out because Moshe's taineh, it's not working, so HaKadosh Baruch Hu just keep on doing it. Just keep on going to Paro and keep on talking to the Bnei Yisrael. So is always the dvar Hashem, rabosai, the dvar Hashem, dvarim. You got to be on message, got to repeat it. It's choider lalev. There's always hisnagdus to dvar Hashem. There's always hisnagdus to dvarim shebikdusha. The more kedusha, the more hisnagdus. The greater the gadol, the more hisnagdus sometimes, because he represents dvar Hashem. His words are the words of emes, they're the words of Torah, they're the words of the Ribono Shel Olam. And this world is not an olam ha'emes, and people, they deal with emes and sheker. It's something that they have to work on to be in a point of emes, in a state of mind of emes, to be mekabel the emes. So how does one... Get the message across. The Sfas Emes is telling us a very big yesod, that even Moshe needed this chizuk. Moshe needed to hear, how am I going to penetrate the message of the Ribono Shel Olam? The answer is, keep on doing it. Keep on saying it. And with this we could say, that's already pshat in Rashi too, Lanias daati, maybe Rashi is adding to the how. How could this dvar Hashem penetrate to people who don't listen? And the answer is, b'nachas u'v'sevel. Be patient. Speak with nachas, with gentle. Be gentle. Be persistent. Be soivel, patient, and lachlik l'kavod, with respect. This is how to deliver the dvar Hashem that it should taka be heard. So then Rashi, eino chanami, is the pshat in the l'hotzi. Take them out. How do I do it? How will I be able to get the message across? B'nachas u'v'sevel, u'v'lachlik l'kavod. Chamoydike lesson, rabosai. Rabbei, mechanchim, parents, it's not always on first opportunity people listen, even though you think, what do you mean? It's the chazak dvarim peshutim. Dvar Hashem, it's what the Torah says, it's so obvious, it makes sense. Yeah, maybe the more it makes sense. And the more it's klar and pashut is the reason why there is a blockage to hear it. How do you penetrate? Just keep on doing it. But it has to be b'nachas. It has to be gentle. It has to be b'savlanus, with patience, and it has to be b'kavod, with respect. Rabosai, let's go one step further. Let's go a little bit deeper. Mefarshim, baalei mussar ask, why is it in one tzivui? We have the tzivui of El Bnei Yisrael, and according to Rashi it means l'hanhig b'nachas v'zilzul, and then to Paroi, to kavod. So it's two different issues. It's nachas v'sevel to the Bnei Yisrael, and it's kavod to Paroi. Why is it put together, joined together as one tzivui? Vayetzavam el Bnei Yisrael, v'el Paroi melech Mitzrayim, ki'ilu it's all one thing. The way we're learning, gargeshmak, right? It's all about how to get the dvar Hashem, yes, to the Bnei Yisrael who are suffering, it's b'nachas u'v'sevel; to Paroi, who is a melech, it has to be b'kavod. But, rabosai, efsher k'mo zogn a bissel deeper. Moshe Rabbeinu is in a very difficult predicament.

Charged to be motzi Klal Yisrael, it's a big job, rabosai. We read it as a simple, you know, Moshe coming and going. It's an avodah. It's a schwer avodah, Moshe and Aharon. I'm sure there's a lot of fear involved, and there's a lot of tircha involved. It's a whole, the shlichus. On one hand, the Bnei Yisrael, they're not listening. There's a medrash on this pasuk: Bnei Yisrael are tarchanim. They're difficult. They're complaining. They're throwing stones at Moshe Rabbeinu. Moshe's not having any sipuk from this shlichus. And then he goes to Paro, and Paro is fedring him a kop, and Paro is lying to him, and Paro is undermining everything that he's saying. It's getting difficult. At some point, Moshe wants to talk tougher, speak his mind, maybe give a yell, a geshrei, to give back a good, v'mazakt in yid, a good tefrachsken panim. So here the Ribono Shel Olam is telling him, by this point, I think I have to be mezarez you, that it has to be with the hanhaga of the darkei haShem. Moshe, you represent the dvar Hashem. Dvar Hashem inherently is darkei noam. It's not a way, it's not even a condition on how to deliver the darkei Hashem. It is the darki Hashem. The darki Hashem is derech eretz, darkei noam. And Moshe Rabbeinu, if you represent the word of Hashem, you're the leader, you need to be in a state of mind and in a hanhaga of derech eretz, darkei noam. It has to be royal. It has to be menschlech. It has to be with adinus. And the meileh, to the Bnei Yisrael, you got to be soivel them. It has to be menachas. And to Paroi, it has to be kavod. So it's not two different things for two different people. To them, to the Bnei Yisrael, it's nachas and sevel, and to Paroi it's kavod. It's about you, Moshe. Vayedaber Hashem el Moshe v'el Aharon. It's a shmooze to Moshe and Aharon, how you, Moshe and Aharon, you need to be in an hanhaga of menschlechkeit, the epitome of oisgearbete middos toivos. And the meileh, it requires for these people, azanhaga for the Bnei Yisrael, azanhaga, and for Paroi, a kavod. Every person is entitled, rabosai, to be treated properly. Torah, as we soon get to speak, is mechayev that every person needs to be treated with his due respect, with his due entitlement of what he needs as a person. And if this person, Klal Yisroel, the Yid that's suffering, he needs nachas, he needs a gentle hanhaga, to speak to him gently. He needs savlonus. So that's what you have to do. V'zkumtem. Chelek of midos is to give every person his due. V'zkumtem. It's possible that the word vayitzavim—I saw many mefarshim learn vayitzavim is a lashon of tzavsa. It's chibur. It's how to get along with somebody. It's connecting with people. Vayitzavim. How do you connect? Vayitzavim. You need to connect with the Bnei Yisroel. You need to be mischaber as one person to another, and the way to do it is each person what he needs, and then you can connect to him. Vayitzavim u'vnei Yisroel, they need nachas and sevel, and Paroi, as the melech, he needs kavod. I want to share with you, rabosai, a profound story. It's a tremendous, a tremendous mind-changing story on how we view and how we look at things. A story from the Zeideh Zechutz.

Ad l'vracha, Reb Shmuel David Zeide zatzal. There was a friend of my zeide and his chaburah who was a loyed achar hakavod. He ran after kavod. Every opportunity he had to put his name out there, he was already there. Every opportunity where his picture could be, he was there. The friends, you know, they're friends. They took issue with it. Zei gebadet; it bothered them. So they turned to my zeide, knowing that my zeide would be able to talk to this person in a way that wouldn't kill him. He would, you know, give him the right dosage of mussar without destroying the person. So they turned to the zeide and said, Go speak with Ploni u'Ploni. He, rather, was a pretty famous rav. And my zeide spoke to him and says to him, Reb so-and-so, you know, redifas hakavod, leifs nach dem kavod, a bissel tzufil. People are mentioning that it's not so nice for you; it's not shain far dir. This person told my zeide something which really should open up our eyes, the way we see things and the way we behave with others. He said, Reb Shmuel David, vifl kinder hatt? How many children do you have? My zeide enumerated how many children he has. Reb Shmuel David does lust iber in der velt. You're leaving over these children. I have no children. The only thing I leave over in this world is my legacy. That's why I run after my kavod, after my legacy. Ich loz dos nor iber, but that's the only thing. Nor dos loz ich. That's the only thing I leave over in this world. My zeide understood the oimek kavod. This person really needs to be treated in such a way. My zeide went back to his friends and said, Freint, from here on in we are going to go out of our way. We're going to put the extra effort to be mechabed him, to give him the kavod that he sincerely and really needs. It's so important to him. Today, rabosai, you know, we're able to give tzedakah. Harbeh yayinim kavod, amol zech tzedakah. It becomes so difficult for us to open up our pockets of the heart to be mechabed another person. Maybe he needs it. That's something that this person is to him. It's as if giving him a drink of water. Would you deny a person who is telling you that he can't and he's choking, would you deny him the water? Of course not. So you have to deny him the kavod that he needs. This person needs the kavod. It's a tremendous amkus. It's a tremendous insight in hanhagas bein adam l'chaveiro. We have to start thinking, what does that person need? Maybe he needs a kind word. He needs a nachas. He needs a sevel. He needs a kavod. He needs these things. Derech Eretz, darchei noam. Derech haTorah is to give it to him. This is the way of Avrohom Yitzchok v'Yaakov, the Bnei Avrohom Yitzchok v'Yaakov. I once spoke to Rav Helman, zecher tzaddik livrachah. He was the menahel of Beis Yankiv, and I asked him, Tell me, Rav Helman, you were very close to my zeide. As a matter of fact, your wedding in Shanghai was in my zeide's apartment. A story for a different time, rabosai. Tell me about the zeide. Tell me a nice story. Like many Litvisha, Ich veis nish kein maises. He doesn't know any stories. Okay, shein. A lot of times there are people who are very good at telling stories. I don't know, the Amaleke Litvish, I don't know if they were so good at it. Al kol panim, he says to me, Whoever went over to him, der vos gekumen tzem, iz avek fun em b'simchah. He was always happy. The person walked away, tzufrieden. Why? Because the zeide always knew what to tell the person. He always knew what this guy needed. Some people needed a smile, and some people needed a tap on the...

A chizuk. Some people needed a sharp word. Everybody, what he needed, a little kavod, whatever it was that this person needed, Zeide was already, in his mind, on top of the situation to give it to him. This, rabosai, is the Vayitzaveh, Vayitzaveh el bnei Yisrael. What do they need? What do they need? Bnei Yisrael, they need nachas and kavod. Paroi, Paroi needs kavod. Rabosai, let me share with you an interesting das kenim miBaalei Tosafos. Das Kenim says in the beginning of Parshas Vaeira, Vayedaber Elokim el Moshe, Vayomer eilav, Ani Hashem. Shkoyach. Pshita. Stama, by this point Moshe knows, Ani Hashem, that the Ribono Shel Olam is the Ribono Shel Olam, Ani Hashem. So Rashi explains, Hashem, midas harachamim, ne'eman l'shalem schar tov l'meshalchim lefanai. It doesn't mean just simply Ani Hashem, but Ani Hashem. I am Hashem, the one who repays schar tov l'meshalchim lefanai. The das kenim miBaalei Tosafos say a different pshat. What does it mean, Ani Hashem? What is the Ribono Shel Olam saying when He says, Ani Hashem? Zogt the das kenim, Ki loimar, you know what I mean, Ani Hashem? I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what Ani Hashem. Af al פי שאמרתי לך, re'einas aticha el mefarei. Moshe, I told you that you are an Elokim. You're like a god to Paroi. Lo yata Elokim ki im l'Paroi. That's only to Paroi. Ach ani Hashem gam lecha. But to you, I am Hashem. Rabosai, Moshe needs this shmues. Moshe needs to be pre-warned. I gave you a kovid, aber, you shouldn't get to your head. זאלסט וויסן, אני ה', that I am the Ribono Shel Olam. The pelegedas keinim. Ani Hashem, Moshe, don't forget who the Ribono Shel Olam is. Veystach, du bist doch Elokim l'Paroi, bist doch a... Elokim, I made you an Elokim l'Paroi. Aber ani Hashem. Like the pasuk says, Rak hakisei egdal mimeka. I'm still the one who's in charge from above. I am the Hashem. Vos is der pshat? What is the kavana? What is the meaning? If you look in the pasuk, Hineni nosaticha Elokim l'Paroi. This is in perek zayin, pasuk aleph. Rashi says, l'radosoi. Elokim means I gave you the powers of being rodeh, being a punisher for Paroi. Rodeh means to chase after Paroi, to be rodeh him. Says Baal HaTosafos again, l'Paroi, rak l'Paroi, only to Paroi. What does that mean? What does the pasuk mean? What does the tzivui mean? And the answer is, you know, Rabosai. Our hanhaga with others is pre-manipulated in a way that we act in a way that we are above the other person. We want the other person to have respect for us. We want the other person to somewhat feel fearful from us. And we feel that this will grant us respect. This will grant us dignity, that the person will treat us b'derech kavod. If we cause the other person to be somewhat scared of us, to be afraid of us, then the person will treat us with respect. Hashem is telling Moshe Rabbeinu, that's not the hanhaga of one Yid to another Yid. Elohim, roideh, that you should be above and that you should treat him in a way that he's scared, that's only l'Paroi. But to everybody else, ani Hashem, you're like everybody else. You have no right to treat another person in a way that he feels below you, beneath you. You make him feel uncomfortable so he should respect you and fear you.

A roideh. The pasuk says, לְסָרְדוֹ בּוֹ אֶבְפָרֶךְ, וַאֲחֵיכֶם בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל. A yid is not allowed to treat another yid in a way that the person feels that you're being roideh him, that you are being me'ayem, you're scaring him. You're treating him like an upper class above him. Elohim, you're above Paroi, and you could treat him in a way that it's demeaning, in a way that you're enforcing your will on him. Roideh, but that's only l'Paroi. וַאֲחֵיכֶם בְּנֵי יִשְׂרָאֵל לֹא תִרְדֶּה בוֹ בְפָרֶךְ, and that's the Ani Hashem. You have no right to do this. A lot of times, a person, he's given the position where he is above; he's the boss. So what? So you're the boss. Therefore, you have to make the employees feel second-class citizens, and they should be afraid of you? It's not so poshut that that's mutar. Of course, there has to be the normal boss-employee relationship. Some of it is somewhat healthy and normal, but when it exceeds the norm, and you're doing it to make the person feel that you're above him and that he should be scared of you and that you're putting your weight around, you're pulling your weight around on him, דאס טאמען נישטאן. Elohim, נְשָׂאתִיךָ לְפַרְעֹה. But to everybody else, don't forget, Ani Hashem. There's only one boss. A yid has one boss only, the Ribono Shel Olam. And we are all what? Avadim to the Rabbeinu Shloilam, and there's no such a thing as avadim la'avadim, which, as we soon will see, is the parsha of shiluach avadim. We spoke, and how come Vayitzavem el Bnei Yisrael here now are we commanded, and then we're being told with the parsha of shiluach avadim, and the teretz is because that's part of Vayitzavem, Moshe. You have to treat the Bnei Yisrael b'nachas uv'sevel. You have to treat them b'nachas uv'sevel, Vayitzavem. And soon we can understand that the parsha of avadim is so interesting that the person stole, and he is the eved of this adon, yet the adon has to understand how this eved feels. How does this eved feel that he is an eved? He feels automatically second-class citizen, so you have to make him treat and treat him that he should feel that he's not a second-class citizen, if anything maybe even better than you. Kan eved, kan adon l'atzmi. The parsha of avadim is unique, the hashkafas haTorah on how to treat another human being, especially achecha Bnei Yisrael. The eved inherently in his position is the eved, yet he's not allowed to feel that he's a second-class citizen. You have one pillow, you give it to him. You treat him that he is like the adon. And maybe possibly you're the eved, understanding psychologically what this person is going to feel: the pain, the degradation, the bizayon that he feels. And he needs to be treated. He needs to be treated with dignity and respect. And that's the Vayitzavei. So verstehen vos der anderer mensch, how he needs to be treated. Klal Yisrael b'nachas u'v'sevel, parei with kovod. There's a very famous medrash. It's called Medrash Chibut HaKever. Chibut HaKever is when the person passes away, lo aleinu, v'lo aleichem. The procedure of misa and kevurah could be a very painful one. It's a painful experience, the neshama parting from the body. And there's a medrash that discusses what happens. Chibut HaKever, what happens? The Rishis Chochma brings it, the Igeres HaGra brings it, Igeres Ramban brings it. Chibut HaKever, the medrash says that the malach comes.

Comes to the person b'shaas his petirah and asks him the following question: Himlachta es chaveirecha b'nachas? Did you treat royally, himlachta, did you treat with kingship your friend with nachas, lashon Rashi, with nachas, with patience? Actually, there's two girsaos. There's one girsa, b'nachas. There's another girsa, b'nachas ruach. And I think the difference would be, did you treat him gently, or nachas ruach means did you give him nachas ruach? Did you make him walk away feeling good, like we spoke the story from the Zeidah, the person walked away feeling good. Either way, this is the question that's asked: Did you treat your friend like a king, himlachta, a king? He's not a king. Your friend is a king? Imagine the person walks around and says, You had to treat me like a king. Stand up for me, I'm a king. You'd laugh at him. Yeah, what, what, this guy is crazy. What are you talking about? Torah wants you to treat your friend, himlachta, with malchus, with royalty, with dignity. And we ask this from the person, himlachta es chaveirecha b'nachas. If the person says he did it, he treated his friend with malchus, with royalty, then the misa is painless. It's like taking a hair out of the milk, says the Medrash. It's that easy, without difficulty, without pain. And if not, then there's going to be a lot of pain. There's a beautiful story from the Alter from Kelm. Beautiful story. It brings out so profoundly this yesod of how we treat others. We make others feel uncomfortable. We make others feel scared of us. The Alter from Kelm was sitting at a table with a few guests. In the olden days, people would have a bell on the table, and when they needed the mesharis, the person who was serving, to come and bring a tea or a coffee, you would ring the bell, and the person would come. The Alter rang the bell. He had guests. He wanted that the mesharis should bring tea and coffee, and the mesharis, man, lady, I don't know who it was, but either way, the mesharis didn't come. The Alter rang the bell again, and nobody, the mesharis didn't come. A third time, the people said, Why don't you go and tell off the mesharis? It's his job. You're paying him or her. You're paying them to do this work. Are you talking? You're summoning them and they don't come. The Alter said, I'm very happy. I always worry that maybe they're coming to do my need, my request from fear. They're scared. I'm the Alter and I'm the boss, and therefore I feel very uncomfortable and very unease, without ease, to ask them. Now that I see that I call them and I summon them one, two, three, and they don't come, so that means they're not afraid of me. And now I feel comfortable to ask them to do the errands and the chores in the house. It's tifa deher. Yes, that's the job. But it doesn't mean that the person has to be terrified of you or to feel uneased and uncomfortable around you. B'nachas. Around you, people need to feel comfortable. They need to feel good about themselves. And this is himlachta es chaveirecha b'nachas. This is the parsha of avadim. The eved is not allowed to feel that he's an eved. He's not allowed to feel inadequate. He's not allowed to feel uncomfortable. He's not allowed to feel second-class citizen. V'hitzavim al Bnei Yisrael, v'al Pari Melech Mitzrayim l'hotzi es Bnei Yisrael me'eretz Mitzrayim. The Medrash Tehillim, kuf yud gimmel, says something interesting.

You know, we all know the famous story medrash, Paroi in the middle of the night with his pajamas. Every kid sings it by the seder. Every mora teaches it to the children. The story of Paroi coming in the middle of the night in his pajamas. I'm not so sure where they got the pajamas from. I don't see where it's in the Chazal. Maybe they are illustrating the kamei mitaseh. The lashon of the Chazal is that he got up from his bed. So kamei mitaseh, מסתמא he was wearing pajamas. Mechateis, efsher, azam ishugena, דער עצה חיין איז מלך. He went to sleep with his bigdei malchus. Ich weiss. I don't know exactly where the pajamas is rooted, a makor in Chazal. Chveis nisht. But whatever it is, everyone knows, and every child sings, Paroi comes in the middle of the night, and he tells Moshe Rabbeinu, Okay, leave Mitzrayim. The Medrash says actually that Moshe responds to Paroi, Shoiteh atah. You're an idiot. In the middle of the night you come to me? Were we not sleeping? You want us to leave? People should leave in the middle of the night? They're sleeping. Shoiteh, you're an idiot. Mechayer, the kashya is, what do you do? Tziva aleihem lahanhigem b'nachas, v'loz b'Pari melech Mitzrayim, tzivum lachlik lei kavod. At the das of the kavod, maybe today, ich weiss, to call somebody a shoiteh is a kavod, ich weiss. The Gemara zogt doch that Paroi, that Achashverosh was a melech shoteh. Mechayer, it's a derogatory thing. I don't think it's a title of endearment. So shoiteh, a shoiteh is doch nisht kein kavod. So what's the pshat in tziva lachlik lei kavod, and yet Moshe Rabbeinu calls Paroi shoiteh. There's a Nachal Kedumim, the Chida. He says that in Parshas Boi, the hanhaga, the approach that Moshe takes with Pari changes. The Chida says, Boi el Paroi, ki — boi, ois beis, boi. The first letter is a boi. El, an aleph. Paroi, pei. Ki is a chaf. Beapecha. From here on in, he had to show anger when dealing with Pari. The problem with this pshat, we find later on in Perek Yud Aleph, pasuk hei, when Moshe tells Pari in advance that that's going to happen, that you're going to come down to my, so to speak, apartment. You'll come down to the front door of my house, and you will tell us to leave. It says in the pasuk, V'yardu kol avadecha eileh elai. Avadecha, your servants, says Rashi in the name of the Chazal, he actually meant you, not your servants. You, Pari. You, Pari yourself will come. But since he had to treat Pari with respect, to show kavod, to tell him, You, Pari Melech, will come to the front of my apartment, to my house. So he said, V'yardu kol avadecha. Yeah, but I thought, Chida, you're telling me that from Parshas Boi, the hanhaga changes, that here, from here on in, he's not respecting Pari. Boi el Paroi, ki, Rashi teives beapecha. And yet we see that he talks to him with derech eretz. Yardu kal avadecha, not you, but avadecha. The Chidah himself actually asks this kasha in פני דוד, quoting a Gemara in Zevachim, kuf beis amud aleph, that when Moshe Rabbeinu leaves the house of Parai, he smacks Parai on his face. K'sheyatza Moshe, sotzrei al panav. Moshe smacks, Moshe smacks Parai. Zogt the Chidah, shekrei kavod mistama to smack a melech. So how could it be, tziva lachach lo kavod, וירדו כל עבדיך אלי, why he talks to him with derech eretz, yet he smacks him, yet he calls him a shaita? Zogt the Chidah, it's muchach that these are different midrashim, and we can't reconcile these two pshatim. Either according to one mahalach, he had to treat him with respect even after Parshas Bo, and according to the other mahalach, he didn't have to treat...

Even with respect, the opposite, he had to treat him bapecha with anger and frustration. Rabosai, efsher k'min zogn a pshat. Efsher, efsher. Avadeh bapecha, he had to treat him with anger, and he had to show him, so to speak, a cold shoulder and a sour face. Ober, tze mevazeh zayn that he's not the melech, dos darf nisht. Avodecha, you're still the melech. Even in the message, even in his delivery, there was anger, and there was belittlement on who he was. He could have been a shayteh, all of us chasheteh. This kid's still to be the melech. He could be a melech shayteh. Look at Achashverosh. Ken zayn a melech, ken zayn a shayteh. Sasrei al panav? Nu, efsher. Ober to say you're not the melech anymore, that's killing him. Thus, that's undermining who the whole person is. Un dos hot er nisht getart. Veyardu kol avadecha eileh eilai. He's still the melech, and it's his avadim. He had to deliver the message as angry as tough as it could be, and as grilling as it was. It could be grilling him terribly, but machnisht oys melech. Dos darf nisht ton, to mevatel a mensh in gantsn. Mi karoi u'mishrosho. To make him in ganzen ois what he is. Dos is hargenen em in ponim, and dos darf men nisht ton. That you don't want to do. It's such a tifa dehera, boysai, a tifa deher. You can embarrass. It's a terrible thing to embarrass somebody. It's a terrible thing to talk to somebody in a way that it's rough. And yes, till Parshas Bo, Moshe had no right to talk to Parah that way. It's true. But once it was hutar to talk b'apecha and to lay it on the line, so to speak, zogt zem in ponim, he's dafka zayn, aber machim nisht ois melech. Don't be mevatel him completely. Don't make him ois the mensh that he is. You know, rabosai, many people have this misconception that it's a good thing to say things as it is and tell a person to his face, you know, don't mince words, don't polish, say it as it is. They call themselves straight shooters. I don't know, they have all different terminology to excuse and beautify their anhogah, how this is mamash, shpitz, shpitz, shtoltz, whatever they call it today, I don't know. And what are they basing it on? Midas emes. They'll always scream at you, Ah, you're a chanfin. Yeah, you, yeah, you, you know. Zog the emes, midas emes, say it the way it is. I'd like to share with you, rabosai, a pshat, tells the Rosh Yeshiva. Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Bloch, zecher tzaddik livrachah, in Shurei Daas. Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Bloch, tells the Rosh Yeshiva, asks, Tzivah aleihem lahanhigam b'nachas uv'sevel. What's the chiddush? Moshe Rabbeinu has to be told to treat them b'nachas uv'sevel? That's the whole Moshe Rabbeinu, and that's why he was chosen to be the manhig, how he cared for Klal Yisrael. He still needs a zeirus. He still needs to be warned to treat them b'nachas uv'sevel, zogt Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Bloch zatzal. Maybe Moshe could come and say, Iskumt zei az mezol zei a bisl anshrein, unpatchen. Maybe it's, Iskumt, listen, we're coming to save you. We're doing so much for you, and you're still kvetching, and you're still being disrespectful. Pareh, Iskumt dir, zolt ihr mamish mashpil zayn ad oretz. Iskumt dir. Say it as is. No. That's the vayitzavem. Vayitzavem is that even though, theoretically, you might be right for thinking that you should do this.

Because this is what they deserve, but not necessarily this is what they need. Think of where they're coming from. That's a bracha. Nacha sevel, bisoivel them. They're suffering. You're right. What they're doing is wrong, and what they're doing maybe needs a good, even a good tongue lashing. Aber, as is is not always the way it's supposed to be said. Zeide zatzal, Reb Shmuel David, zicher tzaddik livracha, says that's the pshat in the double lashon: hanhigem b'nachas v'sevel. Nachas is enough. Just say it with patience, right? Nachas, gently. Sagt a zeide, amol nachas, and it still doesn't help, and they're still complaining, and they're still being disrespectful. That's when the sevel. That's when the savlanus kicks in. It's not enough to say, I treated them b'nachas. No, no. Yeah, even after the b'nachas, maybe it's a bracha, and they're still not getting it, and they're still not appreciating, so then savlanus is also needed. I was once speaking to a Rosh Yeshiva, Reb Reuven Feinstein shlita, my Rebbe, Reb Reuven shlita, and somebody mentioned to him, Rosh Yeshiva, it's a good hanhaga to say it as it is. Say it, a moment of... a moment of achein zogen. I'm saying it as it is. This is what the person said. A moment of achein zogen. Say it as is. He turned to me and he said, There's a whole world of people that want we should say it as is, not as the Torah wants, but as is. Just because as is doesn't mean that's what the Torah said that you should say it. Yeah, you say it as is, not as the Torah said you should say, but as is. I'm already getting the hair up. As is is not necessarily the way the Torah wants us to talk. You know, there's a very big yesod that baalei mussar speak. Pareh is being beaten up, iber in kop, makos iber in kop, shreklach. Yet what? Tziva aleihem lachlik lei kaved b'divreihem. That's what he needs. Mefchasketem fun ale zaytn, yeah. They're beating him up, with a smile, with a shmeichel. What does he have from them? So many makos, vas? Chas v'shalom, talk to him kindly, talk to him vas hataf from them. So there are two terutzim to the kasha, rabboisai. The first teretz that the mefarshim say is that's midas hadin al pi cheshbon. Makos kumt, ober mezalzel zayns kumt nisht. And the way we explain it, it's not stam a zilzul, not stam you're embarrassing him. You're undermining him. It's different. There's embarrassing and undermining, being mafrich, destroying the whole person, what he is. That, that he didn't deserve. And the midas hadin is such with a cheshbon. Till here, it's kumtem, makos kumtem. But after makos, mezalzel zayn, mevatel zayn, to make him oys, that doesn't come. There's another mahalach in the Sifrei Hamusar, based on a very interesting Zog. There was a saying in Europe, by the Musar quote, the saying: A klap fargeit, a vort shteyt. A klap fargeit means a hit, a bang, a punch, that's gonna pass. But a harsh word, that stays with you forever. Look back, rabboisai, look back. Sometimes people, it was rabbeim maybe, you got hit, you won't remember that. But if someone told you something that undermined you and hurt you, that stays with you forever and ever. Makis, yeah, a klap does fargeit. Mezalzel zayn, to mevatel a person, to say the wrong word, that stays forever and ever.

You know, the velt has a saying: sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt. I think that's coming from a goy, coming from the outside world. Yeah, because big deal what he said; his word means nothing. So the sticks and stones will probably cause more damage vos yener zogt. By Yidden, every word by a rebbe, by a father, a mother, by people who you're close to and their words mean something, it's not sticks and stones will break my bones and names will never hurt, and words will never hurt. It's not true. Words could hurt much more, and that's what we're learning over here. Moisher Rabbeinu, be careful b'divreihem. Be careful the words you use. You could show anger, yes, but remember the words, they're like knives. Hargenen em, dos tormen nisht. I'll share with you a story, a very interesting story. It was a very chashuve Yid that shared with me the following incident. Very interesting. He told me that he was in yeshiva when they brought my zeide, Reb Shmuel David zatzal, to give a bechinah to the young boys in the class. Most yeshivas do that. A lot of the reason for bringing chashuve rabbanim to give bechinos, A, it's for the talmidim, that they should be prepared, they should learn the chomer, they should learn the things that they have to know, and like this they'll get a test from a chashuve Yid. Well, be scared, so to speak, to learn what they have to learn. But it's also, in order to show off the yeshiva. It's another way of, oh, you see, look at our talmidim, look what they know. Ma meivin yavin ukiyadua. As Ada comes to the class, he sits next to the rebbe in the front of the class by the desk. And the custom at that time was that when a child knew the answer to the question that the rav, the guest rav, is asking, he would raise his hand and he would run up to the desk to answer by the front, by the rav and the rebbe at the front of the desk the answer. Nope. This person tells me that I, of course, you know me, he says, I like to answer right away, and I'm the loud one, and I have to show that I know. So he says, asked a question, and I raised my hand and I start running up to give the answer. I'm halfway to the desk, and I hear the way the rebbe, who was afraid of the answer I would give, and if it was the wrong answer, he would look bad and the class would look bad, so he whispers into your zeide's ear, Nu, ... kenen besser. That's all he said there, those warning my grandfather that if he says something, nu, nu, don't take it as a mirror of what's going on in the class. He says, I heard the rebbe say that, and I was so hurt. I was so hurt. That I was ready to run out of the class, take off my yarmulke, and it would literally shatter me and possibly take me off the derech. Yosef chapped, and Yosef realized what needed, what I needed at that moment. He understood. He knew the hanhaga, the words that this child needs now. And he said, Name, I'm b'nzicher, I'm for sure that he knows, and he probably knows better than everyone else in the class. Come here. And he said to me, Answer. And every question after that that the zeide asked, he addressed it directly to me. You come here, come here. You know the answer, the entire bechinah. He gave me first to answer, to show, yes, he's good and he knows, and he's azoi gut and a ken gut. He knew what I needed, and he saved. He saved me. He saved me. He was matzil nefesh achas miYisrael. Aboisai, sometimes simple, what we think, a word, gezagt, to be very careful. It can zayn sharfe vemeser. It can be hard.

Harder and more painful and more destructive. And this is the Vayitzaven al Bnei Yisrael, v'al Melech Mitzrayim l'hotzi es Bnei Yisrael miMitzrayim. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.