Vayechi: Yosef’s Forgiveness, the Brothers’ Fear, and the Power of Explicit Mechilah

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. Parshas Vayechi. After the burial of Yaakov Avinu, the Shvatim return back to Egypt, to Mitzrayim, and they begin to fall to the feet of Yosef, begging Yosef to forgive them, begging Yosef not to take revenge against them. L'choira, you have to understand what happened, that all of a sudden they had a fear, a panic, that Yosef would take revenge. Why all of a sudden, for so many years, everything was peaceful, everything was nice, it was warm. Why all of a sudden do we find that the Shvatim, in English we call, went into a frenzy, Oy, oy, now Yosef is going to come and return us bad and give us revenge, take revenge from us. What prompted, what prompted this reaction from the Shvatim? So, kipshuto, we have to say that they were afraid. That the only reason why Yosef didn't take revenge was because Yaakov was alive. They were thinking maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe it was the zechut and the honor of the father that prevented Yosef from taking revenge. So now that the father is not here, now Yaakov is being buried, so on the way back from the levayah they're afraid maybe, maybe, maybe it is the time that he's going to take revenge now. That's it. You know, Esav, lehavdil, also said, Yikrvu yemei evel avi, that I'm going to kill Yaakov when my father Yitzchak passes away. But he didn't want to do it while Yitzchak was alive. Maybe Yosef also was thinking, Yikrvu yemei evel avi, the time when my father passes away, that's when I'll take the revenge, maybe. And this explains why the shevatim give the message they give. What's the message? The message they give is, Avicha tzivah. Your father commanded that you should not take revenge, and because they're thinking maybe the whole reason why he's not doing anything till now is because of the honor of the father. So they're telling him, Avicha tzivah. Ke'ilu it's the tzavaah of the father, so the honor of the father still remains not to take revenge. Possible, possible. Lemaaseh, it's interesting, all the years. That Yosef and Yaakov were together in Mitzrayim, Yosef wasn't that close to his brothers. It says clearly that Yosef didn't invite the family, the brothers. Midrashim speak about this because there was issues with kavod hamalchus and kavod haabba. Yosef just stood away from Goshen. Yosef wasn't Ephraim. Ephraim used to go back and forth and be with Yaakov Avinu. It says in the pasuk in the beginning of this week's parsha that they were told, he was told, Yosef was informed that Yaakov is sick, so he goes to visit his father. It seems, and if you look at the Midrashim, it's pretty clear that Yosef stood away the entire time. So it could be the Shvatim felt that there was a distance. There was something still there that was bothering Yosef. He wasn't as warm as they thought he would be, and this caused them to have fear that after Yaakov died, that maybe he'll take revenge. Chazal do speak out that the fear was prompted by a story. There was something.

That happened that made them begin to be afraid, and this happened on the way back, on the way back from the funeral. And that is that he passed by the pit that he was thrown in, and he made a bracha, Baruch she'asah li nes bamakom hazeh. And because of this bracha, this blessing that he gave over the pit, it gave them the chash, it awoken in them a fear that maybe he's going to take revenge, maybe he's going to take revenge. So you see, Chazal already tried to find what prompted this fear. They do not say that what I said in the beginning, that it was maybe because of the father that he didn't take revenge, and now that he's not here he'll take revenge. They don't say that. Nor do they speak of the fact that Yosef was distant to them, but rather the fact that he made this bracha, which itself is tzarich iyun. It needs to be explained. What's wrong if he makes a bracha? I mean, he's supposed to make a bracha. A miracle happened to him. Why does it have to cause such fear making a bracha? He made a bracha, she'asah li nes. He's supposed to do that; that's halacha. So I've in the past given answers to this question, and I've said either, you know, it says that Yosef made this bracha on the way back from the funeral. Why did he not make it on the way there? So we gave many different answers. One answer is— Possibly the hidden cares by the pit on the way there. It's brought down. The Pardes Yosef speaks about it, that to a funeral you're supposed to go in one path, and when you come back you're supposed to take a different road, not the same road that you went. And he says why. Because you have to show that a funeral changes the person. He's not on the same path. A person in his life goes on one path; he goes to a funeral, it's supposed to affect you. Shinui hama'asim. So to commemorate and to remember and to remind and to make a siman of this, the custom is to take a different road back. It changed the man. It changed him. There's a change in the person. So it could be on the way in, they didn't pass by the pit. On the way back, they passed by the pit. I would say, more simple: on the way in he was onen. Onen is patur from mitzvahs. On the way back he wasn't onen anymore. That's it. He wasn't onen; he made the bracha. The problem with this here, the problem with this is that, l'choira, l'choira, it doesn't answer the original question. Why are they scared? Because he made the bracha. He was supposed to make the bracha. He was supposed to make this blessing. So I gave a third answer: why on the way back and not on the way in? And maybe, and maybe this answers this question as well. He was supposed to make the bracha, and the answer is, possibly he made the bracha twice. On the way there he made the bracha, but that he was supposed to. Then they saw that on the way back he again makes the bracha. Why does he make the bracha twice? Why is it that he's again? And the answer is because he's not forgetting. He can't let go of it, which means every time he passes by, this is on his mind that he has to make the bracha. So possibly this gave him the fear, the scare, that in the back of his mind it's always there. You know, when a person, something happened to him in his past, so he makes a blessing when he comes across it. But if it's on his mind constantly, so every time he remembers the story, he makes a praise, or he doesn't let it go. So it could be they felt that the fact that he made the bracha twice, on the way in and on the way back, it's a siman. It's a siman that in his mind. Or maybe I would say it a little different even, that could be on the way in he didn't make the bracha. Why not?

So the brother's figures he forgot about it. Then on the way back, he makes the bracha. Ah, on the way, now he's thinking about it, you see. Maybe that's the more accurate way of saying it. So again, you hear, we had a simple question. It says that the fact that he made the bracha over the pit, shasa li nes bamakom hazeh, that itself gave him the shevatim the scare that he's going to take revenge. So I ask you a question: he's supposed to make the bracha. So we gave an answer that possible, possible, we have to go back to the actual fear from what was it? I mean, he was afraid. Why didn't he make this bracha on the way in? Why does he only make it on the way back? So we gave two simple answers. One answer from the Pardes Yosef, because maybe they didn't pass by the pit on the way in. Or possibly a simple, more simpler answer is, lahalacha, אונס. He was patur, patur min hamitzvos. Then we said, could be, could be, on the way in he didn't make the bracha. He wasn't thinking about his story, he forgot. He passed by the pit, he forgot. So obviously it wasn't, he wasn't thinking about it. But then on the way back, they noticed that he did stop and make the bracha, which means now he's thinking about it. Ah, on the way back from the funeral he's thinking, he's probably thinking now it's time to take revenge. Or I would say a third pshat. Or fourth pshat, maybe it's already a fourth pshat. You know what I would say? When a person overlooks something that someone else did to him, you know what he thinks to himself? It's from Shamayim. That person was just a shliach. Why do we say you're not supposed to have kaas, take nekamah? It's k'ilu oved avodah zarah. Why? Because what is that guy? That guy was just a shliach. He was just a messenger. Hashem wanted it to happen, right? In the psyche of the person, if he realizes that hakol min haShamayim, he doesn't get so angry at the other guy. And the truth is, Yosef said this to his brothers in last week's parashah. He said, You didn't send me. Hashem sent me to Mitzrayim. You didn't sell me. It wasn't you. Who was it? It was Hashem who did it that we should have food. So then it has nothing to do with you. Hashem did this for the people. Hashem did it for Klal Yisrael. So how come when he passes by the pit, he makes a bracha, She'asa li nes bamakom hazeh? What do you mean, li? I thought it wasn't about you. I thought you said that you were just a puppet, so to speak. The Eibishter wanted that this should happen. The Eibishter wanted that there should be food for Klal Yisrael in the future, that they should be able to survive. So why do you come and make it personal, she'asa li? Li nes bamakom... Oh, so it is personal. Now I'm afraid you're taking the comma. The whole reason you explained to me that you're not going to be upset at us, the Shvatim, I say, you said because it wasn't about you, Hashem, in order to give food to Klal Yisrael. It was a miracle for the public. Now you come to the pit and you say, Barshasa li nes b'makom hazeh. So now you're obviously thinking, who is it? You're thinking that it's about you, that something personal. Now you're possible. The real answer to this question, rabosai, why they were afraid, if you look at Rabbeinu Bechaye, Rabbeinu Bechaye speaks out. He says, you know something interesting. It seems in this past week's parsha, Vayigash, that Yosef was mochel them, that Yosef forgave them, and he was mefayes, he consoled them. The Chazal, the Medrash speaks about that the same way Hashem—I'm sorry, Yosef—was mefayes, that Yosef consoled his brothers, Hashem emirtz Hashem l'atid lavo.

When Moshiach comes, we'll console Klal Yisroel. He'll be mefayes Klal Yisroel the same way. Yosef went out of his way tremendously, tremendous, to be mefayes his brothers, even after he gave them a hard time. Tremendous. Not once, three times he was mefayes, and they kept on getting scared and going backward. Why? We read this in this past week's parsha: Yeshunah, come close to me, and he hugs them and he kisses them. Says Rabbeinu Bechaye, but still, he never used the words, I'm mochel you. Says Rabbeinu Bechaye, this is why we have all the tzaros in Klal Yisroel: asar harugei malchus. Because if Yosef forgave them, why should there be asar harugei malchus? According to a Medrash, the story of Haman—the Medrash in Megillas Esther, the Medrash Rabbah, Megillas Esther—says that the story of Haman came because of that. Even the going down to Mitzrayim, according to many Midrashim, is because Galus Mitzrayim was because of mechiras Yosef. But he was mochel them. He says to them, I'm mochel you, I'm mochel you. The answer is, he was mefayes, but he wasn't mochel. So says Rabbeinu Bechaye in this week's parsha. So could be that's why they were still scared. You have to say— It says, says Rabbeinu Bechaye, that he didn't say, I'm mochel you. Now, what does Rabbeinu Bechaye mean? Maybe he just didn't say the words, I'm mochel you. That's a little bit difficult, because he didn't use those words. Whatever it is, it's a minute something, a minute lack of mechilah, something. And that little something caused galus Mitzrayim according to the Medrash. It caused Haman, the decree in the time of Haman. It, asser erugei malchut. Look how much he was mefayes otam. But he didn't say the words, I mochel you. And that's why, that's why at the end of this week's parashah, we find that they weren't a hundred percent. And I asked you, but he was so much mefayes otam. Yeah, mefayes. But he never used the words, machul lach, machul lach, machul. He didn't say it. So that possible, and probably, is the reason why at the end they were still, still not a hundred percent sure. Not a hundred percent sure with the mechilah, maybe. But I want to point out that this is a tremendous lesson on many levels, and I want to explain to you. You know, Yosef was called Yosef HaTzadik. As a matter of fact, the Tanach, in Tanach he's called tzaddik. In last week, or two weeks ago's Haftorah, we say, Ba'ad michram tzaddik, that the ta'ina, the complaint against the Jewish people is that for shoes they sold a tzaddik. We say it clearly in the Haftorah, michram tzaddik. You know, usually... We don't give big titles to people in Tanach. You know, Moshe Rabbeinu was never called HaRav HaGaon HaTzadik. Like today, you know, every person is HaGaon HaTzadik. Rabbeinu, Rabbeinu, Rashkebag. Moshe Rabbeinu is Moshe Rabbeinu. Even the word Rabbeinu doesn't say. It says, Vayomer Moshe, Vayomer Aharon. I guess the smaller you become, the more titles you need. You know, I don't know, maybe. The word tzaddik, today they use it about every person that learns Mussar: HaTzaddik, HaTzaddik. In Tanach, we only find one person that's called tzaddik: Yosef, the only person. So the truth is, I would say that even from Tanach it's not a proof that it's a title. Maybe the word tzaddik over there is telling that he was right. Michram tzaddik. Tzaddik doesn't have to mean that he was called a tzaddik. The complaint was they were macharef the tzaddik, someone who was right. They were wrong and he was right. Here the Torah says, Vitzdiku es hatzadik v'rish'u es harasha. There it means what? Tzaddik, that he's a tzaddik, that he's in the newspapers, that he's a Rashkebag, that he's a grand rav and a tzaddik? No, it means that he's right.

That they went, they took the person who was right and they made him wrong. That's what the pasuk is referring to. Mitzdiku es hatzadik v'hirshi'u es harasha, v'hayah bin nakot harasha. There doesn't mean tzaddik. Tzaddik is a righteous person; he didn't do anything wrong. Here too, maybe it means michram tzaddik, that they sold someone who was righteous. But we do find in the Ushpizin, in the Ushpizin, when we pray the tefillah inviting the guests into the sukkah, every one of the Avot, we give him a different title, and the title that's given to Yosef is Yosef Tzidkaya, Yosef the tzaddik. So you see that the word tzaddik is a title, a description of who he is, not just that he was right in the fight with his brothers. And this is found all over, that Yosef was called tzaddik. Why is he called tzaddik? So everybody knows, because he was... right? Everybody knows that, correct? Because he was able to withstand the temptations of ervah. But whatever it is, he's a tzaddik. Okay, this is what made him a tzaddik. You know, this is very true in the sefarim. That's what is brought down. But if you look at Chazal, I found in the words of Chazal a completely different reason why Yosef is called tzaddik, and it has nothing to do with Potipharah, and it has nothing to do with arayot and tzniut. It has nothing to do with that. You know why he's called a tzaddik, says the Medrash Hagadol? I once went and showed this to Rav Scheinberg shlita. I took this, and I found the mefarshim so excited. It was around Pesach time when I saw it, and he was here, and I ran to him and I said to him, Rosh Yeshiva, look at this. So he knew it already. You know, Rav Scheinberg, he says, Oh, I know it's a famous Medrash. He knew it, but it's not that famous because I don't think anybody else knows it. It's a Medrash Hagadol that says that the actions and behavior of Yosef in Parshas Vayigash, the way he consoled his brothers, the middos tovot that he personified, that he showed when he was trying to rebuild the relation, the achvah, the brotherhood with the brothers, when he was megaleh, when he revealed himself to his brothers, that is the reason why he's called tzaddik. And they quote the pasuk, the Medrash quotes the pasuk, Al michrom tzaddik, that you see he was a tzaddik. That over the mechirah he was called a tzaddik. Why was he called? Not because he was righteous, and he was right and they were wrong, but tzaddik because of the way he dealt with the mechirah. How did he deal with the mechirah? He didn't take it personal grudge, nothing. What did he do? He forgave them, and he was kind to them, and he was mefayes otam. That's why he was called a tzaddik. Now I want to show you how much, how much tzidkut Yosef showed when he revealed himself to his brothers. If you take a look at the parsha, you'll notice. That who was being mefayes who? Who was being— Yosef was being mefayes the brothers, right? As a matter of fact, Chazal tell us that HaKadosh Baruch Hu said He's going to take a lesson from Yosef. Just like you mefayes your brothers, I'm going to be mefayes Klal Yisrael, yeah? So I have a question for you, simple question. It should be the opposite. At this point, at this point, when they realized that Yosef, after everything that happened, look at Yosef. He was right, we were wrong. He was right, and we were wrong. You want to know something? It says clearly, pachan nishmatan. The Medrash says that they died from the story. And then there was techiyas hameisim. They should have came and realized, maaseh nisim. Take a look. Yosef, we were wrong. Let's go and be mefayes Yosef now. No. No. What happened? Yosef tells them, Come close, I'll be mefayes you. Why? So the truth is, in pshat we could say, there's a very nice Radak. The Radak says they froze. In English we say they were left speechless.

They were so shocked, and they were so ashamed that they couldn't talk. So Yosef took the initiative to be mefayes אותם. Someone had to break the ice. You're right. Who should have been mefayes? They should have been mefayes Yosef. Okay, you see, they died. Parchah nishmatan. They were frozen. They couldn't move. They couldn't say one word. So Yosef calls them over. All we could say a little bit sharper, Rabbar Benel says, that kasheh lo olam. This is the way of the world. You know what the way of the world is? That the person who did the avlah, the person who did the avlah, is not the mefayes. If you notice, it says over there that Yosef cried, vayevk, he cried. It says, Rabbar Benel, why did he cry, Yosef, and not the brothers? He says because that's the way of the world. The one who does the avlah, you don't cry that much. The guy who gets the avlah, the guy who's the recipient of the avlah, he cries. I like to give a nice mashal to this. There's a very famous story my grandfather used to say over, that there was once a din Torah, and the person was losing. He was losing the din Torah. So he goes to the dayan, and he tells the dayan, What can I do that you'll, you know, bend the din to my side? He tells him, The day of the psak halachah, take a check. Put it in an envelope. You wave the check, the envelope from the, from, you know, the back of the courtyard, the court, the beis din. This will remind me, and I'll bend the din towards your favor. Kachava, yeah, kachava. He takes an envelope and he starts waving it, and the dayan sees this and he says, You are patur and you are chayav. And nobody knows how could that be, that the case was going the other way. It was pretty clear the opposite. As they say goodbye, the guy slips the envelope to the dayan under the table. That's the end, you know, the din Torah. The dayan takes the envelope, walks into the side room, he opens up the envelope, and there's nothing inside. There's nothing in the envelope. He begins to scream, Oy lo basheker! What an olam, what a dishonest world we live in! Abarbanel is saying, You did something wrong to that guy. Who's the guy that's crying? The guy that's crying is when he gets it, not when he gives it. That's when he gets duped. When you get duped, all of a sudden it starts to hurt you. You say, But do the duping—it's nothing. Same thing, he's stealing the entire— that's nothing. All of a sudden it hurts him because he got duped. He's saying that Yosef was the recipient. The shevatim were the givers of the pain. They were the ones who caused it. So they should be the ones that's crying. The final, the last pshat, in the Shlah. The Shlah says, you know why Yosef cried and not the shevatim? Yosef was a mavril al midos. Instead of making it that they did something wrong, Yosef made them feel that he did something wrong. You hear what mavril al midos is? Yosef's tzidkus was to be mavir al hamidos, says the Shlah, that they should do the crying. What does he show them? He does the crying, that they should feel. What do you mean? You didn't do anything wrong. Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I'm the one that needs to cry here. I spoke lashon hara against you. I made you have jealousy. It's my fault, maybe. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. You know, it says in the Medrash that when Klal Yisroel will get redeemed by HaKadosh Baruch Hu, bivchi ovilam, bivchi, just like by Yosef, they were, they were...

Reunited with the brothers with tears, with crying. So too, bivchi, with tears, I shall bring them back and redeem them when Moshiach comes. It's a medrash. Says the Gemara, the Medrash, HaKadosh Baruch Hu says, I will redeem them with tears. The implication is who will do the crying? Hashem. Tami, why do I have Hashem cry? I need Hashem should cry when He takes me back. Well, what does He have to cry about? So you could come and say it's tears of joy, just like Yosef reunited with his brothers of tears of joy, so too the tears over here will be of joy. All right, maybe, maybe that's what Hashem... But still, why do I need the tears of Hashem? I need Hashem's tears. What does it mean? Unless it means with extreme warmth. Maybe that's what it means, that Hashem will redeem Klal Yisroel with an extreme warmth, will feel the geulah, that the Ribono Shel Olam is as if He's reunited, like Yosef was reunited with his brothers, such love and feeling of kesher, of relationship, till tears. Maybe that's what it means. I saw some mefarshim learn it's not going on Hashem's crying. It's going on Klal Yisroel is going to cry. Bivchi ovila means that Klal Yisroel is going to cry. What does it mean Klal Yisroel is going to cry? Eh? What does that mean, Klal Yisroel? That just like Yosef redeemed himself to his brothers through tears, so Klal Yisroel, when they get redeemed, they'll cry. What's the pshat in the crying? But this pshat that we're learning, the crying, crying means to show that they were responsible, that they're responsible. Yosef's responsible. He was the one who caused it. At the end of days, Klal Yisroel might come and say, Ah, look how much tzarus we went through. Good, Hashem, You're redeeming us. Why not? What did we do to cause all this galus? By that time, the galus could end in a way that we're going to even be upset at Hashem. Look, look how much tzarus we had to go through. Bivchiai vileim, that they'll cry because they'll realize that they were responsible for the galus, just like Yosef is crying to show and to personify that he was the one who brought out this tzarah. Bivchiai vileim. Say many mefarshim is the same pshat. Not Hashem will cry, that Klal Yisroel will cry, meaning they'll also understand and they'll also accept that they were the ones who גורם the galus in the first place. You know, if the galus ends, that we're angry at Hashem and that we're upset and we blame Hashem for the galus, like many have, unfortunately. When it came to the time of the Holocaust, many said, Hashem, how could You, and how could You, and you, and pointing a finger. The tzaddikim said, Don't point the finger to Hashem. Point the finger at yourself. Maybe you're the one who brought it about. Bevchioi vilei. He's saying this point, that when Moshiach comes, Klal Yisroel will cry. Crying is a sign of acceptance that maybe you're at fault, not the other party. Just like Yosef is showing that he might have been responsible, that he might have been responsible, not the brothers. And that's why he cries. He says, Hashem, when Moshiach comes, Klal Yisroel will have this attribute, that they'll too be able to admit, they too will be able to accept, they too will be able to see deeper than their own personal and understand that maybe it was them who caused the tzarah, them who caused the galus. And then, if so, it was worth, it was fair, it was just, the whole tzarah that they went through. Moiridike pshat, you hear? That Yosef hatzadik, like I tell you, Chazal are calling him a tzaddik because the way he accepted mechiras Yosef. He didn't blame the brothers. He was ma'aver al hamidos, to tell the brothers—

Possibly it's me. Maybe you're not at fault. Maybe I'm at fault. And the bechi, the crying, says the mefarshim, the Shlah and others, is a sign of acceptance that maybe you have some part in it, and therefore don't blame the other person. You're somewhat at fault also, and don't blame the other person. The commentaries justify when they call him a rodef, right? Yeah, I'm saying that point, that in his mind, in his mind, he was telling the brothers, what am I going to blame you for it? I also might have responsibility in it, and therefore I cry, bechi avileim. I will return them with bechi, that they too will accept responsibility in the galus. Beautiful, beautiful words. You know, when a person has an issue with another person, an achvah, a brotherly love between Jews becomes fractured, the tendency always is to blame the other person. That's the tendency. And it's always that the other guy is wrong, and he did this, and he... And never do we look in the mirror and think, what is it that we did that maybe caused it? And had we done that, and if we would do that, the machlokes, the rift, might have been healed. My grandfather, zichrono livracha, Shmuel Wolkin, was a moiridike, moiridike baal middos tovos, and an ish shalom, a very man of peace, got along with everybody. I once called up Rabbi Gavriel Ginsburg, zichrono livracha. He was a rav here in the neighborhood. Later on he became Rosh Yeshiva in Toronto, Rosh Yeshiva in, thank you so much, in Near Israel, Toronto. So I asked him, tell me about my grandfather. You lived on his block. Tell me about my grandfather. He says, Your grandfather was a person who you couldn't have a machlokes with. You couldn't fight with him. It was impossible to have any rift bein adam l'chaveiro with him. Why? He says, even if there was an issue that arose, he would make the person feel that it's not I, that I did something, meaning that person did something wrong, but that he did something wrong, and that he's apologizing. In every situation where maybe someone did something wrong to him, he gave the other person the feeling, you know what, maybe I did something wrong to you, and therefore I apologize. And he gave me a very interesting example. My grandfather opened up a small shul in two gardens. On the corner, they opened up a big yeshiva, Tiferes Moshe. Tiferes Moshe is a school for children, a day school for children, a yeshiva, a cheder. The people who wanted to open up the cheder came to my grandfather and asked permission, being it's on the same block. We were on the same block first. My nose is on the block of my grandfather said, Of course, it's a very good idea to open up this yeshiva, but I have to write a written agreement that you're not going to put a shul in there, because if you put a shul in there, it takes away my whole shul. You build a big building with this, who's going to come to my little shul? And they signed it. I don't know what happened, but they opened up the shul right away. And some time later, they took Rabbi Ginsburg. This Rabbi Ginsburg is the rav. And of course, when you have a big building, it ruins, take away the people from the small shul. So all the years, Rabbi Ginsburg told me he felt very bad, even though it wasn't him so much. He was holding a position where the shul was not so legal, it wasn't so right. He said that every Erev Yom Kippur he would come to my grandfather to ask mechilah. Maybe, maybe he did something wrong. Rabbi Ginsburg told me that every time I came, where I was supposed to be asking mechilah, that's what I came for. Your grandfather made me feel that not that he did something wrong, but—

But ad rabba, you're a tzaddik for coming to ask mechilah, and that, no, who said your synagogue is destroying my synagogue? Maybe the other way around. Maybe I'm taking away people from you, he said. Maybe I have to ask you mechilah, even though it was a joke. Rabbi Ginsburg told me that it was almost a joke, the whole thing. Instead of me having to beg that he should forgive me, he made me feel the opposite. Maybe, maybe, maybe, in some remote way, that he was taking away one person from his synagogue, and therefore he's asking him mechilah. He says with such an attitude, it was impossible to even fight with him, because in every rift, instead of blaming the other person, he took the blame. This we see from Yosef HaTzadik. We see from Yosef HaTzadik where the brothers should have taken responsibility, where the brothers should have came and fell to the floor and begged forgiveness, which they did later on. Later on they did that. But originally, what does Yosef do? No, come, you're my brother, and it's unbelievable, and you're great, and maybe it's my fault that I begin to cry, like the Rishonim tell us, because crying is a sign that he takes responsibility. That's called Yosef HaTzadik. Now you know why he was called. The Medrash says not because of eishes Potiphar. You want to know something? Eishes Potiphar, you're right, it's a tremendous thing, not easy to withstand. The temptation of arayos, but to give in to another person, and to not make machloikes, and to shut down your feelings and your emotions, and to be able to accept, to be able to accept that maybe the other person's right is even a greater shevirah. It's a greater—what's the word I'm looking for? Mesiras nefesh, a greater mesiras nefesh, maybe, in the story of Eishes Potifar, and that's why he's called Yosef HaTzadik. How many people you know that in the heat of a machloikes are able to stop and say, maybe, maybe, maybe that person has a point. Maybe that person is not 100% wrong, and I'm not 100% right. And because of that, stops, puts the brakes on a machloikes, puts the brakes on a rift, that's Yosef HaTzadik. For that, Chazal say he's a real tzaddik, and I'll tell you how far this goes. I have a question for you. You know, Yosef tells them, Ani Yosef, I am Yosef, asher mechartem osi, that you sold me. What happens when he says that? The pasuk says they were completely lost. They were shocked. Chazal tell us, Oylei liyom hadin, oylei liyom hatochachah, that this was a rebuke that even the great shevatim couldn't withstand, and that when Moshiach comes, la'asid lavo, Hashem will rebuke the same way the resha'im and those that did sin. And who's going to be able to withstand this rebuke by saying, Ani Yosef, ha'od avi chai, the tremendous rebuke? So what does he tell them when he sees that they're lost, that they're completely disheveled? Come close. Come close to me. And what does he tell them? The same thing again: Ani Yosef. Hasher mechartem oti. He says the same thing again. Understand? You know, could you imagine you tell something to somebody who, he can't take it. So you feel bad. What do you do? You come, come, come. And then you tell him the same thing again, again. It's a very evil trick here. You tricked him here. Tell him, you know, Yeah, I saw you do this. The guy's, Come on, I want to tell you. I saw you do it. I saw you did it. The same thing. He adds one word, though: achichem. The first time he says, Ani Yosef. The second time he says, Ani Yosef achichem. So maybe the word achichem is the... But why bring up the sore point of asher mechartem? What are you doing again?

Why are you doing that? Just say, Ani Yosef achichem. I'm Yosef. Okay, we got you. We heard. You sold. You see, it's a sore point. Drop it. What are you rehashing it again? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you bring him closer, you tell him, come, come, come, come. You hug the guy. Why are you hugging the guy? Ani Yosef. You sold me. Again you do it. So the Aruch HaChaim HaKadosh speaks about this question, and he says, Ani Yosef achichem. I'm Yosef, your brother. That even while you sold me, even b'shaas the mechirah, I was Yosef achichem. Not now, Ani Yosef achichem. Ani Yosef achichem asher mechartem. Even while you sold me, I wasn't מעלים עיני מן האחווה. I always had it. I always kept in focus that we're achvah, we're brothers. So kipshuto, what does it mean? That me, ah, Yosef never forgot that you're my brother, even while you were selling me. Chazal said he was begging his brothers, Bischanenu eileinu. He was begging. What was he begging? Chazal say he was saying, I'm your brother. How could you sell me? So maybe the Aruch HaChaim means just that, that Yosef didn't oversight the fact that he didn't overlook the fact that he was his brother. Or maybe does the Aruch HaChaim HaKadosh means that I didn't overlook the fact that you considered me a brother, and you still sold me. David Kfiyat Zichrona Livracha used to say that the pshat in the Arachayim is, I wasn't malin ayin min haachma, which means that I understood that you sold me, knowing that I was your brother. He was being dan them l'kaf zechus. I didn't think, oh, maybe you don't look at me as a brother anymore. You know, I once told you the pshat by the Akedah. By the Akedah it says, Vayomer avi, Vayomer hineni beni. And it doesn't say what they said; it just says, Vayomer avi. Yitzchak says, Father? And he says, Here I am, my son. But it doesn't continue a conversation. So the mefarshim ask, what was the Vayomer avi? What did he say? So we brought down from Yehoshua Yankiv, early Acharonim, that they say that Yitzchak was afraid. Maybe his father doesn't even look at him as a son. He's so fanatical that he blocked out of his mind that it's his son. Vayomer avi, you still remember you're my father. Maybe you're in a frenzy. They say when the 9/11, the shrotzim that carried out 9/11, the night before they took drugs and they drugged them up. Why? Because if they're in bedat miyushav, thinking about themselves and their family, how could you do a thing like this? So they got to give them something to block out that it's their family. So sometimes frenzy, religious frenzy, a person blocks out of his mind that this is his family. Maybe Avraham Avinu is blocking out of his mind that this is his son Yitzchak. So Yitzchak says, Vayomer avi. My father, Vayomru hinah bini yas. And I'm still doing the akeidah, b'daat yoshav. I know exactly what I'm doing. That's the Vayomer Avi. So here too, maybe the pshat is that the brothers, when they sold him, the hatred was so strong that they forgot. They didn't look at him as a brother. They disowned him. Maybe they disowned him. Not working, huh? Oh, you're switching the battery. Huh? Don't get warnings. So the pshat, rabosai, you would say, yeah, that could be they blocked out from their mind that Yosef was their brother. Says Yosef, no, no, no, no, no. I wasn't ma'alin ayin min haachvah, which means even when you sold me, I...

Knew that you're my brother, and af al pi kein you sold me because you did it l'shem Shamayim. You hear? You did it l'shem Shamayim. You hear the daled l'kaf zechus? You see what it means to be dan l'kaf zechus? They sold him, and he's telling them, I want you to know, in my mind, I still think that when you sold me, you knew that we were brothers, and you did it because you did it l'shem Shamayim. Now you know why he was called Yosef HaTzadik. He wasn't mad. Ani Yosef achichem asher mechartem. I'm gonna show you more. You ready? Do you know that Yosef put himself in tremendous danger when he revealed himself? They would kill him. Chazal say that Yehuda was ready. They wanted to kill him. They wanted to rip him like you rip a hering. That's what they were. There's a ma'aseh, a Bar Benel. A Bar Benel says, Hotziu kol ish me'alai. Take out all ish. Who's ish? Who's ish? Who's he referring to? Says the Bar Benel, ish v'lo malachim. Why? Chazal tell us that the malachim came to get a ringside seat to see the war between the dove and the ari, Yosef and Yehuda. What a tremendous boxing match. What the fight of the century. You know what the dove and the ari—this was, excuse me, the shor and the ari, you hear? Unbelievable boxing match. So the malachim came to see it. They got ringside seats. They had, you know, they have pull-up. They were able to get good boxing seats. What do they call it? Box seats, box seats. Okay? So Yosef said, הוציאו כל איש מעלי. Take all men, humans, out. But the malachim, you stay. You know why? I need you. I'm in danger. Protect me. Who's going to protect me against these guys, against the Shevatim? He put himself in tremendous danger. Why? He didn't want to be malbin. He didn't want to embarrass the Shevatim. Tell me, is there a halacha, in order not to embarrass the guy who's going to kill you? If it's pshat is someone else would kill you, and you don't want to embarrass this guy, so you let yourself get killed by this other person not to embarrass Ploni, right? But here, if the killer is the Ploni, so in order not to embarrass you, I should let you kill me? That's not the halacha of a malbin פני חבירו. That's not the halacha of מוטב שיפיל עצמו לכבשן האש. Don't kill him. What are you talking about? If the person who's being malbin is getting the halbanah, is the person that's going to do the killing, you're not mechuyav to let that guy kill you, not to be malbin. He's not allowed to kill you. What are you talking about? So the truth is, by Yehuda it was that way. Yehuda was the person who was getting the elbon, and Yehuda was the one who's killing Tamar, and she let herself get killed by Yehuda in order not to embarrass Yehuda, right? Which is really where we learn this from. This is where we learn this halacha from. Yeah, but there, because Yehuda didn't know. Yehuda didn't know who was the person who did it. So in order not to be malbin Yehuda, she accepted to get killed by Yehuda. But where the person knows, the person knows. It's the shevatim, they know. So in order to stop the shevatim from killing, there's no halacha to let yourself get killed. In order, they should get embarrassed. That doesn't. So what's the answer, rabosai? The answer is af al pi ken. Af al pi ken, Yehuda—I'm sorry, Yosef—even though l'halacha he wasn't mechuyav, but in middos tovos, he was ready to let the brothers kill him, not to embarrass his brothers. That's what you see. Chazal teach us that he was willing to get killed, not to embarrass the brothers. So I'm showing you, but l'halacha this is not that halacha of mutav sheyapil atzmo l'kivshan ha'esh. That's if another person was the one throwing you into the fire, tell me who did it, so you don't want to say who did it. But here it's the same people. If you come and you're protecting yourself from the people who want to kill you, what are you going to say, I'm not mechuyav, I'm not embarrassed that the person wants to come to kill me? Of course.

Egyptian guy wants to come kill you. What are you talking about? To protect himself from the guy who's trying to kill him, of course he's not mechuyav not to say anything. So then why didn't he do it? Why did he put himself in danger? And the answer is, lo mitoras chiyuv, mitoras andilut hanefesh. His love for his brothers was so special, was so deep, that yes, he was willing, even though halachically not mechuyav, not to embarrass the brothers, you hear? And he knew he was in danger, and he asked the malachim to protect him, but not to embarrass his brothers. Now you know why he's called Yosef HaTzadik in the Medrash? You know why he's called Yosef HaTzadik in the Medrash? Okay, let me tell you more. It says that he tells the brothers, Come close. Why is he telling the brothers to come close? Why is he telling the brothers to come close? So the Daas Zekeinim Baalei HaTosafos says that he told the brothers to come close because he didn't want Binyamin to hear when he says, Ani Yosef asher mechartem, because why should Binyamin know that who sold, that the brothers sold him? Why should? So the mashma'ut of the Daas Zekeinim is that Binyamin never knew. The question is, it says clearly, Rashi brings from the Chazal that Yosef asked Binyamin the names of the children. So he told him, I named the children after all the tzarot that you went through, and one of the tzarot was that you were sold to Mitzrayim, right? So you see clearly that Binyamin knew. How could the Daas Zekeinim, the Baalei HaTosafos, say he didn't know if he named his children after him? And he told him, I'm naming him this, this, and this, al shem hatzarot shekaru lecha, that happened to you. So we could say that's not a question. Maybe Binyamin knew that he was sold, but who sold him, that he didn't know. Hashem mechaltem, lo Hashem nimkarti l'Mitzrayim. Ani Yosef, that you sold me. You know, Yosef's—I'm sorry, Binyamin's stones on the Choshen are called what, rabosai? Yashpeh. What does yashpeh mean? It's a type of sapphire. But the truth is there's a ... why it's called yashpeh, and it is yesh peh, that Binyamin had a mouth to speak what happened to Yosef, and he never said one word. Never said one word. Yesh peh. Yashpeh is sapphire? No, yesh peh, that Binyamin never spoke. Binyamin never spoke what happened to Yosef. So you see he knew. So the truth is maybe he knew he was sold, but he never knew what. He never knew who sold him. And maybe the pshat is that Yaakov wasn't even supposed to know that he was alive. So the yesh peh was not that he didn't speak that the brothers sold him. What does the yesh peh mean? No, that he was sold. Still don't know that he knew that the brothers sold him, and he could have told Yaakov that he was alive, and he didn't say anything, so yesh peh. But I have a raya, an open and clear raya. The Medrash says that in Parshas Miketz, at the end, when he took the cup, so the brothers started yelling at him, Ganef. Your mother was a ganefta. Your mother stole the trafim, huh? Runs in the family! The genes. You know what he answered back? I stole a cup. My mother stole avodah zarah. You stole your brother and sold him. What are you talking about? Medrash says it clearly. Medrash says. He said, I was ganav. Look who's calling the kettle black. What are you talking about? So you see clearly from the Medrash, he knew. He knew. He knew. So how could the daas kedum come and tell me that he didn't want Binyamin to know if Binyamin knew? So I would say, you know what? Maybe Binyamin knew, but Yosef didn't know Binyamin knew. Maybe that's the pshat. Maybe Binyamin knew, but Yosef didn't know that Binyamin knew. So he was careful not to say, Ani Yosef, in front of Binyamin, okay? Ani Yosef shemechartem. Or dilma, or maybe we could say another pshat, Rabbi Yisai. Binyamin knew, and Yosef knew that Binyamin knew. But it's still embarrassing for the brothers. It's still embarrassing that Binyamin should again...

He wasn't there. What is lashon hara? Lashon hara is where a person doesn't know and you reveal to him. But where a person knows something that everybody knows, it's not lashon hara, right? But is it lashon tov? Is it nice? It's not embarrassing? It's still embarrassing. Tell me, when you bring up something that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. If it hurts, right? It hurts, so you're embarrassed, right? You know, there's a mayridike story I heard from B'shem Rav Levenberg told me. Rav Levenberg from Lakewood, the Imrei Chein, the father of the Imrei Chein, is now in a home in Lakewood. I went to visit him. He told me a beautiful story. He said that the Chofetz Chaim was once sitting at a table, and there was another very big rav that was sitting over there. He told me the name of that rav in Europe, and the rav saw a sefer on the table. See, he took the sefer and he started reading, and he started to laugh about what it says, that there was a mistake. So he tells the Chofetz Chaim, Look at the stupidity that this person wrote. So the Chofetz Chaim said, I don't want to see. I don't want to see. Yeah, a mayridike maaseh. Rabbi Hecht, you want to hear a beautiful story? I'll tell you a beautiful story. Rabbi Levenberg, the Imrei Chein, the one that wrote the sefer on Chumash, on Shas, Imrei Chein, Rabbi Yehuda Levenberg. So he has a father who was a rav in Connecticut years ago, Rabbi Levenberg. He's now in a home in Lakewood. I went to visit him. So he told me a beautiful story. He said that his grandfather was a big rav in Europe, so he was sitting with the Chofetz Chaim. And there was a sefer on the table. So the person, the rav, his grandfather took the sefer and he started reading it, and he saw something that was a peshach a vort. So he turns to the Chofetz Chaim and he says, Chofetz Chaim, look what this person wrote, a narishkeit that the person wrote. It's a foolish vort, a pshat. The Chofetz Chaim moved his eyes away, Ich vil nisht zen. I don't want to see it. So he tells the Chofetz Chaim, I don't understand. There's no issur lashon hara in this case, because it's a asid l'galui. When you write something in a book, there's nothing wrong with repeating it because it's out in the open. It's like repeating something that's in a newspaper. There's no issur lashon hara. You know what the Chofetz Chaim said? Af al pi kein. But vos darf ich dos zen? What do I need to see? You're right. There's no issur lashon hara. It's not assur. You're right. Lahalacha, there's nothing wrong. But it's not about halacha. Vos darf ich zen a pshat, a schlechte zach? What do I need it for? It's a beautiful maaseh. You hear the pshat, rabosai? The same thing here too. Binyamin probably knew that Yosef was sold, and who sold him. It's even shayach that Yosef knew that Binyamin knew. And lahalacha there was nothing wrong. You hear? Nothing wrong with telling Binyamin that Yosef was sold, that he was sold, but mitzad adinut, there's a certain sensitivity, certain love for the brothers. Why does he have to say it and maybe embarrass him again, make him feel bad? You know, you tell a— the Gemara says when you tell a ger, Zechor ma'aseh avotecha, remember the actions of your father. Now the ger knows he's a ger. It's not a secret to him. There's nothing new to him by saying it, but by repeating it, it's embarrassing. It hurts him. So by repeating, Ani Yosef asher mechartem, even if Binyamin knew and the shevatim knew and everybody knew, yeah, unless you could come and say maybe, maybe that the shevatim didn't know that Binyamin knew, this— maybe. But he told them, according to this medrash, he told them straight out, You sold me. The shevatim said, You're a ganef. You took and sold my brother. The answer is that he knew, and af al pi kein. This is called Yosef, Yosef the tzaddik. What do we learn from all this? We learn from all this the tremendous achvah, the tremendous brotherly bein adam l'chaveiro that Yosef had with his brothers, his love, and his ma'avir al hamidos about the mechiras Yosef. You hear? Unbelievable. I want to tell you even one step more. I want to tell you one step more. I think Asaf, you'll have hana'ah from this. I think this is something you could use.

You know, a person is always busy with himself and his ruchniyus and his aliyah b'Torah. He doesn't spend much time to be concerned about the other person's aliyah ruchniy. And he thinks to himself, as long as I don't bother the other person, I'm nice to the other person, it's good enough, right? That's called bein adam l'chaveiro. That's called caring about my brother. From this week's parasha we learn, and from the way Yosef revealed himself to his brothers we learn, that it's not about, I'm good and I'm nice to my brothers, but the love of achvah has to be so much that I'm so concerned and I'm so—what's the word I'm looking for?—it, it, it, in Yiddish, it... it so affects me, the spiritual aliyah of my other, my brother. You know, Yosef and Binyamin, when they meet, what do they do? Yosef falls on Binyamin, Binyamin falls on Yosef, and they cry. Why are they crying? Chazal say each one was crying for the other one's Beis Hamikdash that was, and he was crying for Mishkan Shiloh. So I had a simple question: Why isn't Yosef crying for his Mishkan? And why is Binyamin not crying for his two batei mikdash? And the answer is, you know what achvah is? Achvah is to cry about the ruchniyus that the other person is losing. That's the epitome of brotherly achvah: not to think about me. Yosef could have cried that he's losing Shiloh, and Binyamin could have cried that he's losing the two batei mikdash. Achvah means, love of a brother means— I don't think about myself at all. Yeah, yeah. Yosef shows now with the brothers, I don't think about myself at all. Not I expect you to be mefayes me; the opposite. I want to make sure you feel comfortable. I want to make sure that you walk away thinking you didn't do anything wrong. You know, the Chasam Sofer says, you know, what's the lashon that he uses? V'lo atem shelachtem osi henah, ki haElokim. Elokim is midas hadin. Why does he use a lashon of midas hadin? Now, the truth is, every time Yosef talks, he uses the lashon midas hadin. He always uses Elokim. Elokim bil'adai, Elokim yaaneh es shlom Paro. He was very... So the peshuto of it is, the simple pshat, I would say that Yosef, he looked at his whole life as midas hadin. Till he became the melech, everything was midas hadin for him. But the question is, so why now, though? Now he sees the midas harachamim, right? So why does he say Elokim? So the Chasam Sofer says, Elokim, he was telling the brothers, it wasn't your fault, the midas hadin, because I may have done something wrong. I was getting punished. Ki Elokim shlachani Hashem sent me because of midas hadin for something that I did wrong. Yeah, that's what he's telling the brothers. Not you. He didn't point the finger at them. He pointed the finger at himself. And this came from tremendous achvah, tremendous... Yet what do we see? He didn't say the words, Ani moichel lach. He didn't use those words. And because of that, regardless of everything he did, it's tremendous. It's tremendous. If you look what he did, you would say you can't do more. What more could have he done? What do we see from—what does Achav require? A drop more, that he should have said the words, Ani moichel lach, to give them that security that they shouldn't, at the end of Parshas Vayechi, worry. And because of that, what do we have? Haman, Mitzrayim, and harsarei arugei malchus. Are we going to be more careful about bein adam l'chaveiro? Are we going to be more zahir, more careful not to hurt another Jew? You hear the lesson that we learned from this week's parasha. You would think you can't do more than what Yosef did, the way I show you from the Rishonim, I show you clearly the Rishonim. Not only they weren't mefayes him, he's being mefayes them. He was so concerned not to embarrass them, he put himself in danger. His whole concern is the other person. Binyamin's going to lose the two batei Mikdash. Yeah.

He's crying. Why is he crying? To show them it's not their fault, it's his fault. He even tells them that while you sold me, you were still achvah, you were still ... achichem. I'm your brother, and I know that you sold me as a brother. How much sweeter and nicer of a hanhagah could you have? Could you do more than that, bein adam l'chaveiro, where somebody did you the most dastardly thing, sold you for a slave to die, and you turn it around and make it like it was the biggest chesed that you could have done, and that you were right, baby, and I was wrong. Bein adam l'chaveiro, perek shalem. Can't be better, can't be more. What does it say? He didn't use the words, I'm mochel you. There was a drop more that could have been done, and because of this, so much galus and so much yisurim and so much tikkun, so much tikkun was needed. What? So we gave one of two answers. Either he forgot. He just didn't come to his mind to say it. Or there was a hair, a hair of something that bothered him still, bothered him. So I'm giving you two different terutzim. I'm telling you two different pshatim. One pshat is that the external hanhagah of bein adam l'chaveiro was to make them feel so good that they should feel secure that it was done, and he didn't give them that, because at the end they were still worried, you see. That's one answer. That's one answer. The other answer is that maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, subliminally. And that's why we see that when he came and he said, Baruch she'asah li nes bamakom hazeh, and we said that the fact that he said it was li, there was a little bit of a personal something. You know, there is an Abarbanel. The Abarbanel says, V'atah al tiatzvu. You know what the word v'atah means? Now. Why now? So Abarbanel says, now, but not in the future. In the future you're going to have to worry about this. V'atah al tiatzvu, which means subliminally he had a complaint against them, a somewhat of a crack of a taina, something, something in all the piyus and something in all the love, something bothered him. You know, it says the lashon, Atachas Elokim, am I under Hashem, right? What does that mean? So the Rishonim say, Hashem is able to come and say, Machshavah tovah, HaKadosh Baruch Hu mitztaref l'maaseh. I'm not the Eibishter. By adam l'chaveiro, it has nothing to do with the machshavah. You might have thought you were right; l'maaseh you sold me. Which means he said clear mechilah, but there were cracks within the syllables of the way he said it, that there was a hairline of kpeidah, a hairline of—there was a hair, mashu sheb'mashu sheb'mashu sheb'mashu of kpeidah. And that dikduk hakpeidah caused us galus and galus and galus. Unbelievable how careful we have to be, how much zehirus we need. To make sure that we not hurt, and we work on bein adam l'chaveiro, and we're mavil hamidos, and with this we'll take b'zocheh to geulah and racham yeshurah. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.