Vayeitzei: Rachel’s Compassion, Yaakov’s Tochachah, and Protecting Others’ Feelings

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. That Rachel, imeinu, vatikane Rachel ba'achosah. She gets jealous that Leah has children and she doesn't. And so she turns to Yaakov Avinu, vatomer Yaakov, havah li vanim, v'im ayin, meisah אנכי. Chazal tell us that someone who doesn't have children is tachat meisah, anochi. Rashi brings, keman, l'mi she'ein lo banim, shechashuv kameis. So what she said was actually accurate: Havah li banim, v'im ayin, meisah אנכי. Havah li banim, give me what Yaakov Avinu is giving children. So Rashi says, dam meni. Vechi kachas avicha limecha va'espaleleha, dam meni. So technically, it's not so absurd. It's not so far-fetched of what she is asking of Yaakov Avinu. She's saying, I don't have children, I'm a meisah. Dam meni. Ela mai, like Rashi says, vechi kachas avicha limecha, I guess he brought the parents in. Whenever you start bringing the parents in, it becomes somewhat more sticky. But I guess she meant l'shem Shamayim to bring out a point that, look, this is the derech ha'avos, this is the derech of the tzaddikim. Your father and mother did this, that the father davened for your mother. I guess she didn't mean just to jab him, to hurt him. She was trying to say, she was trying to bring out that this must be the right way. So it's very pure and benign, so to speak, what she said. And yet, Vayichar af Yaakov b'Rachel. Yaakov gets angry. Vayomer, Hatachas Elokim anochi, asher mana mimach pri vaten? Anger. Rebuke. Rebuke for what she said. What did she say that was so off? What did she say that warranted such a strong response from Yaakov Avinu? She's right. On kinder iz b'meisa anochi. Hava li banim, tispalel ba'adi, daven for me. Why does this bring out such a response from Yaakov Avinu? Vayichar af Yaakov b'Rachel. The mefarshim speak about gaguei nashim, that women react shrill. Somewhere in this, Hava li banim, v'im ayin, meisah anochi, she was talking shrill. She was talking, yeah, but still, it doesn't warrant, if that's the way women answer and speak, so then it's... That's the way they speak. So what? Why does it warrant such a strong response? Bifrat, she's, it's, she's suffering, a woman that suffers. Why would you come? I mean, you should understand her pain. You understand where she's coming from. Why, Vayichar Yaakov b'Rachel. This is the kasha that all the mefarshim, starting from the Rishonim down, and soon we'll see it's actually in the Gemara already, the issue. Hayitachen, hayitachen that Yankiv Avinu reacts with anger to what Rachel requests? Her request is correct. Meisa Noichi, Chazal say it's taka true. Havu li banim, tispalel daven for me. Maybe the pitch of voice. Okay, so because of the pitch of voice, the shrill, for that you respond, Vayichar, with anger? In Rishonim, v'et gebracht, it's brought an answer, that Yankiv had an intention to get angry in order that she should daven. Yankiv Avinu believed that she would gain more if she would daven for herself.

Chazal speak about tefilas hacholah, that when the choleh davens for himself, it's even greater than anybody else davening for him. Tefilas hacholeh is mo'il; it helps more than anything else. So he wanted her to realize she's on her own, daven for yourself. Like this you'll get answered. Vayichar af Yaakov bRachel. He wants to tell her, and that's the lashon of the pasuk, Hatachas Elokim anochi, asher mana mimech pri בטן? Go yourself daven. What do you want from me? Go to the Eibishter. I mean, is that a good taina? V'alai hispalelah? V'alai kichah asah avicha v'imecha? I mean, what's the answer? L'maaseh, Yitzchak davened for Rivka. Yitzchak didn't tell Rivka, Go, go, it's your problem. Go daven to the Eibishter. Unless maybe the pshat is, once he saw that she was also davening. By Rivka, the pshat was she was davening on the other corner, Chazal say. So being that she's already davening, so mimeila Yitzchak went to daven. But maybe here Yaakov Avinu feels that she was relying solely on Yaakov Avinu's havlei banim. Because l'choirah the kasha is pretty obvious. What do you mean, huh? Go daven for yourself, and that's Vayichar af Yaakov bRachel. What do you mean? V'chikach asah avicha limecha? Is that a good taina? It's a good complaint. It's a good point. Is that what Yitzchak did to Rivka? And the answer is that Rivka was davening. Okay, if Rivka davens, so mimeila Yitzchak davens for her as well. And here maybe Yaakov feared that she was relying solely, only, on the tefillah of Yaakov Avinu. Un mimeila, he gives her this tochachah of Vayichar af Yaakov berachel. What do you have to get angry for? Good, tell her. Speak to her. Communicate with her. Tell her, listen, tefillas hacholeh would be good if you daven for yourself. Right? Why the anger? Even after the pshat in the Rishonim, that the pshat is he wants her to daven. And why does he want her to daven? Because tefillas hacholeh. So tell her. Unless Vayichar is tochachah, he got angry b'toch tochachah. He got angry because maybe she saw that there was a chisaron emunah. It's not stam he felt that she should. So then he would tell her. He would give her hadrachah. He would teach her that she should daven. Maybe he felt that there was something missing, and therefore he got angry, Vayitacham. Vayichar, got angry. What's the anger? What's the reason for the anger? Give the mussar; you don't have to get angry. It's interesting, the pasuk says, Atahes Elokim anochi. I mean, if he meant to say that I don't daven for you; you should daven for yourself, where do you see it in the lashon, Atahes Elokim anochi? It's ikar chaser min hasefer. It's missing the main nekudah. The main nekudah should be— Don't daven for yourself; you're the cheilek. So I saw it's interesting, the Shlah explains, Atachas Elokim anochi. We're not in Eretz Yisrael. Atachas Elokim in Eretz Yisrael, we're tachas Elokim. Being that we're not tachas Elokim, we're not in Eretz Yisrael anymore, so the tefillah is not so guaranteed to be accepted. We're chutz la'aretz, so I can't promise you that I could be matzliach. Yitzchak davened. What are you complaining? Yitzchak davened for Rivka. They were in Eretz Yisrael. They were tachas Elokim. They were connected to the Eibishter. The place brought them to be lifnei Hashem, that their tefillah should be niskabel. Atachas Elokim anochi, that's the tefillah. The teretz of the Rishonim, that it means, daven for yourself; I can't daven for you. Where is it in the words? L'choira, the Shlah is a good pshat to explain where it's in the words, Atachas Elokim anochi, we're not in Eretz Yisrael, so I can't guarantee my tefillah. I would say maybe another pshat, be'ezras Hashem yisbarach. Chazal say that the Ribbono Shel Olam, the Shechinah, is l'maalah me'rashoisav shel choleh. He hovers above the shoulders of the choleh.

Maybe Yankiv Avinu, who was trying to say that the cheileh should daven for herself, is saying, Ata chas alikim, am I under—you're under the Eibishter. Since the Eibishter is memalei merasheisav, shel hacheilah, since the Rabbeinu Shloilam hovers over the cheilah, meileh you're tachas alikim. So what are you coming to me? I'm not tachas alikim. You have a closer and a more direct line to the Eibishter to daven. We're trying to understand, according to the Rishonim, that Yankiv Avinu is saying, Daven for yourself. You're the cheilah. Where is it in the words, tachas alikim anochi? Unless he meant to say was, I don't have the answer. Tachas alikim, I don't have the answer. You're on your own. Should have said more l'chaira, it's about the inyan of tefillah. The teretz is like the Shlah, tachas alikim anochi. I can't daven for you in a guaranteed way because we're not in Eretz Yisroel, we're not tachas alikim. There the tefillos are more niskabel. There the tzinor to be able to daven and get directly to the Rabbeinu Shloilam is only in Eretz Yisroel; we don't have that here. U'meileh, daven for yourself. And maybe it's also because you're the cheilah, so you have the bigger connection. I'm not tachas alikim in Eretz Yisroel, and you're the cheilah, so you have the bigger and better connection. And then we can understand that tachas alikim anochi—you are tachas alikim, because the cheilah has the Shechinah mimaalah. MiRasheiso. This is all good in explaining the, in the lashon kodesh we call it the dusiach. In Hebrew it's called the dusiach, the conversation, the back and the forth, what Rachel thought, what Yankiv answered her. But the anger, the anger still needs to be explained. Why are you angry? Unless we say that he soch, he savened in her, he savened emunah, he savened in understanding the koach hatefillah. Why the anger? You know, mussar has to be given a certain way. I saw this Sfas Emes brings out that we don't find anger by Avraham and by Yitzchak, only by Yaakov. Yaakov gets angry at that Rachel, he gets angry at Lavan. Anger, we find anger. Why don't we have anger by the other Avos, only by Yaakov? So the truth is, I never understood the question so much, because we find Avimelech, Yitzchak got angry at Avimelech also. Maybe the strong language of vayichar af—it's a very strong lashon, vayichar af. This we find by Yaakov, vayichar, angry, vayichar. It's a strong—it's not just anger, but it's real anger, vayichar. Says the Sfas Emes, it's only by Yaakov Avinu that we find this, because only certain people are eligible to get angry. Certain people can get— not everybody should. Not everybody has a free pass, so to speak, to get angry. Not pashut. Yankev Avinu was able to do it. Tevedik, to be angry and still he's right. Sfas Emes would say, and Kotzk also, the Kotzker Rebbe, ger kumt from Kotzk. Yeah, he was able to get angry. Yankev Avinu with Kotzk. Kotzker Rebbe used to get angry. They were capable. The who they were, okay, they're allowed to get angry. Now what is the Kotzker, I mean, what does the Sfas Emes mean? I'll tell you what the Sfas Emes means. In order to give mussar, and to get angry and give mussar, it's got to come from a point of emes. It's got to come that the person is completely through and through, thorough, pure emes. If it's not done for the sake of emes, and if every word that's said isn't measured, measured with emes, you can't give the tochachah. Besides the fact that it can't work, it's probably asur. Besides that it won't work, it's also asur. It's got to come from emes, from truth. Yaakov is titen emes.

Katzk, the name of the sefer of Kotzk is even emes. Emes mi-Kotz titzmach. Kotzk was emes. When it's emes, then you could give tochachah to the extent that you could even get angry, vayichar, because the reason of the anger is solely truth, emes. But if it's on a personal, then that's not how you give mussar. Mussar has to be done in a way that it enters the heart of the person. So some who give mussar, they do it with love. You know, even in the beginning of the parashah we find that Yankev Avinu, when he speaks to the ro'im, he wants to give them mussar, that they're leaving their work early, they're cutting short the day, they're gypping the baal habayis who's hired them. Lo eis ha'asof ha-mikneh, it's not the time to bring in the cattle, the day hasn't ended. He gives them mussar. What does he introduce the mussar with? Achai. Achai. Achai, my brothers. Ponovezh Rav used to say that in order to give mussar, it's got to be introduced with the love of the expression achai, my brother. That's how you give someone mussar, my bruder. Ponovezh Rav kept to this yesod, and every time he gave mussar, he would begin, Briderlach, my brothers, I want to tell you, you should do such and such, and this is wrong, and this is wrong, and this is what you have to do. He took it from the parsha, from Yaakov Avinu. Achai. Where did he come to being achai? Pashut pshat is that's how they spoke in the Middle East. That's how they talk. Everybody's habibi, and everybody's achai, and everybody's like Ephraim, right? Ephraim said the same thing. He tells Avram, between two best friends. And we ask then, what, best friend? How did Ephraim is a best friend with Avram? But that's how they speak in the Middle East. That's how they talk over there in Canaan. How do they? Habibi, habibi, habibi, right? Everybody's habibi. So achai, that's how he started the conversation. But the Ponevezher Rav is saying that actually it's deeper. There was a mechuvan. There was a reason for saying achai. It's because he was going to give them tochacha. He was ready to tell them off. Achai is how you give a person mussar. That's how you teach, madrich. Achai, my brothers. Vayichar. And here he gets angry. Is it the same Yaakov giving mussar? He's giving mussar to the re'im? Achai. Here, vayichar. And the answer is, chabeisai, emes. Sometimes you give mussar. The way to enter the heart is with love, achai. But if it's emes, emes also penetrates the heart. Mussar, when it's given in a way that it won't have the proper effect. It'll have the opposite, the improper effect, and don't give it. It's not the right mussar. Teirah is teaching us there's two ways to give mussar. You give mussar either with ahavah, love, or it's got to be with emes. Zeideh zichrono livrachah used to tell us all the time from the Alter from Slabodka. Zeideh Reb Shmuel Walki used to say over that the Alter—we learned in Slabodka by zeideh—that the Alter once had to give mussar to someone in the yeshiva. He did something real chutzpadik, disrespectful to the Alter. The Alter didn't tell him anything for weeks and weeks and weeks. After a long period of time, he called the person in and he gives him over the head, Ay, yitachin you did. He calls him to the bocher and azugt him, Mamish, ay, yitachin, ay, yitachin, you did this, such a chutzpah. The bochur asks the Alter, Rebbe, I don't understand. It happened months ago. It happened a long time ago. Why did you wait so long? So he says, I wanted to wait to the point where it wasn't any more personal feelings about it. I got over it.

I didn't want that the mussar should come from a negiah, from a personal angle, that maybe I'm giving you the mussar because I'm angry. You hurt me. So I waited till it passed my system, so to speak. Completely over it. I don't care. It doesn't hurt me anymore. And now I could give you proper, I could give you emesdike mussar. I can give you real mussar, mussar me'emes, emes. Yaakov Avinu has this midas emes, yichar. He gets angry, and as the Sfas Emes says, only Yaakov Avinu, from his midas ha'emes, was able and capable of giving real mussar. Yet, with all the cheshbones that we just said, with all the interpretation and understanding of the reason why Yaakov does it, many sefarim, it's brought down that there was another reason. Chassidishe sefarim bring that there was another reason: upkumenish. In Europe they used to have an expression, zol zayn a upkumenish. What does that mean? When a person goes through a difficult situation, or he gets hurt, insulted, someone does something wrong to him, they used to tell him, zol zayn an upkumenish. What does that mean? That if you have to go through a difficult... from Shamayim this should be it. You should be yotzei with this, and now it should go smooth sailing ahead. Zol zayn an up... Kumenish, expression in Yiddish. Those that know Yiddish, they'll smile. They know what I mean. Upkumenish. You give a guy a chizuk when he goes through, so zayn an upkumenish. This guy did this to you. This guy insulted you. This guy... so zayn an upkumenish. With this, you got, you were yotzei what you had to go through, all right? Many sefarim write, Chassidish sefarim, that this was the kavanah here of Yaakov. He gets angry because efshar Rachel, there's a ta'ina on her shamayim. Maybe there's something that's holding her back, the zechus to have a child. Vayichar, he gets angry at her. She gets insulted and hurt. So zayn an upkumenish. Like this, whatever she has to go through, and she go on this, and now she should be able to have children. This is the literature on the vayichar, why he gets angry. L'shem shamayim. L'shem shamayim, nothing to talk. It's that she should daven, and then she should understand, and emunah, and then she should have an upkumenish, al teires. Almost to the point that it's a mitzvah what he did, Yaakov Avinu. It's a mitzvah to get angry. He was doing her the best thing he could do for her, is to get angry. That's how much teirah, the Rishonim and Acharonim, to explain the vayichar. And yet still Chazal turn around and say there was a tremendous complaint against Yaakov Avinu, what he did here. Vechi kach oynim es ha'amukos, Chazal say, is this how you talk to someone who's hurt? Someone who deeply is troubled, something's hurting her, amukah, something deep. Agitzarete. This is how you talk to them. Chayecha shebanecha ya'amdu lifnei binah. Your children are going to stand in front of her child, Yosef, in Mitzrayim as he'll be the king, and your children will have to come on to him. What was the onesh, Rabbeisai? What was the midah keneged midah? What is the chayecha shebanecha ya'amdu lifnei binah, which was a tikkun for the fact that Yaakov screams at Rachel at her requests of hava li banim? What's the connection? It's pashut pshat is galus. Klal Yisrael, you'll see that the children are going to have to go to galus and suffer the story of Yosef. It's a tremendous suffering that went on. Chayecha, here that they're going to have to come on to Yosef. Yosef is a... and they were scared and they were nervous, and then they went through and they suffered, and then they're standing there. This is how you—someone comes to you, this is how you...

You respond, Chayecha, your children. Your children will have to suffer this galus, so to speak, this yisurim of having to go down to Mitzrayim, to stand in front of her son to request clemency, clemency, protection. I'd like to add another nekudah. What was Yosef's response when the brothers were nivhalu mipanav and they stood there in shock? How did Yosef take them on? How did Yosef respond to them? In love, in kindness. He felt their suffering. He felt their busha. He felt their fear. And he tells them, Come close. I'm your brother. I'm Yosef achichem. Heralem shu mal kemohem. Chayecha, you'll see what the real response. How did Rachel's child respond? He could have responded the same way. You were vulnerable. She's vulnerable. Look how you respond. You know, Yosef could have responded to your children, They're vulnerable. Vayichar, he could get angry at them. She remember everything he did, everything they did to him. Vayichar, he could get angry at them. What does it say? Nichlu rachamav. Yosef's rachmanus came through, which is Rachel's rachmanus, the mercy, the rachmanus that Yosef shows to the brothers. How come he doesn't get—he could get angry. Here, she comes to you, and instead of having a rachmanus on her, she's an almukah, she's in pain, she's suffering, she's coming to you for chizuk. She's coming to you to support her, not to rebuke her. The intent was not she should come and get rebuked, and yet you rebuked her. Chayecha, your children are going to stand in front. So pashut means they'll suffer this humiliation and this galus and this yisurim. It's deeper than that. You'll see the response of how Rachmanus responds to fear, vulnerability, where you didn't do this. You should have responded in such a way, a Rachmanus of dimension. R' Moshe Shmuel Shapiro, the great Rosh Yeshiva, the gadol baTorah, the talmid of the Brisker Rav, R' Moshe Shmuel, he brings out a tremendous point here. He says that it's not only Rachel, it's a rule in life that when someone is broken, be careful how you respond to him. Who knows who's broken when? When people walk into a shul, who knows what's bothering the guy? Who knows what's deep down he's suffering, and probably 99 percent of the time there is something by everyone. Be careful on how you talk to him. Maybe you should have a kind word for him. Hamukos doesn't have to be where the guy comes to you to tell you he's got a problem and you kick him in the head. Kach oynemes hamukos baalei mussar says in general, instead of giving words of chizuk, you go and you say words which are harsh. Who knows where the guy is holding at that moment that you could be transgressing and להיות... the v'chi kach oynemes hamukos. Told you many times I've once spoken to Rabbi Helman. He was the menahel of the Beis Yankev. He was a shanchayir. His chasnah was in the home of the Zeide in Shanghai. They cleaned out the furniture in the apartment in Shanghai, that little apartment, and Erev Pesach. It was right before Pesach, Erev Pesach. They had a chasnah of Rabbi Helman and his wife. So I once went over to Rabbi Helman and I asked him, Tell me something about my Zeide, a nice story, something that brings out, brings him out in a nice light. So he tells me, I'll tell you. Whoever came to your grandfather, your Zeide, he knew the exact perfect word to tell him that he should walk away happy. Anybody who came within his... he knew exactly what to tell the guy to give him chizuk, to give him the kind words to give him chizuk. When he told it to me, I was disappointed. I thought he would tell me something special, something.

I always thought that, I mean, a person who's—my Zeide gave up his home Erev Pesach to make this person's wedding. I thought you'd tell me something like that. Throughout the years, I found letters that this person wrote to my Zeide in shul chai, asking him for so many favors. I saw that he was—he asked him for matzos for Pesach. I have all this literature, I have it. And yet this is what the person came up with, that whoever came to him walked away with a kind word. Years later, I realized that he was telling me maybe the greatest thing, the greatest chesed of all the chasadim that my Zeide used to do. You do a person a chesed, you're right, you gave him his matzah, you did. But to take a person who needs a kind word, who's hurt, who's having a hard day, who's having a hard situation, and you find the right word to put a Band-Aid on the bleeding, so to speak, that could be the greatest chesed that anyone could do. And I've experienced this myself. I walked into a store once and I told a fella, Oh, you know, I appreciate the service. You seem like a nice person. He looks at me and he goes, You have no idea what you did for me. I'm having such a miserable time, miserable day. These words that you said, pashut, it changed. It gave me an entirely, an entirely change of mood, an uplift. Appreciate, he tells me. Appreciate greatly. You have no idea what you did for me. And I realized. Chazal are right on the money, as they say, right on the bullseye. The chikach oinimes ha'amukos. The way you respond to a person in pain is crucial, is crucial, because the person needs the kind word, almost like a person needs a breath of fresh air. And a person can't breathe, he's searching for a little air. Some people are searching for a good word, for a word of chizuk, a word of kindness. And to hold it back and not give it, it's like choking him. And by giving it to him is giving him oxygen, is giving the starving person food. This is the lesson. And Reb Moshe Shmuel Shapiro says, look at the interesting thing. When Klal Yisrael is supposed to get destroyed in the time of the Beis HaMikdash, the aveiros they did, the Medrash in Eichah tells us that Yirmiyah summons the avos to the Ribbono Shel Olam. The Ribbono Shel Olam says, Avraham, I'm going to take your children and I'm going to destroy. I'm going to send them to galus. And Avraham has no answer, and Yitzchak has no answer, and Yaakov has no answer. Medrash says all the way till Rachel Imeinu comes out from her cave, and she says, Ribbono Shel Olam, I gave the simanim to my sister. You must, you must save my children in this zechus. And the Ribbono Shel Olam says, Hi kolech mibechi. V'einayich min dima, ki yeish sachar lif'ulaseich. She, Taka was matzliach with her zechus to save Klal Yisroel. Says Remeshesmuel, Shapir, the avos, all the Torah of the avos, that couldn't do it. So you see the not hurting a sister, to be keen on the insult and pain and bushah of a sister, and to save her from that bushah by giving the simanim, this overrides, this is greater, this is a bigger zechus. The language that the great Rosh Yeshiva uses is yoser miToras shel avos, more than the Torah of the fathers. Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yanki, all the chesed and all the Torah and everything that we had from the avos just couldn't tip the scale, so to speak, that the Ribbono Shel Olam should save Klal Yisroel after what they've done in the time of the Churban. What did do it? The zechus of not insulting a sister.

Zchus, kamani ichnasti tzarasi l'beisi, says Rabbi Shalom, lihi koleich mibechi, v'einayich midimah, not to insult someone. You know, rabosai, there's a very famous question that the mefarshim ask. Rachel ends up having children. Vayizkor Elokim es Rachel, says Rashi, Hashem remembers her, gives her a child. What? Zachar. What did He remember? Mesiras hasimanim, that she gave over the simanim. The question that the mefarshim ask: she gave over the simanim before. Was it now? She has a, so to speak, a quarrel with her sister. Her sister, the dodaim, Reuven brought it home, Rachel wants them. She gets into this little bickering with her sister. Then it says afterwards, Vayizkor Elokim es Rachel, the Ribbono Shel Olam remembers Rachel. What does He remember, the simanim? But the simanim was—He should have thought, remembered a long time ago, when it happened. Rachel should have had children right away, soon as she got married to Yaakov. Why does the zechus of these simanim not come up till here after the dusiach, the conversation that she has with Leah? Yiddisher mefarshim, she got into a match with Leah over the dodaim. Ah, Vayizkor Elokim es Rachel. Rav Moshe Chavroni, sefer Tzadik L'vrachah, chevra in Rosh Yeshiva, says a pshat. You know, people— Could one time do an act of courage, a courageous thing. Sometimes a person, when called upon one time, he can get up and say, All right, you know what? I'll give up my thing. Take it. All right, save the other guy from embarrassment. The question is, years and years to live that way. That's a big thing. Here you're talking about years and years and years. Time passes, and don't forget, she even brings this up, Leah. Hamatkachti chas ishi, v'lakachas gam es dodai beni, right? She doesn't say anything, Rachel. She's living like this for years. Vayizkor Elokim. But still, how is it connected to the previous incident with the dudaim? Seems like it was a direct result of the story of Leah and the fight that she has with Leah, the bickering that she has with Leah, and that brings out Vayizkor Elokim, that Hashem should remember the siman. And I believe the pshat is like this, Rabbi Yisrael. Hamatkachti chas ishi. Who took whose? Something's missing here. Wait a minute. Rachel should turn around to Leah and say, What? I took your husband? You took my husband. I gave you my husband. What are you talking about? You know, it's one thing, berabim, at a chasunah, in public, not to try to cover over, to cover over. Someone should have gotten insulted. But this is between two sisters, a conversation. You know, they always have this expression, between two brothers, you don't fight, you have it out and that's it. Get it out into the open, have it out between the two of you and that's all. Here's Rachel's opportunity. What, I'm not talking? Excuse me, Leah, there's nobody listening. We're between ourselves. Could you stop using this language that you took your heart? You know, you gotta be kidding me, right? And still she says nothing, because she doesn't want to hurt Leah. It's one thing to say, you know, look what she did by the wedding. Yeah, but the wedding would have been so much bizyonos to Yankev and to Lavan. It would have been so complicated. How about the nuance where she had a chance? She had the chance to say something. Nobody's around. The sister's complaining to me that I took—what are you, Leah, what are you talking about? And still she was reserved. She was careful. She refused to say one word in order to save Leah.

Pain. That's called Vayizkor Elokim es Rachel. That's where the Ribono Shel Olam sees the final, to the end, Rachel's tzidkus of not hurting another person. You know, at the chasan, it's a very difficult thing at a wedding to destroy a whole wedding. But here, it's an easy thing. Just respond, give it, why be quiet? What are you talking about? And still she doesn't do it. Now Hashem says, this is the ultimate in the mesiras simanim. This is the giving of the simanim to the tenth power, as they say. Look, look how much of the mesiras simanim, and we could add, maybe others have said it before me, that Leah could walk around believing—oh, Father—Leah could walk around believing that she stole, that Rachel stole the husband of her. Who gave her to believe that? That means Rachel gives her the feeling in the house that she is the main and she is the second, that Leah is actually the wife. It would seem that throughout, Rachel is giving in to the notion. She's living with the, what do you call that, the chalom, the dream that Leah walks around. She's living in la-la. What are you talking about? Rachel is giving into that. Rachel is letting her believe that throughout the time, that she's even able to tell Rachel. Wait, you don't know that you can't say that to Rochel. Rochel knows that's not true. No. She believed that she's the real wife. That's the tzidkus of Rochel. The tzidkus of Rochel was not a one-time thing at the chasunah. That's a big thing. I'm not saying it's not a big thing, but continuously, like Rav Moshe Chavroni says, or to let the other person believe that she's the main wife, and to not respond ever, even when the person complains, Hamatkachti chasishi, say something. I don't want to hurt my sister. It's a painful topic, I drop it. That's called nishvei tonyanim, nishvei tonyanim. And this is yesodei hadas of Yiddishkeit: not to hurt, not to cause anyone discomfort with your words, even if the person deserves the rebuke, even if the person is kumtem, kumtem, don't do it. Don't do it. Be nizhar, nishvei tonyanim. And this is in the zechus, veshavu banim ligvulam, the geulah. The promise of the geulah comes, veshavu banim ligvulam. Who knows? Who knows? And I saw Maharal like this, rabosai. The Maharal says that lashon hara is going to be the me'akeves hageulah. It's mefurash in Maharal. Maharal says. He says, you look around, what's the reason for the arichas hagalus? Torah, avodah, people were learning, were davening, zogt the Maharal, it's lashon hara. Lashon hara. It's lashon hara. I was thinking to myself, maybe that's pshat in last week's parsha. Yankev Avinu—actually it's in this week's parsha—Shmorani baderech hazeh asher anochi holech. Protect me. Protect me from what? Says the Chazal, milashon hara. He asked the Eibishter to protect me from lashon hara. Why? Why is he asking specifically lashon hara on this juncture? And the answer could be because he's going out into the world of business. This is where he's going out to work. This is where he's going out to the house of Lavan, to the outside world, to make parnassah. It's all lashon hara, boysai. It's all lashon hara. It's all by grubbing the other guy. That's called business in America. You know how you make business? You bury the other guy and you yoirish his money. That's called business in America. You know, you have a whole concept of corporate swallowing up one corporate swallows up the other. That's called business. And the more you swallow up the other guy...

The more you, Reb, become rich. It's based on bagra binyanim. That's what it's based on, the economy today, world of business. The hatzlacha of business is to swallow up the other guy. Yankiv is going out into the world of business. Shireni, the Ribeishon should protect me, milashon hara. But yet I think there's another pshat. Yankiv davens Maariv. The mefarshim tell us Maariv is galus. Yankiv is leaving Eretz Yisroel to go to galus. Yankiv is now on the threshold of galus, and galus doesn't mean only his own galus; it means the future of galus. If you look at the Midrashim, the Sulam, the Sulam had mermoses for Churban Bayis. If you look at the Midrashim, it can't be maarech right now. But Maariv, erev, choshech, galus. Yaakov, Yaakov is the av of galus. Maybe with this, the pshat is that Yaakov asks for shmorani from lashon hara, because lashon hara is going to be the maakiv of the geulah. It's going to be the sin of the galus. It's going to be where we fall, and the aveirah that the galus festers on to continue, and the maakiv, the geulah. Yaakov's tefillah is Maariv, the tefillah of protection in galus. As he begins galus, as he begins his descent from Eretz Yisroel into the house of Lavan, into years of galus. The thing that he requests is, Ushmarani mi-lashon hara, because lashon hara is, like the Maharal says clearly, sibas hagalus, sibas hagalus. Watch your words, rabosai. Words, words are very powerful. V'chi kach oynim es ha'amukos, galus. Like one of the pshatim that we said, Bonecha yamdu lifnei binah, which is the beginning of the galus, which means the yeridah to Mitzrayim might be rooted in the Vayichar af Yaakov b'Rachel, v'chi kach oynim es ha'amukos. The way, maybe even the pitch of the way Yaakov responds, the pitch of voice that he responds with, was enough to Bonecha yamdu, and the way we explained according to one pshat, galus, that your children will have to stand in galus in front of Yosef, will have to go down to Mitzrayim. The galus could be rooted in the Vayichar af Yaakov v'chi kach oynim es ha'amukos. And so the lesson is clear, rabosai: Nishvei tonyenim, to be nizhar, to be careful not to hurt others. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.