Yisro’s Chidudim: Hidden Feelings, Onaas Devarim, and Sensitivity to Another’s Pain

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. Shalom Aleichem and Bruchim Habaim. In the parsha, we find Yisro comes to Klal Yisroel, to the Midbar. Moshe greets him, and Moshe Rabbeinu tells him everything that happened to Klal Yisroel, all the nisim, all the niflo'os. Vayisaper Moshe l'chosno, eis kol asher asah Hashem l'Pharoh ul'Mitzrayim al odos Yisrael, eis kol hatla'ah asher metza'asam baderech, vayatzilem Hashem. Rabbeinu shlolem saved Klal Yisroel. Says the pasuk, Vayichad Yisro. Vayichad Yisro. Pashut means he was happy, chedva. It's one of the leshonos of simcha, Vayichad Yisro, al kol hatovah asher asah Hashem l'Yisrael asher hitzilam miyad Mitzrayim. Rashi says that this is only the pshutei shel mikra. The pashut pshat, Vayichad means he was happy on all the niflo'os that he was hearing, all the hatzalah of Klal Yisroel. U'medrash aggadah, na'aseh b'saro chidudin chidudin. He wasn't that happy. It was hurting him, shetam geshtochen, chidudin chidudin, meitzar al ibud Mitzrayim. He felt bad on the destruction of Mitzrayim, the nation of Egypt. Hainu d'amri inshi, and that's what people say, Giyura d'asora dori lo sivzi arma b'apei. A ger, you're not to embarrass a goy, an arma, in front of his presence, because it will hurt him. And, v'choira the raya is from Yisro, that Yisro, he felt bad for the Mitzriim, even though they were reshaim. Still, l'maaseh he had feelings, and mimeila you had to be careful, because a ger ad asara doros lo sivzar amo b'apei. Rashi brings this from a Medrash Aggadah. It's actually a Gemara in Sanhedrin, and there the Gemara in Sanhedrin brings this as a machlokes Rav and Shmuel. Tzadik daled amud aleph: Vayichad Yisro, Rav v'Shmuel. Chad amar, Rav says—what does Rav say? Sheheעביר cherev chadah al besaro. Vayichad means cherev chadah, a sharp knife. He became a Yid. He made a bris milah. U'Shmuel amar, shenasa chidudin chidudin, which is what Rashi brings from the Medrash Aggadah. Rashi, though, continues, hainu d'amri inshi, which l'choira proves Shmuel. Shmuel says, na'asa chidudin chidudin—it was hurting him—hainu d'amri inshi, that a ger has pain over the goy for ten generations. But here it's actually in the Gemara brought as Rav, not Shmuel. Amar Rav, amar Rav, hainu d'amri inshi, d'yura ad asara dori lo sivzar mo kamei. L'choira it's Shmuel. The follow-up is that the ger feels the pain. Yet it's Rav who says that it means that he did a bris milah, cherev chadah. That says that the ger feels the pain for ten generations. L'choira, Rav is a raya to Shmuel and not to Rav. How do you learn the Gemara, and how does Rashi take this machloikes and seem to prove Shmuel from the ger that for ten generations he feels the pain? This kasha bothered me for many years, and over the years, every time I see anyone that touches on the she'eilah, I metzayen, I make a footnote about it. So today we will share a few of the terutzim to this question, and there's a lot of hashkafah and mussar from a lot of the terutzim that are given to this kasha. Let me first begin by asking and addressing the actual heart of the inyan. How would we understand that Yisro, Yisro, he's coming to become a ger, he realizes, Attah yadati, now I know that Hashem is the greatest, Mi chamocha Elohim. He comes to the hakarah, Ribbono Shel Olam zeh emes, Torah is emes, Klal Yisrael is Klal Yisrael, and yet he feels pain, al avdan Mitzrayim, for the destruction of Mitzrayim. I mean, Yisro—

You know that they're reshaim. Ba'avod reshaim rinah. You're supposed to be happy when reshaim get annihilated, get wiped away from the world. How could you feel bad? And don't forget, Yisro knows firsthand the rishus of Mitzrayim. Chazal tell us that shloisha hayu ba'eitzah. The council—originally, Pari turns to his council to see if he should hurt the Yidden, if he should torture the Yidden. Bilam said yes, Yis—and Iyov keeps quiet, and Yisro, Yisro runs away. Yisro is protesting this. So how now, after everything he hears and knows, does he turn around and feel pain for the Mitzriyim? I always give this mashal, lemah hadavar domeh. Imagine a person walks into a beis and, I want to be a ger. Why do you want to be a ger? And they talk to him and have big long discussions with him, and he shows clearly that he understands the Borei Olam, HaKadosh Baruch Hu, Torah min haShamayim, v'chulei v'chulei, all the hashkafah requirements of the ger. But at the end of the conversation he says, But there's one thing. I feel very bad that the Nazis, yimach shemam v'zichram, I feel very bad that they were annihilated, they were defeated. Tell me, a beis din would accept such a ger? How does a person come to become a ger and have chidudim, chidudim al avdon shel Mitzrayim? Yisro. Yisro should be the first one to be happy that the Mitzriim were annihilated. Rabosai, I want to build the kasha even more. There's a meyucheddiker vort from the Brisker Rav. The pasuk says, Vayichad Yisro al kol hatovah. Kol, extra word, emphasizes why. Kol. It should say, Vayichad Yisro al hatovah. What's al kol hatovah? Zogt the Brisker Rav, in Shulchan Aruch it's brought in siman reish yud tes se'if daled that one can make a birchas hagomel for another. Usually the person that the nes happens to has to make birchas hagomel. Halachically, another person can make for him a birchas hagomel. Says the Rama the reason is because it's a birchas hashevach, a praise, so you're praising the Ribono Shel Olam. Since you are happy that the other person was saved, he had a nes, he had a hatzalah, whatever the case is, and therefore you are able, and you properly can make the bracha, thanking the Ribono Shel Olam on the yeshuah. The Mishnah Berurah in sif katan yud ches brings from the Taz that's only if he feels complete happiness. That's only if the person is so b'simcha, his heart is filled with simcha, because then he's able to say, Asher... because it's good for me, I'm so happy that this person has... and he brings a case if he's a karov, if he's a relative. That's him. This is the simcha. Zog the Brisker Rav, where do we even learn Birchas Hagomel from? The Gemara in Brachos says, daf nun daled amud aleph, that it's actually Yisro. Yisro was the founder, so to speak, of Birchas Hagomel. Vayomer Yisro, pasuk yud, Vayomer Yisro, Baruch Hashem asher hitzil eschem. Mikan, from here we learn out, shechayavim levarech al hanes. Wait a minute, but Yisro has to make this bracha only if he feels complete, full, happy. I would have said that the reason why he felt so full and happy, because it was his son-in-law, was nogea to Moshe, nogea to his family. Mishabura, the requirement is it should be an oyev or a karov, and therefore he feels. I hope that the shver felt very happy that the eidim was saved and the eidim saw all these miracles. But the Brisker Rav says that that's why the pasuk has to be madgish, has to emphasize, Vayichad Yisro al kol hatovah. The reason why it says kol means he was completely happy. The entire story brought him full happiness, kol hatovah. And because of that, he was able to make Birchas Hagomel, Baruch Hashem.

No, strengthens the kasha, rabosai. Was he happy or was he not happy? Was he happy? We're saying not only the pasuk says, Vayichad Yisro, but it also, in halacha, had to be in order he should make birchas hagomel, yet Shmuel is darshening chidudim, chidudim. He was not fully happy. So the two emotions at the same time, something's wrong, right? L'choira, were you happy or are you not happy? You know, today we have in English an expression for a person that at the same time is happy and unhappy. Should we give the medical term for it? All right, we'll leave it alone. But whatever it is, l'choira Yisro, we're going to ... mentsh. When I know mala mentsh, when I express a no mala mentsh, I'm being very, very kind in my definition. Instead of labeling, let's say it's pashut, ein zach is klar. One thing is clear: Yisro was a no mala mentsh. And if he's a no mala mentsh, either bistzufrieden, either you're happy, and not just happy, extremely happy and completely happy and ecstatic, Vayichad Yisro al kol hatovah, and at the same time you have chidudim, chidudim. And on who are you having the chidudim, chidudim? On the Mitzri and the reshaim. Horrible people, horrible people. So, rabosai, there's an interesting she'eilah meishiv. Sheal Meisiv, the famous shailah from Sheal Meisiv. There's a sefer called Divrei Shaul. He says pshat like this: We have to go back to the Gemara. Remember I told you that the Gemara needs to be addressed, because Rashi makes it sound that the ger, the pain is a raya to Shmuel that Yisro felt pain. But it's Rav who says it, and Rav is learning that he became a Yid, cherev chada, not chidudim chidudim. Zogt der Sheal Umeishiv, because of the question is as follows: Vayeichad Yisroi tak al kol hatovah. The pasuk says he was happy completely. So it can't be that Yisro feels pain. So Shmuel, how could you come and say chidudim chidudim? How could you say he is a shtechte? It can't be. Shteit doch in pasuk. The pasuk clearly testifies that Vayeichad Yisroi, that he was completely al kol hatovah, completely happy on everything, on every part of the story. Mimeila, amar Rav, hainu d'amri inshi, giyura. Vayeichad Yisroi, and only Yisroi, and only Yisroi could have been happy, and that was the ma'alah of Yisroi. That was something very special about Yisroi, that he was completely happy even though he was connected to the goyim, because a normal goy, amar Rav, a normal goy, hainu d'amri inshi, giyura d'asara dori lo sivza armah, a regular ger would have the pain, but not Yisroi. And that was unique to Yisroi. Vayeichad Yisroi al kol hatovah, amar Rav, it can't mean chidudim chidudim. It has to mean that he did bris milah. Ay, shmu, you say chidudim, chidudim. No, hainu ha'minshi, that other geirim, while the Torah is being meayed, that Yisroel was different than other geirim. He was special, because he was vayeichar al kol ha'tovah, a beautiful drush pshat, teretz to the kasha. But l'choira, Rashi is not learning that way. The kasha is, how do we learn pshat tovah in the Rashi based on the Gemara, and how do you understand the Gemara? Amar Rav. Rabosai, I think that we have to address the question itself: how does Yisroel at the same time happy and chidudim? Shmuel, how does that work? How do we understand that? A yesod, and this is a limud in hilchos ha'noas dvarim. A person in his mind could say, I'm happy, aval l'maaseh, l'maaseh, the hergeshim are the hergeshim. Sensitivities don't always have to make sense. Yisroel, afada, he was thrilled al kol ha'tovah, but in hergesh, the feelings...

Things can't be explained. There's no rhyme and riddle to a feeling. There's no explanation to what a guy or a person feels. And Chazal are telling us, fart a ger has pain. So it's not a stirah. It's not a contradiction to the Vayichad Yisro, that there was chidudim, chidudim. Ata das is a mensch. That's a person. You know, rabosai, a lot of times the ger himself will make jokes of goyim, and that's a defense mechanism. He's trying to cover up, yeah, I'm like everybody else. I'm like all other Yidden over here. I'm different, farkert. I came from goyim. What is a goy already? Deep down, there's an emotion, there's a feeling, there's a sensitivity. And this is even in regular chevra. It doesn't have to be only geirim. You can have a guy, the oilam is joking about him, and he's joining in on the joke. Gotta be careful. You gotta be careful. His mouth is with you on the joke, but his heart is not. Could be it's hurting him somewhere. Could be his heart is chidudim, chidudim. B'saro na'asi chidudim, chidudim. It's something deep inside the person, istutem vei, shtechtem. And we're looking and saying, what do you mean, Vayichad Yisro? He was thrilled. No, he wasn't thrilled. He looked like he was thrilled. There's an interesting Chiddah. The Chiddah says, he brings from Reb Lezemika Maiza, Vayishma Yisro. What is Vayishma? Vayishama. He was screaming, Vai. It was hurting him so much. Vai shama. He was hurting him. Tzok. He was screaming, Vai. I can imagine what the conversation looked like. Oy, Moshe. Oy, Moshe. You maybe have more stories of nisim that happened, more makos that happened to the Mitzrim. Oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, vai shama. It's not adding up, rabosai. And the answer is, it never does. When it comes to sensitivities, not everything could be understood. A person could say one thing, and in his heart he feels the pain the other way around. You know, rabosai, Chazal are telling us that a ger feels ten doiros. Why ten? Why is it ten doiros? Many mefarshim learn it doesn't mean dafka ten doiros. It means up to ten and included, ten and plus. You ever see when they write, it doesn't mean ten, it says ten and above. So it means ten and even and above, right? Ten and even above ten doiros. Arizal, Shaar HaGilgulim, Chaim Vital, daled amud vav, brings down that a ger, not asarah dori, but gimel dori, three generations. I don't know what he does with the Gemara. Maybe he had a different girsa in the Gemara. Chassidim use this for the inyan of yichus. How many doiros is their yichus? The grandfather was a tzaddik. How many doiros back does that count? You look over here, a rizal, three, three, three doiros. You see that it stays in the blood for three doiros. And the reverse is also true, they say. In case the zeidah was not a complete shomer Torah mitzvos, or whatever the story is, it's only three doiros. They will ask the kasha, the Baal Shem Tov. Baal Shem Tov said he would come to his grandchildren's chasunah, of course in ruach, doesn't mean mamash physically, ten doiros. And they have a minhag that they put a chair for the Baal Shem Tov, the einiklach, ten doiros. If they're up to ten doiros, Baal Shem einiklach, they put a chair. It's interesting, Rashi, Divrei HaYamim, quotes from Chazal, al tamin bager ad tes-vav doiros, fifteen doiros. The Yerushalmi in Horiyos says that it's actually sixteen doiros. Yalkut Shimoni Rus, os tof reish aleph, the Radak in Divrei HaYamim quotes it, al tamin bager ad chov-daled, twenty-four doiros. So we're having an argument, pretty much, I guess, in the statistics of when does the ger become ois goy inside him. And here we have ten doiros, while you see different...

Numbers are being thrown around and are given to how far the ger is: 15, 16, 24 doros. The Baal HaTosafos here in the parshah says, Yudaled doros, we could have to worry about a ger going back. L'maaseh, Rashi in Sanhedrin already deals with this ten doros, and he says, L'choira, the raya hainu d'amri inshi about Yisro. And Yisro was not ten doros, so how could you say hainu d'amri, you have a raya? No, Yisro was right there, the first dor; he just became a ger. So how are you proving from Yisro the ten doros? So, ... if you understand the cheshbon of the Gemara, chidudim chidudim, and hainu d'amri inshi a ger, so is Rav talking about Shmuel? So Rashi is already saying it's pretty obvious that he's not talking about Yisro, right? Rav is not talking about Yisro because Yisro was not ten doros. So then who are we talking about? says Rashi, it's just a mashal, and it doesn't mean literally that Yisro was ten doros. Grada, it's a mashal bnei adam; that's what people say, the ten doros. L'maaseh, Rabbeinu Bechaye says that he was ten doros. He was ten doros from Cham. Yisro is ten generations from Cham, and meilech Cham is Mitzrayim, so Yitro was a ten-dor Mitzri and heard him personally. And that's hainu d'amri inshi about Yisro. So according to this, Rav is actually talking about Yisro. Many learn that. The ten doiros is learned from the mamzer. We find by mamzer, dor asiri yavoi. So we see up to ten doiros, we call it a mamzer. We see that the mamzer stays in the genes for ten doiros. Nefesh HaChaim, Chaim Siman Nun Gimel, Sif Vav, brings something very interesting from the Gaon. He says, Why is it ten doiros? Mamzer, we see ten doiros. Here we see the ger can't be hurt because there's a piece of goy in him for ten doiros. He says every father and mother, so let's say one of them is a ger or one of them is a mamzer, so the child is fifty percent of the father, right? So the second generation becomes a quarter. He becomes a quarter of the father. The third generation, he's an eighth. The fourth generation, he's a sixteenth. The fifth generation, he's thirty-two. The sixth generation, he's sixty-four. The seventh generation is, he's 128. The eighth generation, he is 256. The ninth generation, he's echad mi-tav kuf yud beis, 412. That's how much part. And in the tenth generation, it becomes one out of 1024. Beriah, a live creature, is never batel even b'elef. You can't be mevatel. If something is a creature, for example, we all know with the bugs, everyone knows the sugya of the bugs. If it's alive, it's a creature, even b'elef. So even if it has a lot of vegetable against the bug, it becomes an issue in halacha. A topic for a different time, but echad elef v'chavdaled, according to Yerushalmi and many that follow that shita, is yesh batel. So the berya, which is the person, so the ger, the mamzer, so he's batel in the tenth generation, and it's gone. So that's where the ten, Adasara Dori, Nefesh Chaim makes the cheshbon al פי הגרעין, that there's a piece of either mamzer that lasts for ten generations, or a piece of ger, goy, that lasts, and then he's fully eradicated, the goy. What am I learning from this tremendous yesod? Chazal are telling us you shouldn't hurt the goy, Yid, ger, for ten doros. So there's a part, a one of 1,024, that you're not allowed to hurt. The person is all Yid, but there's somewhere there, there's somewhere one, a percent of a percent, and that percent, tarmish veita, he's going to be hurt. Tremendous lesson, rabosai. We know az dvorim. The whole person.

He's happy, he's laughing. There might be one cell in him, one percent, somewhere hidden, one cell. We all know in science and in medical, one cell could be a problem. All you know, [unclear] is hurting that one cell, and that's a problem. And that's the sugya of our mah. Yenalabi mevazeh our mah in front of a ger. The Baal HaTurim says a chiddush. Baal HaTurim says, ad asarah dori doesn't mean doros. Dori means strands of white hair, not doros, but dori. It doesn't say doros, it says dori. What is dori? Dori is strands of white hair. What does he mean, ad asarah dori? Sefer HaZikhron says pshat. It's one of the Rishonim. It's brought down in the sefer Chumash of the Rishonim, Sefer HaZikhron. He says, ad asarah dori means if the ger became a ger as an older person, then you have to be careful. But if he became a ger as a child, then he really has no feelings. What feelings does he have? He's a baby. What does he know? He doesn't know. So it has to be that Yenalabi mevazeh the ger if he's an older person. Mir tachtzich, rabosai. Hefshe kemetzogen, punkt farkert. Yenalabi mevazeh the ger till he becomes much older. The ger, the young, he's going to feel the pain. He's older already. He already experienced. He's been a Yid already for a long time, so he feels comfortable. Ah, you're asked the question, what does the kid know? He came into this. What does he know? And the answer is, you never know. The Sefer Zichron is saying, a moyridigah, the kid came into this. What does he know? He doesn't know shayches. And the answer is, he's fart a child, and feelings are feelings. And somewhere in there, he's going to get hurt, and he's too young to deal with it. You know, rabosai, people think, ein odvarim doesn't apply to children. Maybe it applies more to children than it does to grown-ups. We know that grown-ups react tremendously when they are touched, when you tell them a sharp word. Kids, sometimes it's a joke. He's a kid. It doesn't make it better. Maybe it's worse. The kid can't deal with the zog, with the thing you told him. It's a tremendous lesson. In shul, a lot of times, children are treated in a way that they tell them things, thinking, Ah, he's a kid. What's the big deal? You see, you told him. Maybe he's not strong enough. He's not emotionally mature enough to deal with it. An older person, he could deal with it more. We're learning a moyridige chiddush here. Ad asara dori means fakert. A child, maybe you could go and say, All right, he's a child. He doesn't know. Fakert. Till he's older. When he's young, you have to be more careful. Because he's still a child. I once asked the Rosh Yeshiva, Reb Shmuel Birnbaum, zicher tzaddik livrachah, Moshe Rabbeinu is telling over all the nissim. L'maaseh, the reason for this, shteit in Chazal, l'karvo l'Torah, to bring him close to Torah. The Brisker Rav learns that it was a real other cheshbon besides; there was another cheshbon. What was the cheshbon? Sipru b'chal niflaosav. It's a chiyuv to say over the nissim of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. And since there was nobody to tell over all the nissim, because they were all there and they all saw it, Yisro wasn't there, ah, Moshe found someone who could be mekayem the mitzvah of sipru b'chal niflaosav. So either it was l'karvo, to be mekarev him, to tell him all the nissim, to bring him close, to be mekarev him to Torah and mitzvos, or it's a kiyum of sipru b'chal niflaosav. So, etas gemektan. I asked the Rosh Yeshiva if he was hurting Yisro, chidudim, chidudim, maybe he had no right to do it. The mek'veitan yedem vasa mekarev zayn? What right did Moshe have to do it? Ela, you're going to come and say Moshe didn't know. First of all, two things. It's hard to say that Moshe made a mistake.

Rabbeinu made a mistake. Second of all, I mean, if he made a mistake, Chazal would have mentioned something. Second of all, if hainu d'amri inshi, if people are saying that, that you can't be mevazeh a ger, so, I mean, l'choira Moshe would understand hainu d'amri inshi. If common people understand that, the Vashteitz Moshe understood it. So then what was the cheshbon? What gave Moshe Rabbeinu the heter to cause chidudim chidudim to Yisro? Rishiva Zatzal told me, it's a good Torah. He likes the question. It's a good Torah. Years later I found Sefer Divrei Yehuda, a rav in Iceland, said a meydike pshat, classic. And he addresses the original question that we asked. L'choira, Rav, who says hainu d'amri inshi is a raya to Shmuel, not to Rav. Chidudim chidudim and hainu d'amri inshi, that a ger feels it. Zogt the Sefer Divrei Yehuda, farkert. Since everyone knows you're not allowed to hurt a ger, so then Moshe Rabbeinu couldn't have done it. That's the pshat. So takke it's a raya. Shmuel says he became a ger, he did bris milah. Says Shmuel—I'm sorry, Rav says he became a ger, he did bris milah. Shmuel comes along and says he had chidudim chidudim. Amar Rav, how could it be, chidudim chidudim? Shmuel, I can't agree to your pshat, and my pshat is right, because everyone knows you can't be mevayeish a ger. Beautiful pshat in the Gemara. Rashi seems in the Chumash to learn that the hainu d'amri inshi is a proof to Shmuel. He's saying from the Gemara's mashma that it's Rav saying it, hu l'choira should be proving his shita, and not Shmuel, that that's as he is. Chidudim, chidudim. So it couldn't be that Moshe Rabbeinu did it, because everybody knows not to do that. Issur. You see clearly that he was learning that it's taka asur. It's not just an eitza toiva. Pashut, you learn, hainu d'amri inshi, people know that it's not a nice thing to do. It's not etiquette. No, hainu d'amri inshi, mitardes lishtanitzai noas devarim. And if it's noas devarim, מסתמא Moshe didn't do it, and if so, therefore Vayichad has to mean what? Vayichad, that he was happy. You know, rabosai, I think maybe that there's another pshat here too. Yisro feels chidudim, chidudim for avdan shel Mitzrayim. Yisro himself was bothered by this question. What's the pshat? On one hand, I feel very happy, but something inside me is hurting me. And the teretz is, al sidaa nekuda, a shtick goy that's still in me. And that goy still appreciates avdan shel Mitzrayim, still has feelings for avdan shel Mitzrayim. Therefore I must become a ger. Chidudim, chidudim is taka cherev chada. It's pashut, Yisro is saying to himself, I got to taka clean out. That chelek of the goy that's in me. Because take a look, a goy could have feelings from Mitzrayim. How could such a thing happen? And let me add one more nekudah, rabosai. I once saw a pshat from Reb Shula Kutner. Reb Shula Kutner says we have different languages, leshonos, for happiness. What is the lashon of Vayichad Chedva? Vayichad is a cherev, chedva. So why this lashon? So pashut because cherev chada, it has to do with the sharp, because there's a remez of sharp. Reb Shula Kutner says we find the language chedva in a pasuk in Nechemya. When Klal Yisrael comes back after the first galus, Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, they come back. Says the pasuk in Nechemya that Klal Yisrael was b'atzvus. They were very broken because they saw the second Beis Hamikdash wasn't as nice, wasn't as beautiful as the first Beis Hamikdash. Nechemya tells them, V'atem al te'atzvu. Don't feel bad, ki chedvas Hashem me'uzchem.

Chedva Hashem, that is your strength. What is chedva? Chedva is the happiness that one feels from within the pain. When he feels pain and it expresses itself in happiness, that's called chedva. That's the language of Vayichad, chedva. And I would like to add, hi me'uzchem. What does hi me'uzchem mean? That is good for your strength. This pasuk is quoted always. It's referring to Rosh Hashanah. It happened on Rosh Hashanah. Leich echol b'simcha, go be happy, ki chedvas Hashem. And what does it mean? On Rosh Hashanah, we are really in awe, in fear, and in worry, but it's really happy. It's a worry that brings to happy, and hi me'uzchem, that's our strength. That's the taich of the pasuk, ki chedvas Hashem hi me'uzchem. The fact that you have this chedva, which means that you are a little ba'atzvus, that itself is the simcha because it's Rosh Hashanah, and that's your strength, that you're happy. You have rachamim b'din. You have rachamim b'din. Now I can understand Yisro. Yisro had Vayichad. What does Vayichad mean? Vayichad means hurt, yet the hurt is really happy. The Ohr Hachaim takke says, chidudim, chidud shel simcha. Part of the chidud is happy. So which one is it? Is it happy or unhappy? And the answer is sometimes the fact that we're unhappy should make us happy. When we care and it bothers us, that itself is the maila, not the chisaron. That itself is something to be happy about. We spoke by the Beis Hamikdash. Whoever is misabel is zoche v'ro'eh b'nechamasa. Whoever mourns the Beis Hamikdash merits to see the consolation. Zoche, it should be yizkeh; he will. He will be zoche, not now, zoche right now on Tisha B'Av. Chasam Sofer explains the fact that we're misabel, that itself is the nechama. It means it's alive. It means we care. It means it's still within us. Chedvas Hashem, the fact that it hurt us that the second Beis Hamikdash was not like the first, is something good and positive. Sometimes, if it hurts, it's a sign that it's alive by us. It's a sign that we care. It's a sign that we're connected. If you don't care, you know, the opposite of love is indifference. It's not hate, it's indifference. You don't care. You don't care because geit nisht an, right? It doesn't bother you. Chedvas Hashem, and hi me'uzchem. I believe, be'ezras Hashem yisbarach, that's the pshat in Vayichad Yisro. Yisro is very happy, Klal Yisroel, yet he has chidudim, chidudim. So you could come and say, Va'alis likdonem a shtik goy. No, va'alis likdonem a shtik Yid, because only a Yid could feel. The pain, al avdam shel Mitzrayim. That's the Yid in him. We always learned, and the way pshat from most of the mefarshim is, chidudim, chidud, v'hasdashtigoynim. And the goy is feeling the pain, v'kares dashtig Yidnem. And the Yid is feeling the pain, al avdam shel Mitzrayim. You know, rabosai, we don't say shira, Az Yashir, we say, but we don't say Hallel on Shevii shel Pesach. We only say half. Why? Maisi Yad Tovim bayam, v'atem omrim shira? How could you be happy when people are suffering? How could you? Yeah, but they're the Mitzriyim. They tortured us. Yeah, but that's a Yid. Many Rishonim learn, how come the Yidden didn't fight back by Kriyas Yam Suf? They should have fought back. They would have won for sure. They outnumbered the Mitzriyim. So many Rishonim say they had the eved mentality, and therefore they couldn't fight back. By the Holocaust, many explained, why didn't we stand up? And the answer was, it had a lot to do with the way we were suppressed, so we don't have the strength to stand up.

have opposition to people that torture and kill us. But the real, real nekudah is the Yid in every person, and in the Yid in every person couldn't fight back. Why couldn't he fight back? Like, sosai of Mitzri, ki ger yihyeh b'eretz. So it's only a Yid that could have such emotion. A goy could never have that. So mimeila, this is the pshat in Yisro. Yisro is saying, Chidudim, chidudim, it's hurting, but the hurting is a maila. It's a siman that I have a Yid in me, and it's all one pshat. Herv cherv chada. He became a Yid. Mimeila had chidudim, chidudim. V'hainu d'amri inshi, and that's what people say, that a ger, arasa dari, because he's a Yid he feels. If he's a goy, he has no feelings whatsoever. You know, Chazal tell us what was mashmua shamu uva? He heard Kriyas Yam Suf, and he heard milchemes Amalek. That's why Yisro came. The mefarshim ask why these two, and there's many terutzim to this kasha. I would say that there's a nice dehereh according to the pshat that we're saying. Kriyas Yam Suf brought out the best in the Yid. They didn't fight back, the Mitzri, hakaras hatov, like a Yisroel. Amalek brought out the worst in the goy. For no reason, they attacked, for a nation, for what reason? For no cheshbon whatsoever, just because there was murder in their blood. He sees the Yid, and he sees the goy, and he goes, okay, now I have to become a Yid. That's the pshat, Vayishma Yisro. It wasn't only the miracles that moved him. It was he understood the difference of a Yid and a goy. A Yid is sensitive. Rachmanim, bayshanim, gomlei chasadim, they have sensitivity. A Yid has a midah that a Yid has. Zogt Yisroi, I see the goy, I see the Yid in me itself. I see the Yid, that he has chidudim, chidudim for the goy. That is the maila, and that's why it's chedva. Chedva always is that the pain itself is a siman that we should be happy. You know, when a person's limb is paralyzed, you don't feel anything. It's not a good sign. Where there's life, where you feel pain, the doctor will prick and he'll say, Oh, it hurts. Oh, that's a good thing. Hi me'uschem. That's the maila. The pain becomes the maila itself. The limud of mussar in the shiur is how careful we have to be, oynhoys dvarim. We need to be careful. You never know what causes the other person to have chidudim, chidudim. The maila of Klal Yisroel is that they care about that. Most will say, Who cares? Oh, get over it. Big deal. No. The maila of Klal Yisroel is to be sensitive, taka, to the chidudim, the shtach of the other person, you know. There's a common practice that became, araynshtechen yenem, jab the other guy, give him a sharp line. It was zogen arayn gut, you know. The truth is, there's an interesting ma'rit, which I must share with you, Sha'alos Uteshuvos Marit, siman, in the teshuvos chelek beis, Yoreh Deah, siman tezayin. He brings a story of a rebbe that was blind in one eye, and he would walk with his talmidim, three of them, like dayanim. So how many eyes, if the rebbe's blind and three of them talmidim, is seven eyes. There's a pasuk in Zechariah about the future nevuah of what's going to be, lasid lavo, aleven achas, shivah einayim. It means on one stone, seven wells, but einayim could also be translated as eyes, einayim, eyes. The rebbe sat down on a stone, so somebody passed by and said, Oh, shivah einayim, eleven achas. Rebbe has one eye, the talmidim have, so mimeila together is seven eyes. Chutzpah. What are you jabbing fun? You're shtochst arayn the rebbe that he's blind. The rebbe put him in cherem. Chutzpah. The talmidim wanted to attack the guy. The beis din in that...

Plei said pater. Let's take— we're undoing the cherem. Why? He said that he's an ones. He had a sharp line, an ones rachmana patrei. What could he do? He got the sharp line to say, and he said it. He couldn't hold himself back. So we do have already in halacha where sometimes it's only a line. Get over it. It's not terrible. He didn't mean much. He just had a sharp thing to say. Rabbi Rav Pam zatzal used to speak a lot about this. He would say that people speak about how it's terrible to speak lashon hara, and they give less attention to, you know, as dvarim harain zogen. Here, I read you the words of the Rosh Yeshiva zatzal: Anashim choshvim sheha'issur shebedibur hav rak lashon hara, aval b'oso chomer v'oso mazik, just as strict and just as damaging, is what people think is a normal thing, tzu harainzogen, yeah, to give a guy a jab. The truth is, it's an issur of v'noas dvarim, zidlin, moid matzui. He says that's a very common thing, and maybe even more than lashon hara. But people don't realize how many families it breaks and how many friendships it ruins. Rav Pam used to say over that people say about a person who doesn't stop speaking, he's a motor mouth. Why the expression motor mouth? He says it's like a car, a motor mouth. It's like a car. You ever see a guy walk into a car, sit down, drive wildly, not pay attention to the speed limit or not pay attention to where and what he's driving? He's going to run over people. The motor mouth is the same thing. The motor mouth keeps on talking. He's going to be hurting people along the way. It's a very, very dangerous, a dangerous path that the guy is taking. The Zeidis tell us over all the time that Reb Elchanan spoke very little, very careful with his words, didn't speak much. They asked him, but the Rebbe, the Chofetz Chaim, your own Rebbe, he doesn't stop talking. The Chofetz Chaim was very bubbly in his talking. He was very warm. Why is it that the Chofetz Chaim keeps on talking and you, you are very cold, so to speak, and not talkative? So he said, the Rebbe, he's so fluent and he's so knowledgeable in the halachas of lashon hara that he won't say any—he knows he won't say it. He's secure. He won't say anything wrong. Me, I'm afraid, poshut afraid. If I talk, I might say the wrong thing. I once asked my Rebbe, Rav Pam, you know, we never know if we're hurting the other person. So what happens? You know, lashon hara has guidelines. What about if I say something, I didn't mean anything. Do I know that that person's getting hurt? What do I do? So, pashut in halacha, if I say things that are normal and healthy and kind, you know, and a person from within doesn't have sinah and kinah, l'choira he should be okay. He shouldn't be saying terrible things. So I asked my Rebbe Rav Pam, but you see from here that you never know where you're hurting another person. How many times people, even me, I say a shiur and I wonder sometimes, do I know how the person in the shiur, maybe he's getting hurt? Maybe do I know what he's thinking, maybe what his problem is? He thinks maybe I'm addressing his problem. It's such a complicated topic when you want to be honest about it. Veitan yenem, you never know. Maybe this guy's overly sensitive, so it becomes my problem. My Rebbe answered to me, it's a good problem. It's a serious problem because you never know. But you could daven in the morning, Satzileni me'azei panim u'me'azus panim, that I shouldn't be an azus panim. What do you mean, I shouldn't be an azus panim? Don't be an azus panim. And the answer is, we need siyata dishmaya. We ask the Ribono Shel Olam to help us, to guide us, to take away all the things that are in our path that will make us fall and to be an azus panim, to be a chutzpadike person. So this is the limud of Vayichad Yisro, that on one hand the person could be ecstatic.

But somewhere, somewhere, he is hurt. And according to the way we're learning the Rashi, Moshe Rabbeinu had to be careful from that. Moshe Rabbeinu, it was an issue, and to the point that Rav had to say, it's muchach that Moshe Rabbeinu did not cause him to have chidudim, chidudim. You've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.