Manoach, Derech Eretz, and the Lessons of Shimush Talmidei Chachamim

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. ...medrash Chazal machen, that they make, that it says in the pasuk, u'shmei Bnoyach. By the rishonim, it's the other way around. It says the name, his name, and that was his. But if it says first his name was, zogt Chazal, echad, tasa siman for tzaddik. Tzaddik ruft un u'shmei Bnoyach. Tzaddik gadol hayah. As a matter of fact, if you look at the medrash, it's כדאי to see, it says, lamed alef tzaddikim. Vahi, vahi is the gematria of medrash, vahi is the gematria lamed alef. I always thought there was lamed-vav tzaddikim. The medrash makes lamed alef tzaddikim. Gematria vahi. Vahi ish echad, he was one of the lamed alef tzaddikim. So he was nitztamach, he's a gadol. He was nitztamach tzaddik from the lamed alef tzaddikim, from the vahi tzaddikim. It's the same, all the same medrash over there. So how do we have a Chazal that he was an am haaretz? It's a stira, it's a medrash contradiction. So rabbeise, there's an interesting Rabbeinu Yonah. Rabbeinu Yonah zogt, Ein am haaretz chassid, based off the Mishnah. Zogt Rabbeinu Yonah, an chassid efshar nisht, but a tzaddik ken er zayn. Yeah, the maaseh, ein am haaretz chassid. Aba tzaddik, zogt Rabbeinu Yonah, ken an am haaretz zayn. Is that the pshat here, that an am haaretz, a tzaddik, a lamed-alef tzaddik, un vayter an am haaretz? A peledike reid. The emes is, it's even schwer to understand, you know, baalimus to talk, just to make it a little bit vimuzak, a lunch and learn shiur, and after מנחה, the eilim should walk away with a bisl a chelikkeit. Tziduah, Reb Yerucham in Aleh Zayin, mussar shmuzen, used to talk: Mitolmid zayn kein tzaddik. Muz zayn a chacham, favos? This is a very famous expression from Reb Yerucham. Vos a mol a tzaddik mit zayn tzidkus ken nisht opton mit der grester rasha, mit zayn rishus, tut uf. Favos? If it's misplaced tzidkus, without knowledge, Reb Yerucham used to say, that's why he says, if you look at the Haggadah, what do we have? Echad chacham, echad rasha, k'neged shteyn echad tzaddik. What's the opposite of the rasha? The tzaddik. So you should have said, echad tzaddik, the Yerushalmi takke. The girsa in the Yerushalmi, on the lashon of the Mishnah there is: tzaddik, tzaddik v'rasha. Reb Yerucham, like dibur zogn, Reb Shmuel is in a few places, dafaven chacham, abeisai, ken doch nit zayn kein am ha'aretz. An am ha'aretz mit tzidkus is a dangerous combination. Vos tut men mit der sugya, rabosai? S'hagutte kasha, ay, yera, rabosai, vi ken men nemen a gadol hador, machif onem a greis nishtama, opgerיסן am ha'aretz, az afilu kein poshut chumash ken er doch nisht? A pele, mamash a pele. Hagutte orech. Rabosai, let's talk about what he did wrong. Lomer zen, lomer geven tzu farshteyn, vos is... Der avlah, shreklach, chived behind ishto is vos? So first of all, let's see what the issur is bichlal. What's the reasoning in not to do this? Let's begin with the machlokes haposkim, the Beis Yosef in Even HaEzer siman chaf alef, se'if katan beis brings a machlokes if it's toch daled amos, or even more than daled amos. You're not allowed to walk behind isha, including your wife. What do you call it? She's down the block. At what shiur is it called achorei isha? So pashut, toch daled amos. The Chatzos chelek, and he says it's even more than daled amos. I guess as long as you could see, huh? Is the issur tied to seeing? Is that where the issur is? You know, these a pashte Gemaras that I don't think anybody ever touched on this Gemara. Zogt Pirkei Beis, if you think you learned the Gemara, what's the problem, and what's the shiur? What's the shiur? It's a rhetorical question. A darshan knows how to make rhetorical questions. I don't really expect you to answer me in the shiur. So the shakla vetarya is, versus the shiur, okay.

If it's about seeing, is it about tznius? Is it about looking? Is there an issur to look at your wife? What's a shlech? Taanis katan of d'vai? Is it about other people maybe? Maybe other people will see you walk behind your wife in the street. Taanis gehenim d'vai in the gas. So what's the problem? So you're walking with your wife, and she's wearing a fur coat. What's the problem? What's the issur? Cherei isha. What's the problem? What's the issur? So, rabosai, there's an interesting machlokes, peledike machlokes. The machlokes, dergemara zugt, as to the machlokes Rashi and the Rambam. The Rambam is going to hold there's an issur involved. There's an issur. And he's medayek it why, because the Mishnah states, Al talbas sicha me'isha. And that's even in be'ishto, perek daled, Mishnah hei. The Rambam zugt, al ta'am is, v'al dos macht a ribui fun taiva, menches, fun... he's busy with his wife, dos brengt midas ra'os, zogt the Rambam. Zei zogt the loshon haRambam in peirush haMishnayos, aufen ort un dem machshavah zogt, eib azoi, der issur gein noch dem... is doch dos al bezach, a maaseh. Azoi vi talbas sicha me'isha, un dortn is avad an issur. There it's definitely an issur. Talbas sicha, the Rambam says it's megarei... asur. Az ei zogt der Maharsha, u'meiles nichlal. And I'd like you to read, I'd like to read the lashon of the Maharsha, mamash a chiddush. He says that the issur is because with this, you're mistakel, you look. Sorry, I had it prepared. Give me a second. ... Maharsha ... Oh. Zogt der Maharsha, vos iz the problem? Oh. Aval lefi the Rambam. Later, Rambam, v'achar sheshaninu lo ya'avor b'sivah, afilu b'ishto amru, u'mishum issurin nahagu bah, which is a chiddush. I don't see clearly in the Rambam that it's an issur, but azoi farteitcht er. Az hot es tom ich issur, it has to do with issurin, shelo yargil atzmi b'mishgal, because this brings ... taavah. Person's ... halachanami, ika l'meimar mahai ta'ama shelo yeilech achareha, lo yistakel. Maharsha ... The problem is what? ... You know, it's an interesting thing that the Rambam himself never brings that chelek of b'ishto amru by the halacha walking after a woman. The Rambam, in halacha, in Hilchos Bi'ah, the Rambam ... as the Talmud ... but he never finishes off that it has to do with ishto also. Hilchos Issurei Bi'ah, perek chaf aleph, halacha chaf aleph chaf beis, the Rambam ... that if someone walks behind a woman. He's called me, Kali am haaretz. But he never finishes off, b'ishtei tarasat, loyte machshagah. It's nitztamachai amusas, the chanisah, for shulisr. Yeah, great, rabosai. Now the olam is thinking already, is this became halacha shiur? What happened? Don't worry. The musar kumpalt, hashkafah kumpt noch dem, and the ma'asis kumen noch dem. Don't worry. Everything is all, yes. Maybe someone chooses a leader. One person said it. B'shteit doch nit. B'shteit doch nit. Az b'shteit doch nit, b'ishtei, shteit doch nit. Shteitish menoiach, shteitish kein ein vort. So whatever the reasons are, and whatever the issur is, Rambam should have mentioned it. Chapel, nein. There's something wrong here. On one hand, the mashal will machmir for them an issur, which means menoiach is oiver mamash k'matan issur. According to the mashal, this is this gemara. We learn from Menoiach, ... the woman. The mashal learned az the issur is ... ba. Yechol an andere she'eilah. Who said Menoiach looked?

Maybe the Rebbe's looking down. Maybe the pshat is, ... right? ... You're not ... right? I agree with you, and the af al pi kein. Af al pi — see, hatzlachah means in the story of that he went. Okay, so I'll checkmate you. You know, I don't get this spoil. Anything any guy throws at me, I have something to come back. You ready? I'll come back with something. Reb Eliyashiv, Reb Eliyashiv, tzaddik ... on the shiurim on ... brings a shaila. He asks the shaila: what happens if the guy's blind? What happens if he's blind? Could he go acharav? You helped me? I have a different shaila. So let's say like this: his wife is helping him go, ... and blind. You ready? So you're saying af al pi kein, a wife shouldn't be taking her husband in the street, watching. I'll tell you a maaseh for the ... You ready? ... when he was old, his wife helped him in the street. I heard this from my zeide, zichrono livrachah, and it was printed later on in the book in Reb Meir Simcha. Okay, it's a controversial maaseh, but I have to tell you ... It's middle of the day, so it's controversial story. You ready? Reb Meir Simcha, his wife helped him, hand in hand. He needed help. A ger chassid saw this, and you know, in ger it's—that's the carnal sin, to walk not only here, to walk together in the same block in Telz, right? Tovel aleihem brachah, ... You'll get to know the shiurim, not to put anybody down. It's just factual things. So, es iz ibergezogt tsum Gerer Rebbe. The Gerer—I heard this from my zeide; it's printed. The Gerer Rebbe said, Take your shoes off and sit on the floor. You're a cheirem. You're a muchram. Az du kenst redn gegen R' Meir Simcha, bist a muchram. You sit in cheirem. מיד, the guy take his shoes off, and he put them in cheirem. Der avad ken gegen R' Meir Simcha. It's a maiseh; it's gedrukt on the book of R' Meir Simcha. I heard it from my zeide, okay? Klare maiseh. So the question is, so what happens if the wife walks a little before and he's walking a little behind? Is that a problem? Or you can say that's not behind, right? It's not mamash behind. Well, if it's tzniusdike shaylah. But if he's blind, he anyway can't see, yeah? Chavli hashm is dam this shaylah. Listen to the raya that's brought. Ah, so zei shein. These chidushim. You ready? The Gemara in Eruvin, for those that learned Daf Yomi, remember, the Gemara there tells us, Adam HaRishon was nolad di-partzuf, with two faces. Front was a man, the back was a woman. The Gemara fragt which one was in the front and which one was in the back. So the Gemara mistafek. That the man was in the front, and the lady was in the back. Why? Because of this Gemara. The Gemara states in the Gemara, Lo yehalech adam acharei ishto. So how could adam harishon, Yetzir kapav, be created in a way which is shlei kalacha? Even though they went back to back. That's the raya. So zogt the Shlah — I'm not sure if Reb Elyashiv quotes the Shlah or he brings the raya on his own. From the way it's printed, it's not clear the way he said over in shiur. But either way, the raya is hafla vefele. Ekendach nit zen. You can't see, right? He wouldn't be able to see because he's facing away from Beisai, the other way. V'nafal pikein, there was a chisaron of lo yehalech adam acharei ishto. Chameira d'karia. What's the pshat, rabosai? So what's takke the yesod? So what's wrong? I'm saying this גייט tzniyusdike shayla. Then Reb Elyashiv says even weiter: al tzad, you'll say that's to the people who are seeing. ... Adam harishon, anyone saw? Then again, there was nobody around. There's nobody around. No? This is not in the shiur that's a bracha ... Reb Elyashiv said, l'choira, light, because there's a tzad hanachonim, it has to be people who are seeing, unless you say—

אפילו די חיות, אפילו בהמות. צניעות is a tznius'ge'beis, eפשער. Who says tznius means that? Punkt yene zeit. When efsher zeit nisht, but in the velt darf men גיין, is chas v'shalom. We can be faulted for hypocrisy, not being. אבער, וויבאלד ס'וויל ער הייסן ברענגען פון דפון, the first shtikel from the Maharsha. Zogt der Maharsha, אז דער פשט האט נישט סתירה מיט איסורים. ס'האט נישט סתירה מיט איסורים. איז פארוואס לא יהלך? Why should a person not go behind his wife? משום גנאי. Rashi calls it a גנאי. What's the גנאי? דרך ארץ שיהא לך הקטן בראש והגדול אחריו. It's etiquette, it's mussar, it's דרך ארץ. The man גייט פריער, the frau younger, she's younger and also she's batel to him, so the דרך ארץ is that he goes first and she goes after. ... לא מאי פרעגן, רבי, ... גמרא. ... דער ערשטע מאן דאמר זאגט אז יא חיסרון אין ... איז אן עמרץ. Where is the am ha'aretz? So there's a געוואלדיגע שמועס ... We think an am ha'aretz is a mensch who's ... שלם. ... אבער then there's an am ha'aretz הנהגה. A mensch under ... is an am ha'aretz. This is what Rashi means here. U'menoiach hamavet. He was an am haaretz. There was a chisaron in amidah, though. Dal tzveiteh man d'amar azei meinachs vil zogen, Reb Ashi is trying to say, safeik am haaretz in teirah iz a gemene am haaretz. Dos iz dem machloikes. Der ershte man d'amar, Rav Nachman vil zogen az es an am haaretz, vail in hanhagos a gemene am haaretz. Der tzveiter zog, es geven an am haaretz in teirah. What we know, the classic am haaretz was kein afilu shekiposik. Now I'm going to go back to explain what am haaretz is. If you look at Rashi, a peledike Rashi. Rav Nachman calls him an am haaretz shelo shimesh talmidei chachamim. Der Rashi, Reb Nachman, genug. Why is he called an am haaretz? Rashi, shelo shimesh talmidei chachamim. What does he mean by this? I'll tell you how basic it is. You know, gadlus shimusha yoser mi'limuda. Der cheretz un midos is something that has to be learned from talmidei chachamim. There's a certain dakus hamidos that cannot be learned and understood from the blat alein. It has to come. It has to come from the fact that you're meshamesh talmidei chachamim. Un oyb nisht, afilu vos me... Such statement. I want to tell you a maise from Reb Shimon, okay? Reb Shmuel Rozovsky was a famous... They put out a book on Reb Shimon, and there's one maise in there which, you know, everybody has what catches them. This caught me, all right? And Reb Shimon gave Reb Shmuel Rozovsky's fahrher. So it doesn't say that he was nispoel from Reb Shmuel's learning. That's not what it says in this maise. What happened was that when Reb Shmuel left the room, instead of letting the door slam, he closed the door. Reb Shimon went out of his keilim and he said, This is going to be a gadol b'Torah. A kleyner... a kleynchik azach, yeah? Az a hot der adinus, sof machen dem tir, hot er dos der adinus, sof... how would I call it, the... between... in a Tosafos. You know, Tosafos, huh? Sensitivity, but the word doesn't fit in Tosafos, huh? Subtlety. See, to be able to see the dakus, a chiluk in sevara. Sevara is dakus.

A mensch is a zach, a mensch. Yeah. It's a meiredike ma'aseh. And an am ha'aretz who's not meshamesh talmidei chachamim, you know what ends up happening? He could quote you a lot of things, and he could show you, and he... but it's felt them, tzufashtein der hadinus, that you see that you can't read somewhere and pick it up, and der hadinus macht a mensch an am ha'aretz. That would be the difference between an am ha'aretz and not an am ha'aretz. The Gemara says that someone who learned that, v'lo shimesh talmidei chachamim, am ha'aretz. Now you look at me, what do I want? I want to tell you a story. That's what I really want, okay? There's a meiredike Mishnah in Pirkei Avos, in the last perek that we just said: Ha'mekabel es kol ha'adam b'simchah. This is in perek gimmel, Mishnah yud-beis. L'choirah, we have already a Mishnah in perek aleph: Yesh mekabel everybody b'sever panim yafos. So what's the tosefes in Ha'mekabel es kol ha'adam b'simchah? What's added to that? So the Rambam already is me'orer the she'eilah. The Rambam says that it's more. Sever panim is a little less, and simchah is a little more. So first of all, so why should you do less if you could do more? There's a machlokes how much level of eino zoksigenu b'sever panim and eino zok... mei mei, v'dafnacha b'simchah... It's a good hava amina. We can work on it. The Medrash Shmuel says that sever panim yafos is external. Simcha is internal. You know, a person can put out a big smile, I love to see you. What's going on inside? Do you באמת love to see the guy? So the Mishnah is meisif, no, it's not enough to be mekabelin b'sever panim yafos, and that's what the Rambam means, Yosef. It has to be internal also. So I once asked my Rebbe, Rav Pam, how does somebody show that? I mean, what should be the chiluk l'maaseh if you're mekabel b'simcha? Unless you're saying that you have to work on yourself, to work on yourself to mekabel every person and be b'simcha. So it's more. So I started asking the Rebbe, is the pshat maybe it's not about you, it's not about him, it's about you maybe. In other words, the first Mishnah, b'sever panim yafos, is about him. You got to make him feel good. This Mishnah of mekabel kol adam b'simcha is you. That's the chiluk, the difference between the two Mishnayos, yeah? I got my answer not from the Rebbe, but I said, The Rebbe said a good question. Over the years, I learned the answer to the question. Whenever my Rebbe used to meet people, he always said, I'm so happy to meet you. I said, Oh, dos is the pshat in the Mishnah, rabosai. I looked, and even nobody ever said it, but in the hanhaga of a gadol, the Mishnah, mekabel kol adam b'simcha means tell him, tell him, I'm very happy, I'm delighted b'simcha to meet you. Then I started to do it. I started to realize, you know, the תוצאות are unbelievable. Why? חיצוניות מעיר, פנימיות מעיר. Right? When you say it, then it becomes, starts to have meaning, you know, the first few times, okay. Then I saw meiredike chiddush. Not only by you it becomes חיצוניות מעיר, ארץ הפנימיות, but it works on the other guy too. That when you tell the other guy, I'm so much b'simcha to meet you, the guy taka starts to feel, oh, and then he starts feeling b'simcha that he met you too. Now you want to know, is this a self-help class? I want to tell you something. If you hear the maaseh that I'm going to give you, you'll realize how Shimush Talmidei Chachamim, how far it goes. I want to tell you a maaseh. This was something I started to focus on, how people greet people. The sholom aleichems we give people is not just a one-second thing. The תוצאות, the effect that it has further on being marbeh achvah v'reius. I keep my eye open to try to study these things. I want to tell you a maaseh, and with this we'll end. I want you to think about what we spoke, okay? Last summer, I needed a toiveh from a certain...

I'll say a reshushim. I need a certain type of reshushim, all right? If it was just for my benefit, I needed—there was a personal thing, I needed it. I haven't seen the person in a year; from summer to summer I meet him. So when I met him, I said, I'm so happy to see you. Now, I didn't mean more than just I needed him. That's all I meant. This person is not known to say extra words or warm words; that is his tuna. He gives me like a hug. He said, You know, I'm really happy to see you too. And I— I didn't mean anything. I just meant, Happy to see you, because it's a gelegenheit, the opportunity, yeah? So I saw, even if I didn't mean it, look at the Chizkuni's me'eres ha-pnimiyus. They mention how much he was gushing all over me, I'm so happy to meet you. Okay, all right. And then I realized, give a kuk what ahavah, give a kuk when the fashteit, how gedolim understood. One doesn't—can't plotst. You didn't see it anywhere. Don't say anywhere it's— The most I ever saw ahavah from the Ben Ish Chai. What's the pshat of the mekabels kol adam b'simchah? At your simchah, you should mekabel all people equally. That's what the Ben Ish Chai. You ever notice that certain people, when they come to a simchah, you're all happy, you're gevaldige, you give them full attention, look at that, and the hameinam, you know, big deal. Okay? That's the Ben Ish Chai, rabosai. Ben Ish Chai, lefi pshat in the Mishnah, v'mekabel es kol adam b'simchah, when you make a simchah. Okay, so that was the closest, I think, that externally you have to make sure that, yeah, you tell everybody, I'm equally pleased that you came, all right? At a simcha, somebody should learn that when a person comes to your simcha, you tell him, I'm equally pleased. Okay. The point that I'm trying to bring out is that the shimush talmidei chachamim is where Menoyach went wrong, so to speak. He was the gadol hador, gadol hador. I mean, ask the Chapelledige zach, you're talking about a gadol hador. You're talking about a tzaddik yesod olam, yeah? Lamed aleph tzaddikim, that's a medrash, Shabbos. He was from the lamed aleph tzaddikim. So what went wrong? There was a certain dakus of derech eretz, a derech eretz. Cutting gadol. You see, even bein ish v'isha. You see, I'm married to Pinchas. You see in that hanhagah of the bein ish l'isha, a dakusdike thing in derech eretz, and this was because shelo shimesh talmidei chachamim. That's the pella. And l'doires it went down, Menoyach, am ha'aretz hayah for this nekudah. A dakus. He went after, like you said, you need to follow this, that, whatever it was, it wasn't much. Whatever it was, it wasn't much. And yet he was called an am ha'aretz because there was a chisaron in a dakus, in a derech eretz. Like the mashal learns that he was lacking in kavod l'isha, the isha for the ish. And this is al shelo shimesh talmidei chachamim. This is something that he couldn't have seen anywhere with being the gadol hador. Beis, this is the limudim we should learn from Menoyach. You know, I don't know how to tell this to you. At a Shabbos table, there's nothing better to sit and teach the children on Hagos of the day of Yisroel. Because if not, you know, we'll talk about all the politics in the world and all that. Is it so important that we should talk about who got shlishi and shishi and shu? Is it that important? Think about it. Is it so important as our kinzalah heim kumen, der havaheren dos, a hinun and a gezakten and a... Maiseh is a ... Yisroel. Teach children ... which they'll never see anywhere, and they'll never be able to pick up any. All the textbooks are not going to teach this. This is ... You’ve just experienced another Torah class brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.