Tears of Tisha B’Av: Turning the Pain of Galus into Longing for Hashem

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. I'd like to talk to you words of introduction for Tisha B'Av, words of hisorerus, words that will open up and give us an understanding of what the avodah of Tisha B'Av, what we must do, and the way we must feel as Yidden on the day of Tisha B'Av. The pasuk in Eicha, the second pasuk, right away in the beginning, Bacho sivkeh balaylah. Cry, you should cry. Bacho sivkeh balaylah. Medrash is mashma, bacho sivkeh, bacho bayom, sivkeh balaylah, that the double lashon of bacho sivkeh means to say in by day and by night. But actually the pasuk clearly emphasizes bacho sivkeh balaylah. Cry, you should cry at night. What's the significance of the night? Churban Habayis started at night, continued through the day. Most of the kinos we say during the day. Yet the Eicha, the Navi stresses bacho sivkeh balaylah. Why is he stressing balaylah, the night? The Medrash. The Gemara both discuss this question, why בלילה? And the Gemara says, שכל הבוכה בלילה קולו נשמע. Whoever cries at night, you could hear. You could hear his cry, and people respond by crying with that person. Maybe that's what it means, בכי, ספיקה. בכי, you, and ספיקה will be the response that others will cry. בכי, you cry; ספיקה, and this, everyone will cry. But we see clearly that there's an inyan on Tisha B'Av to cry. It's an inyan on Tisha B'Av to cry. What is the crying of Tisha B'Av? We see that it's an important part of the day. You see, בכי, ספיקה becomes the second pasuk in the Eichah. As a matter of fact, Chazal tell us that because of the meraglim, that they were בוכים בכיה של חינם, because of this, there's a בכיה לדורות. So you see that there's an inyan of בכיה, cry לדורות. Tisha B'Av is about crying. What does it mean, בכיה של חינם? What does it mean, חינם? For nothing? And if I cry for nothing, is it such a bad thing? You could come and say they lacked emunah. Why bechiyah shel chinam? It seems like the actual bechiyah, if it's done l'chinam, is a terrible tragedy for nothing. Chinam, for nothing. Bechiyah l'chinam. Why is it that Chazal emphasized, that Chazal put such a stress on the bechiyah that was l'chinam, that was for nothing? They cried, they were koferim, they had lack of emunah. Why the emphasis on the bechiyah shel chinam? I want to tell you over an interesting Chazal, rabosai. And as we talk, we'll get more of an understanding of what the bechiyah of Tishah B'Av is supposed to be. What is the kavanah behind the bechiyah? There's a Gemara, Medrash, that Yirmiyah was not there when Klal Yisrael was taken to Golus. He was sent on a mission. Later on, he meets them up on the Naharos Bavel, on Naharos Bavel, sham yashavnu gam bachinu. What were they crying? They saw Yirmiyah, they met up with Yirmiyah, and then they broke down and they cried. And Yirmiyah tells them, Ilu bechisem bechiyah achas, had you only cried one tear, one cry.

Till here, till this, you wouldn't have went to Galus. You should have done this. You're, how do they say, a day too late and a dime too short, or a dime too whatever. Too little, too late. Okay? Had only you cried this earlier, you wouldn't have went to Galus. Can't make noise in there. You can't make noise in there, so just... So the question is, you don't think anybody cried? I mean, when somebody has torture, he cries. Between men, women, and children. You read all the Chazal, all the terrible things that happened. Nobody cried? They were completely dry. How do you explain, if you would have cried, why would they not cry till now? Who didn't cry? I'm sure they cried. What does it mean if you only have cried one tear? Someone must have cried somewhere, some about... I mean, terrible things happen, people cry. Obviously, we don't mean crying from pain. Obviously, we don't mean crying from yissurim. Obviously, we don't mean crying from tzaar. Talking about a different type of crying. And that cry, they didn't do till they saw Yirmiyahu Hanavi's bubble. What does that mean? So what is this crying that they should have done and didn't do? I want to tell you over a medrash. The Rama in his sefer Torahs HaOlah brings down that Yirmiyahu was standing by the rubble of the Beis HaMikdash, crying. A platon comes and he sees Yirmiyahu. He was from the emperor's kingdom, and he sees Yirmiyahu crying by the rubble of the Beis HaMikdash, and he asks him, You're a wise man. Could you explain to me, how could you cry about a building? It's a building. At the end of the day, Beis HaMikdash is a building. And secondly, how could you cry about something about the past? It's a thing that happened. Intelligent people learn how to make peace with the past. How could you sit and cry about a building, something that was? So Yirmiyahu says, I'll answer you on the first question, why I cry about the Beis HaMikdash. It's only a building. Ask me any question you want. Any question, any wisdom, any chachma, anything. And he did. And he answered him. And he was astonished by the chachma of Yirmiyahu, by the wisdom, and he tells him, You see all my wisdom? It comes from this building. Now you understand why this building means so much to me. This that you ask me why I cry about something in the past, I can't answer you. That second question I won't answer, because you'll never understand. What's there not to understand? But you got to be a brilliant man. And what's pshat? So many mefarshim learn, he wasn't crying about the past. He was crying about the future. He was davening to the Eibishter that whoever mourns the Beis HaMikdash, zoiche v'roeh b'nechamasa. We cry on Tisha B'Av. We cry about the future. So what's so difficult to understand? What's the big secret behind it? So in previous years I told you pshat that Chazal, Yirmiyah was trying to say, how would the goy understand what the Beis Hamikdash means to me? He looks at it, it's a building. Ah, what are you crying for? I can't explain it to you. It's not something you'll understand. This year I would like to explain it a little differently, and that is, vas farshteyt a goy, vos a Yid iz shtereres, what a cry of a Jew. When a Jew cries, it's not tears of pain or suffering. It's not personal. You know what the neshama cries about? It's deep from the neshama, a bechiyah, and that is that he's disconnected from the Ribono Shel Olam. He longs from the Beis Hamikdash, through the Beis Hamikdash is churban, he misses the Eibishter. And only a Yid feels that way. A goy can't have any comprehension about that. That bechiyah, that cry that you're missing the Ribono Shel Olam, is something only the neshama of a Yid, which is a chelek Eloka mima'al.

Now, could grasp has an understanding in. It's a tzaddik for a goy. A goy can't even understand it. Goy, give him something to take away his mind off his pain, he's happy. You know, rabbosai, they have all these self-help books and everything. It don't help for Yidden. You know why? Because the Yiddishe neshama is searching for something completely different. The goy needs to palliate, to take care of the pain that he has and his boredom, and so you give him Olam Hazeh, whatever it is. The Yid is searching for the Ribono Shel Olam from within. He's missing something. He's menutak from the Ribono Shel Olam, and that's the bechi. And I'll tell you where I got this from. The first person to cry, rabbosai, people don't know this, who was the first person to cry? Adam HaRishon. The Medrash says that when he was kicked out of Gan Eden, he was very depressed. Gan Eden. He's disconnected from the Ribono Shel Olam, the Gan of the Ribono Shel Olam, the Shechinah. So the Ribono Shel Olam says, I'm going to give you something that will elevate you, will uplift you, will menachem you, will console you, and that is tears, crying. That when you cry, you'll feel better. Why? The crying that was given to Adam HaRishon was that the neshama feels attached to the Ribono Shel Olam. Through the tears, through the crying, the neshama is connecting back to the Ribono Shel Olam. It's a way, it's another way of... The person, for example, is an avel, right? He cries and he feels better. You know why? Because the memory of the person is so strong in the heart. That the person, by crying, feels that the person didn't leave. His memory is still here. He still feels him. You know, that's what aveilus is really all about. Aveilus is people don't want to let go of the meis, and they feel by being misabel, by crying, they're connected. To be connected to the Ribono Shel Olam in galus is a bechilah of doris. So we think bechilah of doris is an onesh. Bechilah of doris was a tikkun. It was mesaken the bechiyah shel chinam. What is chinam? The Ribono Shel Olam gave you a matanah, and that is to cry. Crying was meant to get close to the Eibishter. And here the meraglim took the crying, and they used it chinam. They used it for the wrong purpose. So how do we mesaken that? How do we fix that? Bechilah of doris, that we long for the Beis Hamikdash, and we long for the Ribono Shel Olam to machzir Shechinah l'klal Yisrael. Pashut, I ask you, what's the bechiyah shel chinam? What's the chinam? They had a kefirah, and the answer is the bechiyah was misused against the Ribono Shel Olam. It was chinam. It was made chol. The bechiyah is a tremendous koach that a Yid has from within to cry, to get close to the Ribono Shel Olam. To take that and use it in the meraglim to cry not to go in Eretz Yisrael, it's a misuse of bechiyah. So the tikkun, not the onesh, the tikkun, how we mesaken it, through the doris we have bechiyah. That we cry for the Beis Hamikdash and for the machshichinasa l'tziyon. This is the bechiyah that Yirmiyah was saying, that the goy can never understand. There is no way for the goy to understand such a bechiyah. Only a Yid that longs for his father can have such a bechiyah. Goyin brings down that you're not allowed to cry on Rosh Hashanah. It's a maisah Rav, based on a pasuk, Lchu ichlu lachmechem, right? Ichlu mashmanim, chedvas Hashem... It's supposed to be a happy Rosh Hashanah. The Arizal, it's brought down in the Be'er Heitev, said you have to cry on Rosh Hashanah, the opposite. And if someone doesn't cry, there's something wrong with his neshama. Rosh Hashanah. And he says, in case you don't cry on Rosh Hashanah, there's something wrong with your neshama. The Gra is right. There's a pasuk. The pasuk says clearly you should be happy. The Arizal is arguing with the pasuk? Something's wrong over here. So Rabbi Zundel mi-Salant explains that it's not a contradiction. To cry because you're unhappy, that you're not allowed on Rosh Hashanah. Don't think about aveiros that you did. It's Yom Tov. It's together with the Eibishter, the Melech, the King. So what did the Arizal mean? That itself is the cry of the Yid. All year he feels meruchak, far from the Eibishter, and all of a sudden he...

Comes Rosh Hashanah and he announces, Rebbeinu Shalom is the King, and we're connecting as His nation and as His peoples. That is me'oir bechi. That brings out a certain cry. That crying not only is not to be done; it must be done on Rosh Hashanah, to the point that if he doesn't have it, you have to check his neshama. What's wrong with his neshama? The neshama of a Jew is kosef. He longs for the Rebbeinu Shalom. And here, the malchus of the Eibishter is being announced. Ki ha'shofar—how could you not cry? But the goyim means, and this is the way I understand Reb Zundel mi-Salan, to sit down and make yourself cry on Rosh Hashanah. You can't do that. You have to be happy on Rosh Hashanah. The crying that Darizal's told me is not crying of pain, of tzaar, like I explained to you. It's the crying that we long to be close to the Eibishter, and not every Yid has, and a goy couldn't understand it. Yirmiyah says, I can't tell it to you; you'll never understand what I'm talking about. And that's what Yirmiyah meant: Ilu bechisa bechi achas, all you needed to do was give one cry, and that would have been enough. The Gemara tells us on the bochei sifka balayla, to cry at night and others cry with you, a proof that Reb Gamliel lived in a neighborhood where there was an almana who lost a child. And every night she would wake up to cry for her child. Reb Gamliel heard her cries; he would wake up as well, and he would cry over the Churban Beis HaMikdash, saying Tikun Chatzos, to the point that he cried so much that his eyebrows fell out. The talmidim in the morning see that the Rebbe looks—something's wrong. And they realized, they started doing research, and they realized it has to do with the neighbor, the lady next door. So they moved Reb Gamliel to a different neighborhood. It's Gemara. It's a Medrash. Sisei einav, his eyebrows fell out from so much crying. The mefarshim ask, the woman used to get up to cry for her son. How did Reb Gamliel take from that his his'orerus to cry for the Beis HaMikdash? It has nothing to do with it. But because she's crying, therefore I have to cry about something else. If it's connected, I hear. Her crying is me'orer, but she's crying about her son. What does it have to do with churban Chatzais? So there's a very famous teretz, Rav Gifter, zecher tzaddik livrachah, all the mefarshim and all the sefarim quote Rav Gifter on this question, that Reb Gamliel understood that all the tzaros that we have today is rooted in Churban Habayis. That if this woman is suffering, she's an almana and she lost a child, that's tremendous tzaros. It has to be because of the churban years before. All bad and all tzaros and all nisyonos that we have in galus, they root back to the Beis HaMikdash, and therefore he wakes up and he cries over the Beis HaMikdash. I would like to say a different pshat, according to the way I explained to you, and that is, she's crying what? What is her cry? She misses her son. You know what Tikkun Chatzais is, rabosai? Chazal tell us that the Ribbono Shel Olam wakes up every night, bashmoyris, and what does He cry about? See this? Balance. He misses us. It's in first Gemara. Oy loi lebanim shegalu me'al shulchan avihem. Woe is to the children that were taken away from the shulchan of their parent, of their father. Huh? So in the cry of the mother missing the child, of Gamliel was nis'ayer what? Korban Abayeis, the cry of tikvah chatzois. It was me'oirer him, the same thing, the longing, the missing, the kisufim, the gaguim for the Ribono Shel Olam, here in a beisai. That's the bechiyah. That was the cry of the Yid. He misses, he longs for the Ribono Shel Olam. Pasuk says, Shivchi kamayim libeich, nochach pnei Hashem. Says the Alshich, what's nochach pnei Hashem? That itself is what we cry about. We cry to be nochach pnei Hashem. We feel menutak, we feel cut off. We don't feel connected to the Ribono Shel Olam. So, Shivchi kamayim libeich, nochach pnei Hashem. You notice, rabosai.

In the whole eicha, we discuss very little about Beis Hamikdash. Even at the end, I would expect that the final clause of the eicha would be, Sheyibaneh Beis Hamikdash, that the Beis Hamikdash should be rebuilt. We don't talk like that. What is the theme of the ending of the eicha, the culmination of eicha? And that is, Hashiveinu, Hashem eilecha v'nashuva, chadesh yameinu kekedem. Just bring us back, Ribbono Shel Olam. The Jew in Galus cries about one thing: he's menutak from the Ribbono Shel Olam, he's disconnected. The whole crying, the bechi, bochi sivkei balayla, is not crying over pain and suffering. It's crying about, look how, look how we're menutak, we're disconnected. You know, there's a custom that the month of Av is not called Av; it's called Menachem Av. When we make Birchas HaChodesh, we call it Menachem Av. What does it mean? The father is menachem us. What's the nechamah? Because that's what the problem in the Galus that we suffer: Yisomim hayinu v'ein av. One of the foundations of Galus, one of the churbanos of Galus is that we feel ein av. Yisomim hayinu v'ein av. That's what's causing the tzaar from within. Menachem, what is the nechamah? The nechamah is Menachem Av. That the Av is menachem us. In the second kinah, on the night, we actually begin with one kinah called Oy. That's the first kinah. If you take a look, the first kinah on the night of Tisha B'Av is about a theme called Oy. Oy mehaya lanu, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy, oy mehaya lanu. Everything is oy. Every stanza, that the chazzan and the people have to respond with oy. And it's interesting, how did that become the first kinah? And I always understood that there's a bechiyah, bechiyah achas. Sometimes we're so dry that we don't even understand that we're in trouble, there's something wrong. So the first part of the kinah begins, oy. Gotta stop and think, something's wrong. Oy, I'm hurt. I have a problem. The next kinah is, B'leil zeh yivkuun banai. On this night, that's how the second kinah begins, my son, banai, my children, they should cry on this night. So the night we discussed, but why banai? Why is it madgish? Why is there an emphasis that my son, banai, my son should cry? The way I explained to you is beautiful, because the cry of Tisha B'Av is the cry from the son to the father. You see clearly, the crying that we cry on Tisha B'Av is, Ribbono Shel Olam, I miss you. I miss you. I've told you in the past, on Naharos Bavel, sham yashavnu gam. What is the word gam bechinah? What does gam mean? Also. So I told you, oh, I heard from my zeide, Mori dekevart, maybe others have said it also. You know, the waters were the first to cry. Adam, we said, it's not really true. The truth is, waters cried before Adam. The waters cried before Adam Harishon. The Gemara says that when the Ribbono Shel Olam separated the upper waters, the above waters, and the lower waters, the lower waters cried, Ribbono Shel Olam, we don't want to be here. We want to be with You. They came to Naharos Bavel, sham yashavnu gam bechinu. We cried the same cry with the waters. The waters, gam, we also cried the same cry. Ribbono Shel Olam, we want to be with You. The mayim, the waters, and what was takkeh the waters given? The mizbeach. I'd like to add this point. What do we do to take care of the waters that wanted to be close to the Eibishter? They were put on the mizbeach. Mizbeach means you're close to the Eibishter. You're on the mizbeach. So now that we had the churban...

We don't have that, also. So gam bechinu. Now that we don't have the Beis HaMikdash, just like the water is not going to cry, because the water is saying, We don't have a Beis HaMikdash. Our whole nechamah, our whole consolation was that we had the mizbeach. And now that we don't have that, so the waters go back to cry. Gam bechinu, and we cried with them, because we also feel menutak. We feel very separated from the Ribono Shel Olam. Chazal tell us that the shaarei dema'os, al eina'lu, the shaar of tears never close. The mefarshim ask, the Ketzker, the Ketzker asks, if it's never closed, then what's the point of having she'arim? What do you need a shaar for? If something never closes, then you don't need a door. You only need a door if you have to close it, right? So I always understood that's gufa what it means. It's to show you that the door is always open. How would you ever know that? By having a door that remains open. Maybe it's just a... The Ketzker would say, he would say that there are different types of tears. Some tears are more sincere; for them it's lo yin'alu. But then there's certain tears which are not sincere, and since they're not sincere, the door closes on them. And I never understood sincere tears not... You know, one of the things you can't make up is tears. It's one of the things that... right? Anybody who needs to cry... Either they've taken onion or they're really crying. There's no way to make fake tears. It doesn't really exist. So what does insincere tears mean? So I thought maybe, maybe, maybe this is the kavana. The kavana is as follows, maybe, maybe. When the tears are about you, so it's like anything else, tefillah. You could daven. Sometimes they're open, sometimes they're closed. As a matter of fact, from the time of the Churban, Sasam tefilasi, right? It says clearly that the shaarei tefillah started to close from the time of the Churban. So what's the ma'alah of the dima then? So what's so special? I daven, no. But if I cry, that has an open pass by the she'arei shamayim. And I think, rabosai, the pshat is as follows. When it's about you, that's what we call fake tears. Then there's pure tears, tears which are kadosh, tears which come from the neshama, that they want to connect with the Ribono Shel Olam. Those tears can never be sent away. There's no such thing. Yom Kippur, by ne'ilah, we say clearly, Ribono Shel Olam, take our tears and put them in a pouch, in a basket, and keep them under Your kisei hakavod. B'noit chaliyos, there's a certain pouch. The Ribono Shel Olam takes the tears, yeah, and he puts them, and he collects them, and he uses them whenever it's needed, these tears. Why are these tears? And we talk about it on Yom Kippur by Neilah. It's interesting, huh? Why by Neilah, by Yom Kippur, do we talk about these tears? I feel Neilah is a time where the person connects the most with the Ribono Shel Olam. Yom Kippur, through the process of Yom Kippur, yeah, through the process of Yom Kippur, the tears that a person cries, he gets closer and closer to the Ribono Shel Olam. So those tears, we tell the Ribono Shel Olam, take those tears b'noit chaliyos, because even though there's such a thing called ne'ilas she'arim, what is ne'ilah? Ne'ilah means we're closing the gates. But the tears, the gates never close. So we tell the Ribono Shel Olam, take the tears and put them b'noit chaliyos in the security deposit, and when we're going to need them. So cry when you need it. Why does the Ribono Shel Olam have to take the tears and keep them in a security bank for a time? When the time comes, you'll cry. And the answer...

Those tears might be tears of pain. The tears we're talking about are not the tears of pain. We're talking about the tears that a Jew cries, that he wants to be connected to the Rabbeinu Shalom. And those the Rabbeinu Shalom puts away. Those are special tears. You see, not all tears are in the same caliber of bechiyah shel emes. There's bechiyah. Avada, people cry for different things. That's tefillah. It's no different than any other tefillah. But then there's certain times where the Yid cries where it's completely kadosh. The tear itself is just Rabbeinu Shalom, and that's what Yirmiyahu saw. Yirmiyahu saw at that moment, bechiyah achas. One tear. It only takes one tear. But one tear and that's it? Bechiyah achas, one cry. That's all that's needed. And the Torah says, Rabbeisai, we don't mean crying. We mean something completely different. Bechiyah achas means the breakdown where the Yid connects with the Rabbeinu Shalom through bechi. This bechi is what Yirmiyahu said, if we only had one, one, one, one bechi, banai, if my children would have cried just one tear, this would have brought out that it shouldn't be a galus. This is the avodah, Rabbeisai, on Tisha B'Av. Unfortunately, we dry. Unfortunately, we dry. The galus made us dry. You have to find within you, there's in every Yid a longing for the Rabbeinu Shalom. That we miss the fact that we're not connected to the Ribono Shel Olam. You know, I always say over, I don't know if the oilam knows this, there's a very famous song, Chassidim claim it's theirs, Litvisher claim it's theirs. The niggun sheba is irrelevant, but the words have came down from many generations as a tremendous mussar. It talks about a fish, that the fish in the water can't really see it. And you know why you can't see it? Because the ocean is very deep. The ocean is deep. Had the waters not been deep, then I'd see the fish. That's how it starts the song. Then it has a second stanza, and that is, you know the sun, when you're in a big forest, you can't see the sun. Why not? Because the trees are very thick. Had the trees not been so thick, then the sun would shine through. These are the example. And what's the nimshal, which is the third stanza, and that is, Shechinah, Shechinah, where are you? The galus is so long, so long the galus. Had the galus not been so long, the Shechinah would be seen more. As time moves on, we see less and less. We're less and less connected. That's what happens. Oirech hagalus brings about a lack of connection to the Shechinah. The bakashah, the tefillah, and the cry of Tisha B'Av, Hashiveinu Hashem eilecha, v'nashuvah, chadesh yameinu. Kekedem. What once was, what's once was, not the same anymore. As time goes on, it gets less and less. Ribono Shel Olam, return us. Not just return, aber kekedem, the way it was. Oirech hagalus makes it that it's further and further away. Let's daven bizoiche. If we cry the proper tears of Tisha B'Av, Ribono Shel Olam will tell us, Nachamu, Yerushalayim, zoiche v'ro'eh b'nechamasah, that we should be zoiche to see it. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.