The Three Loves, Part 3: Ahavas Yisrael and Seeing the Good in Every Jew

Transcript

This Torah class is brought to you by TorahAnytime.com. Today's shiur is Hashem yisbarach. We're going to speak about Ahavas Yisrael. In past weeks, we spoke about Ahavas Hashem, Ahavas HaTorah. This week, we're going to speak about Ahavas Yisrael. It's very appropriate as we approach Tisha B'Av, when we mourn the Churban Beis Hamikdash, which Chazal tell us was destroyed. The Beis Hamikdash was destroyed because of sinas chinam, a lack of Ahavas Yisrael. So it's appropriate, and it's the right time to speak about Ahavas Yisrael. What is Ahavas Yisrael? The pasuk tells us, V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. It's a pasuk in Parshas Kedoshim. The pasuk says, V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, that you have to love. This is in perek yud tes, pasuk yud ches, lo sikom v'lo sitor es bnei amecha, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, ani Hashem. We all know that religion is about Hashem. It's about God. Torah. It's one of the pinnacles of our religion. Today we're going to learn the importance of Ahavas Yisrael, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, that it's also one of the tenets of our religion, of what it means to be a Yid. It's ikrim, ikrim, the main parts of our Yiddishkeit, of our emunah, of our religion, to love, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. If you look at the pasuk v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, there's a Sifri. The Sifri says, Amar Reb Akiva. Reb Akiva says, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, ze klal gadol baTorah. This is a big rule, a klal gadol, a big rule in our Torah. Whenever you have a big rule, there's got to be smaller rules, otherwise it can't be a big rule. Big means in relevance to the others which are smaller. So what are the small rules of the Torah? Klal gadol, a big rule. What are the small rules? There's a beautiful pshat from Chiddushei Harim, the Gerer Rebbe would say over. The beginning of the parsha where v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha is mentioned, is brought, speaks about kedusha. Daber el kol adas Bnei Yisrael, it's in Parshas Kedoshim. Daber el kol adas Bnei Yisrael, v'amarta aleihem kedoshim tihyu. Kedusha. Ishi v'am v'tira'u, al tifnu el ha'elim. This is inyanim of kedusha. And then the pasuk tells us, as a continuation of all these spiritual, lofty dinim, kedusha, inyanei kedusha, it says, V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. And that's why Rabbi Akiva points out, zeh is klal gadol baTorah. Everything we read till now, kedoshim, kedusha, spirituality, that's called klal katan. That's the smaller rules. That's the klal katan of the Torah. What is the klal gadol? What is the greatest rule of the Torah, the number one rule in the Torah is V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha. That klal gadol means there's got to be a klal katan. And what is the klal katan? Kedoshim to you. People have a different view of things. You looked at spirituality, that's tremendous yesod of Yiddishkeit, of Judaism. V'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha is important. Rabbi Akiva, according to the Ger Rebbes, are teaching us.

Reb Akiva is teaching us, no, this is the klal gadol baTorah. It's interesting, v'ahavta l'reacha. Reacha. What does the word reacha mean? We find in the Torah many different words which seem to mean the same thing, which could have been in the same place of reacha. We find achicha. Many times when we talk about our fellow brother, another Jew, it says achicha. Here it says the word reacha. V'ahavta l'reacha, not v'ahavta l'achicha. Why does it say reacha? So it's interesting. Achicha would be a brother, a physical, a human being, a brother. But there's also deeper meaning to the word reacha, and actually it's a Gemara in Shabbos, daf lamed aleph. The Gemara tells the story of a ger who came to Hillel, and he asked Hillel if he could learn the entire Torah on one foot. And as we've just learned, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha is the klal gadol baTorah, and that was Hillel's response: Ma d'sani lach l'chavercha, or l'reacha lo sa'avid. Don't do to your friend, don't do to your friend what you don't want should be done to you. Reacha. Don't do l'reacha what you don't want, which is v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, and that's the entire Torah. And the rest is peirush; zil gemor, go learn the rest of the Torah now, and you can become a ger. By just learning and understanding, V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, that's the start. That's the klal gadol. That's what Rabbi Akiva meant. Rashi explains re'echa doesn't mean your friend. At first Rashi gives a different pshat: re'echa means the Eibishter. Re'echa v'rea avicha, referring to the Ribono Shel Olam. Don't do to the Ribono Shel Olam what the Ribono Shel Olam is asking you not to do, which means to keep the mitzvahs. V'ahavta l'reecha has a new meaning now. Ma d'sani lach l'chavercha—it's not chavercha, it's re'echa. It's not achicha, it's re'echa. Re'echa is the Ribono Shel Olam, Hashem, God. Re'echa. Re'echa v'rea avicha. And then Rashi brings the second pshat, lishna achrina, a second pshat. It means literally your friend. The simple pshat in the pasuk, V'ahavta l'reecha kamocha. Interesting. So the pasuk has two meanings. V'ahavta l'reecha either means v'ahavta re'echa—yes, literally your friend, your brother, another Jew—but re'echa could also mean the Eibishter. So it's put together in one rule. It's put together in one halacha: v'ahavta, to love and to respect Hashem; v'ahavta l'reecha, lishna achrina, another pshat, to love and to respect your friend. It's put together for a reason, rabosai. You know why it's put together? Because you can't have one without the other. V'ahavta l'reacha can only be—to love your brother can only be if you love the Eibishter, and vice versa. You can only be called someone who loves the Eibishter if you love your friend. The yesod of v'ahavta l'reacha, it can't be separated from v'ahavta es Hashem. Loving Hashem and loving Klal Yisroel is one and the same. And the mefarshim explain that's why actually the pasuk ends off, V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, Ani Hashem. Why does it end off Ani Hashem? Why does the pasuk conclude Ani Hashem? To teach us that if you don't have v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, then I'm not Ani Hashem. I'm not. Ani Hashem is dependent on v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. I was zoche to be around many great gedolim, many tzaddikim, and I've always heard this concept.

Those that love the eibishter will love Klal Yisroel. Those that don't love the eibishter don't love Klal Yisroel. It just goes hand in hand. Kudsha Brich Hu, v'Oraysa v'Yisrael, and this we speak constantly, this concept. We have to understand the tenet, what is Yiddishkeit all about, and that is the connection: Hashem, the Torah, and Klal Yisroel. You can't separate that. A person can't live thinking he'll love the eibishter if he won't love his fellow brother. And of course, like we spoke last week, you have to love the Torah as well. It goes hand in hand. It goes all together, and it can't be separated. It's all Kudsha Brich Hu, Yisrael, v'Oraysa chad hu. This is yesod, ha-yesoidos, yesod of Yiddishkeit. How do we achieve it? How do we reach that? It's very difficult, rabosai. To talk about love of Hashem is much easier. Hashem is great. God is Almighty. The Torah, rachava min yam, is great. But then when we start talking about Ahavas Yisrael, everyone sits and thinks. We know so many people, do so many things that are wrong, and so many people have done wrong to us. We have so many complaints about... Neighbors and friends, and maybe rightfully so. Maybe rightfully so. So how do we work about Ahavas Yisroel? Now, if you notice, the loshon, the language of the Chazal is that the Beis Hamikdash was nechrav because of sinas chinam. Chinam. Chinam in Yiddish means, I'm zist, for no reason. Chinam. Everybody claims it's not chinam. Everybody claims, I hate him for a reason. I have good reasons not to like this one and that one and this chug and this sect of Klal Yisroel, and you could give a whole list of complaints, and maybe they're even true. So how do we combat sinas chinam? Or maybe that's not even called sinas chinam. Maybe it's not chinam. They say over a very nice mashal, a story, Reb Chaim Brisker. Reb Chaim Brisker, as a child, once got into a quarrel with a friend, which turned into a fistfight. Reb Chaim smacked the kid of his friend across the face twice, gave him two frasks. Yiddish, you call it zwei frask, two punches across the face. The Beis Halevi calls him in, and the Beis Halevi says, Tzi emes? Is it true, Chaiml, you hit your friend twice? Zwei petchim and ponim? He said, Yes, tata, tatte, it's true. Yes, it's, it's. But he deserved it because he gave me a patch. He started, he gave me a patch. So the Beis Halevi was a very sharp mind, charifus. He says, Chaimel, good, one patch. He gave you a patch, you gave him back a patch. But why did you give him two patch? Why did you smack him twice? He said, Chad hu natal li al chinam. He gave me for no reason. He started. So chad hechzarti lo, one, I gave him back because I owed him. He gave me a patch, I had to give him back. And the second one I gave him al chinam, because that's when he gave me a patch for nothing. Dershte patch, tzitapgekumen, he hit me, I owed it to, he deserved it. The second one is, kasher zamam, I gave him back. He tried to hit me for no reason, gave him back for no reason. I like to use this as an example in relationships with people. Our relationship with people is first of all we give back, and then we add al chinam, because he did it also al chinam. And every person always thinks, no matter how much he returns, it's with a cheshbon that the other person deserved it. So it's not chinam anymore.

There's always two sides to a story. There's always legitimate complaints. There's always legitimate issues. So then it's not chinam, and therefore every person could excuse away his behavior. It's not sinas chinam. So what do we do? How do we fix? I'd like to introduce to you, rabosai, to share with you a few points, a few advices on how to combat sinas chinam, that we should be able to overcome and for Karet to become ahavas chinam. It's better to transgress ahavas chinam than to be over, chas v'shalom, sinas chinam. I'd like to give you an interesting observation. Bilam, and I thought about this for a while, Bilam comes to where Klal Yisrael is shochein lishvatav, Klal Yisrael is resting in the Midbar, and his purpose is to curse Klal Yisrael. The mefarshim explain that why did Bilam need to come? Why was Bilam moved to come to see in order to curse? He could have cursed Klal Yisrael from where he was. So the pashut pshat, the simple answer is ayin hara. Chazal, the Mishnah in Avos, perek hei, tells us that Bilam had a tremendous ayin hara. An evil eye, and he was trying to be machnis ayin hara into Klal Yisroel, and could be, for that you need to be near Klal Yisroel. Al kol panim, you need to be able to see where you could put the ayin hara into Klal Yisroel. And from afar, it may be a little bit more difficult to be machnis an ayin hara, maybe. But if you look at the mefarshim, they explain that Bilam actually came to see if he could root out chesronos, weaknesses in Klal Yisroel, and point them out, and bring them out, and elaborate on them, and with this the klalah, the curse, would be chal. So he came to see firsthand where he could catch Klal Yisroel. V'hu tegechat Klal Yisroel by an aveirah, by a chisaron. We all know that it didn't work. Bilam came and he saw beautiful Klal Yisroel. Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov. He saw Klal Yisroel resting, and he was moved, and he was elevated. He was nisragesh to give them a bracha. Bilam, every time he gives a bracha, Balak advises Bilam, let's go to another section, and let's see Klal Yisroel from this section, from this corner, and then maybe you'll be able to curse Klal Yisroel from there. The lashon of the pasuk that Balak tells Bilam is, Let's go over here, אפס קצהו תראה. You'll be able to see from this corner, the kula loisira, all of it, the entire Klal Yisroel. You won't see. V'kochenu sham, v'kavayli, and there you'll curse Klal Yisroel. What did Balak mean, the kula loisira? I mean, if you see only efes, k'tzeihu, if you only see us in angle, so you don't see all of it, what's the redundant language, and what does Balak want by stressing you won't see all the entire Klal Yisroel? The mefarshim explain that Balak understood that in order to find chisronos in Klal Yisroel, you have to look at efes k'tzeihu. You got to look from one angle. But if you look at all of Klal Yisroel, kuloi, you look at the entire picture, it's beautiful. And Balak wants that Bilam should focus on this chisaron and that chisaron, but v'kuloi, I don't want you to see, because then, like really did happen, Bilam becomes moved when he sees Yisroel, shochein l'shvatav, ma tovu ohalecha Yaakov, mishkenosecha Yisroel.

When you start to focus on one chisaron and this problem and that issue, you'll come up short. But if you look at the entire picture, you'll see the beauty of Klal Yisrael. From an organization of chesed, somebody came to speak to me, the head of an organization, and he was speaking out how difficult it is for him to run the organization because of all the politics and all the issues and all the troublemakers who make it difficult. So I told him, let me tell you something. You're right. This is a problem and that's a problem. This is an issue. But at the end of the day, as much as Klal Yisrael fights, so to speak, nobody rallies around the mitzvah, around the chesed, as much as Klal Yisrael does. You know, when Bilam wanted to curse Klal Yisrael, he goes with his donkey, and three times he is pushed back by the donkey and he hits the donkey three times. And Chazal say it was a remez. Chazal, the Gemara tells us, the Midrashim tell us that this was a remez. This was supposed to be a hint, an eye-opener to him, that you're trying to destroy Klal Yisrael, uma chogeges shalosh regalim. Klal Yisrael goes three times to the Beis Hamikdash to be oleh regel. That's the nation that you're trying to curse and annihilate. The Farishim will ask, why this mitzvah more than any other mitzvah? How about umah that puts on tefillin, an umah that eats matzos? There's so many other mitzvahs. Why was the complaint against Bilam, you're trying to destroy a klal Yisrael that is chaygeg shalosh regalim, three Yomim Tovim, regel, oleh regel, they go to the Beis Hamikdash to celebrate three Yomim Tovim. Mir datzach, I believe the pshat is very simple. One of the tenets and the tafkid of oleh regel is b'voi kol Yisrael liro'os es פני השם. All of Klal Yisrael unite to come to see the Eibishter in the Beis Hamikdash. Every seven years we have Hakhel, that Klal Yisrael comes together, unifies within the Beis Hamikdash as a tzibur, as a community. The Beis Hamikdash unites the entire Klal Yisrael. Yes, in the home. Yes, back home before they come, there could be pirudim, there could be dissension, factions, different shuls and different shitas. But look how they unite when they rally liro'os, to see the Eibishter. We unite after the Rabbeinu Shleilam. That unites us. And Bilam, you're trying to destroy the Klal Yisroel by thinking that what? That you're going to find pirudim, you're going to find that they have chisronos and they're splintered. And the answer is, no, they're not. Because even if they bicker, those are small issues. But when they unite, B'voi kol Yisroel l'rois es פני השם around the Ribono Shel Olam, nobody unites like them. And Bilam, therefore, you won't have any success. And this is what I told this head of organization. I said, look at the end result. When it comes to doing the chesed, they unite. Could be till they get to do it, they're bickering and factions, but nobody rallies, nobody rallies like a Yid. I'd like to share with you a maiseh, and then another vort, and then another maiseh, and hopefully with this we'll be zoche to bring Yidden together, and we'll have the zechus to bring Moshiach and the Binyan Beis Hamikdash. When my son was born.

It was a whole night, labor. In the morning, me, my mother-in-law, who was there during the birth, she was very tired. So I offered to get her a coffee from the basement, the ground floor of the hospital. There's a cafeteria. Six-thirty in the morning, I walk into the cafeteria. It's a kosher cafeteria, and a woman who was obviously not religious and who had a chip on her shoulder about religious Jews came over to me with excitement, and she said to me, You heard in the news what happened to a certain sect of Chassidim that caught a certain group of people that was smuggling things into the countries where they shouldn't have been smuggling. It's not important the details. And she said it with such excitement and like, You see, you see, this is what we call religious Jews. This is a sentiment that unfortunately is echoed by a lot. As much as I love every Jew, and I love this person as well, in my heart I love the person, but I knew I had to respond. I was very hurt by her brazen conviction across the board of religious Jews. But I knew because I have Ahavas Yisroel and I love every Jew, it's difficult for me to respond. It was hard for me to find the right words to rebuke her and to answer her. I remember thinking, Ribono Shel Olam, help me. I mean it lichvod Yisrael. I mean it in the honor of Yidden. I mean it to bring out kavod Yisrael. Give me the right words that I could respond. And this is what came to my mind, and it was sharp, yet I felt it was appropriate because there was a big lesson to the words that I used, to the sentiment that I expressed. I said, You know, you're right. It's taka something which is very embarrassing, what happened. I'm not going to legitimize the act that happened, but I just want you to know that if you ever fell in the street and you needed help, first aid response, the first to jump to your aid, to help you, would be these chassidim with their hatzalah. They would run, not looking left or right, to help you. Don't talk about them. You might need them one day. It was sharp, and I was surprised that this is what came out of my mouth. But I knew I said the right thing, because what was I telling her? With all the defaults, but when push comes to shove, one Yid for another Yid would sacrifice himself. Years later, I was zoche. To see in reality, in action, the words that I conveyed. My children davened Chalamoid Sukkos in the beis medrash of these chassidim that had a later minyan. My children went there. And as I waited for my children to come out, I hear tremendous screaming, commotion, and all of a sudden I hear one chassidish younger man telling the other, Dovidel iz a fozetik, which means, Be careful. Ot a biks, he has a gun, a gun. I hear the word gun. I was ready to put my foot on the gas and get out of there, but my children were waiting in the shul. They were coming out, and I was waiting for them. I couldn't move, and I looked around. Some of my children were already in the car, waiting for the two other, the older ones to come out. And we noticed what was happening. There was a guy who was trying to abduct a Yiddishe kind from Brooklyn in Borough Park. And these chassidim were coming out from this beis medrash after davening with the lulav and esrog in their hand, and they see this.

And they're running to save the child, to protect the child, to grab him away from the abductor. And they're screaming one to the other. Instead of screaming, He has a gun, and they're running away, they're screaming to each other as they're running towards the guy, Just be careful, he has a gun. It didn't faze them that they're putting their life in danger to save another Yiddishe kind, to save a Jewish child. And they were successful. They subdued the guy. The police came, and I was zocheh, merited to see this beautiful sight, this spiritual sight, which I will never forget for the rest of my life. And I sat there and I wondered why I was merited to see this. And right away came to my mind that ten years before, almost to the day, I said this meiletz yosher on this particular chassidus and the chassidim of the chassidus, that they'll be the first ones to be moser nefesh. They'll be the first ones to sacrifice to be able to save you, to save another Jew. So the Eibishter gave me to see it. I was zocheh to see it with my own eyes. I'd like to conclude with a vort and another story. The Gemara tells us that there's a very big machlokes if somebody is together with his friend in a desert and they only have one kli shel mayim, one jug of water. So what do you do? Only one could drink and the other will die. So who drinks and who dies? A tremendous dilemma, unfortunately, in the times of the Holocaust, this was so relevant. Jews saving themselves, but then other Jews would take their place on the lists of people to be taken away, to be killed. Tremendous moral dilemma, dilemma in Yiddishkeit. What do you do? So the first man d'amar, the first shita in the Chachamim is, says the Gemara, Shnayim sheheim holchim baderech, uvyad echad meihem kiton shel mayim; im shosim shneihem, meisin. They both die. If one drinks, one lives and the other dies. What do you do? Darash ben Petura, mutav sheyishtu shneihem. It's better they both drink a little bit and they both die. V'al yireh echad meihem b'misaso shel chaveiro. And one should not see his friend die. Both drink and both die, even though there's not enough for both. That's what you have to do. Rabbi Akiva came and said, No, v'chei achicha imach, a special limud that if it's yours, it's your kiton shel mayim, your life comes before the life of another person. Chidushei Harim asks the question, What does it mean mutav? Just give me the halacha. The halacha is they both drink and they both die. What do you mean mutav, it's better? Pasken, give us the halacha, the final rule and the conclusive rule. First man d'amar says that they both drink and they both die, and the second one says, no, you drink because your life comes first. What's the expression of the Chazal, the wording that Chazal chose? Mutav. It's better. Says the Chiddushei Harim, it's trying to teach you a lesson that even if it's possible that the halacha might be like Rabbi Akiva, that you drink and you don't concern yourself that your friend will die because your life comes first, but in concept, in ideology, in hashkafa, mutav. You should know it was better off. You would have been better off not to see your friend die, because for a Yid, it might be the worst thing to see that another Jew loses his life in front of your face. Mutav. It's not a halacha. It's almost like an advice that we give, knowing one needs love for another Jew. Mutav. You would have been better off. Listen, rabboisai, it's a moiridike pshat in the Chazal. Mutav. Understand yourself. Understand.

What a Yid is. Chazal are telling us, Yid, you could never overcome the sight to see your friend die while you lived, and you would have been better off never to see that. Ki tov mosi mechayai. When a Yid sees another Jew suffer, lose his life, deep down in the core of his neshama, it's as if he lost his life. And you will never, ever heal from the loss of your friend's life, and you would have been better off if you would have died and not seen it. That's what Chazal are teaching. They're going to the essence, the core of a Yid. What is a Yid? A Yid is mutav. It's better for him, because he'll never recuperate from seeing his friend die. I'd like to end with the following, rabosai. My wife and son took a trip to Eretz Yisroel. Part of the tour, they took them to the base of an army where they train soldiers. And the general who was heading this training camp said that from all over the world, soldiers from different countries come, and they get training over here in this base. And why do they come to Israel, to the Israeli army, to learn, to train? And he showed an interesting observation. He made a drill of a terrorist attack. And the people there thought it was real. They didn't even realize that it was just a mimic. And he showed the way the soldiers jump over the civilians to protect them. And they give up their lives in savior of the civilian, of the innocent civilian. And he said something unique. He said, You see, our army is different than any other army. Our moral standard is different than any other moral standard. As a Jewish soldier, we are trained that our life is secondary to the life of another Jew. And so, we have tremendous hatzlacha. We have tremendous success in our ability to be a soldier. The nations produce soldiers, but they don't have this core moral value, this clarity of my life is secondary to the life of the other person. Yes, they're trained to do their duty. It's a duty. They fight, and they might even give up their lives, but it's in the protection of country. It's in the protection of the law. But by us, it's even deeper. It's one Jew for another Jew. And therefore, we're very successful. And they come here from all over the world to try to replicate, but it doesn't really work. There's no soldier like the Jewish soldier. I may add, because there's no heart like the Jewish heart. There's nothing like Yisrael mi kamcha Yisrael, goy echad. We are one nation b'aretz, and you can't divide us no matter how much chisronos and no matter how many complaints. Like I said, sometimes they're legitimate complaints, and sometimes it's weaknesses that we have. But in the sum total, it's mi kamcha Yisrael, goy echad b'aretz. And when you understand this, any hatred that you have is really sinas chinam. It's taka. When you have the right focus, when you see the bigger picture, it's really sinas chinam to hate another Jew, because you hate yourself. When you look in the mirror, you hate yourself. No matter what you did wrong, it's going to be sinas chinam to hateing yourself. V'ahavta l'reacha, no rabosai, kamocha. What does kamocha mean? You and him is one. Loving him is loving yourself. Hating him would be hating yourself. There is nothing that warrants one to hate himself. This is the ideal. This is the hashkafah.

Shkafa of the Torah, of Yadus. This is a moment, rabboisai, where we could join together in understanding who we are as a nation, as a Yid, as a Klal Yisrael, that we could join together b'achdus. And this will be the introduction to lead us towards the binyan Beis Hamikdash, to the coming of Moshiach. We won't have to sit on the floor this Tisha B'Av. We'll be able to rejoice, Oleh Regel b'voi kol Yisrael, as we unite in the Beis Hamikdash to be oleh regel, to see the most beautiful binyan, the binyan of the Beis Hamikdash in its glory, bimheirah b'yameinu, amen. You've just experienced another Torah class, brought to you by TorahAnytime.com.