Elul, Awe, and Closeness to Hashem

Topics

• Awe and Fear
• Kiddushah and the Shofar
• A Maiseh from the Alter of Slabodka
• Shabbos as the Real World
• Shabbos and Bechinas Tzaddik
• Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li
• Atoh V’Chartanu, Ahavto Yisrael, Keravtanu Malkeinu
• Chazal on Dveikus and the Need for Keravtanu
• Elul, Closeness, and Siyata D’Shmaya
• The Zohar on u’vachta es avia v’es ima
• Consolation, Elul, and What Endures
• Elul and the Real World
• Returning to the Gemara
• Knowledge, Gishmak, and What Endures
• A Purim Vart on the Song
• The Force of a Wave
• The Lesson of Immediate Strength

Transcript

# Awe and Fear

Either that—Naira is not afraid of Yerushalayim. Naira is afraid of Yerushalayim. It is days of war, not days of fear. They are two different feelings. Fear is days of war. Gilu beraddu. That’s right. That’s what I told you. That’s what the Baalei Mussar would say: gilu beraddu. Yes, and that is what I was telling you, that the Baalei Mussar would say it is possible to be happy and afraid at the same time.

I would say it like this: the word Naira does not mean fear. The word Naira means awe, and for the first time they translate it correctly. Usually they are off. Usually they say, you know, that it is not that—days of awe. Very good, you said it right. Not days of fear; it is days of awe.

# Kiddushah and the Shofar

Now, what is the awe? This is the awe: every time we have Kiddushah, we have to blow the shofar. Give me a raya. Who has a raya that every time there is Kiddushah we blow shofar? What else? Shabbos. When we want to announce the coming of Shabbos, how do we announce it? When you think there is a siren in Boro Park. The truth is, the siren in Boro Park has a makor, meaning not the makor you think it is. It is not the makor that we want to announce to the people that it is Shabbos. In the old days we used to blow shofar. The announcement of Kiddushah: shofar.

Why Shabbos? Shabbos is not Kiddushah? Shabbos is Kiddushah. No, I am saying because of the Kiddushah. Let me ask you a very simple question: was the world created for the six days of yemei hama’aseh, or was it created for the seventh day of Shabbos? Which world? You said it well— which world, right? The world thinks it was created for sheshet yemei hama’aseh, right? We know that it is all to get to Shabbos, right? Good, but that is the taanis, right? It depends what world you live in. Someone is going to ask, what do you mean? But this is six days and this is—yes. It takes a lot of preparation. To die for the one day, for example. How much preparation you put into it.

# A Maiseh from the Alter of Slabodka

I once told you a maiseh: the Alter of Slabodka, this is from my baba, from my zayde, zatzal, lebrocha—excuse me, my zayde, zatzal, lebrocha—used to come to the door of his house every Friday night after Ma’ariv and wait. So the talmidim were thinking that he was having kavanos, malachim, ma’asim, you know, the malachim of Amalaviyuna. So they asked him, Rebbe, what are the thoughts that you have? He said, I’ll tell you the truth: the wife put so much work into this for Shabbos, and I eat it up in a few minutes. Today, you know, all the different salads and all the different courses, right? And then later they didn’t have much fish and chicken. But she put a lot of work into that fish and chicken, yes? She had to buy it, and skin it, and scale it, and then clean it, and then cook it, and then raise and grind it—a ganze gesheft, yes? How long does it take to eat it? It is a second. She says, I could lose all the kavanah, the preparation. Look how much she prepared.

# Shabbos as the Real World

I think to myself: look how much went into it, so when I eat it, I should appreciate it. Look what my wife did for me, what she did for me on Shabbos, so that I should appreciate her.

Tell me, is it the preparation or is it the seudah? The seudah. Interesting. What is this world compared to the next world? The mashal is that someone asks you: what is the real world? It depends on what you call the real world. People say, “Okay, this is a yeshiva, but put it in the real world.” To me, the real world is the yeshiva. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Outside is the fake world; I don’t know what you’re talking about.

So what is the peshat? The peshat is that the real world is Shabbos. We prepare every single day just to get to Shabbos. What will he do? Every day, if I found something, it’s for Shabbos, because the days are only preparation. Imagine a guy eats all his food during the preparation while he’s cooking. The fish—he takes a bite, another bite, he eats it—and then when Shabbos comes, there’s nothing there. What are you doing? You’re preparing the meal for later, right?

There’s a famous story about this. He had cancer; it was life. He was in the hospital and suffered a lot. The doctors permitted him one candy, one candy. They gave it to him, and he put it in his pocket. Why? Save it for Shabbos. Save it for Shabbos. That is when a person lives the sheshes yemei hama’aseh in order to get to Shabbos. Shabbos is the real life. The sheshes yemei hama’aseh is only the preparation for Erev Shabbos.

Whenever we have kedushah, what is kedushah saying to us? This is not the real world. What is the real world? The spiritual is the real world. Sheifer—that is when sheifer comes into the picture. A whole year a person is busy and busy and busy. We blow the sheifer—what are we blowing the sheifer for? Sheifer, sheifer. What are you talking about? You missed the boat. What is the real world? The real world is that. The real world is trips and going and sitting and standing. That is why Elul is called yom kadosh, holy. Holy means not chol, not ordinary. And whenever it is not chol, there is the kiyum of sheifer.

# Shabbos and Bechinas Tzaddik

Moshal like this: Shabbos is what? We all know. Do you know what Shabbos is? No? No. What does it mean? What does it mean? It means he is not living in this world; he is living in another world. Peshat Shabbos, bechinas tzaddik, means, like the Chazon Ish writes, that he is not a person in the ordinary sense; he is a tzaddik. He is living in a different world. Shabbos is a different tzaddik. It is not the seventh day. It is not that six days are on the seventh day Shabbos. No. There are six days to get to Shabbos. There are six days and Shabbos. The peshat is: I got to Shabbos. Shabbos is the whole thing. Whenever we have kedushah, and whenever we have the announcement of Yom Kadosh, we have Shabbos.

# Ani L’dodi V’dodi Li

Ani l’dodi v’dodi li. Let’s talk about that: Ani l’dodi v’dodi li. What does it mean? Ani l’dodi v’dodi li — I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me. Could a person have sheichus to the Ribbono Shel Olam if the Ribbono Shel Olam had not been mekarveinu?

# Atoh V’Chartanu, Ahavto Yisrael, Keravtanu Malkeinu

Let’s talk l’maaseh. If it were only Atoh v’chartanu mikol ha’amim, or only Ahavto Yisrael, that would be one thing. But we say, Keravtanu Malkeinu l’ahavah Yisrael. Notice that we say these different expressions. Atoh v’chartanu mikol ha’amim. Ahavto Yisrael. Keravtanu Malkeinu l’ahavah Yisrael. What is Keravtanu Malkeinu? You brought us close.

I think there is a little more to it, a tiny bit more. Let us understand what is being brought out. You chose us, yes. But Keravtanu Malkeinu means you brought us close. Why do we need Keravtanu Malkeinu? Do we mean love? Do we mean warmth? Is that the nekudah, that it would not be only Keravtanu Malkeinu l’ahavah Yisrael, but Keravtanu Malkeinu? What does it mean, Keravtanu Malkeinu l’ahavah Yisrael? You brought us close to your ahavah Yisrael. You brought us close to You, or you brought us close to Your ahavah Yisrael?

# Chazal on Dveikus and the Need for Keravtanu

I think there is a way to get the hair up. Let me tell you what I am thinking. Avodas Hashem loves us. Bnei Matal Hashem — that is all nice. That is a different conversation. Chazal tell us: how can a person be dovek bo? “You get attached to Hashem,” says the pasuk. Chazal ask: what are you talking about? You get close to Hashem — it is fire. Fire.

That is Chazal. It is the end of that Chazal, one of them. There are two of them. The other one is this. What is the type of Chazal? And the answer is: because of the Keravtanu Malkeinu. Hashem brought us close. Hashem gave us the ability to be close to Him. Otherwise we would not be there. It would not be something shining like that.

My father mentioned this yesterday. There is a chiluk between a malach and a saraf. What is the chiluk between a malach and a saraf? Sarafim — what is the chiluk between sarafim and malachim? It is more or less the words of Chazal: the sarafim are closer, the malachim are far. The malachim do the work in this world; the sarafim are higher than the malach, and they are completely burnt up from Hashem. That is why it is called a saraf — it gets completely burnt up. Hashem is fire.

When you put something in fire, you want it to last. So the Ribbono Shel Olam did a tremendous thing. He took a Jewish woman and said, you are able to be kadosh, attached to Him through my son. Unbelievable. I take a little of an asterisk: I am close to the Hevra. How could that be? How are you close to the Hevra? What are you saying? That is what we are mekarav. Otherwise, how could we even do a zavaida? We would get burnt up.

You know, you make the smallest mistake in the Mishkan — what happens? You die. You are in the fire. You are so close to Hashem, it is eish ochlah. So the mistake finished.

# Elul, Closeness, and Siyata D’Shmaya

So how could you do it without a tunnel, without a volcano on the other side? Hashem, You brought us close to be able to do Your work. Yes, I want to do it, I want to do it — but I don’t want to. When the Rabbinic Leila brings us close, it has to be that the Rabbinic Leila brings us close.

All year round, it is brought down in Eicha, *Hashiveinu Hashem eilecha v’nashuvah*. We spoke about this many times. Hashem has to bring us. That is why it has to be *siyata d’shmaya*. There has to be the Rabbinic Leila helping us. *Ani l’dodi v’dodi li* — I come to the Rabbinic Leila. This is where a person is able to become attached to the Rabbinic Leila, and that is kedushah. That is Yom haKippurim, and at the peak of it is Yom Kippur, where a person is like a malach.

What is Yom Kippur? Yom Kippur is that we stand like malachim. Even our tefillos are compared to the malachim. We say, *Baruch Hashem kevod malchuso le’olam va’ed*. We say it aloud. Why? Because on Yom Kippur we are like malachim. Dress in white. That is the whole yesod.

So what is it? It starts with Elul. Elul is *Ani l’dodi*. We are starting to ascend from this world. We are ascending now to olamos. Yemei haDin, Yemei haRachamim — we are coming out of the physical, mundane world. We are coming closer to the Rabbinic Leila.

# The Zohar on *u’vachta es avia v’es ima*

I just want to end with one Zohar, and then I will tell you the mussar that is needed. There is a remarkable Zohar: *u’vachta es avia v’es ima*, the Yefas To’ar has to cry for her father and her mother. The Zohar says that Elul — yemei Elul — is *u’vachta es avia v’es ima*, and he speaks about bechi. A person has to cry.

Tell me, what does Yefas To’ar have to do with Elul? I have heard very cute connections, as they say, but this one is a wild one. The Yefas To’ar got taken in from war; she is in the house, and it says *u’vachta es avia v’es ima*. What is the peshat? How is that yemei Elul?

Many learn, and you see this in the Zohar, in the Maharal: *es avia* — a person is far from the Rabbinic Leila, crying out for the Rabbinic Leila, the Father. But why *es avia v’es ima*? I never understood this. If that is the peshat, then it should say *u’vachta es avia*. So why *es avia v’es ima*? I think that is a different peshat.

Let me tell you what I think the peshat is — mamash pashut peshat in the Zohar. What is she crying for? She is crying that she is not where she is supposed to be. She is in a home that is not her home. She is where she does not want to be and where she does not belong. She was captured. The Rabbinic Leila puts in the Torah that she is supposed to cry: *u’vachta es avia v’es ima*.

Elul is that we should cry. We are not where we are supposed to be. You know where we are? We are here. We do not belong here. We belong there. A Yid has to know he does not belong here. *Es avia v’es ima*. More nonsense and more nonsense and more — I came, I sat, I drank, I spoke, I watched. That is what I had. A good joke. Okay. Listen: in English we say, out of place. She is in the wrong place at the wrong time.

# Consolation, Elul, and What Endures

It’s been a long time. Bachtas, Abir, Vesima, Eilu — those are the days.

First, I have to tell you: with the yeshiva, we went through a tremendous hustle. Among us, Beshikara was brought there. You have to do something, because that’s the only way you’ll feel better. Those of you who do feel very bad — and many of you feel bad because it’s a tragedy, though many of you knew him well — I’m talking to myself as well, because, like I said, it’s very painful for me. I’m having a very hard time.

You have to realize that he’s laughing at us when we are crying for him. This world is not for him. This world is about putting pictures on Baila Bayah; that’s what it’s about. It’s not easy. I’m not saying it’s not easy. It’s very hard. But you have to do something.

Bachtas, Abir, Vesima — we’re here. We’re one of them. We should be one of them. We’re supposed to be one of them. It’s much better. My father said: if I promise you that he went straight to Gan Eden and told his daughter, would you be happy? Why? He said, you’ll live another few years. It’s a sad thing. We don’t ask for it. It happens.

# Elul and the Real World

The other lesson is that Elul is yameich. It’s not regular. Elul is a time. A person has to know this world is not here; it’s there. There’s nothing else. There’s nothing else. We learned this yesterday, but I’m sorry — there’s nothing else. This is what you take with you. Everything else stays behind.

We must start as man. We have to be strong. Start in learning. Start in hashkafah. Start in Yerushalayim. And we shall have hatzlachah. It will go day by day. It will go up and up and up until we reach Rosh Hashanah, and then we’ll reach Yom Kippur, and then we’ll have simchah — the real simchah.

You know, the Rosh Yeshiva speaks, the gaon speaks: why is it that Sukkos, Simchaseinu, which has to do with also afterwards, when Yom Tov Acharon, Simchas Torah — why is the simchah after Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur? And he says, because the only simchah is hakarah. That’s what it is. Simchah what? What are you going to have? Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur — you live in the real world. That’s where real simchah comes. Otherwise, there’s no simchah. And that’s Simchas Torah. Simchah comes after Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. That’s where the true happiness is. You hear?

# Returning to the Gemara

If you don’t mind me telling you, you might think that the day I sit, I stand, I come — it’s all nothing. I promise you that the day you sit down by your Gemara, you really put yourself back into it. It’s not easy. A lot of things are going through the head, I know. Believe me, I know. I guarantee you, because I can tell you, it’s the only thing that works for me also. And I’m just as normal as you, if not more. Trust me, I’m a normal person.

It’s finished? Why not? Give them some gute mussar. What happened? It’s finished? Gute mussar. What did I do last night until I conked out? I took a sefer. Otherwise, I’m not happy. After a day like yesterday, what’s going to happen? I took too much gifts — a mussar sefer. I started learning. It made me a little bit happy. A little bit. I’m not saying it’s a far cry from where I want to be. Sit down. I’m telling you. I buy your rubber. You know, you go in the street, you have to deal with Rachmaninoff and Jack and this guy and that guy and Hakuchinik and everybody’s Hakuchinik. Go sit and talk. I buy your rubber. They’re much better people.

# Knowledge, Gishmak, and What Endures

You'll have more knowledge, you'll have more gishmak. But, my Rava, Amri, can you imagine sitting there? My Rava, my Abaye is telling Rava, Rava is telling that—it’s gamauling, gamauling. It’s unbelievable. It’s a beautiful world in there.

How many times did I tell you, notice? I say, bring me Rabbi Kiveh Eiger. Tell me, are you going to Poland to dig up Rabbi Kiveh Eiger? Are you going to get him? Bring me Rabbi Kiveh Eiger, bring me the Rambam, if you can bring me the Rambam. You know what the answer is? That’s not the Rambam. The Rambam’s guf, his levush—this is the Rambam. Who do you think the Rambam is? Who do you think Rabbi Kiveh Eiger was? This is what is going to bring you happiness.

When you come to this hakarah, you understand all this. It sounds like big mussar, it sounds like lofty ideals. It’s not. You’re young still. You’ll come to the conclusion that it’s true. You’ll see. I’m going to come a day—I saw this yesterday, that’s what I saw yesterday. I saw yesterday that this is what you take with you; everything else doesn’t. You don’t take it with you. Not take it with you—nothing, nothing. What does he take with him? A bayin rabba, a bayin rabba, a bayin rabba; a bayin rabba, a bayin rabba, a bayin rabba, a bayin rabba, a bayin rabba. You’ll see, it’ll bring you some.

We’re starting this man. Tomorrow we’ll be sharing Kiddushin. Tomorrow, Monday, Tuesday, we’ll be sharing Kiddushin. Okay, let’s learn shtar, give it your best shot.

# A Purim Vart on the Song

For those of you who are dreaming of being in other places after Elul, but in the meantime you’re here, there’s a givaldik vart, one of the best I ever heard, honestly. It’s really one of the best I ever heard. As a matter of fact, I don’t know if it’s a printed vart, but it’s on the tapes. I heard it on one of his Purim tapes. No, he gave it to us. It was on Purim. He said, meridik vart. On Purim, he gave it to us. It was wonderful. No, the shiur was not—it was on Purim. It was on the tish that he had on Purim. Meridik vart.

He fetayched the song. There was a song in Europe: *Heint is Purim, morgen is ois.* Give me a grosh and a vart for that ois. Which means like this: today is Purim, tomorrow is finished. Give me a coin and throw me out of your house. Which means, I’m coming to collect the Purim ois, because you give me silke, silke, Purim. Today is Purim, tomorrow is not. I won’t come to you tomorrow, so give me a pen; today you throw me out.

He said, meridik vart. All you have to do is fetaych the song. He says, first of all, what’s the pshat, today is, tomorrow is not—what do you have to tell them? Second of all, why give me, throw me out? I mean, what are you trying to bring out? What’s the point of the song?

He said, meridik vart. It’s a vart by the Basra. It says that the Beis Hamikdash was painted by Hurdas, and when they wanted to repaint the Beis Hamikdash, the Gemara in Bava Basra says they didn’t want to do it. They wanted to keep the painting of Hurdas. What was the painting of Hurdas already on the Beis Hamikdash? Hurdas made a design. He took, like, blue and made the waves of the ocean and painted the Beis Hamikdash, you hear?

So first of all, a guy painted the Beis Hamikdash. First of all, why do you care? A guy comes and puts a painting on the Beis Hamikdash. Second of all, that’s what’s so special, so you can’t repaint it? It was chipping; they had to fix it. They wanted to keep it.

So he said, meridik vart, rabosai, it’s gevaldig. If you look at the history, Hurdas lived a few years before the Churban Habayis. Chazal knew that the Beis Hamikdash was coming to an end. What was so special about Hurdas’ painting of Gali Ayom? The wave of an ocean is something very interesting.

# The Force of a Wave

What does that mean? It means storms. Have you ever seen a wave coming in from the ocean? It comes with unbelievable force. The moment it hits the shore, what happens to it? It disappears. It just disappears. Where did the wave go? It could go anywhere. It rises, you know, fifty feet, and then it just disappears.

This is be’e safs, safs, which means that as long as it is going, it is strong. It may be over in one second. It is going to vanish, but when it is there, it is there, right? You stand in front of a fifty-foot wave and you will feel it. A minute later, it is finished. That is how you surf. It is finished.

# The Lesson of Immediate Strength

He said that the lesson was that because the Beis HaMikdash is still standing, it is with its strength. It is unbelievable, even though we know that soon it is going to disintegrate. Chazal wanted to keep that. He says that is the pshat.

Today is Purim. Tomorrow is not. But today it is. Give me a grosh. Throw me out. But now give me the grosh. There is something called what has to be done now.