Shavuos: Teaching Torah Makes Talmidim Like Children and Reveals Hashem’s Eternal Love

Transcript

Today, we're going to talk about Parshat HaShavua, Shvuos. This coming Friday, Shabbos is Shvuos. I want to talk about Shvuos. You know, there's a very interesting pasuk in Rashi and Chazal in the previous week's parsha that we just read. Who gave birth to Nadav, Avihu, and Elazar and Isamar? Really? Chazal tell us that it wasn't Aaron. Chazal tell us it was Moshe. And you know why Chazal tell us that? Because the pasuk tells us that. The pasuk says it clearly. It says, the pasuk, Eleh toldos... Ve'eileh toldos Aaron u'Moshe, by Revii, Bamidbar, beis—excuse me, gimel aleph—Ve'eileh toldos Aaron u'Moshe. Ve'eileh toldos Aaron u'Moshe. Says Rashi, but ve'eino mazkir ela bnei Aharon. It only says the children of Aharon. So why are they called toldos Moshe? Lefi shelimdan Torah. Melamed. Chalamelamed has been chaveire Torah, malo v'kasuv k'ilu yoldo, it's as if he gave birth to him. The mekor of this is a Gemara in Sanhedrin, Yud Tes amud beis. There's another Gemara. The Gemara on Tzadik Tes amud beis says, Amar Reish Lakish, chalamelamed has been chaveire Torah k'ilu asa'oi, it's as if he created him. So here we have two Gemaras which seemingly say the same thing. One Gemara is k'ilu yelado, as if he gave birth to him. One Gemara, k'ilu asa'o, as if he created him. Is there a difference? Obviously, if there's two different Gemarot, there must be a difference. What is the difference? K'ilu yelado and k'ilu asa'o, what's the difference? Notice that the Gemara on Yud Tet that says k'ilu yelado is learned from Moshe. The Gemara on Tzadik Tes that says k'ilu asa'o was learned from who? From Avraham Avinu, because it says, v'es hanefesh asher asu, that he created in Charan. So one is learned from Moshe, yelado, and one is learned from Avraham Avinu, asa'o. What's the difference? I'll tell you an interesting difference. The Maharsha on the Gemara Tzadik Tes explains. Ki mosar ha'adam min habehemah ayin. Man and animal to be the same thing. Ki hakol hava, it's all nothing, the man and the person, right? What makes a human being different than an animal? What creates Adam? Torah. So if you teach him Torah, it's k'ilu asa'o. Before that, you could visit him in the zoo and pay twenty dollars to see him. Afterwards, you teach him Torah, you can come to the yeshiva and learn by him. That's the difference. Gemara. Marsha. Marsha says, man is ape without Torah. Man is Rosh Yeshiva tzaddik with Torah. Big difference, right? So when you create Adam, how do you create him? You created him through Torah. This is what it says in the Gemara, Sanhedrin, tzaddik tes. Avraham Avinu, maybe he made asa'o. He created people. You know how he created? He made kiruv rechokim. V'et hanefesh asher asu b'Charan, the nefesh that he made in Charan. He made, he created, asa. That's kiruv. Avraham Avinu didn't sit and teach Torah.

L'sheim mitzvas Talmud Torah, because there was no Talmud Torah. Was there Talmud Torah in the times of Avraham Avinu? No. Hagam, one could ask, if you mean kiruv rechokim, so why does it say, Kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah? The Gemara says, Kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah. If you're referring to kiruv rechokim, so why are you calling it melamed ben chaveirei Torah? Lanias daiti, I believe that we spoke about this many times in the past. How do you do kiruv rechokim? How do you? Do you do kiruv rechokim by teaching them about God and His infinity and all the different Sefiros and who knows what? Or do you teach through Torah, through Bava Metzia, Bava Kama, Bava Basra? So we spoke about this, that you're supposed to teach emunah. You're supposed to teach yadus. Even when you want to do kiruv rechokim, it has to be through what? Through Torah. So the Gemara is right. Kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah, ki'ilu asa'o. We're talking about Avraham Avinu. Avraham Avinu did kiruv, right? He was makiruv rechokim. Aval melamed ben chaveiro Torah, it has to be done through what? Kacha katuv, l'chura, it's a pshat pashut, me'od yafeh, barur, huh? Okay. So from one pasuk we learn, ki'ilu yelado. That's when you teach Torah. From the pasuk from Avraham Avinu we learn, asa'o. You hear? Okay. Now let me ask you, what's it nogea? Why does the Gemara tell me, ki'ilu yelado, ki'ilu asa'o? What's the point of it? Is it lahalacha? Is it l'hashkafa? What do we want? You teach somebody Torah, asa'o, you made him. You gave birth to him. So the truth is, there's a very interesting pasuk: V'shinantam levanecha, teach your son. Says Rashi, banecha, eilu hatalmidim. Who's referring? Not referring to your children. It's referring to the students, eilu hatalmidim, shehatalmidim kruyim banim. Students are called banim. Students are called banim. Says the Sifri, like it says, Banim atem laShem Elokeichem, you are children of Hashem. What does that have to do with it? What does the fact that we're banim laShem have to do with banim, talmidim, Torah? What does it mean? What's going on in this Sifri? Says the Brisker Rav, beautiful. You know why we're banim laShem? Because Hashem teaches us Torah. That's why we're banim laShem. Hamelamed Torah le'amo Yisrael. Who teaches us Torah? Hashem. And because Hashem teaches us Torah, that's why we're banim atem laShem. You like it? Interesting. You knew this? Someone would say, Why are we banim laShem? Ki bachar banu... Hashem... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because that's why we're am. Maybe that's why we're the am Hashem. Why are we banim laShem? We're banim laShem because Hashem taught us Torah. And it says, V'shinantam levanecha. And when you teach someone Torah, you're banim. Brisker Rav, beautiful, beautiful. You hear? Big—who says this? Correct. So says Rashi, when it says in the pasuk, V'shinantam levanecha, it's referring to eilu hatalmidim. It's referring to the students. Black and white, you have to teach your children. But Rashi is not mefareshim. Sifri is not mefareshim. Sifri is the Gemara. Gemara is mefareshim? Could you show them the Rashi, eilu hatalmidim, so? V'shinantam levanecha, levanecha eilu hatalmidim. You hear? So we have here a big yesod, rabosai, big yesod, that the reason—we'll talk about that, we'll talk, we'll talk, we'll talk. So we have here a big yesod, that the reason why we're banim laShem is because Hashem teaches us Torah. Kushya, kushya. The Beis HaLevi we spoke about a few weeks ago says that when you learn and keep the Torah, you are—

Even if you don't keep the Torah, you're banim laShem. This is a Beis Halevi we spoke about a few weeks ago. Remember, we spoke of this Beis Halevi. So the question is, according to this Brisker Rav, it's not so meyushav, right? The way the Brisker Rav explains to me that why we call banim laShem, because Hashem teaches us Torah. Beis Halevi seems to learn that I'm banim laShem regardless. It has nothing to do with if I keep the Torah and the mitzvahs. A Jew never loses his status as banim laShem. He's always banim laShem. Am Hashem is only when he keeps the Torah mitzvot. Banim is even if he doesn't. This Brisker Rav seems to be saying that the reason why we're banim laShem is because we learn Hashem's Torah. Hashem teaches us Torah. How does Hashem teach us Torah? Hamelamed Torah l'amo Yisrael. There's a very interesting Gra. The Gra says, when are you considered rebbi talmid, like a child? Says the Gra, that's only when you learn mipi, from the mouth of the rebbi. Says the Brisker Rav, so what do we see from here? That when we learn Torah, Hashem teaches us not by just giving it to us many years ago, but hamelamed, that He's actually teaching it to us directly. Because if not for the fact that Hashem teaches directly, we wouldn't be banim. And if we're banim because Hashem teaches us Torah, so it has to be that what? Direct. Very interesting Gra. Okay. But what's it nogea? What's it nogea? What do Chazal want? What's so important to teachers that we're boning? What's it nogea l'maaseh? Ki'ilu yelado. I want to tell you an interesting chiddush. The Chochmas Shlomo paskens in Even HaEzer siman aleph that if a person does not have children, yet he teaches Torah to somebody, he's mekayem pru urvu. If somebody teaches Torah, yeah, אתה שומע מה שיש פה? Chochmas Shlomo, you mekayem the mitzvah of pru urvu. Says the Chochmas Shlomo because there's a machlokes whenever it says ki'ilu, whenever the Gemara says ki'ilu, do we mean ki'ilu literally, or do we mean ki'ilu as if? And since the Gemara says ki'ilu yelado, so according to the shita that learns ki'ilu means literally, we don't mean as if; we mean literally. So literally, you can mekayem pru urvu. Come sit down. I want to tell you chiddush nifla. Sit down. Chiddush nifla. Listen carefully, listen carefully. You are my son. You know that? If I say? I didn't say that; Chazal say that. Okay, let me talk to you now. I don't want you coming to ask me for child support. You're still my son, all right? How and why are you my son? I'll tell you how. Now, Chazal tell us clearly, Kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah, k'ilu yelado. There's another Gemara, k'ilu asa'o. There's another Gemara, v'shinantam levanecha, banecha eilu hatalmidim. So you're my son, yeah? What? Ah, so he spoke. What is the word k'ilu? There's a machlokes in the Acharonim, the Taz and the Drisha, machlokes. Whenever it says k'ilu, does it mean literally, or it means as if? So what's the nogea? Is it nogea that you could come to ask me now for child support? What's the nogea? What's halacha l'maaseh? What do we want? What's the nogea? You're my son, okay, you're my son. You know, the Arabs, the Arabs have bituim shel chibah. Doesn't mean anything, you know? Habibi, yedidi, and they can kill the guy anyway, one has nothing to do with the other, right? Eini, yeah, my eye, right? That's why they poke out everybody's eyes. The real Muslims poke each other's eyes out, you know, they poke their eyes out, you know. Sure, the real religious Muslims.

The hell are you supposed to poke eyes? They should look at, you know. You didn't know about it? You know the Arabs, the old Arabs, to poke their eyes out? Actually, their neighbors used to do it for them. When they got into a fight, they would, and say, religiously, they did it to themselves. The point being, the point being, what's it, bni, my son, my son. You know, the French are also very into between. Mon chéri. Everybody's mon chéri, you know that? What's mon chéri, you know? Mon trésor, mon chéri. Okay, what is that? They talk to their children that way. My treasure, my, my, my, my, my sweetheart, my darling. That's how they talk. Yeah, wonderful people. You really think they care? My father once told me that by a Frenchman, you could take his wife and his kids, but don't touch his dog. You know, that's how the family works. They have one dog. You know that they have one dog, one child, and three wives, right? So you're allowed to take the wife and the child, but don't touch the dog, because that's personal. You know what I mean? That's already touching his mishpacha, touching his mishpacha. So very good. What do I want? I want to ask you, is bni just a way of talking, bni, bni, or it's something nogea l'maaseh? So I'm telling you from the Chochmas Shlomo, that the Chochmas Shlomo says, Yekayem pirya v'rivya. If a person does not have children, he can be mekayem pirya v'rivya. A child, a student, all right? So, clearly, maybe if a person needs a boy and a girl for Peru Urevu, maybe you should have a student boy and a student girl from a Beis Yaakov together for Peru Urevu. I don't know. Does the Chachmas Shlomo mean that with two boys, I have two talmidim, maybe I need two talmidim, or even with one I'm mekayem Peru Urevu? Maybe it has to have the halachos of Peru Urevu, that you have to have one boy and one girl. So you need one talmid and one talmidah. I don't know. But this is an interesting Chachmas Shlomo. The halacha l'maaseh, you mekayem Peru Urevu with your students. Let me show you an interesting klal. Kol hamegadel yasom b'soch beiso, also, k'ilu yelado. It's also Gemara in Sanhedrin. The Rama in Choshen Mishpat, in siman samech beis, paskens, yeah, in siman samech beis he paskens that when you write a shtar, you write a document, if it says bni, my son this and my son that, even though it's not your son, but if you megadel him b'soch beiso, if he's a yasom that you brought into your house, you're allowed to write the word bni. You have a shtar, a document, a document about my son, right? Maybe it's a shtar lo tov because it's not your son. No, it's a good shtar. You know why? Because if you were megadel, in a story where you megadel yasom b'soch beiso, it's taka bni. That's how the Rama paskens, yeah. A very interesting Rama, that on your child that you brought up in your house, also has halachos. Is there a chiyuv kibud av va'em to an adopted father? So I want to tell you an interesting Gemara. You want an interesting Gemara? Come here. Don't run away. What? I also have to go. What's his name, Yisrael? Yisrael, I also have to go. What do you think, I don't have to go? Okay, I'm just gonna go ahead. Go, go, go, go. The Gemara in Sotah mem tes amud aleph says an interesting Gemara. Reb Acha was mitapel with bar Bratei. What does bar Bratei mean? Does anybody know? Translate. What is bar? Grandson. Grandson, right? Bar Bratei. Bar, the son; bratei, of his daughter. Gemara in Sotah. So what happened? Because he was a yatom. So Reb Acha was taking care of his grandson, the yatom. Says the Gemara that when he got older, Reb Acha asked him, Could you give me to drink? So you know what he told him? Are you kidding me? You're not my father. Why should I give you to drink? Says the Gemara, says the Gemara, what happened? The Gemara says that this is why people have a saying. You know what the saying is? Rabbi, Rabbi, you could bring me up. You could bring me up in your house, lav brata.

Not your son. Don't talk to me like I'm not your son. You want a drink of water? Go get it yourself. Can you bring the Gemara because they think I made it up. Saita! The last line before the Mishnah. Yeah, could you imagine? A guy comes and he brings up a yatom b'toch beiso. Unbelievable. The Gemara says, Ki'ilu yelado. Kol hamegadel yatom b'toch beiso, ki'ilu yelado. Yet, what happens? When he comes to ask, this person asks, and don't forget it's bar bratei, grandson, yeah? The son of his daughter, bar bratei. Go ahead, last line, go ahead, read it. You know what he tells him? Go jump in the lake. I don't know what you want from my life. I'm not your son. Why should I go do it? Yeah, it's Pentateuch, right before the Mishnah, the three lines before the Mishnah. Read it. Yeah, go ahead, Nu. It says, Rav Acha bar Yaakov itpalel bar bartei. Ki gadal, amar lei... Oh, he took care of bar bratei, yeah? He took care of him. He brought him up. And yet, what happened? Ki gadal, when he got older, what happened? Amar lei, ashkeini maya. Give me water. Give me kafeh, oleh. Give me some kafeh, yeah? So told him, amar lo, Lav brech ana. I'm not your son. I don't know what you're talking about. I should go get it yourself. Ah, that's what people say. Rabbi, Rabbi, you can get a guy, you bring him up, and everything, and one day, you know what he tells you? Sorry, I see you have a nice day. I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know who you are. Get ready, rabbosai. Your kids might do that to you one day. They might come and tell you, Who? What? What? What do you need? You need—I'm sorry, I'm busy. I have business to take care of. I'm sorry, I'm very busy. I can't have time for you. Might happen. So what do we see from over here? We see from over here a tremendous thing: kibud av va'em. What happened to—I thought ki'ilu yalado, I thought a yatom. If you bring him up in your house, it's ki'ilu yalado. What do we see? That it's not ki'ilu yalado. Yeah, you're not mechuyav in kibud av va'em. On a ben u'matz, it's a raya from this Gemara that there's no chiyuv kibud av va'em to the person who brought him up. Yet, yet, you know what? Bring the Artscroll. I'd like to see the mareh mekomos, what they bring on this. We'll bring it while I'm talking. Yet, I'll tell you—so what? Only Klalzman the parents are alive. You didn't know this? So what? Klalzman the parents are alive. Klalzman the parents are alive. It's a great question. I don't know. That's what the—it's an unbelievable Gemara, huh? You're mechuyav in the kavod of the parents, grandparents, as long as the parents are alive. Huh? Ha'saba rak Klalzman shehahorim chayim. Look it up. Look it up in Shulchan Aruch. It's good, it's good. You guys have to learn these things. Go ahead. L'maaseh, I want to tell you a story. A few months ago, I was by a levayah, ... they took it away. Okay, I was by a levayah, you hear, of a ben me'umatz. He went, a child that was adopted. He went, you hear, and he made kriyah with a bracha. The father, the son, the father, the stepson. And everybody was talking, It's not his father. There's no kriyah, blah, blah. I said, You didn't listen closely to his hesped. He spoke in his hesped a few times how his father taught him Torah. And I thought to myself, why does he keep on stressing that point? And you know what the answer was? Someone told him that, you know, when you're a son, you can teach him Torah. So, kol hamegadel yasom b'soch beiso, it's still not your son. That ki'ilu yelado, still.

If you teach him Torah, he's your son. But if you teach him Torah, he's your son. See here? Unbelievable, huh? That's a good question. I wasn't sure how to learn this Gemara, because according to this Gemara it comes out that the grandfather didn't teach Torah. I don't know. That's a great question. But one thing I can tell you: if he taught him Torah, he's his rebbi. Al tchiyuv kavod rebbi. Rebbi asks for a cup of water, you don't bring it to him? This is an interesting point. Now, what am I trying to get at? What do I want? Okay. There's an interesting Gemara. Yehoshmuel, who did not get married? You know, someone didn't get married, a big Tanna didn't get married, Ben Azzai. When they asked Ben Azzai, How yitachen, how yitachen, how yitachen you didn't get married? Na doresh v'na mekayem? You're supposed to keep what you preach. How could you preach the mitzvahs if you don't get married? You're supposed to get married. So he answered, Nafshi chashkah baTorah. My heart was so wanting for Torah. What? What do you have? Read it. Read it, dude. Okay. You know where it comes from, this Gemara? That's where it comes from. We learn from this Gemara that you're not mechuyav to mechabed your grandfather. But the question is, but the grandfather... From here, that's where it comes from. No kidding. Simple. That's where it comes. It comes in this Gemara, so I'm telling you. Okay. So the question is, yeah, the question is, nafshi chashka b'Torah. What does that mean? I thought there's a mitzvah. Can a person come and say, Nafshi chashka b'Torah, I don't have to keep mitzvot? Says the son of the Nodeh B'Yehuda in Sefer Avat Tzion, drush tet, b'shem the Noda B'Yehuda. Noda B'Yehuda. Says the Noda B'Yehuda, gevald, geshmak. He didn't have children. Pru urvu. Nafshi chashka baTorah, I have talmidim, and through the talmidim I'm mekayem the mitzvah of pru urvu. What do you say? Unbelievable. The Chazon Ish was saying, Nafshi chashka baTorah. What does he mean? I have to learn. That's right. That's right. He had millions of children. Satmar Rebbe had millions of children, hundreds of thousands of children. Yeah, all these tzaddikim. The Chazon Ish had thousands of children. You know, I once spoke about this. Sometimes big gedolim don't have children. You know why? Because the talmidim have to become their children. The talmidim, the students, their job, their job is to take care. Yes, you do. Use rice. Do you know that when Reb Henoch Leibowitz, all the talmidim, they... You hear? You listening? You listening? Okay. Now, let's go one step further. Is it possible, is it possible that the whole reason, the whole reason why Chazal teaches they're like children is only lahalacha? Is it nogea more than just the halacha? It's like your child; it's k'ilu you created him. What else could it be? Oh, what else could it be? I could tell you a few things. You know what else it could be? Chazal want to teach you that you have to love your students, maybe. Banim, eilu hatalmidim is to teach you that the talmidim have to be loved, loved by their rebbe, like as if it's their own child, maybe. You know, I said this in Lakewood this Shabbos, this point, everybody looked like I'm crazy. What? Rebbe, talmidim loves his children? What are you talking— They had no idea what I'm talking about. Yavesh, unbelievable. And they were looking at me, they were telling me, you know, maybe you... we can hear.

We hear it in you, they were telling me. We can hear it in you, but we have no idea what you're referring to. I go, what? You're supposed to love your... it says, no? V'shinantam l'vanecha, right? Talmidim is banim. You love your child, you love your student, no? I want to go one step further. You ready? The Steipler discusses if a person doesn't have children, good advice. You know what he should do? He should go and teach talmidim, and like this he's considered that he has children. Good. If someone has already children, so he's not mechuyav to go look for students to have children, right? You know, there's a rule that when a person has children, he should have more children. So maybe here too, if let's say a person has five children, he should go look for students to have another five, another ten, another twenty. Do you think that you're mechuyav to go to get more and more children, right? Take the Chassidish families, they believe the more children the better, right? So maybe if a person has five, six children, he should look to supplement the children with more talmidim. So there's an interesting Rabbeinu Chanan. Rabbeinu Chanan in Kovetz Shiurim says that you're not mechuyav to go search to make them banim. If you have talmidim, they're your banim, they're your children. This is a Rabbeinu Chanan in Kovetz Shiurim, where Rabbeinu Chanan says that you're not mechuyav, you're not mechuyav to go... Go look to get talmidim. Oh, kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah, ot ayin, that those that learn by you are considered children, but to go look for them, you're not mechuyav. Rabosai, I would like to disagree with this, and I'll explain to you what I mean. And then we'll understand maybe a little bit of Kabbalas HaTorah. A lot of things will become clear. Just pay attention to what I'm trying to bring out. Why is it that if you teach someone Torah, it's like you brought him up? Why? The Tur, the Tur in Even HaEzer says that you want to know what the point of peru urvu is? It's to have children shomrei Torah mitzvot u'v'lomdei Torah. Zara chaya v'kayama, zara d'lo yifsak mi-pitgamei oraita. That's what the point of having children. I want to go one step further and explain. You know, today we think that the reason why we're supposed to have children is because Hashem wants klal, Hashem wants a nation. Also, Hashem wants the world to have people, right? Lo tohu varaah lashevet yetzarah. Hashem wanted it for a purpose, for a reason. I don't believe that that's the reason for peru urvu. I'll tell you a big chidush. Hashem is not looking, like the Muslims think, that the more children, the more people for Allah. That's not what it's about. It's not about more people for Allah. That's not what it is. You know what it is? Hashem created man l'heitiv, to do good for him. Hashem created man to be meitiv with him. V'halachta bidrachav. Hashem wants that we should follow in His ways. So Hashem wants that we should create in order to help people also. Your son is a vehicle. It's a way of helping a person l'chayei olam netzach. L'chayei olam netzach. Again, let me explain to you what I mean. What is the point? What is the point, you hear? What does the Eibishter want? What does Hashem want by giving us Torah? I think the Brisker Rav hit it on the nekudah: Banim atem laShem. We're children of HaKadosh Baruch Hu. When you have a child, you want to help him. What is the one thing, as a father, do you think of? That he should enjoy the moment, or that he should have hatzlacha and prosperity in life.

Prosperity in life. Think about it. When you have a child, what's the one, the number one thing that you think about? That he should have the lollipop and enjoy that moment? No, because then you would just give him lollipops and jelly beans all day, right? You wouldn't. You take away the lollipop and the jelly bean, because what are you thinking about? You're thinking about his future, right? The Ribono Shel Olam thinks about our future. And you know what that is? The future that we should come to Olam Haba. And therefore He gave us a Torah. And that's why we're called Banim LaShem Elokeichem. Banim atem LaShem is affiliated with the learning of the Torah. Think about what I'm saying. I'm saying something very interesting. No, not that. Kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah, ke'ilu yelado. It's like you gave birth to him. The Rishonim tell us you can even be mekayem pru urvu with it. Why? And the answer is, you know what pru urvu is about? Pru urvu is about having children that you bring to this world to do chesed with them, to do help with them. The yesod of a father is to give to the child. The greatest giving you can give to the child is by giving him Torah and mitzvot. So therefore, kol hamelamed ben chaveiro Torah, it's the same thing. What you're doing is you're creating and you're being molid more people. You're giving them life. Like the Maharsha says. Called life, he's a beheima. You create. Pru u'rvu. Tell me, what is pru u'rvu in English? What was the right word in English? No, it's not. Pro-cree. What does the word procreate mean? Huh? You don't know? What? I can't hear. What's the translation of procreate? Having children, right? What is the root word of procreate? What does it mean? Creation. It has to do with create, right? No? So the word creation, child and creation is in the same shoresh. It's aso, you create. You give birth. A child that's not matzliach, so to speak. You failed him. I'll prove this to you. In siman tof kuf ayin daled, the Shulchan Aruch speaks that a person is not allowed to be with his wife b'shnas batzores, in years of hunger. So you know this. Even though there's a mitzvah of pru u'rvu, shnas batzores not. We learn this out from Yosef, right? U'terem tavo shnas hara'av. What happens if a person wasn't mekayem yet pru u'rvu? So the halacha is we tell him to even b'shnas batzores. No, no, we tell him to do it. Says the Mishnah Berurah, what happens if a person has children who are mechallei Shabbos? Says the Mishnah Berurah, nireh l'aniyas da'ati, he's called a chasuchei banim. It's as if he has no children, and therefore it's a first halacha, Mishnah Berurah, and you have to do more. What are you, tiny yetzer? I want you to take out the Mishnah Berurah to read it inside. Shulchan... siman taf kuf ayin daled, taf kuf ayin daled, se'if katan yud-bet. The halacha is, in a year of hunger, a year of hunger, you do not... first page, taf kuf ayin daled. Read it, read it, read it. Read the Shulchan Aruch, read the Mishnah Berurah. Taf kuf se'if katan yud-bet. So first read the halacha inside, read the mechaber. Okay, yud-bet, yud-bet. Daled. So mitzvah lehar'iv adam atzmo bishnat ra'avon. In a year of hunger, you're not supposed to be with your wife. Go ahead. Asur l'shamesh mitato chutz mileil tevilah. Except for leil tevilah, go ahead. Or if somebody doesn't have children, then it's mutar, okay? So because it's a mitzvah, peru u'revu, you're supposed to have children. Says the Mishnah Berurah.

It says, ve'im yesh lo banim mechalelei Shabbat, vekavanato rak kedei sheyolid banim k'sherim, mistabra d'dino kichashuchei banim. Are you listening to what it says? It's unusual. I'm going to tell you something about my father. I've told you before, and I'll tell it to you again. You all know my father. ... the white book, those. My brothers, kenaina harach, kenaina harach, gave my father a lot of tzaar gidul banim. He gave him a run for his money, you know. Baruch Hashem, they were hard. They were hard children. But you want the mareh makom? Taf kuf ayin daled, se'if katan yud daled, the Yabetz. One minute, one minute, you hear? Listen carefully, listen carefully. One of my brothers, who does kiruv rechokim today, he told me many times, many times, you know what kept him? What kept him was a letter that my father wrote. All the years when he was shovav, he didn't go too far, but why? There was one letter that my father wrote him which kept him in order. My father wrote to him once the following: I know deep down you resent me. For being on top of you, always forcing you to learn. And I know you didn't like it so much, but let me explain to you. Imagine a father who sees his son drowning. He yells and he screams, Help my son who's drowning! And even if he can't swim, or he's not a good swimmer, he'll jump in and try to grab him to save him, right? If you don't learn Torah, to me, you drown in the ocean. To me, that's considered drowning in the ocean. And as a father, I have to save you. This is what I grew up with, understanding what it means, a father caring for his child. To know that Torah is chayei netzach. You live with the Torah. Without the Torah, there's no life. And when you know that, so then you care about your child. You provide for your child. Kol hamelamed es ben chaveiro is the same thing. It's ki'ilu... When you care about somebody, you understand that what do you have to do for him is chayei netzach. What you're doing for him is forever and ever. I want to tell you something. We say ahavat olam, ahavtanu Hashem Elokeinu. What is the word ahavat olam? What does it mean? Translate the words ahavat olam, ahavtanu Hashem Elokeinu. Oh, oh, oh. So it could be olam means forever, never to change, right? Ve'ahavtich li le'olam, which means no matter what happens, no matter what happens, I'm going to love you, yeah? It could also mean... Ahavas Olam, which means an everlasting, you hear? It's not, I love you for the minute here to give you a present. Like I told you, a father who cares about his child, you know what he thinks? Long term, future. He thinks, how do I secure and how do I make my child prosperity long term? So, meila, what does it say? Ahavat olam, no? What? Continue. Al kein, no? Finish. You guys, you don't daven? No? Al kein, go ahead, read the whole thing. Ahavat olam... Hashem taught us Torah. You know what Hashem's teaching us Torah is about? It's ahavas olam. It's not a love for the moment. It's eternal. Hashem knows that for us eternally, you know what's good...

For us, Torah. Torah mitzvahs is good for us eternally. So Hashem's love for us, for eternal, is by teaching us Torah. That's the Banim Atem LaShem, and that's the limadetem. Hashem teaches us. Banim, eilu hatalmidim. It's the same thing. They're your children, yelado, ki'ilu asam, because you're giving them something eternal. You're doing for them something that no one else will do for them. Let's go one step further, rabosai. Why is it that Hashem went and He took the mountain and He put it on top of our heads, and He told us, Sham tehei kfuratchem? Tell me, is that a nice way of talking to somebody? Sham tehei kfuratchem. Yitzi, we spoke a little bit about this, but I want to show you an interesting point, an added point in this. The Eibishter told Klal Yisrael, Mi gilah zeh l'banai, right? Bni bechori Yisrael. When Klal Yisrael said naaseh v'nishma, Hashem said, You're my son. Tell me something: you know as another father that when he sees his son, he takes a mountain, puts it over his head, tells him, Son, tehei kfuratchem? You know such a father? He'd only say to his father, That's all he cares. Okay, מיד, I'm going to listen, naaseh v'nishma. The father said that, no? No! They said it first. First they came and said naaseh v'nishma, and Hashem said, Oh, really? Here's the mountain. Sham tehei kfuratchem. Also even asked Him for a question. And many of the Rishonim asked this for a question. Why would Hashem have to put the mountain over their head to force them if they said naaseh v'nishma? Taisis says that maybe they're going to come and then backtrack when they see the fire of Matan Torah. Okay. I want to tell you something else. Sham tehei kevuraschem reminds me of the letter that my father wrote to my brother. He wasn't forcing them, telling them, You're going to drop dead. That's not what he's telling them. He was informing them, Sham tehei kevuraschem. The metzius is that you have no life without it. Because you're beni bechori, because you're my son, I'm going to tell you the truth. I care about you. I want you to understand. Sham tehei kevuraschem. Tell me something. When you want to tell somebody you're going to kill them, isn't it the strongest word to say is sham tehei kevuraschem? It sounds like a, you know who talked like this? A mafia, a mafia guy. When he sends a fish in the mail, he uses such slogan, Sham tehei kevuraschem. You'll be in the Hudson River. That's the expression that they use, right? Soon you'll be swimming with the fishes, right? Sham tehei kevuraschem sounds right out of a, what do you call it, movie, from The Godfather, yeah? Never thought about that. Bothered me over Shabbos. That's how Hashem talks? Sounds like, like, like shvartza nigger language, mafia language. Now, now, you see, now you're... Sham tei Kraschem, you'll be swimming with the fishes. Let's go. I think there's a tremendous yesod. Adam, yesodei me'afar, v'sofo le'afar. From dust to dust. That's when you don't learn Torah, it's from dust to dust. Yeah? You come from the earth, you're back to the earth. All you are is a piece of adamah. You're adam from the adamah. When you don't mekabel Torah, sham tehei, for ashah, earth, adamah, you're back to nothing, dust to dust. He's saying a tremendous yesod. We don't mean death, killing. We don't mean the punishment. Nothing. It's burial for you. You buried yourself. You could walk around in this world, yeah, and you could be destined to go right back into the adamah. That's the whole life is, okay, passing by, but you're from dust to dust. He was teaching.

Sham tehei kevuraschem. When you're not mekabel the Torah, there's no future. You'll be buried and finished. It's over. It's over. What's further? What's past that? You know, when a child isn't matzliach in school, you know what the father tells him? What's going to become of you? You'll remain the same. You'll be the same nothing. Your father knows. Sounds familiar, right? What's going to be of you? You're going to remain. That's sham tehei kevuraschem. Sham tehei kevuraschem means there's no future. You'll be buried. You'll stay in the ground. It's over. It's nothing. Right? Sham tehei. You're burying yourself. It's an expression: you're burying yourself. That's what the point. Sham tehei kevuraschem. As a father, I'm going to tell you, this is the way to have chayei netzach. This is the way to have the future. I want to show you more. The Chofetz Chaim, yeah, speaks very strongly a lot about a topic called chesed ruchni. V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, zeh klal gadol baTorah. What does that mean? You ever thought about those words? V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. Here, Rabbi Yitzchak. V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, zeh klal gadol baTorah. What does it mean? Good. So what does it mean, though? Zeh klal gadol baTorah. What does it mean? Huh? Yeah, but what does baTorah mean? What do you mean, baTorah? Torah zeh horaah. Zeh horaah. אז זה אחד מהחוקים הכי גדולים של התורה. הרי תורה זה הוראה. למה אני קורא תורה הוראה? לשון הוראה. אז אם אני יודע שכלל זה חוק, ותורה היא לשון הוראה, אז אני יודע שזה כלל מאוד גדול בהוראות. כן, can you... What does it mean? BaTorah means the Torah, right? It's a big rule in the Torah. So the truth is, it has to do with Hillel, right? What did Hillel say, right? V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, this is the Torah. The rest is what? Okay. Who is Rabbi Akiva? Let's get clear. Who is Rabbi Akiva? Rabbi Akiva held chayecha kodmin, no? Isn't that Rabbi Akiva's shita? When two people walk in, and there's only one to drink, who drinks? Chayecha kodmin. Okay. And it's the same Rabbi Akiva that paskens, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha is that klal gadol baTorah, right? V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha is a stira, it's a contradiction to chayecha kodmin, no? Again, how can it be, right? Okay. There's a ma'amar of the Chasam Sofer in last week's parsha. Chasam Sofer says chayecha kodmin is only on inyanei gashmi, but on inyanei ruchniyus, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. Your friend comes first. Again, v'ahavta l'reacha kamocha is in inyanei ruchni. V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha. In inyanei gashmiyut, it's chayecha kodmin. I'll show you something. Let's read the words now. You need proof? You need more something? V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, ze klal gadol baTorah, says the Chofetz Chaim. It comes to Torah. Ze klal gadol. No, when you have one cup of water, you drink it. One book, you give him the book and you drink the water. Says the Chasam Sofer, a person wants to learn, and he says to himself, If I learn, I don't have time to teach others. My learning comes first, maybe. Says the Chasam Sofer, no, it's not. His learning comes first. Or it's just as important as your learning. V'ahavta l'reacha kamocha, and therefore you stop your learning and you teach the other person. Rabosai, the truth...

Argues with this. Moshe is in the Chasam Sofer's book, that chayacha kodmin is even in Talmud Torah also. Chayacha is kodmin. You know, there's a very famous Mishnah: Im lamadta Torah harbeh, al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha she'ilkach notzarta. What does it mean, al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha? So some Rishonim learn—this is how the Nefesh HaChaim learns, and that's how the Gra learns—that don't think, Oh, I did good. You know, I learned enough. Al tachzik tovah—yeah, yeah, pat yourself on the back, I did enough. Keep on learning, ki likach notzarta, to learn more and more. The Medrash Shmuel brings a different pshat. He says, al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha—give it to others. Don't keep it all the good for yourself. Well, you want only Torah for yourself? Teach others also. So some can make a diyuk and say, Im lamadta Torah harbeh, I learned a lot. If I didn't learn a lot, then I'm mechuyav to what? To sit and learn. Never enough. Never enough. Okay, so I'm going to have someone read that the Chofetz Chaim, zechuto yagen aleinu, writes clearly that if a person only knows Chumash, he's mechuyav to go out and teach people Chumash. If a person only knows Mishnayot, he's mechuyav to go and teach people Mishnayot. And no, he says, even if you know very little. We're going—who's going to read? Nu, who? Mik mi. Tikra, tikra, come here. Here. Okay. כל אחד ואחד שיש רק, נו? רק מעט, מעט אור תורה בתוכו. כל אחד, לפי מה שהוא, ישתדל לעשות בזה כפי כוחו. אם יודע מקרא, יעשה חבורה וילמד לאחרים מקרא. Tommy, you teach, you teach shiurim? You give shiurim? Why not? You know Gemara, you know. No, no. Okay, okay, okay. If it doesn't come out on the first try, then leave it alone. מה נשכח, מה נשכח. What do you say? What do you say? ... here? על כן כל אחד. Now, the only thing is, if you read the whole story over here in the Chafetz Chaim, it's et la'asot LaShem. And he says that maybe in a war, he talks about a war, maybe the story is only because in those times it was weak. But today, that they have other methods to learn, and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. This is the Chafetz Chaim in Ma'amar et la'asot LaShem. Ma'amar et la'asot LaShem. Okay. What am I trying to get at? What am I trying to get at? A person has no idea how much chesed he's doing with the other person by helping him learn even one word of Torah. One word of Torah. One word. The chesed, the tremendous zchut that you have, that you help another person. Hashem was teaching Klal Yisrael that the yesod of Kabbalas HaTorah is to give. It's to care. To be meitiv. Why am I giving you Torah? Because I want to be meitiv for you, l'olam me'id l'netzach nitzachim. I want to tell you something interesting. I want to tell you something interesting. My grandfather did a lot, a lot of favors for people. A lot of favors. Really, did a lot of favors for people. Yet at the same time, over the years, people forgot. People forgot all the favors that he did. People forgot. Yeah, did a lot of favors for people. Yeah, did a lot of favors for people. Yet over the years, people forgot.

If you teach someone Torah, he never forgets. He never forgets the favor. People always talk, My rebbe, I learned from him this. You know why? It's because of this yesod. It's ruchni, it's a different type of chesed. It stays forever. It's something that you did him a favor. It's 100% true. You know, people could have done you favors, after a year you forget. People who taught you Torah, you don't forget. The Gemara says, Avedas aviv, avedas rabbo, avedas rabbo is kodem, shezeh mevi'o l'chayei olam hazeh, v'zeh mevi'o l'chayei olam haba. But who did more work? Who does more work? Who stood up all the nights? Who did all the difficult work? Father, mother. Yet, what happens? We say that the rebbe comes first. Why does the rebbe come first? Shezeh mevi'o l'chayei olam haba. This is what we have to learn. All the chasadim, it's all good. Interacting and helping another person in ruchniyut is a million times bigger chesed, a million times bigger chesed. This, rabosai, is the lesson of ki im l'yir'ah. Chazal are teaching us something. Chazal don't want so much just to tell you halacha that he has in halacha v'san. You know why he has halacha v'san? Because you gave him life. I think we have to understand what it means Torah and yiras Shamayim. I don't think we hear it that well. We think it's a ma'alah that a person has Torah and yiras Shamayim. It's a good thing. It's more than that. It's the life itself. I'm going to repeat over a vort that I heard from my grandfather, from the Chofetz Chaim, and this will shed light on the whole. It says in the pasuk, Ki lo davar reik hu mikem, ki hi chayeichem v'orech yameichem. Ki hadavar hazeh... What does it mean, ki lo davar reik hu mikem? What does it mean? It's not empty, right? What? The Torah. Talking about the Torah. Ki hi chayeichem. You think Torah is empty? Hashem has to teach you that the Torah is not empty? What's the hava amina? Hashem—every Jew knows Torah, Torah, unbelievable. Hashem has to come and say, Ki lo davar reik hu mikem? My grandfather said, oh, b'shem the Chofetz Chaim, something beautiful. You know, when a person can't sing, so what do we say? He lacks the ma'alah. He lacks the talent of being able to sing. Imagine a person's dead. What are you going to say about him? He can't sing? Can't do anything. He's gone, right? Ki lo davar reik. Not learning is not pshat it's like a davar reik, that you're missing something. You lack a talent. You don't have this ma'alah. Ki hi chayeichem. You're not חיים. Huh? ... You're saying an unbelievable thing. By not learning—no, there's no life. What is the life if it's not this? This is... The sod of understanding what it means, Torah. When you understand Torah, that's what the Mishnah means: Al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha. You have something good. You know what's good about it? Imagine, I'll give you an example. Imagine a person has a special medicine, a special medicine that could heal all the cholim in the world. So what was he going to keep it in his pocket? No one's allowed to touch, no one's allowed to have it. But you realize how many people you could save and how many people you can give life to. Of course you... that's what the Mishnah means. Im lamadta Torah harbeh, al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha. Do you understand what it means to teach another person Torah, to help him daven, to help him creating a person? Al tachzik tovah l'atzmecha. Hashem is telling us, life is rough. Let me tell you something. Nobody has it easy. Nobody has it easy, and it's not an easy thing to have a life of Torah. You think it's easy? No. You look around, you say to yourself, look at these Bucharian guys, right? They come, they're smoking, and they have the cars, and they run, and they have a good time. Sunday, you come, you go. Here, and I'm sitting here Sunday morning in the shiur, and the...

You don't say it. Obviously, three quarters of the Bucharim do say it. They're not here, nobody said. No, see, where are they? They're having a good time, you know. Listen, I don't blame them. I don't blame them. They never tasted the Ohr HaTorah. If they tasted the Ohr HaTorah, they wouldn't be doing this. So you'd say to yourself, It's difficult. Yeah, you're right, it's difficult. But the nekudah is, Chayei נצח. School is also difficult. Working for parnassah is also difficult. But what? You know that at the end of the day, there's going to be life. There's going to be something from it. There's a tachlis, right? Torah is the same thing. It's ahavas olam. It's not ahavah of this world, Hashem. It's not giving you a lollipop when you cry. You're not going to get lollipops. What are you going to get is ahavas olam. It's for Chayei נצח. And because He's our Father, He talks to us something for us. He's having a very honest discussion with us. Very, very frank discussion. Very frank discussion. I once was at a sheva brachos. Someone said a beautiful vort, which left me a tremendous roshem. You know, Klal Yisrael's history is such that it's very painful, the things that happen to Klal Yisrael. Throughout the history, b'chol dor vador omdim aleinu... It's really painful history, right? So he asked the question, How could it be that Klal Yisrael suffers so much? How could it be that... Hashem loves Klal Yisrael. Why does He make them suffer so much? Truthfully, there's a Gemara. The Gemara says, Ashreichem Yisrael, praises you, Klal Yisrael, k'sha'atem olim, when you go up, no nation goes up as much as you. When you fall, no nation falls as much as you. So, Ashreichem Yisrael, when you go up. But what's the second Ashreichem? Remember the pshat I told you? No. Good question, right? What's Ashreichem Yisrael k'sha'atem noflim? Ein umah nofeles. Nobody falls like you. So he got up and he said a pshat like this. A friend of mine had said a simcha, which is a beautiful vort. He said over from the Klausenberger Rebbe. It says, if you notice, nations, Switzerland, they don't have such big events in their history that they try to make soap out of them. It's a crazy story. If you think about, in the history of humanity, the Jews went through torture which no other nation ever went through. It's like a... What's the answer? What's the answer? The answer is very simple. He says, if you have a child in shul that doesn't behave, doesn't behave, so the father goes and whacks the child, gives him a patch across the face. So you know what the child tells the father? I don't understand. Why did you hit me? That kid over there did the same thing, so why do I get hit and him not? So you know what the father says? He's not my child. What do you want from me? It's not the kid. I mean, what he does, right? Same thing here too. Hashem, banim atem laHashem. We are His children. And we have Chayei Netzach ahead of us. So he has to mechanech us. We have a lot of chinuch, a lot of preparation that's necessary. So what are you going to say? How come that kid didn't get hit, and me, I got hit? That's hashgachah Yisrael. Hashgachah Yisrael, k'shatim oylim. You know, when a child does good, how come he doesn't say, Ta, why do you give me good? How come you didn't give that guy? What's the hava amina, right? So the same way, the hashgachah Yisrael, because k'shatim oylim you get very good because you're the child, hashgachah Yisrael, k'shatim noiflim you get patch also because you're the child. Hashem is not going to hit the other kid if he's not His kid. He doesn't care. There's no future ahead of that. Hashem cares about them. They're not destined for anything. This is ahavas olam. This is the ahavas olam. You have to remember, the love is eternal. Now I'm going to tell you a final last thing. I don't know if I said it over recently, but if I didn't say it recently, it's kedai to know this. My shadchan was Rabbi Yaakov Tolidano. Rabbi Yaakov Tolidano was Rosh Yeshiva in France. He was a—

Charismatic person, very atzilut, very charismatic. He got a disease at the end of his life, Lou Gehrig's disease, which means that his eivarim, everything conked out. He couldn't function. I went to him, and I sat there, and I saw a person that was disintegrating, pashut disintegrating. I began to cry, because I remember the way he was in his prime. So he looks at me and he goes, ‘What are you crying?’ I tell him, ‘It's hard for me to see you like this. Hard for me to see you like this.’ So I tell him, ‘It's hard for me to see you like this.’ So he says to me, ‘Why?’ I said, ‘What do you mean, why? I feel...’ I told you למה. I said, ‘What do you mean, why?’ He says to me, ‘His sister was not religious. In Morocco, there was like a haskalah. The boys who left Morocco remained religious, and the girls who stayed on with the parents in Morocco, they all went off. So his sisters went off. You talk about the famous Toldos, the one that wrote the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch? His daughter. This is his son and his daughter. So his sister came to visit him, he tells me, and his sister asks him, ‘Zu Torah v'zu scharah?’ You see? You were religious, spent your life, you spent your life trying to, and look what you have from it. So he says, ‘I answered her.’ I answered. How did I answer? I answered it by telling her, I don't know if you'll even understand what I'm talking about, but I'm going to tell you the truth. And that is, I can't begin to thank Hashem for giving me this disease. I looked, I couldn't understand what he was telling me. He says, you know, I realized through my disease how much Hashem loves me. And when a person realizes the love of Hashem, tremendous simcha, tremendous happiness. So there's nothing that makes me sad, and therefore you also shouldn't be sad. He says, through my disease I realized that Hashem loves me. Hashem loves me. Therefore, if Hashem loves me, so I'm happy. And if I'm happy, there's no reason why you should be upset. I never understood. I walked away not understanding the answer to it. What was he telling me? What was he teaching me? And you know what I realized? I realized over the years that he was teaching something to me. That is, et asher Hashem ohev hu yochiach. He realized that Hashem was preparing him for something. It was a time of preparation, which means he took his yisurim and he was growing from it. You know when you feel that Hashem loves you? As you begin to grow. When a person grows. I didn't give you what I just said. I want you to pay close attention to what I'm telling you. When a person grows, he's not remaining, you know, breakfast, lunch, supper, television, אחרי... ממש, ממש, העולם הזה נוגע. He's growing. You feel very close to the Ribbono Shel Olam. I'm going to teach you something. You ready? Listen carefully. When you were chozer b'tshuva, the original steps, did you feel close to Hashem? What changed? You slowed down. The pace of growth slowed. It slowed down. No, no, it slowed down. It's there, but it's slower now, okay? So the ahavas Hashem you feel, growth. The time of yissurim is a time of growth. You grow. As a person grows, he feels the panim el panim Hashem. Shinantam levanecha. Banim are talmidim. Why are we banim laHashem?

Hashem features us Torah. You only, you only feel the banim from the Torah. You're not going to feel the banim from what Hashem gives you. A person says, Hashem, if I'm your son, that's prizes. That's for children. It's a different, it's a different hergesh, a different feeling of ahav. You know when you feel the ahav? When you feel that the ahav is there with you, and where is Hashem with you? In your growth. That's the only place where Hashem is with you. Again, I'm going to say something, I'm telling you, I'm saying something, I know it's—it's more than where you—it's why is it always there, but we don't feel it? You don't feel it. But when you're in growth mode, there was a change. When a person grows, a person is growing, a person is moving to the direction of Chayei Netzach. He's moving in that direction. He's growing towards the nitzchiyus of Olam Haba. It's in that growth that a person feels Banim atem laShem. Now, you're going to hear what I just said. I'm teaching you something very interesting. I want you to pay close attention. It took me years and years to analyze the hergesh. What is it that a person had a good first seder, he's learning good, or he had a good tefillah, he feels close to Hashem? And the answer is because as he is osek in Chayei Netzach, in his eternal— This is where HaKadosh Baruch Hu is involved in his life. So it depends on the person, it depends on Hashem's involvement. It depends on the person. As the person grows, the person grows. You know what's happening? What's happening is... Say it good, say it good, say it again. הוא מתקדם להשם. ושמה, ושמה מרגישים את... The yesurim makes that a person grows. Yesurim makes a person grow. Let me repeat myself, and I want you to pay close attention. A person lives here. His neshama, his essence, who he really is, is going up and up, okay? He's growing. That growth is not here. That's the Chayei Netzach. Let me ask you a different question. You ready? When a person finishes school, all right? A person finishes school, graduates, what is he thinking about? Huh? What did you say? The next step. But I'm saying as far as parents. When a person graduates, what is he thinking about? When a person gets married, in the Gashmius, I'm just saying, in the gashmius, huh? What did just—who just said? People call their parents. You ever notice this? When a person finishes school, a person gets married, you call your parents. What are you calling your parents about? No. No. You'd be proud of what you accomplished, no? Because they accomplished what you—say it better. Not proud. That's not even about proud. You start to realize that this was what they worked for. That's what they wanted, which means what I have today, this is real accomplishment. That accomplishment is them. Okay. The banim atem laShem. When a person feels, he feels it when he accomplishes, when he moves.

In ruchnius, when he goes up, that's when you feel the banim atem laHashem. Hashem is there for you. Hashem created you. Hashem gave you this moment that you grow, that you became who you became. That's where you feel Hashem. Again, let me repeat this one more. When a person accomplishes, it's not drinking or eating. Drinking and eating, you do. Accomplishment, you know, is actually from the roots. It's from something from before that was instilled, that was nourished. You know when you see that there's banim atem laHashem? When you see the growth, when you feel the growth. You see it wasn't just, I did something which was meaningless. Hashem is there at the growth of the person. The accomplishment of aliyah ruchni shows me that Hashem is there. I don't think the oilam understands what I'm saying. You go up. You understand. Okay, so let me just say it one more time. Let me find the right words for it. It's not even siyata dishmaya. That's not what I'm looking for. No. What did you just say? Repeat what you just said. A gashmius thing is you'll call the person who gave you gashmius. So what's the nekudah? Because you see, because you see in your hatzlacha that your father put work into it. Almost. No, no, it's that he gave you the chinuch. He invested in you. He created you. He made you. He stood up at night for you, and he made you the person you are. So when you have the hatzlacha, you say, Oh, I must be a ben of somebody, and that somebody invested in me. In ruchniyus also, you'll feel, aliyah ruchni comes from somewhere. How did I become this? You see that the Ribono Shel Olam invested in me like a son. In the Torah, in the growth of Torah, in the growth of kiyum hamitzvos, that's when you realize Banim atem... That's where you feel the closeness to HaKadosh Baruch Hu. What? Only through? I'm asking from where it comes. That's not the point. The point is, the point is Chazal are teaching us a tremendous thing. It's not just, I did for the guy, and therefore he's my son. Banim is talmidim, because you create the whole person, and that's when you feel banim. In HaKadosh Baruch Hu, it's the same way. How do you feel banim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu? In the growth of the ruchniyus of a person, in the learning, in the growth, then you can... It's like miya Hashem. You feel Hashem at the avodah. That's right. You feel the Father there in your hatzlachah, and only through that do you feel the banim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. What am I trying to get at? Shavuos is about banim, which we spoke, Yitzi, we wrote about this. The way to feel banim is not by saying, Oh, Hashem, You ... that's how You love me. Hashem, You love me, I'm Your son, that's how You treat Your son. And the answer is, it's not true. From that, from the growth, a person feels banim, HaKadosh Baruch Hu. You know, I was thinking to myself, you know, a child gets angry at his father for being very strict on him. Later on in life, what do you appreciate in your father?

Huh? Being strict. Because you know it's good for him. It's unbelievable. You know which parents you don't like? The parent that didn't—couldn't care less. He didn't care. It's an interesting art. A parent who came and said, Do what you want, have a nice day. You're right, in the beginning you like him. At the end you'll say, You know something? You didn't care for me to put me on the right way and to set me up in life and to be there to teach me. Banim atem laShem is the kifiyah. Hashem taught us and cared for us and gave us the sham teik for us. That's where the banim, that's where the idea of banim. Who? Ma what? No. Lo titgodedu. All right, all right. But this is what I'm trying to bring out. You want to feel banim? It's not from having a good time. It's not from enjoying life. You won't feel the banim atem laShem. You'll feel the banim atem laShem when you have a difficult life and kiyum haTorah u'mitzvos. I know you're looking at me. Is it true? You'd rather have the banim atem laShem where it's easy. Yeah? What do you think? Huh? I don't believe there's such a thing in life. It's all difficult. Nothing's easy. You look at the other guy thinking it's easy. You don't know what's going through his head. You don't know the nisyonot that he has. You want to know something? It's very possible that if things are going easy, you better check out what you're doing, because you might not be growing enough. Someone asked me, Pas b'melach tochal, mayim b'mesurah tishteh, v'al ha'aretz tishan, v'chayei tzaar tichyeh, uvaTorah atah amel. Yeah? Kach hi darkah shel Torah. Should a person look for that situation? Should a person go and say, You know what? I'm going to look for that situation. Sleep on the floor, nothing. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe the olden days, Gedolei Yisrael used to do this, maybe. You know what I think? It's a metaphor for everything in life. Pas b'melach tochal, mayim b'mesurah tishteh. Everything in life has its difficulties. It might not be sleeping on the floor, but it could be other things. People have it hard. It's not easy to be a Yid. It's not easy. Not easy at all. You're giving up a lot. You give up a lot. But don't think you're not happy because of it. Don't think you're not happy because of it. The people who have everything, not necessarily the happy people. This is the nekudah of banim. A person sees and understands the banim only through Torah and mitzvos. You feel it. And the more you give up in life, the baal teshuvah gave up a lot, threw away everything just to get to this. At that moment, he felt unbelievable banim Hashem. The what? You're right, because that's a person; he's up and down. But the point is, you have to know what it is that causes the banim atu Hashem. The feeling of banim Hashem you won't feel when it's not that way. As you grow, and growth is difficult, that's when you feel, and only then you feel the banim atu Hashem. That's the only time you feel the banim atu Hashem. Don't think that it'll be easy and you'll feel, Oh, Hashem loves me. You're not going to feel it. It's when it's hard and it's difficult, and you reach the next level, you reach the next step, you feel banim atu Hashem, which is contradictory. It's a stirah, right? You should come and say, I should feel the banim atu Hashem when everything's going easy. It's not that way. It's just not true. It's just not true. And that's because of this nekudah: chayei נצח. It's about long term. It's about prosperity in life, not good times. That's when you feel the banim atu Hashem. You say, Oh, it's all because there's someone with me, there's someone who gave me, there's someone there with me. That's Hashem.

That's where the ... So this, Rabosai, is what I want to give you all for Shavuos. Kabbalas haTorah is kabbalas ol, ol haTorah. Accepting a yoke. Accepting a yoke. It's not easy, but it's banim atem Hashem. It's bnei, it's about son. The greatest feeling is to feel like a son, right? You'll feel it if you accept the yoke, the yoke. Not easy, yoke. That's when you feel the banim atem Hashem. Rabosai, I wish you all a wonderful Shavuos. Hatzlacha. This is, yeah. Oh, that's a great question. That's the question. That's the question by, like the same thing by pru urvu. All the shailos of pru urvu. If you have your children, if your children die and your grandchildren are alive. No, the same thing was by regular, by regular pru urvu. If your children die, chas v'shalom some of his children die, but he still has grandchildren. He's mekayem pru urvu, right? So same question: if a king's mechalel Shabbos, but his grandchildren are not mechalel Shabbos, maybe he'll be yotzei pru urvu. Same, could be ... chas v'chalilah. That's not called chas v'chibah. Have a wonderful Shavuos. Halacha l'maaseh, Reb Moshe paskens, Reb Moshe paskens there's a chiyuv maaser. Maaser, maaser. You machlokes, Reb Moshe holds chayeiv. Maaser is... you have to give a tenth. A tenth of your time, says Remoisha, like maaser. The time that you learn, the time that you have, you should give a tenth of that. Twenty minutes to give to the other person. If you can do extra, you can do extra because you have more time. But if you can't, whatever time you have, and that's real, from that you should take off maaser and give to other people time to learn with them. That's how Remoisha paskens. Maybe you'll finish, Remoisha. Once asked somebody, is there a halacha of maaser bishvil shetis'asher, that you should get rich because of it? Just like by maaser, ... says, the drashas, that if a person learns Torah, his ikar hatzlacha comes from the talmid. So ... says, maaser bishvil shetis'asher. The talmidim should be ... maaser bishvil shetis'asher. And maybe if you give the maaser to teach the talmidim, so then you'll get extra. Okay, rabosai, be well. That loss that we mentally, humanly think of as loss is the gain. Meaning that if I don't—if I don't have lunch, but I spend time with my son, it's not a loss that I don't have lunch. No, it's a gain. I bet that's something, because we humanly think like that, so we think it's a loss. I was thinking of another thing also the other way around. What happens if a person... Doesn't learn with your children. Shabbos, actually, it's Shabbos. ... Something else. Let's say you don't learn with your children. You don't learn with your children. Do you lose the love of the children? That's what I thought. That's the shiur I started. How does it work out the other way around? If let's say you hear, Daddy, Daddy, ... If you don't learn with your kids, and you're not ... I don't think they love. I said this in Lakewood, and the oilam started yelling at me, and I don't think it's true. Let's say you don't learn with your kids. You don't bring them up in Judaism. They're not going to love. At the end of their life, they put you in a nursing home. Yeah, I'm not saying there are good people in the world, but the bederech klal, my question is, how can you find that people, Jewish people, in the good homes...

The appreciation that they... My grandfather once said a mighty thing. My grandfather once said, How come in America we have old age home, and in Europe there was no such thing as an old age home? My grandfather said like this: In Europe, a child knew his father did everything for him. So when it turned around, then you would do for your father. In America, a child is born, the first thing is you send him to a nanny. Gets a little bit older, you babysitter. Gets a little bit older, you send him to camp. Gets a little older, you send him to sleepaway, to college. So when you need, he also sends you away. What's this? You send him to a nanny, into an old age home, into a nurse. The lumpness is the same lumpness. But you mashgiach, then the children turn around and appreciate. Yeah, but now our generation—what's in my generation? I'm 62. We're born in '62. We still take care of our parents, and hopefully our kids, which were born here, they see what we do with our grandparents. So that's what we hope. Maybe, we hope, we hope, but that's the point. But if, let's say, you come, you give the kid everything he wants—you know, all these modern homes, what do they do? They buy the kid whatever he wants, every toy he wants. When he gets older, you know what they do? They send him to an old age home. That's this part, this part—banim. You don't have banim. You don't see the banim atem Hashem by letting you... Father has tremendous mesirus. My father was tremendous mesirus all his life. He was always there, ruchnius, he would give up the whole... No, but there was some of his personalities. My very smart, my brothers are smart, tremendous personalities. So they, in yeshiva, there was... this and that. They're all from, yeah, but... tremendous work, tremendous work. But your father is happy that he won, like, you know, he shows the... a lot of work. They gave him a hard time, but... tremendous work. איך לפי השיעור של היום, איך תסביר את הפסוק לא תיקרא את יעקב, ויגעת בישראל? מה יהיה עם הפסוק הזה? What is it? ... הרבה דור שני אומרים, לא תיקרא את יעקב. If somebody works hard, it means that you're not really doing... If you're not working hard. If you are working hard, if you are tired of learning and tired of learning is a tremendous tiredness you have that you can't... Wait, the Gemara says... ...but if you don't... I realize, as I get old, I can't even think straight. My mind wanders from... a lot of, a lot of, you know, work. It's hard work. So you need a rest. I don't know what. I'm just saying, you think what, it's easy to get tamoch balev, it's very hard. But that's why by the summertime they go. No way, you have to go. I'm just saying that. You think Torah is not... Chazon Ish couldn't. He would learn till, till... he would learn till... Yeah. Rav Moshe brings that as his proof, that you see that it's chayecha kodmin in Torah. Also, that's his proof. It's proof against the Chasam Sofer, the Machlokes, in Kiddushin. You see that your learning comes before your son, so you see chayecha kodmin. That's Rav Moshe's proof. That's how Rav Moshe starts his teshuva. It's a big topic. Rav Moshe argues with...

Just give it to Rabbi. ... Today first. ... Also they still have ... No one to say what, are they open? They're finished already, that's what I'm asking. Yeah, ... here. We're doing Rishon Zayin. Why Rishon Zayin? Rishon ... We got to continue. Why should we continue? It's also Chazarah, what is it? No, here he goes: Rishon Zayin, Rishon Chet is ... Rishon Zayin, Rishon Chet is ... and this is Rishon Chet. Take the ... take ... I'm very tired. So we're just ... That's a very good question. Those yesurim, the reason they're having, Hashem wants to help him, correct him, then you feel Hashem. But if it's just an onesh, meaning, and he's not chozer b'teshuvah, and Hashem punishes him, ... feeling of Hashem is in the growth, the growth, meaning yesurim that make a person grow. Yesurim that are just there as a punishment ... But the reason, the point is, the point of the yesurim is growth. ... Everybody has this question, it's Gemara: Ein adam she'ein lo yisurim. The question is what the issur... If the issur for tikun to be... punishment. Regular people don't have... The growth that you grow from. That's your issur shelah. You don't grow, that's your issur shelah. ... Okay, good. ... But they'll see ... for child. ... The guru doesn't exist, right? To give the Torah education. It should be. I mean, technically that's the mitzvah. The mitzvah is to either learn or hire somebody. Is it also called yoreh? ... Who is actually giving...