Vayetzei: Yaakov’s Stone, Hakaras Hatov, and Never Forgetting Where We Began

Transcript

After Yaakov Avinu gets up from his chalom, so he davens to the Eibishter, he makes a neder, and then he makes a promise. V'shavti b'shalom el beis avi, I'll return, v'hayah Hashem li lElokim. Mitz Hashem on Shabbos I think we'll talk more about brachos, and if not, it won't be li lElokim. If Hashem gives him what he asks, then it'll be v'hayah Hashem li lElokim, and if not, not. The next pasuk is perplexing: V'even hazos asher samti matzeivah, yihyeh beis Elokim. So bishleima if he means the place, which is pretty much what Rashi is saying, that this place becomes Beis Elokim, okay, I understand. What is v'even hazos mean? He should say, the place of this place. What does it have to do with the even? Why is he tying Beis Elokim to the even itself? It's interesting that this even, according to many midrashim, is the even shetiyah, the rock that is in the middle of the Beis Hamikdash, and from there the whole world was created. It's the even shetiyah. So the question is, what's so special about this rock? I mean, what is it? It's a simple rock, no? He took rocks and he put it together, and then they turned into one. So v'even hazos, this rock will be Beis Elokim. What's the rock already? It's just a rock. And this is the Even Shesiyah. What is it? So you could come and say it's a miraculous rock. They turned into one, right? Originally it was parts, fragments. This medrash doesn't go together with the medrash that it created the world from the Even Shesiyah, because you see it's different midrashim. Okay, this is not for five-minute mussar after davening. The point being, you see that he makes an issue out of this stone. This even hazos, this stone, yehei beis Elokim. What's so special about this stone? I once told the vart to Reb Asher Yaeli. Told me it's a very nice vort. I want to share it with you. The Rambam says clearly, the Rambam says clearly, you know, and just maybe let's build up the question a little bit more. It seems like he's tying it to the veshavti b'shalom el beis avi, you give me what I want, v'hayah Hashem li lElokim. And then, v'even hazos... I mean, it's either way that this will be the beis Elokim. But what does that mean? Only if Hashem gives him lechem le'echol u'veged lilbosh, then, v'hayah Hashem li lElokim, v'even hazos... beis Elokim. And if not, not. So I told him a gevaldige vort, and he liked it, and I think I could share it with you. The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim writes that one of the weaknesses of a human being is vayishman Yeshurun vayivat, that the moment he's yishman, the moment he has, shtiklach ravchus, he has a better situation, he right away kicks and he forgets the situation that he had before. If you notice, the parshah of Hakaras HaTov is Bikurim. What do we say? Arami oved avi, vayered Mitzrayma. You have to go back in history, all the way, all the way in history, Arami oved avi. So the meforshim explain that when you realize what you started with, you realize what the beginnings were and how bleak it was in the beginning, then when you have, it becomes hakaras hatov much, much greater. Okay. Yaakov Avinu, the Medrash says he put stones under his neck. Tell me, when a person wants to sleep, what is the first thing he puts under his head? And I enjoyed this Medrash so much, because you know what the Medrash is? It talks to us in a certain way. What is the first thing you put on your neck? Something soft. You put your knapsack. You take your jacket off, huh? Says the Medrash, Yaakov had nothing. He had to take stones to put under his neck. Elifaz took the jacket off his back. He came with literally, literally, literally nothing. He had maybe just a... maybe gotkes, okay? I don't know if he had a pair of pants even, all right? Says the Medrash, so he had to take stones and put it together, yeah.

I believe Yankev Avinu is a meredike nekudah here. When he finally comes back and he has, V'nosan li Hashem lechem le'echol u'veged lilbosh, so even hazos turns to the rock, and he realizes that this was the rock that he started with. He had nothing. Even hazos asher... it was a reminder of what the beginnings were. The Rambam says that one of the weaknesses of a human being is, Vayishman Yeshurun vayivat. It's Rambam. And he explains that Rambam ... that way. Rambam, you know, you realize with what you started. A person becomes complacent in life. It's a tremendous thing, you know. Before you get married, ah, you don't have a home, you know, you're going from house to house, eating meals by people, and then you need a car, you have to ask your father to give you the car, and you need a little bit of money, you got to beg. You get married. So the first, I don't know if you notice, the first week you feel good. The first few weeks, the first month. Then you become complacent, right? It's normal. You want more, you want more, you want more. So always look back and realize every matzav, when it started, how did you feel when it started? You enjoyed it, you appreciated it. The complacency is one of the biggest chesronos. You know, everything is that way. You come, oh, it's a shmak, your friend, he was nice to me, and you enjoyed the niceness. Then, okay, it becomes... This is V'even hazos asher samti matzeivah. Yeah, basically, Kim. Vameila v'chol asher titen li, it'll be a reminder of kol asher titen li aser asrenu lach. Always appreciate. Think of what it was, and never take things for granted. Vameila v'chol asher titen li aser asrenu lach. This, rabosai, was the lesson. It's me'oirdike. You know, I sometimes wonder, you know, something I always think to myself: Avraham was a tremendous baal chesed, yeah. Yitzchok was a karban olah. What was Yaakov? You see, Yaakov did business. Yaakov did business. And at the same time, Yaakov was Torah. So which one was it? You hold that—I mean, stam a leitzanus—what do you hold? You hold that Yaakov Avinu, when he was working day and night by Lavan, he was singing and learning? I always wonder about it. So how could the semel haTorah be v'chol ani cherev kerech balailah? The Chofetz Chaim always speaks that from Yaakov Avinu we can learn the importance of every minute, and not to steal, and not to—right? What's the pshat? The mefarshim say very... Avraham was kulo chesed, Yitzchok was עולה תמימה. Yaakov was derech hachayim. Yaakov was life. Yaakov was Torah and how to live a life of Torah. Sometimes in a life of Torah, we have to go to work. But you always have to recognize the haschalah of it, the beginnings. What did you start with? What did you have in the beginning? And then you appreciate. Appreciation is the yesod of kol haTorah kulah. You know, I was thinking once, what was Adam Rishon thinking? What was Adam Rishon thinking? He would say that he was maybe a koifer b'ikkar, I don't know. Didn't listen to Hashem. Chazal call him a kafui tov, you know that? Chazal say, hakafui tov. And whenever the, I think the Gemara says by Noach, whenever they did a chesed, it says, ben b'noi shel kafui tov. It's a loshon of Chazal. What do you mean, kafui tov? Chataim is about kefiyas hatov. You see that the shoresh of every chet is kefiyas hatov. Unbelievable. Are you asking that the shoresh of every chet, how does that work? You don't be able to do it. How could you do it? How could you do it? You know where complacency is? Vayishman Yeshurun vayivat. You know what? We should be able to do it. It says, Tzur yeladcha teshi. That's otherwise we wouldn't be able to do a chet. We'll never be able to do a chet. How could we? Thank the Eibishter. You see in your life, yeah, the beginning you get married, you thank your wife for every little thing. Then you...

becomes complacent. ... The person's makir tov. It's a whole different person, an ander mensch. This rabbeisai is, v'even hazos asher samti matzeivah. Try not to forget. Intelligent people always recognize the hakaras... He was my friend. He did for me. I had from him. I had from this person. Ribono Shel Olam, You gave me. I had nothing before; now I have. You don't have a home. You don't have children. What did you have before? Everybody has children, and now I want more. I want something more. It's not the way it is, okay? This is the limud of v'even hazos asher samti. ... Evan hazos. Yaakov says, This will be, v'chol asher titein li, and that will always tell me that whatever I aser, I remember, because I remember with what I started with. What? V'haya Hashem li lElokim. That's what I'm saying. I keep that on ... That's what I was saying. I didn't finish it. Because otherwise, what does he mean, V'haya Hashem li lElokim? That's what he means. I'll always remember hakaras hatov. Good luck. Have a wonderful day.